During the next couple of weeks, I will house and pet sit for my lucky parents. They won topnotch prize all expense paid month long getaway. Aforementioned well deserved escapade courtesy me, their aspiring paperback book writing son. No sooner did their plane taxi off the runway piloted toward lost horizon (bound for warmer clime bajillion miles away), then intimations of sadness arose. A sudden pang for their presence to fill immediate profound absence arose. Tears streaming down my face, I sojourned back to 324 Level Road and to keep bad company with two dogs (hybrid Border Collies named Ruff and Teddy), plus six cats christened Brandon cat , Sargent Pepper, Oh Sage, Sukie, Tara, Zak (zigger zacker).
As predicted by weather forecasters, old man winter promised doozy sprung up his figurative sleeve. Meteorologists ex post facto would decree approaching blizzard, no matter not one snowflake fell, nonetheless already dubbed storm of the twenty first century. Once comfortably sequestered cozying up next to wood burning stove emitting sacred heart soon found yours comfortably numb. With eyes wide shut, I couldn't care less if fate of humanity could go to hell in a handbasket. Before drifting off into atavistic, animalistic, adventuristic... sleep, I silently, (and possibly even prematurely ejaculated) C'mon nor'easter whar art thou? Show your stuff already, and pep in your step without anymore lollygagging!
No surprise crystalized precipitation encompassing snow played momentous prominent, significant vital role. As true with majority of dreams filling me noggin, there tended a distinctly and faintly familiar unconscious environment, while drifting into palpably (unREMembered) realistic scenarios. While deeply slumbering, an unexpectedly rattling, mentally jarring, and frighteningly disquieting nightmarish image came to my unconscious mind. Clear out of the blue (er... rather fifty shades of bobbing sponge like material), a most severely debilitating, disabling panic attack woke thyself into a groggy state. Similar to other previous, (albeit wide awake) unpredictable, inexplicable, disagreeable... spates whereby adrenaline fiendishly and furiously coursed thru these lovely bones when awake, insync with vertigo, racing heart, profuse perspiration, et cetera no more rest for discombobulated and disoriented weary wordsmith prevailed. Unable resume restful state, when yours truly scared out of his skin, I dreaded succumbing to profoundly chilling outer limits casting dark shadows across fictitious twilight zone. Extreme fatigue gutted hopefulness closing eyes, lest scary tragicomic unsettled vision returns with a vengeance. Impossible mission to keep heavy eyelids open a second longer.
Thus I could not help but surrender to the overpowering force utter exhaustion welcomed. Once again another episode, (or resumption of recent fright) quickly found me snoring away, the latter accepted as gospel truth told yours truly by Matthew Scott. Once again dizzying whirlwind (think polar vortex) whipped tornado quickly nuking kickstarting jumpstarted instantaneous tranquility segway and disrupted peaceful easy feeling. Unlike the previous foray into fully throttled anxiety, I trod (with all my might) across avast terrafirma pure as the driven snow. Though also afflicted with somnambulism, no stranger to wakening as stranger in a strange land, such mind boggling propensity repeatedly found me puzzled when sitting and/or standing bolt upright out in the middle of nowhere solely donning skivvies, whereby trumpeting elephants heard, (hence obviously a Republican conspiracy), cuz any random inexplicable bizarre events likely to occur during rapid eye movement, especially dependent upon fancifulness of aspiring paperback book short story writer.
While sunk deep within imperturbable, impenetrable, and impregnable asleep, the hours silently ticked away as heavy snowfall blanketed greensward constituting approximate half dozen plus vestigial acres encompassing former Glen Elm estate. Said hundred plus year old demesne formerly attested glorious summer house of one Mister Leiper, (a wealthy legendary seaman) and his family. All the while oblivious to Ole man winter, who whipped up bomb cyclone. Such meteorological so named phenomena housing because low pressure system (central barometric pressure drops at least 24 millibars in 24 hours), which can produce hurricane-force winds with very heavy rainfall or snow. Any casual observer would witness whiteout conditions. Outsize snowflakes pinwheeled, pirouetted,
and pixelated, i.e. process whereby enlargement of displayed visible area reached point at which no further detail can be resolved. Upon imagining (actually believing) myself awake yours truly set about attentively bundling himself with layer upon layer of clothing before venturing out into the blistering, bone chilling deep freeze (think polar vortex) wintry world. Though less dog gone ebullient (since papa considered the two aforementioned former throw away canines him as one and only master. Impossible mission to trod within waist high awesomely entrancing, incredibly mesmerizing, and quintessentially undulating yawning, drifting blindingly bright expanse. Challenge rendered even more arduous to Ruff and Teddy, who disappeared while each burrowed separate tunnel to attend their excretory needs. Usually I waited inside as they expended energy racing around the perimeter of property. Rather than risk ultimate demise of smart pets, I attempted to wallow and wade keeping lookout where zig zagging paths (think unicursal maze as portrayed in The Shining by Stephen King) described their unseen thick coat of fur. Despite making fresh tracks (as also applied to beloved pets) intense voluminous white stuff quickly, (née instantaneously) covered over every effort to trek within close proximity of home sweet home.
Amidst threading thru powdery white precipitation, an unexpected paralyzing panic found me immediately petrified. The whole wide world appeared as spinning like a dreidel at the wings of sound. Also concomitant wozziness made debut cameo lotted role. Breathless tired this aging baby boomer, who made mental note to resume daily exercises. Uptick physiological symptoms, (albeit palpitating heart, profuse perspiration, which automatically froze undermost garments to skin, and intensified nausea crested with denouement yours truly falling backward borne aloft courtesy now shoulder height snow. Earthquake sensations prevented standing upright, which emulated action tossed me head over heels nsync with muffled barking, when healthy pooches blithely tossed into cold air. These topsy turvy agitated unexplained vagaries knocked sense and sensibility upon deadweight corporeal essence constituting thyself no longer asleep, who quickly batted his eyelids. Awareness suddenly dawned I dreamt being inside a snowglobe shaken by some precocious kid.
When fully cognizant and conscious, I looked outside and espied nothing but whiteness pure as the driven snow. Fortunate four footed friends blessedly and blissfully suffused in their own dreamscape, as indicated by rapidly twitching legs.