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Funny Holiday Romance

I never expected that…’ Mary thought to herself, ‘How odd…

Balancing the tray of home-baked cookies on her lap, she pondered the day while riding in the back seat of the Uber.

Her neighbor, Sally, asked her to watch her eight year-old son, George. They helped each other out. Today, Sally needed last minute items for her New Year’s party.

George challenged her to play some board game he’d gotten from Santa. They sat on the floor by the tree.

Games always gave Mary a chance to get to know people. The game made no difference. George excelled so Mary let him teach her.

He became serious.

“Is something wrong?”

“Mary, would you marry me?”

“What?”

“You’re so fun to be with. And you’re so beautiful. I want to marry you.”

She couldn’t respond. ‘Where had this come from? He’s a kid. What eight year old…?’

George held her gaze. Mary hoped he’d make a joke.

“You’re so kind to me. Like no one, ever. We could be happy.”

She had to say something. “George, what a wonderful surprise. I had no idea you thought that way about me.” He nodded. “But this is so sudden, you know. Let’s wait until… for a while and see how we feel. Can we do that?”

George nodded solemnly. He crawled around the game board and kissed her on the cheek.

“Why do you keep looking at the door?” he asked.

“I’m expecting a package and it’s late. Everything’s late today.”

He said, “You don’t need it to be pretty.”

Thinking about it, in the Uber, she blinked back tears. Why did this move her so? He had been so resolute. So sure. So young.

Sally returned later than promised. “Sorry, traffic…”

“It happens. I need to get to Cynthia’s party. Could you watch for the package that’s coming?”

“Of course. Give Greg a hug for me.”

“So much to do...”

George waved as she ran out the door.

Jeff, the Uber guy, looked over his shoulder.

“You okay back there?”

Mary straightened the cookie tray. “A-Okay, Captain. Cookies accounted for.”

Strictly by happenstance, Jeff had become her Uber driver. She liked having a regular… whatever.  ‘It just makes sense in this isolated world.’

“You have the address, right?”

Jeff nodded. “I’ve dropped you before.”

“Of course. You take me everywhere.”

“We could make that more permanent, you know. If you wanted.”

“Meaning?”

“If we were married, you could always ride with me.”

“Are you proposing to me?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“Uhm, Jeff. If we married, you’d lose a steady customer.”

“How’s that?”

“You mean you’d charge your wife for rides?”

“Oh… right. I thought I’d lock out the competition.”

“For some things. But…?”

“I didn’t think it through…”

“This is where I get out. Thanks.”

Jeff pulled over. She exited while he was mid-sentence. She rang Cynthia’s doorbell. Hugging herself against the cold, she pondered her day. Cynthia’s brother, Dwayne, answered.

“Come in from the cold, Sugar.”

Mary stepped into the foyer. Her tray of cookies caught his eye.  “Hi Dwayne. How’s your mother?”        

“The old biddy should be doddering about any minute. Oh, excuse my French. Should I have said ‘bat’?” Dwayne waited for the laugh.

Mary looked for Cynthia. “Have a cookie.” 

He peeked under the wax paper covering. “Oooh, scrumptious! Homemade?” Mary nodded. He gulped one down. “These are exquisite! Run away with me. Elope to Lapland and lap dance until the reindeer come home.”

Mary blinked. “Dancing Laplanders?”

“No, honey. Reindeer.”

 “Wait though, did you say ‘elope’…?”

His attention shifted and he raised his voice. “…Not ‘cantaloupe,’ Mary, reindeer.”

“What?” She turned and understood. “Excuse my lapse.”

“You remember Jonathan?”

Jonathan joined them. “Is he riffing on lap dancing Laplanders?”

Mary said, “Hi, Jonathan.”

He leaned into Dwayne and hissed, “Plagiarist.”

Dwayne said, “The nicest thing you’ve said in the last five minutes.”

“You’ve been hiding for ten.” Dwayne shrugged. Jonathan turned to Mary. “A Laplander goes into a bar. The barkeep says ‘Sorry, we only serve reindeer.’ And he says, ‘Oh, I love umbrella drinks!’”

Someone across the room laughed but not at Jonathan.

Mary looked at Dwayne’s half-empty glass. “How many…? What is that?”

“Eggnog. A very angry chicken is after me.”

Jonathan said, “Which came first, the drinkin’? Or the dregs?”

Dwayne pointed, “To get to the other side!” At which they exploded in laughter.

Cynthia came up and led Mary away. The guys were bickering over Finns and ’66 Cadillacs.

“Come on Mary, the cookies go here. Let me take your coat… Happy New Year!”

