Hindsight 2020.

Hindsight 2020.

The windows are boarded up like the Starbucks Reserve on Mayday. It’s not a hurricane and the Storm aren’t around anymore. 

Someone stealing your Amazon packages from your doorstep isn’t considered a break-in, is it? I’ve heard they are called Porch Pirates. That’s a stupid name.  

It’s like Jean Valjean except the bread is AirPods. 

I mean Santa breaks into everyone’s house, doesn’t he? And no one has a problem with that. Just because he leaves gifts instead of takes them doesn’t make it any less of a break in. 

It’s a college town so a lot of people leave for the holiday or the whole winter if they can. Seattle winters are something you get through. 

She wants a bowl for this matcha stuff she bought from Japan. I don’t really understand it at all, it’s hard raising a daughter. It’s gotta be the perfect bowl to drink from, that’s how they do it in Japan, she says. I try to understand her, I do, but it’s hard. 

Out of sight out of mind. It’s vacation. Besides I have a good security system and good neighbors. 

We need new bulbs for the red and green lights. They are not LEDs they are antiques.

I’m looking for an outfit for a New Years party. It’s roaring twenties themed. 

It’s like The Gift of the Magi, but the newlyweds are burglars. 

I’m not using wrapping paper this year. 

What will they even steal if we aren’t there? Whatever we didn’t take with us? What did you leave at home? The cat? You are wearing your favorite earrings. 

They don’t know where we keep the family Bible. 

Maybe a neighborhood watch would be a good idea? 

I don’t even know my neighbors. 

A white Christmas is technically when one inch or more of snow falls on the day. No one could steal that. 

Is it better for the environment to get a real tree or a fake tree?

Leave the light on, that will make it look like we’re still home. 

I didn’t want to put my mouth on any of the bowls at the ceramicist’s place. They work from home, the shop is like a yard sale. I told her want I wanted, a bowl for matcha making. She sold me one. It was eighty dollars, handmade, local. 

I don’t know why Santa gives some kids more gifts than other kids. 

They let the cat out when they got the door open. Its been snowing for a few hours now. She’s never been outside. 

They didn’t steal the tree, not as bad as the Grinch. No one is as bad as the Grinch, so no one is as redeemable. 

We bought experiences this year. Not things.

I’ll read Gatsby this year. 

We dressed up the Elf on the Shelf like a burglar this year, stealing cookies from the cookie jar. Stripped shirt and eye mask, was pretty derivative of the Hamburglar actually. 

It’s a little like Home Alone, right? 

I wonder what the Christmas Gift from North Korea will be. 

They broke the windows. The electric bill will be expensive. 

All I want for Christmas is environmental awareness. 

They didn’t steal the Matcha bowl. I’d hidden it in the kitchen. Took everything from under the tree. And my wife and I sat there as Katie whisked and frothed with her bamboo thing the tea. We all drank from the same cup, a family. 

We put up some LOST CAT signs. It usually doesn’t snow in Seattle. The world is changing. I hope she’s okay, people don’t know how to drive in the snow here. 

My parents made me go to church. People were talking about the break-ins. At least no one has been hurt, that’s the blessing in all of this. 

THIEVES DRESSED AS SANTA ARRESTED, JAN 2^nd, AT DOWNTOWN MACY’S AFTER TRYING TO RETURN MULTIPLE ITEMS WITHOUT RECEIPT.

My favorite part about Christmas is when they put the trees into the net machine and they get all skinny. 

I don’t celebrate Christmas. 

You have to move out on the 1^st? That’s gonna be hard. 

We confirmed their faces from the security cameras on the house on 114^th, they have resold most of the items they stole. 

We took a cruise to see the Northern Lights, we saw them. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. The best Christmas ever. 

They didn’t steal the Bible, or the box we inherited from grandpa all those silver coins. Sure the tv is gone and so is the good liquor but Christmas is still going to come and go. 

No they weren’t dressed as Santa when they tried to do the returns. But it was still wild, the cops came and everything. But hey, do I talk to you about my holiday pay? Or which manager is it? 

We didn’t find the cat. Maybe someone found her and kept her. Not a Christmas gift but a Christmas miracle, a friendly cat on your doorstep after the biggest snow we have had in ten years. What a blessing that would be. 

 It’s a new movie where the zombie apocalypse takes place on Christmas. It’s like a horror comedy. It’s good if you like things like that. 

They stole those star-casters from the Thompson’s yard. Maybe they just hated them, they were pretty bright, or maybe a dog ran off with them, who would steal Christmas lights. 

Did you know Jim Carrey had to take lessons from this guy who helped CIA agents handle torture to do his make up for the Grinch movie? It was apparently super hard to deal with. Glad people like the movie. 

Maybe we should have stayed home for Christmas this year, had family come to our house? I don’t know. Our house is pretty small. 

I didn’t even leave this year I was just out late for a reading at Elliot Bay and they broke in while I was out. They stole my laptop that has all my writing on it. That’s all I really care about. That’s so much work, so much creative labor, I can buy a new laptop but won’t be able to write all that again. They probably factory reset it so even if you find it, all the stuff on it is probably gone. Photos too. 

I looked up the mythos behind mistletoe. Its really sad its about a mother mourning the death of her son, mourned so hard the berries turned white. 

Our insurance will cover the losses. It’s just that the dress you wanted is all sold out in your size. I’m sorry, you’ll have to pick something else. 

We ca watch “A Christmas Story” on the downstairs TV— the antique. I’ll bring it up! A tradition, ho, ho, ho. 

The matcha was the best tea I have ever had. 

I’ll never write all that again. 

It’s like A Christmas Carol, except all the ghosts are Christmas present. 

We adopted a kitten in March 2020. 

Spring came with a vengeance. 

I’ll buy all my trim on Boxing Day. Next year we will have all new stuff. 

I read Gatsby. 

We kissed under the northern lights on the Pacific Ocean, waves above waves, waves below waves, we remembered what love was like.

I couldn’t have done more than I did last year.