60 comments

Drama


I collapse on my old, teal couch in my dark, dim-lit home. I switch on my box TV. And it blares the news at me. The Highlights scream: β€œPeople of all ages are suddenly taken back to their worst memories and then they collapse and die. 45 cases found. No cure yet...” I switch it off hoping to get a little eye-shut. But that’s when something hit me. A-a smell. A-apple Cheddar P-pie. Mum. Mum. Make. And I was taken away.


*giggling*Β 


You run around the maple Wood table. β€œAnna, stop running around the table, otherwise Mr. Tickles might get you!!” Said Julie, Anna's mom playfully. β€œNow-Now, stop running dear let me get the pie out of the oven.” β€œOoh, I think this is gonna be the yummiest pie ever! Right Anna?” said Jayden. β€œYes, Daddy! It’s gowwa be super yummy! You squeal with delight as you see and smell the most delicious pie to be ever baked. Yay!”


β€œOkay now. Who will the biggest piece? Hmmm, let me see... You jump up and down with your dad, Jayden hoping to get picked for the biggest piece. β€œhmmm Anna!!” β€œYay you squeal and celebrate with a victory dance.”

β€œWow that tastes so good! You say, showing your mom πŸ‘Œ! It brings a warm, fuzzy smile to your mom’s face.Β You are so happy.Β 


*Whoosh*Β 


You whoosh back to reality. Gahh! Your head pains. You hear another whoosh, and your head lurches behind...



*sniffling*


β€œMommy, will grandpapa be okay? I-i want him back. I-i don’t want him to go. β€œDearie, grandpapa is in heaven, he is having lots of fun up there, he is meeting God’s! That made you feel better. You apply a forcefully smile and shut the saddening feeling down. Your dad, still in tears. Could never bear the loss. Your gramma, sitting and praying to God that he will have a good time up there.



*Whoosh*Β 


O-ow my heads paining! Oh lord!


*Whoosh*Β 



β€œHi mommy, how was your meeting?” 

β€œIt was good!”

β€œYay!” you hide your suspicion of your mom. Tired eyes, and forced smile. Somethings wrong.Β 


At nightΒ 


You hear sniffling, and slowly get up from your princessy bed. Mum and Dad are at the balcony. You shift a little closer.Β 

β€œI-i got fired, Jayden. They said that they wanted someone with more experience. What will we do? We barely have enough money to get Anna into a nice college.Β A-and the home loan...” 

β€œWe’ll manage.Β Somehow.” 

You run back to your bed and let these thoughts run around your 9-year-old brain.


*Whoosh*Β 


Help! Someone help me!


*whoosh*Β 


β€œHo-ho-ho, shouts your toy Santa, merrily.” β€œMommy, I want to have the πŸ₯§ pie now!!” 

β€œNow, now Anna, we have to wait for it to cook. And, look! Only 5 minutes left for New Year!!” Your mom's eyes, glistening with delight.

β€œOkay, rapid fire round 9f good things in the whole year! Me, then mom, then Anna, okay?”

A yea! Rose from the crowd.Β 

Hmm. Go! Um, when I got a pay raise of 800$.” 

β€œhmm When I got promoted!”

β€œWhen I got my NEW CYCLE!!!!”

β€œWhen we went to the London Eye!”

β€œWhen I met Izzie, my old bestie!”

β€œwhen we went to Jurassic Park!! RAWWR!!!” 

β€œ*sigh* that was fun!”


β€œMommy look! The countdown started!!”

β€œOh yes!”


10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...


β€œHAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!”

β€œYay!!!” 

Okay let’s eat the pie!!!Β 

Your knife digs into the sweet, delicious pie. You take it in your mouth and hear the satisfying crunch. The Cheddar rolls onto your tongue and then the Apple flavour hits. You gulp it down, begging for more...


*whoosh*


β€œWho’s doing this? Please! Stop! This is Cruel you foul being!”


*Whoosh*



*coughing loudly*Β 

Beep, beep, beep. The heart rate monitor blares. Your mom. Cancer. Hard to save. Her shining face, covered with different masks. Her bright colourful clothes changed into pale green. Her cheerful, lovely atmosphere, drowned with sadness and tension. Her, always smiling face, now held a sad, forceful smile.


