Horror Suspense Thriller

This story contains themes or mentions of mental health issues.

"I can see it now," I say to myself. It was pitch black, but the light above me started to flicker in a dark room with padded walls, silence in the black night. Screams of the mind fill the halls, and squealing metal burns the eardrums. I was wrapped up in a stray and let out of the room. Traveling endlessly into the aisles filled with terror and disease. I looked in the corner; at the end of the hall was a person crunched over in a ball; they stood out from the rest, not wearing a gown. I started to get closer, and they lifted their heads to turn and scream in my face. I began to pace backward and tried to look away; their eyes filled my mind with endless sorrow. Turning back around, I rush to the other end of the hall, and they walk behind. Making a left, then a right, then another left, then another right. Stomping down the stairs, making way into the bottom floor, complete silence. The halls were filled not long ago. Walking down Hall 1, everything was neat, clean, like it was renovated. Hall 2 a traumatizing scene, blood-splattered, wheelchairs broken, and walls torn from the edges. Hall 3, nothing. The space that was once filled was just gone.

Trembling into the void, I felt cold, moist air. Black in every corner of the universe. The main hall was still behind, about 2 feet away. The person from earlier walked out of the staircase and stood in front of hall 3. Looking into the void. In a split instant, they rush forward, almost as if they were flying. Arms out, mouth open wide, with teeth of millions. Then… silence. Open eyes, and see nothing, but the environment changed. Back in the original room from earlier, but no gown. Looked around to see wires and candles. Then the past hits.

I get up, grab the wires, and walk out the door. Soon as I do, a voice from behind me whispers, "Did you have fun?". I turn around and see the person from earlier. I was carrying a case file; I opened it up to a page of me. What does this mean? Am I dreaming? I rush out of the room and down the hallway. I see the person standing there with their hair raised and screaming at a high volume. The windows and walls cracked and broke. I run down the stairs into the main hall. I rush towards the front door; I see them standing there, holding hands with a child. It looked like me when I was 5. I stood there in silence, trying to get my mind in check, then both their eyes went wide, and both howled at me. I rush out the front door. I hesitate and turn back around on the front steps. I see a mob of people, Red, blue, and black eyes, all standing there, howling. I rush to my car and get out of there. I was only in there for 30 minutes; it was still bright daylight. Only went in to see what happened to my sister. I may have to revisit again. I turn back around and park again. I stand in front of the door and say, "What is it?". No response. Just standing there, wide-eyed and mouth howling. I saw a rock on the ground, I picked it up to throw out the window, but when I got back up, it was my sister.

Long ago, she was put in the asylum for mental correction; the doctors said she had a baby tumor inside her stomach. They tried to treat it, but nothing worked. In fact, the cancer kept getting bigger and bigger; eventually, they figured out it was a baby. My sister freaked out and went rancid; they locked her in a room, padded. They kept the baby under watch. They thought my sister was the devil and hid her out of sight. Priests come in every so often to perform blessings, but nothing seemed practical. The doctors never checked on her, but they heard her scream every day and night. Until one day, the screams stopped. They checked on her and saw that she had died from losing everything. Something was off. Her body had no bones nor organs, just a pile of flesh. They burned her corpse and kept the baby locked in the same room. The baby grew for 5 years, with little to no food and water. No sympathy for the lonely orphan.

Only one nurse was sympathetic to give, Nurse Reed. She took somewhat care of her. No nurse nor doctor wanted to be a part of the girls' life, but Nurse Reed thought otherwise. Nurse Reed gave the girl a name, Emily. She liked it. But one day, a doctor found Emily's door open. He tried to run for help, but Emily was standing behind him; she mauled him alive. Emily went rancid, just like her mother. She killed every person she saw until she got to Nurse Reed. The only person who ever cared a little for her. Emily ran past Reed, and she escaped. Eventually, 2 days after the incident, Emily's body was found in her room, yet again, with no bones or organs, just flesh. The building closed down for good. The state wanted it to rot where it stood.

Snapping back to reality, a cop car pulls up. He steps out of the car and screams, "This place is off-limits. What are you doing here?". I rushed to him and addressed the mob of patients at the door; he didn't see them. He wanted to test me for a drug test; apparently, I had an apparent 1.5 mg/L in my blood. He immediately puts handcuffs on me in tosses me in the car. I don't remember taking any kind of drug until it popped. I celebrated last night with my friends at a bar; someone must've slipped me up. I look into the front door and see my sister, drops of blood, guts, and all, standing there, smiling.

June 28, 2022 21:57

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Brian Bywater
21:26 Jul 07, 2022

I was constantly distracted by the mix of tenses. "I can see it now is present" however the author immediately drops into the past yet returns to the present at the conclusion. Referring to a single person as 'they' needs to be addressed as does the punctuation. If the author does not have English as their first language this may account for some sentences being difficult to understand. Don't worry too much, we have all been through the learning process. Basically we still are.


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Nancy Richy
23:39 Jul 06, 2022

My first thought about this story is English is a second language to the author. The premise was a good one but I was distracted by the over-use of semicolons within paragraphs. Also some of the sentences were incomplete. I think the author created a very interesting story line and did a good job getting the point across. I simply got hung up on the errors in punctuation and the sentence structure.


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