(title is at the end)

Its raining. 

It’s been raining for days actually,

I used to love the rain.

It once felt like a giant hug from the earth, it made me feel loved.

Things have changed.

Each day I feel like I’m drowning,

As I’m walking down the street, clothes starting to weigh on me,

I watch a leaf flow down the street and be taken into a storm drain by the rain.

Never to be seen again.

One day it might rain just enough to take me too 

Laying on my bed, 

Staring at the old glow in the dark stars on my ceiling, 

I think of what my life could be.

If I was a different person,

Living a different lifestyle, 

Surrounded by different people.

“Hey Girl! How are you? How was your weekend? I saw your Instagram, you looked Fabolous!” I laugh. “Sherry! You are too sweet, it was a-mazing! He took me on the best date I will probably ever go on. It was unbelievable.” 

“Honey, you deserve it, look at all you do. I’m glad he is turning out to be everything you hoped and dreamed of.” “Sherry, really, you are too sweet, thank you for that.”

“Anytime, now, you’ll have to tell me more about it sometime this week! I need to be going before Cory has a fit. One of the investors wants to pull out to go to a different program”

“Oh wow, I’m sure that’s a sight to see…”

She gives me an ‘oh exactly’ face before smiling and leaving. 

I let out a large yawn and laugh to myself, my eyes watering a little. I rub my temple, tired from this past weekend. Looking up at the time, it’s almost nine. 

Sighing, I get up to go grab a cup of coffee, I need to wake up quickly. Mondays are my busiest days and here I am, dragging. 

After a few hours of working, the only constant thing on my mind- besides work, is Sam. Things are starting to get serious. I never thought him, and I would end up here this quick. I couldn’t be happier. I realized I was grinning from ear to ear at my desk.

I pick my phone up swiftly and text Sam. Hey, how is work? I really enjoyed this weekend and seeing you. Just wanted to say thank you again. I keep thinking of something else to say but couldn’t think of much so decide to let him fill the blank space in my mind. 

Hey gorgeous, I’m having an unexpectedly busy day today. Let me take you to dinner tonight after work? We can go on surprise trips every weekend if you want.

Nooo haha, not necessary Sam. Really, this was plenty I just can’t get the trip or you off my mind today. I would love dinner. Where can I meet you?

Meet me? I’ll send someone to pick you up at 5, Italian tonight? 

Yes. Thank you.

Can’t wait to see you, love. 

I set my phone down on the desk, unable to focus on work for the moment. I just want to scream. Life is going so well right now.

--------------

Leaving work, I feel like a child, so happy and carefree. Sam is so genuinely him and I can’t get enough of it. It’s been so refreshing to meet someone like him. Humming along, I walk a little way down the street to where I see one of Sam’s cars. I open the door and get in the back seat. “How are you today?” I smile warmly. 

“Great, ma’am, and you?” 

I can’t see his whole face in the mirror, but I can see the skin around his eyes crinkle, and I know he’s smiling back. “Surprisingly well for a Monday, where will dinner be tonight?”

“Ahhh,” He laughs slightly, “sounds like it’s a surprise for you then.” 

I laugh and throw my hand at him in a waving motion as he works his way into traffic and on our way to dinner. 

I thank the driver and exit the vehicle. There he was, standing a few feet away smiling at me, finishing a phone call. 

“Sorry about that, are you ready, I had to finish a work call. I wish I could have picked you up.” He says at once. Before I could even speak, he starts again, “Before diner, I was thinking, we should walk down to the fountain. Make a wish?”

He kissed me on the lips softly. I smiled into his touch. “Yes, let’s go.” He is so thoughtful. I’m smiling ear to eat at this point. “Dinner is in about 10 minutes, so we’ll be quick” He grabs my hand and looks both ways before crossing the street. We cross swiftly and walk towards the fountain, it’s beautiful. 

“Oh, hold on.” He’s patting his pockets, “I think my wallet is in the car, wait here please.” 

He smiles reassuring me as I lightly laugh, “Okay, hurry back.” He takes off in a small jog towards his car, not far off from us. He slips inside his car quickly and within a few seconds was back out. He looks up grinning, wallet in hand. He waves it back and forth in the air, making me laugh at his behavior. 

He slips it into his pocket and starts running back to me. No faster than I could blink I hear a horn honking. A big horn too, I look over and see a garbage truck. The smile, stolen from my face. 

“Sam! Stop!” I throw my hands up urging him to stop running, to wait. He looks directly at the truck, coming right for him.

No

His face, panicked, he turns, our eyes meet. His scared, sorry even- mine, desperate. 

The horn is so loud, and the tires making an awful noise as the truck tries to slow down. Everything is happening so fast my feet haven’t moved from the spot he left me at, and I can’t tell if I’m even breathing right now. My head is spinning, I force my eyes shut, I can’t watch this.

Instantly, I’m forced awake, 

The thunder, loud outside my window

And a tree whipping against the side of the house.

5:58am 

I shut my eyes, disappointed.

“It’s not fair,” I whisper,

all alone.

She Dreams in Colors