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Funny

Jannette had a plan today.

 Or maybe it wasn’t exactly a plan if not really doing anything could be considered a plan. She had the gracious plan of being alone. To be within the sound of wonderful silence. No drama, no doing anything or talking to anyone. It would be great. A break she desperately wanted. Being an introvert is hard when everyone around you is an extrovert. No time to just be by yourself. Sometimes, a girl just needs time off. From everybody, from life. Nothing wrong with that. No offense to you guys, but just...no thank you. I'm good. Myself is company enough for me. That's how she felt right about now. 

Jannette got up into her kitchen to make herself a nice, hot cup of tea. When that was all done and the steam rose in wisps like wind, she took her seat in her petite, but comfy, couch and sat. She set her tea on the coaster on the little stand next to her and laid her head back with a sigh of relief. No stress, no tight dress, no untidy mess to worry about. All was-

 RINGGGG RING RINGGGGGG

Her phone. 

No, she told herself. I will NOT answer this phone. But maybe I'll just see who it is. 

She sighed. Not out of relief this time. She picked up her phone. It was her sister. Her pregnant sister. Who was due any week now. Could the baby be early!?

“JANNETTE! You better come down here. I’m freaking out. The baby might be early! I don’t know what to do!” *audible nurse talking to her sister telling her to breathe* “I think it’s happening!”

That was Carter, her sister’s husband. Somehow her younger sister got married before her. But that was not the thing to fret about now. Her SISTER might be having her BABY and she had to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW. 

“Ok, Ok, Ok, Carter just calm down. I’m on my way, be there at fifteen.” What if she missed it! Of course, her day of supposed calm had become her day of absolute chaos!

She fled to her keys on the stand by the door and ran out to her car. She drove a little faster than the speed limit but good thing no cops stopped her. That’s when she got a call.

“Carter? Did I miss it?” Jannette checked her watch. She was seven minutes away now.

“Well...about that…”

***

FALSE CONTRACTIONS! SERIOUSLY?

Jannette fought to calm herself down and took a sip of her cooling tea. She thought she was becoming an Aunt today but, NOPE. She also thought she was going to have a peaceful day today but, guess what? NOPE. 

Now, she was stuck in TRAFFIC. Like, a lot of traffic, and was STUCK. Great, just great. She couldn’t even go back to try and reclaim her day of being alone. Well...maybe...Maybe she could just have her alone time in her car. She silenced her phone and sat back with a sigh of relief. Just when she was coming to her zen, someone tapped on her window. She flinched and opened her eyes. It was an older lady.

Jannette rolled down her window, trying to keep in the sigh of un-relief. One of her eyes twitched in agitation.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Hi dear, do you think you could help me out with my groceries? The traffic looks pretty backed up, I’m sure you’ll be here a while. My arms don’t have the strength they used to.” Her face was so old and so freaking kind. 

“Can’t you just ask one of the people who work-” The lady looked pleading. Jannette bowed her head and re-lifted it. There was now a smile pasted on her face.

“Of course.”

***

How much groceries does one old lady need?

Jannette helped the old lady put away her bags, each filled to the top with food. It took a little longer than she expected and now she was back in her car, still stuck in traffic. What a day NOT planned, huh? Her tea was now cold and didn’t taste as good but she drank some anyway. 

That’s when she got yet ANOTHER call. She THOUGHT she silenced her phone! She actually just pressed the off button...oops.

Don’t answer it, don’t answer it. But then a part of her brain told her this.

What if it’s an emergency? She let out a groan and picked up. 

“Yes?” She tried to hide her annoyance but it didn’t work very well. Anyway, the person didn’t seem to take note of it.

“Good thing you picked up. Jannette, Courtney’s crying again. She drank too much and it’s girl’s night. If you could just...you know...try to lighten her up a bit?” Jannette placed her head on her steering wheel.

“Sure, Paola. I’ll be there soon.”

“Ugh, thank you so much, we appreciate it.”

“No problem.” She was clearly being sarcastic but Paola hung up before she said that last part.

***

Now, that was a long talk.

She was finally able to keep Courtney from crying after an HOUR. Ok, not really an hour, but that’s how long it felt to her. Could she ever just go through a day BY HERSELF with NOTHING ELSE? She guessed not.

She got in her car once again and sped home, actually managing to silence her phone correctly this time. She passed a Dunkin’ and realized how hungry she really was. 

My day’s already ruined so WHY NOT?

She parked and entered the building which HAD to be full of people. She was already there so why turn back? She was craving chocolate munchkins anyway. So that’s what she got and that’s what she ate. Three little donuts that were absolutely delicious. One highlight of her UN-PLANNED day. 

Finally, she was pulling into her driveway. The ride home was gladly calm and clear. Yes, sweet, sweet, empty home. Sweet like the donuts she had shoved in her mouth. Time for her and herself ONLY. Just how it should have been in the first place. She entered her chilled room and sat on her petite, but comfy, couch, cold tea in her hands. At last. She reclined to relax and unwind. Until-

DIII INN GGG

Stupid, STUPID doorbell!

She sat up, cursing all her way to the door, and opened it. In the doorframe stood a teenage boy who looked to be about nineteen years of age, all dressed in black.

“Uh, yes?” Jannette asked.

“Hey, what’s up? I’m Coronavirus, but I guess you can just call me Covid.” He arranged his hands in the rock and roll symbol before Jannette slammed the door shut.

NOPE. Not today.

July 24, 2021 19:04

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RBE | We made a writing app for you (photo) | 2023-02

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