*Whoosh*


Sh-should I call the ambulance? πŸš‘Β 


*Whoosh*


After a year of battling cancer. Your mom.... Dead. She died. Dead. Her last words were: My Anna, My Anna is safe and loved. That’s all I need. She baked one last pie.Β For you. Your Dad? Never recovered the loss of his dad, and his wife. He left you. In a orphanage.Β A rather cruel one, you ought to say. They beat you. They abused you.Β 


*Whoosh*


You die...



Poem which sort of matches.... Completely original.



In a world so dark and distasteful,

Β what do you expect me to beΒ ?

all I want to do to get up and fly free.


In a world so grim and cruel,

Β what do you expect me to be?

Β to be happy or drooling over a pile of money ?


As I came into the world,

My eyes closed, my body cute, curled and cold

My eyes flutter open and I see a lady with a bun,

She was nice, but to my dismay she was on the run,Β 


She dumped me in a Foster home,Β 

It was sadness in a dome,

It was depression in a vial.


We were beaten,Β we were abused.

We were ridiculed and misused.


By the age of five,Β 

We were taught to surviveΒ 

In the desert, or in the sea, in space or at the beach,


At the age of 10Β 

Β I was alone, nor friends nor family ,

For family was dead and friends had fled,


By the age of 16Β 

There was no vaccine,

Because DIVOC 91Β hitΒ 

If you had it you would go mad,Β 

Happiness would be sucked and you couldn’t even recognise your dad,

This was the baddest of the bad,

The worst of the worst.


I heard the sirens and was told to run,

But that’s when I saw the lady with the bun,

She told me she was sorry,Β 

And hopped into a trolley.


I followed here too,Β 

I heard a β€œboo" and someone jeered,

It was just as I feared,

The lady with the bun had got DIVOCΒ 

I jumped of the trolley and started to run.


As I left alone, the lady with the bun.Β 




I ran, and I ran and I found my paradise,

It was a garden, so precise.

Ahead it lay a castle,Β 

So wonderful, so beautiful,


I lay below the willow tree,

Β wondering what awaits me,

Is it good or is it bad?Β 

I’ll just let it be,

As I lay under the Willow Tree...














September 29, 2020 12:07

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60 comments

I loved the story plot and...basically everything! Great job!! Make sure to NEVER give up your amazing talent (writing) and stay safe!! :D

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#totallydeservedit!! πŸ˜„ (yes...I did that on purpose, don't ask me why...)

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Orenda .
19:24 Oct 02, 2020

yoooooo...submitted a story, surely check it out when you have time <3 <3

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Wow. The poem at the end kinda tied it all together. I’m noticing something go in these past stories that most writers come across with sometime in their writing career… writing dialogue like this: β€œ You run around the maple Wood table. β€œAnna, stop running around the table, otherwise Mr. Tickles might get you!!” Said Julie, Anna's mom playfully. β€œNow-Now, stop running dear let me get the pie out of the oven.” β€œOoh, I think this is gonna be the yummiest pie ever! Right Anna?” said Jayden. β€œYes, Daddy! It’s gowwa be super yummy! You squeal wi...

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Wolfie!! Goshhhh, thanks so much gubuvfuhfruhdajwjwiis <3333 ill definitely keep that in mind <3

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I don't know what to say. You are an amazing writer. Wow. Just.... (runs outside and screams for a whole hour) The best, you deserve a million followers!

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*explodes of happiness* :D

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Kieri Zink
03:48 Nov 28, 2020

This reminded me of Bird Box a bit because of the mysterious force causing people to get strong flashbacks and then die. I think it would be interesting as part of a collection of stories with different narrators but set in the same universe.

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Thank you so much Kieri! Will surely try to do that ! :)

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Zea Bowman
02:11 Oct 07, 2020

Hey! First of all, great story! Second, I wanted to let you know that I wrote a "Zombies Sound Safer Than My Family - Part 2." You had read the first and seemed to enjoy it, so I was just letting you know that I had made a second if you wanted to check it out. :)

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Thanks! And yesssss reading it nowwwww

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18:13 Oct 05, 2020

I love this story! It's amazing and unique!! I'll upvote you when I have time :) Keep writing Sia!

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Hey New story out! Its Fantasy!

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Tessa Takzikab
17:23 Sep 30, 2020

β€œYes, Daddy! It’s gowwa be super yummy!" Is this gowwa on purpose? or is it meant to be gonna? I saw a few other small things like that. Also, I'm a bit confused. The tv said their worst memories, but you have some good ones too. I love the idea though, a virus of sorts that triggers memories. I also really like how you made it scary and sad instead of happily nostalgic. I love the poem!!!!! It's a bit of a different story, but I'm glad you included it. Great work!

