3 comments

Crime Teens & Young Adult Funny

Tod had been working on his Bucky Ball model for days. He had looked up the structure for his science fair project. Tod felt like this was the day he would win the Scholarship Prize.

It was his junior year at Openheimer Highschool. Tod had known he loved chemistry. He wanted to go to Harvard and become a world famous Research Scientist. The science fair offered a scholarship to the first place winner. Tod needed it if there was hope of paying for any college education!

He wasn't the only one who wanted it, obviously, but the only competitor Tod was worried about was his older brother. Ryan was the only one on the same level intellectually and competitively.

Their mother and father had been geniuses. Doctor Merna Spira, had discovered evidence of Dark Matter's role in something she called "Galatic Entanglement". Professor Kirby Spira was helping develop artificial inteligence that thought more like humans and could be taught ethics.

It was a lot for both boys to live up to. This had created no shortage of rivalry between Ryan and Tod. Both would say things like "My robot can beat up your robot;" or "Ryan, there's no way that compound is water soluble!" The siblings' competitive streaks had grown with them.

For the past two years, both had entered Openheimer High's science fair. Ryan had beat Tod every time. Yet the younger of the two believed his projects had been improving. Tod's poster explaining the importance of conversion of opsin to redopsin had almost won him first place last time.

If Ryan hadn't brought in videos of all three types of volcanic eruption AND samples of pyroclastic bombs, Tod would've won! How had his elder brother even got the money to order geologic specimens?

Whatever, the stakes were way higher this year. Openheimer Highschool had never offered a scholarship as a prize before. This could change the winner's life forever.

Snapping the last bond into place between two carbon atoms, Tod completed the Bucky Ball. He grinned with sattisfaction. "I bet nobody's done this before!" Tod told himself. "Now I just need to finish my informational poster." He worked for a couple more hours then put his masterpiece into the box he had for storage.

Knowing he had to be up early, Tod turned off the desk lamp and climbed into bed.

Ryan waited about twenty minutes after he saw the light go out. Pulling out the tube of machine oil and a rag, he greased the door hinges so they would glide silently. Carefully opening the poster and picking up the model, Ryan set to work.

A dab of solvent here, move that printout there, douse the Bucky Ball in concentrated acetone. "Oh baby brother;" he wispered. "How sweet of you to use a cheap, plastic molecular modeling kit! So easy to damage with non-polar solvents!"

He softly chuckled to himself as he wiped clean the now melted and warped model. After he was satisfied with his act of espionage, Ryan snuck out of Tod's room.

The alarm on Tod's phone went off at precisely 05:30. He was too nervous to eat breakfast.

"Come on mom!" He said. "Today's very important!" Merna sipped her coffee in the kitchen. "Hold on, my quasar;" she said. "I still need to get my keys and wallet. Your brother needs to finish his eggs and toast. At least drink a glass of juice." Ryan looked up from his plate. "Now, now;" he said. "I'm sure everything will go smoothly at the fair."

Tod hardly noticed the fumes coming from his project. He was in such a rush. Even though the drive to school only took five minutes, it felt like an hour.

The attendant at the registration desk looked at his clipboard. "May I have your name?" He asked.

"Tod Spira;"

"And your entry's title?"

"Buckminister Fullerene: It's History and Properties."

"Thank you. Your station is at table six."

"Great! Thank you! "

Out of thirty tables, Tod's was one of the ones closest to the gymnasium entrance. Perfect spot, the judges would view his project early but not before having seen other exhibits for comparison. Also, this position ensured people wouldn't be burned out by the time the reached Tod.

"Hey, little brother!" Ryan called from across the way. Tod clenched his teeth as he turned around. "Ryan;" he said. "How predictable, we were in line at the same time. Of course we're in the same area!" Ryan smirked, he knew just how to rankle Tod. "Aww;" he said. "Don't get upset. I'm sure your little model will just blow the judges away!"

Trying to ignore this expected ribbing, Tod began unpacking. He openned up the box and..."Oh no!" He cried. Instead of a wonderful sphere, Tod pulled out an amorphous glob of resin. Denying that things could be so horrible, he pulled out the poster.

All the carful layout Tod had done was ruined! Anger burned his cheeks as he balled up his fists. "YOU ASSHOLE!" He screamed. "I WORKED SO HARD!" Ryan was laughing so much he couldn't speak.

Charging, Tod closed the distance between him and his sibling so fast it would've brought a cheeta to shame. Working out was neither boys' hobby so nobody was at risk for injury.

The school security guard, Mrs. Grange, seperated the combatants with little effort. "That's enough!" She yelled. "You two. Pincipals office. Now."

She escorted both boys into the sterile space that was Principle Mather's domain. After briefly explaining the incident to the balding, middle aged authority Mrs. Grange left. "Fighting will not be tolerated;" the principle stated. "The school code is clear. The penalty for the first offense is immediate suspension and removal from school grounds."

Both boys looked down, ashamed of the chaos they had caused. Their mother was very disappointed when she collected them. Fortunately, the ride home made a twenty minute lecture impossible.

When they were all in the door, familial punishment began. "Right boys." Thier mother said. "I have nothing to say. Go to your rooms until I call for you."

A couple of hours later, only one boy came downstairs. "Ryan;" mom said. "Where's your brother?" Ryan shrugged. "How should I know?" He said. "All I know is there was a lot of giggling and glass tinkling in his room."

Hurrying upsairs, Merna opened her younger son's bedroom door. Tod stared at them with an unhinged look. "I don't mind that I don't get the scholarship. " he said. "I have a new identity now. I am. Chemicalman!"

Laughing, Tod threw the test tube he'd been clutching to the floor. Thick purple smoke that smelled like dead farts boiled into the air. It was so dense that there was no visibility. Once she had stopped coughing Merna asked "where's Tod?" Mother and son looked astounded. Tod had escaped out his bedroom window. "Whoa;" Ryan said. "He went full on comic book villan!"

October 08, 2020 17:46

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3 comments

Anii ✨
22:00 Oct 14, 2020

Hey, Marian. I'm Anvi, one of your critique circle partners, and here's my review of your story: There were many things about it that were done really well, so good job on that. I enjoyed the plot of the story and the characterization, and I feel that you created quite a cool twist to the given plot. Nice! However, there are some grammatical (and other types of) mistakes. I'll put it in a list so that it's easy to understand. 1. There is a comma that isn't necessary: "Doctor Merna Spira, had discovered evidence of Dark Matter's rol...

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Marian Reiley
02:46 Oct 22, 2020

Thank you! I guess I should proof read my stories more than once before submitting them. Honestly, I was a litle lost on this piece...I had no idea how to end it.

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Anii ✨
12:08 Oct 22, 2020

Oh, that's alright! You did a great job anyway!

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