Friends In Low Places

Submitted into Contest #40 in response to: Write a story about someone turning to a friend in a time of need.... view prompt

2 comments

Funny Friendship Fiction

Leo had a headache. That wasn’t surprising, since he had approximately a billion scented candles burning around him, but it annoyed him nonetheless. Why did so many spells require so many candles? He hoped that the smoke wouldn't set off the fire alarm. The last thing he needed was his landlord coming by and seeing what he was up to. 


Leo glanced at the book to his side, then back at the circle in front of him. He double, triple, quadruple checked his work to be absolutely sure that he had gotten everything right. One mistake, and he could end up with one way ticket straight to hell, either metaphorically or literally. His headache pulsed uncomfortably behind his eyes, distracting him. He grabbed some pain meds from his bag, swallowing them dry. 


“Okay, everything seems fine.” he mumbled to himself. “Just gotta do the last part, and...yeah. Everything will be fine. I got this.”


He took a deep breath before kneeling down in front of the circle, closing his eyes and steadying his heart. With one final peek at the book, he recited the chant under his breath. 


“Heu esse daemonum, non est me puer. Ignis egressus est foramen magnum animum mihi datis consilium vivunt. Da mihi flamma magna gallinam non cadere. Gratias bene vale!”


For just a second, nothing happened. Leo popped open one eye, worried that he had messed something up, before the candle’s flames burst upwards like miniature flamethrowers, singeing the ceiling. Leo flung himself backwards, sitting with his back pressed against the wall as he watched flame and smoke fill his living room. The smoke spiraled around the circle, twisting and turning before a hand larger than Leo’s entire body reached out and grabbed the edge of a giant, flaming portal. Another equally large hand joined it, pulling up the head of a massive demon. 


“Who dares call upon me, Arrizath, lord of pride and commander of- ow!”


Arrizath hit his head on the ceiling, unable to fit past his chest. He sunk back into the portal just a bit, giving himself enough room to rub the sore spot with his hand. 


“Hey Arri.” Leo called nonchalantly, pulling himself back to his feet.


“Tiny mortal, you have no right to call me by such a-”


As the smoke finally began to clear out, Arrizath got a good look at where he was and who had brought him here.


“Ah! Leo! Didn’t see you there! It’s been a while, how’ve you been?”


As if his personality had completely shifted, Arrizath’s fearsome scowl turned into a toothy grin. He leaned down, placing his arms on the ground and resting his head on them.


“I’m...y’know, I’ve been better. How ‘bout you, how’s Hell treating you?”


“Eh, you know how it goes. Torturing sinners for all eternity can get tiring, but I’d rather be in my position than theirs.” he said with a light chuckle. “But what’s up? Something wrong? We usually only hang out when you screw up and need me to bail your soul out of Hell. Demon summoning isn’t exactly your thing, last I checked.”


“I’ll admit, it’s not.” Leo confessed. 


“I’ll say! I mean, that chanting earlier? That was some Google Translate Latin right there. Complete nonsense!”


“Hey! I was just saying what it said in the book.” Leo argued, gesturing to the book. Arrizath picked it up, inspecting it as he held it with his thumb and index finger.


“This piece of garbage? Man, whatever you paid for this was too much, I’m telling you. I’m surprised it even worked. If you weren’t already into all this dark magic crap, I don’t think this would’ve done anything.”


“That’s beside the point! Look, I wanted to talk to you, alright? About something serious.”


Arrizath went to make another joke, but he caught a look at Leo’s expression, and stopped. It was clear that something was up. 


“Alright, alright, I’ll cut it out. What do you need to talk about?”


“It’s...You’ve heard about this virus, right?” 


“Oh, yeah, for sure. Death’s been telling us all about it every time she comes down. Poor thing’s absolutely exhausted.”


“So you know about the lockdowns and self quarantining, right?”


“Sure do! Y’know, it’s actually caused us an uptick of people trying to summon us. Bunch of bored teenagers willing to do anything but their schoolwork, at least from what I’ve been told. I’ve been lucky enough to be left alone, at least until you called me over.”


Leo frowned.


“N-Not that I don’t enjoy your company! You know that’s not what I meant. I like hanging out with you!” Arrizath added. 


“Y’know, if I’m bothering you, you can just say so. You can forget it, actually, I’m sorry for calling you up here.” Leo said, looking disheartened.


“Come on now, don’t say that. You’re not bothering me, honest!”


Leo didn’t look convinced. 


“No, no, it’s fine if you are. This was stupid, now that I think about. You can’t fit in here, and you’ve got work to do, so I’ll leave you alone.”


Leo reached for the book that was still in Arrizath’s hold. In one swift motion, Arrizath threw the book behind him.


“Hey!”


“Hey nothing! I’m not just gonna let you banish me before you tell me what’s up!” Arrizath said, growing more serious. “Go on, spill.”


Leo scowled at Arrizath. His hands shook ever so slightly at his side, causing him to ball them into fists.


“I have ways of making you leave without that dumb book.” 


Storming off to one of the corners of the room, Leo began to search through his drawers for spell components. 


“Blackberry, sage, cinquefoil…”


Arrizath rolled his eyes. As Leo tried to light a match to begin burning incense, Arrizath reached out and grabbed Leo’s entire body with one hand, picking him up and bringing him up to his face. 


“A-Arri! Let go!” Leo shouted as he struggled in Arrizath’s grasp. Arrizath’s grip didn’t falter. 


“I’ll let you go once you talk to me, Leo! I mean, Lucifer below, you’re acting like a little brat. Spit it out!”


“I said forget it! It’s nothing!” Leo yelled, voice cracking. He turned his head away from Arrizath, sniffing pitifully. Arrizath sighed, loosening his grip slightly and rubbing Leo’s shoulder with his thumb. 


“Hey, you’re alright. No need to freak out, I’m here with you.” Arrizath mumbled softly. After a moment, Leo spoke up again. 


“It’s just...I’ve been here by myself for a couple months now, and...I don’t know, I guess it’s finally getting to me. All my friends are busy either still working or taking care of their families, and just...I feel bad trying to talk to them, like I’m wasting their time or something.” he finally admitted. Arrizath carefully put him back down. 


“You’re not wasting anybody’s time. I mean, Hell, I’m sure your friends miss you as well. I know I sure did.” Arrizath said, giving a small, genuine smile. Leo returned it. 


“...So, how long do we got?”


“Ah, I’d say an hour or two. I’ve got some of my lesser demons working on my usuals, and this portal’s surprisingly stable for what it is. Wanna play some cards?”


“Hell yeah.”

May 06, 2020 21:36

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2 comments

Micah Lewter
01:52 May 15, 2020

Dark humor demon summoning. That's a new one. Very creative and imaginative.

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Tarin Santos
21:14 May 11, 2020

Aw! I love this. The ambience at the start of the story was so dark and mysterious. I loved the feel of the candles and the setting and then- Bam! All of a sudden, the mood changed, and ever so smoothly too! I love both these characters, and I could read a whole book about them. Thank you for sharing!

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