A cup of delicious hot chocolate, extra whip cream, and some grated white chocolate, no marshmallows though, I never take marshmallows in my hot chocolate after I chocked on one and was rushed to the hospital on Christmas morning 1967. It's one of the few funny memories I have left, or rather one of the few memories I have left, this old mind of mine hardly remembers anything anymore.

I sat on my ex-husband's recliner chair, it's the only thing he left me that I actually use, I mean what use is an old poker set and dirty socks that are so worn you'd honestly think the designer deliberately put holes in them, to an old woman like me?

The day blurred together as the light blue sky that once was the shining sky now a dark blue much like the saltire, I never noticed though until my daughter burst through the front door with her family and rushed into the living room to greet me as she drew open the curtains making me temporarily blind, bitch.

Her kids squealed in delight as they saw me and rushed over to hug me, damn youthful brats being so loud and energetic it gives me a headache, kids, in general, annoy me but I can't help but love those grandkids of mine, they have so much life left to live and successful lives I bet they'll be, even if they do fail I'll be too dead to care,

"Happy New year's eve mum! what are your new year resolutions?" New year resolutions? I haven't done them in years, I think the last one I made was four years ago when John divorced me, I think it was too stay healthy so I can live long enough to dance on his grave, well that was a resolution I managed to see through to the end.

My daughter still looked at me with big brown curious eyes (which she no doubt got from me), patiently waiting for me to answer her question, I looked around the room at my daughter, her husband and her grandkids thinking back to my time in the hospital that one Christmas, I was placed next to an elderly lady who the doctor said hadn't had any visitors since she was put in there, that new year's my resolution was to never grow old with no family, I guess that resolution worked out well for me.

I tried to think of one for this year but I couldn't think of anything, I'm an old woman with no aspiration in her life, even though I couldn't think of something I still couldn't leave my daughters' question unanswered,

"My new year resolution is...to finally finish a book!" I said jokingly as my family laughed along with me. I spent the rest of the night happily watching as the family in front of me joked, played games and fought over small things until the bells, it was a lovely sight to behold it reminds me of a very fond memory of my teenage years.

It was the 30th of December 1975, I was at the prime of my teenage years and if my memory is correct then I do recall also quite the looker but that doesn't matter, what matters was that my favorite jumper wasn't on the unit I left it on the night before and I had to get ready for a party at my boyfriends' house. I searched the house as thoroughly as my mum did when she was cleaning it but couldn't find it anywhere, it wasn't until half an hour before I was supposed to leave for the party that my sister waltzed into the house wearing my jumper.

I didn't even let her speak I just high kicked her in the face and that was the start of the fight, I can't remember the exact details but I do remember winning. My mum heard the noise and came into the living room looking livid, her face was red as the jumper she was wearing, which was also the same jumper my sister was wearing, it was at that moment I realized me and my sister had gotten the same jumper for Christmas since we both wanted it, turns out my sister was wearing her own jumper it was my mum that stole mine.

For my new year resolution, that year was to never ever use violence again and I stuck to it, never once did I raise my hand (or foot) to anyone no matter how much of a dick they were being.

It was about 1:30am before my daughter left with her husband both carrying a sleeping child each. I bid my goodbyes at the door and walked to my bedroom smiling softly as I passed every photo that hung in the corridor, each once I passed a long-forgotten memory was brought back into the light.

I made it to my bedroom and sat on my bed, I softly rested my head against the headboard and closed my eyes thinking back to all those good times I forgot, I could recall every single resolution I made, well most of them, "Maybe I should start doing them again?" I whispered to myself but hoarsely laughed off the idea, no it's too late to start doing them, I don't even have a year left in me.

A chirpy young journalist with wide brown eyes sat happily around her colleagues, laughing away and talking to anyone, even strangers, about anything and everything, until the countdown began she sat next to her new boyfriend by the name John and held his hand as she counted down to the bells as did everyone else at her works new years party, her new year resolution, to live a happy life and die without regretting anything.

Well let me tell you this much, I lived a very happy life and have no regrets. That's another new year resolution seen through to the end.

January 22, 2020 22:37

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