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Thanks! And yes, gowwa is on purpose, ya i didn't want to make it all sad so put some happy ones too. Thanks a lot Tessa! I really like your name!!

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Tessa Takzikab
03:04 Oct 01, 2020

Okay. Thanks! That means a lot to me, because I actually picked it. Although I like my real name better. :) You've got a pretty cool name. It means victory, right?

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Welcome! And thanks , yea, it does mean victory! In my country its actually a name of a goddess, Your name means harvester, right? I don't care what it means I love it!

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Maya W.
12:17 Oct 01, 2020

I know I'm not a part of this conversation but I love both of your names! And I know a Sia who's full name is Anastasia.

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Thanks a lot Maya! Ooh Anatasia, sounds like a goddess name !

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Oh my goodness! This was so beautiful, sad and sweet at the same time. The poem at the end was so well written, it encompassed the message of the story really well. Great job!

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Wow! Thanks a lot Esme ! Btw beautiful name!!!

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Aww thank youuu ❀

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Sorry, this is soo sad..... Tysm for reading!

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The Cold Ice
05:20 Oct 28, 2020

I like the ending As I lay under the willow tree.Keep writing.

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The Cold Ice
05:42 Oct 28, 2020

Welcome.

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Hriday Saboo
09:31 Oct 06, 2020

Hi πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ sia!, ugh weary werewolf. Cool story. Loved the poem. β€œRapid fire 9f good things”, it should be β€˜of’. Pretty cool. Rating - 9.5/10 Did Anna really die?

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Thanks! And yes, Anna did die. Okay, will change that

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Hriday Saboo
10:53 Oct 06, 2020

No problem. Okay βœ…. Perfect

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. .
22:54 Oct 05, 2020

I love the poem! The characters were likeable (especially Anna) I loved the use of words and how everything instantly flowed from the start to the end! Happy writing! -El

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12:59 Oct 02, 2020

This is a very creative idea for the prompt you chose! Your story reminded me of the movie Bird Box. (I didn't actually watch it but my mom told me the plot and stuff) I suggest removing the emojis, they don't have any meaning to them. Loved the poem at the end! The end of the peom was also great!

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Thanks a lot Akshat! Made my day!

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15:06 Oct 02, 2020

:)

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07:03 Sep 30, 2020

Ooh, nice poem a the end! I'm not a poet so I really appreciate reading other's poems. Well done, yet again! πŸ‘ I looked through your bio and - you're LEAVING?!?! NOOOO!!!!! Oh well. I understand. Life gets in the way all the time. I'll be waiting for your return, though! BTW, I LOVE this quote: "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." -Oscar Wilde It's literally the definition of who I am. πŸ˜‚ Your bday is on November 28th?? I'm on the 22nd! Let's have a shared bday party on the 25th - th...

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Ooh you write all that for me !! Awww OK. Here I go ! Thanks! And yes, life is stupid and depressing. Lol, I found it on Google. I LOVE it too! Ooh! Nice!! Yas let's have a partayyyyy What are you getting for your bday? I'm getting a nerf gunnn!!! Oh yea will edit that Yassss same!! It is so annoying!!! Especially people who be like : Good story. Read mine!! Like dude I worked hours on that!!! πŸ™„πŸ™„ Yes! Kylie's awesome!! She put me in her latest story!! And coincidentally, even BEFORE I MET HER SHE WAS COINCIDENTALLY A CHA...

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The Cold Ice
04:58 Oct 28, 2020

Hey this is a fantastic story.Keep writing. Would you mind reading my story β€œLeaf me alone.

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Yes, but it would be nice if you could provide more information about what you liked, like the others leave detailed comments. Kindly read my bio. I have written that please don't comment on my stories saying : "nice story read mine!" And this is an example.

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The Cold Ice
05:18 Oct 28, 2020

Ok.

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Wow! That was so beautiful and full of emotion! I loved it and that poem at the end really hit for me. It was really nice. I like how you switched from past to present..I also enjoyed that ending..well no I really liked how you worded the end. "Under the Willow tree" That was greeeaaat! AMAZING JOB! Keep writing! And aww you'll be inactive?? well good luck with whatever your doing and come back soon!

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Woah! Thanks again lotttt Ugochi!! A lottt

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