“Thanks for rescuing me.”

“Brother Dwayne testing your patience?”

“It’s been a strange day…”

“What…?

“Counting Dwayne, I’ve gotten proposed to three times today.”

“That has to be some kind of record… And Greg isn’t even here yet.”

“Cynthia, it’s been five years. Greg? Propose? Not happening.”

“Wait, did you say Dwayne?” Mary nodded. “Wow! Something’s in the air. Or the nog. And three? You need a stick.”

“Of course, none were serious, except… Oh, never mind.”

“Don’t look now…”

Mary froze. “Greg?”

Cynthia nodded. “Let him find you. He looks great, by the way. Eggnog?”

Her eyes indicated Dwayne. “Maybe later.”

Cynthia caught Greg’s eye. She hugged him when he came over.

He embraced Mary. “Sorry you had to get here on your own. Work knows no holidays.”

She smiled up at him. “It’s okay. My Uber driver proposed to me.” She turned to Cynthia and they giggled.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No. Well, it’s funny. But it happened.” Greg’s mouth gaped in silence. This made the women laugh even more. Mary nudged him. “Don’t worry, love. You’re invited.”

Cynthia dabbed her eyes. “Mary, stop! My make-up!”

“He gave me a really good tip, though…” Their laughter increased.

Greg pulled Mary close. “We need to talk. Follow me. Excuse us, Cyn…”

He guided her toward the back patio. The fire pit burned brightly.

“No, Greg. It’s cold out.”

“We’ll stand by the fire. Just for a minute.”

They went out. Greg held her tight. The flames danced but offering little heat. The lights of the city spread before them.

“I’m cold.”

“Mary, I’ll make this quick.” Trying not to shiver, she looked at him.

“I’ve been thinking. About us. We’ve gone out, pretty steadily for… four… or…”

“Five.”

“Five years now. Right…”

“I’m cold, Greg. What?”

“Well, I think it’s about time… we… Don’t you think… we?”

“I’m freezing.” She pulled away. “I can’t do this.”

“Wait, Mary. Marry me.”

“I’m going in.” She walked inside.

Mary found Cynthia and apologized for leaving early. “I’ll call tomorrow.” She got her coat and left without speaking to anyone. The Uber driver pulled up almost immediately. She silently thanked God Jeff wasn’t the driver.

No one spoke. Tears streamed down her cheeks. The driver found her duplex and pulled up behind a van. She thanked him, tipped him and got out.

As she went up the walk, she heard a voice calling her.

“Mary...!” He looked at the address on the package. “Are you Mary?”

“Who wants to know?”

“I’m sorry I’m late delivering this, Mary. I thought… Then I…” He gave up. “Look. I have no excuse. None. Please forgive me.”

“What? My package?” He held it out to her. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.” She turned away.

“Please take it though. You waited… It’s my fault.”

“I don’t need it. I don’t blame you.”

“You’re very kind.” She waited. “I hope you don’t mind my saying… I’m sure it’s a pretty whatever, but you don’t need this to be pretty. You are gorgeous.”

She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘Don’t take it out on this stranger.’

He continued, “The way you look right now, if I asked you to marry me, you could laugh in my face. Take me for a fool. And that would be that.”

She didn’t move.  

“I can see you’re kind and wouldn’t. But if we gave it a while, maybe we would see how we feel about each other, you know, over time?”

Mary couldn’t believe this. She bit her lip.

He smiled. “Could we try that?”

She mustered a breathless, “Okay…”

Their gaze held. Neither spoke. Her hair shone in the moon-light. The trees glimmered like stars.

“You must be cold. I won’t keep you.”

She realized she felt warm. “You’re right. I should go.”

“Don’t forget this…” He looked at the package. “Mary…”

“And you are?”

“I’m George. I deliver.”

She caught her breath. “Okay... Glad to make your acquaintance, George.” She took the package. “I’m in the book.”

She went to her apartment. The door closed and she leaned against it.

Smiling through tears, she said, “George…”

December 23, 2020 03:04

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4 comments

Amber Medina
22:32 Dec 30, 2020

Cute story. It was a little busy and I did get a little lost, but that's probably just my ADHD. It was cute though. I liked the ending.

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John K Adams
20:07 Dec 31, 2020

Thanks for reading and for your comments. I'll try to clarify the dialogue a bit.

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Definitely a creative title!!! The dialogue is overflowing here, but I guess it's necessary for this take! Great ending!

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John K Adams
18:28 Dec 29, 2020

Thank you for your comments! I'm glad the story worked for you.

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