48 comments

Sad

Writers Note- I can't seem to write anything happy. Every time I do anymore, they just end up sad in the end. I have tried to promise a happy story, but I feel like the writers stories are tied to there emotions. I have been dealing with a lot. Starting out, my friends are going through a lot, and to feel better, they give all of there problems to me. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my friends, but its just so hard to feel sorry for them anymore. I feel... numb now. I can feel happy, and frustration, but sadness doesn't seem to register that easily. On top of all of this, some of my friends are just leaving for a day for no reason at all. Like one of my best friends who helps me through pretty much life, just keeps leaving school. I have horrible grades which lead to an infuriated mother, and now I have detention. I don't know what to do. I am asking for advice. I will give you mine in return. This is all I could write with my sorrowful heart. This is how I feel.


I don’t know why people bully me. They do it to make me feel bad. They do it for fun. They call me names and make fun of my face. They look at me and think, ‘oh look it’s the ugly girl who smells like trash and looks gross.’ I’ve been bullied since preschool. It’s extremely hard for me to fit in. It’s difficult. And no it’s not just, get over it it’ll all be ok. I’ve had to deal with this for 7 years. People mocking me and making fun of me and then going home to do chores and put a fake smile on. I’ve felt like this my whole life. And no one has noticed me. And I thought it was because I had no friends. So in 6th grade I got some and still got bullied. What is so wrong with me? Why do people do this? I get confused sometimes. Why is it that whenever I try and do something very hard and try to get things done, I end up being wrong. People talk about me behind my back and laugh at me. They make fun of my name and call me ugly. They say that I’m just a freak and I don’t deserve to live. Words hurt. And they cut deep. If I could pause the world, and take a deep breath, then un-pause, I would feel better. Even if I could cry forever. 


I tell my friends I cry myself to sleep. They think it’s a joke and laugh at it… but… it’s not a joke. Nothing I say is a joke. I cry myself to sleep and keep to myself. I’m used to tears. I’m numb now. I can’t feel anything. I can’t feel pain anymore. It hurts. It hurts so bad. But I keep on living my life. I hope that one day it’ll all pay off. Until then, I get bullied, spat on, hurt, and feel pain. I get to feel all those things. And then, I get to cry. I get to go home and cry it all out. But until I go home, I keep a straight face. I keep my fake smile. I stay lonely. I keep on writing.


Why do I write? Writing helps me hide who I am. I can write about something and people will think that that’s just what the character is thinking. But no, it never is. It’s what I’m thinking. It’s what helps me keep that straight face and feel better. Even if my eyes water up and I feel tears roll down my cheeks, I keep my straight face. I keep it and I stay strong. I keep my fake face on. I stay happy.


Underneath the mask there is a girl who wishes she had good grades.

Underneath the mask there is a girl crying.

Underneath the mask there is a girl who sobs day and night.

Underneath those sleeves there's a slit for every person who's hurt her.

She gets bullied for being her. 

She looks in the mirror and cries.

She starves herself for others.

She gets hurt deep inside.

She tries to fit in.

But it’s hard.

It’s so, so hard.

February 02, 2022 21:24

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48 comments

TJ Squared
14:22 Feb 04, 2022

Heyyy, it’s been a while. I just want you to know that you are NEVER alone, not for one second. God loves you so so so much, don’t ever forget that. He’s there when it dark everywhere else, because He promises not to leave us. Praying for you <3

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15:09 Feb 07, 2022

Thanks, you are really sweet! This makes me feel so good.

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TJ Squared
14:12 Feb 11, 2022

Love you, and so does God <3

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14:49 Feb 11, 2022

:)

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TJ Squared
14:52 Feb 11, 2022

:) how's it going?

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16:53 Feb 11, 2022

good, bout you?

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Creed .
21:21 Feb 07, 2022

Hey, Warrior. How are you? What have you done recently that's interesting?

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21:52 Feb 07, 2022

I'm doing alright. Something I have done recently that is interesting is I wrote a song with my gutair.

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Creed .
23:22 Feb 07, 2022

I read all of your bio. I'm sorry to hear you're thinking thought dark, dark thoughts. Can I do anything to help?

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14:46 Feb 08, 2022

Kinda, I guess just some support would help

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Creed .
15:01 Feb 08, 2022

Okay. Here's a link to a bible verse you should read. https://www.bible.com/bible/116/PSA.42.NLT You can read my story: The night is never eternal. I dedicated it to abbie, but it's for everyone. (It's at the bottom of my second page. You can come to me if you need to vent. I'm praying for you.

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15:18 Feb 08, 2022

Ok, thank you so much

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Julia, I had no idea of your struggles. I am praying for you. Thank you for being brave enough to reach out and ask for help. Remember, God loves you. If you want or need to talk more about these things, I will listen. You will NOT be unloading problems on someone who already hears too many. Please don't hate yourself. God doesn't hate you, and he doesn't want you to hate yourself, either. I know this is the first time I've said anything to you, so I'll say thank you for Following me. It means so much. Psalm 90 The just is secure under ...

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15:10 Feb 07, 2022

I can't believe you care. Thank you so much

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Yes, I do care. I've been praying for you, including today. If you want to talk, I'm here to listen. ❤️ For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of affliction, to give you an end and patience. -Jeremias 29:11

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13:52 Feb 11, 2022

Again, thank you so much.

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13:52 Feb 11, 2022

Again, thank you so much.

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J The Hedgehog
01:03 Feb 04, 2022

I’m so sorry, I hope things will get better for you soon. Love you bestie!

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15:10 Feb 07, 2022

Love you more! Thanks...

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Unknown User
04:30 Feb 09, 2022

<removed by user>

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14:38 Feb 09, 2022

Thanks a lot

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Unknown User
19:03 Feb 09, 2022

<removed by user>

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19:04 Feb 09, 2022

:)

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Hi, I pray you are well. ------------------- Do you read the prologue of a book? A Yes, every time B No, never C Sometimes/It depends Note: I am copy-and-pasting this to multiple people. -------------------

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18:08 May 02, 2022

A

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