Breathes

“Sorry I’m late, mad day at work, I only just got on the 65…. the bloody driver tried to close the doors on me. But you know me, I stuck my arm in between those two closing doors and said ‘not today, driver’. He looked pretty startled thinking about it actually… obviously hasn’t been a bus driver for long if that shocked him…do you remember that time that we were on that bus, where was it… Ealing? No, No we were on the night bus home from Oxford Circus, do you remember? Oh we were howling when that little man took one step, tripped up and his whole kebab slid down the driver’s window. Oh dear dear dear. Anyway, look at me jabbering on. Let me hang up my coat and pull up a seat….Right, that’s it, there we go, Oof! It’s nice to sit down. So, how have you been? ”

*Breathes*

“That good aye?”

*Breathes*

“Oh, before I forget, Tina says hi. She says sorry she couldn’t get down last Wednesday – but its hard with all the kids. I think she’s barely sleeping at the moment. She needs more help, I keep saying it, but she just wont listen. You could talk some sense in to her you know, oh I know you could!"

*Breathes*

"So, where did I get to last time. Let me think, I think I was up to the bowling alley."

*Breathes*

“So, ooh let me have a sip of my tea first. Ahh. There’s nothing like a good cuppa Yorkshire’s finest is there? So, where was I, Yes, that’s it. Laura was feeling shy, she’d never gone on a date before, believe it or not, but as soon as she walked in and saw Gerry standing there in his teddy coat and those grey trousers with the seam down the front, she knew she has made the right decision. Oh, let me tell you! That Gerry, oh he was a handsome man, tall, dark brown hair with a little kiss curl that always hung loose on his forehead and impeccable style. Do you know the first thing he said to her? Oh it’ll make you laugh! He said ‘which one of my balls do you want then?’”

*Breathes*

“Oh, you may laugh now, but he went crimson, oh the colour of a bloody tomato once he realised what he said. But Laura didn’t shy away from crudeness. She said, ‘Which ever one drops first’. That was the ice breaker they needed; you know. The chatting didn’t stop after that, I don’t think they took their eyes off one another. We’ll apart from when they were trying to get a strike of course.”

*Breathes*

“okay, so you know Stephen’s lad, Jimmy – well he bowls over – oh pardon the pun, he bowls over bold as bloody brass I tell you. He squeezes Laura’s arm and says, ‘You got something for me?’ and grabs her right on the bum! Yes, I bet you’re shocked! She was and all! Well, Gerry takes one look at him, and punches him square in the face. He fell to the floor! One punch! Oh, you should have heard the cheers! He turned to Laura and said ‘I’ve never done that before, my hand is in agony’ – Laura was startled, she turned to him and said, she said ‘Yeah it looked like his face hit your fist pretty hard!’’

*Breathes.*

“Oh, they laughed!”

*breathes*

“Anyway, they scarpered out of there. In fact, so fast they forgot to change out of their bowling shoes! It was raining absolute cats and dogs and they were slipping and sliding all over the shop in those ridiculous red and blue pumps! Youth, aye?”

*Breathes*

 They hadn’t been walking down the road five minutes when, oh you’ll like this bit.”

*Breathes*

 “He get’s down on one knee! On one knee! He gets down on the soaking tarmac and says, ‘will you marry me!”

*Breathes*

“Unbelievable isn’t it!”

*breathes*

“Bumping into each other whilst waiting at the bus stop, and one date down the bowling alley and he proposes. She was shocked. He said ‘I could of done it at the bus stop when you looked up at my with those green eyes to tell me I’d just stepped in dog muck.’”

*breathes*

“Charming! yeah, that’s right in his proposal he starts talking about dog muck! That’s classic Gerry though, always saying the right thing, in the wrong way! That’s what she loved most about him as he stood there dripping from head to toe. Do you know what she said?”

*Breathes*

“She took one look at those hopeful eyes and said, ‘What they hell, OK, Yes!’. Oh, he picked her up in his arms, they were twirling for what felt like hours!”

*Breathes*

“Madmen! The both of them!”

“Excuse me madam, but it’s 5pm I’m afraid the visitor’s time slot is finishing.”

“Oh, look at the time, you’re right! Thankyou dear I best be off. Look at me jabbering away! Oh actually I have a question. Oh, where did he go? Oh well."

*Breathes*

“Ok, you heard the man, I best be off. You know what the dog gets like if I’m not home by seven anyway. I’ll be here tomorrow though, 5:30 sharp, nothing’ll stop me, not even that bloomin' grumpy bus driver.”

*Breathes*

“Sleep well tonight and I hope to see you sitting up in that bed, eyes open tomorrow please!”

*Breathes*

“Now where’s that lovely, oh there she is – Geraldine! Geraldine! Hiya, love.”

“Hello Mrs Penton, how are you today.?”

“Good, Good, Now I’m not here Saturday cos of the grandkids and all, but you ring me anytime day or night if he –"

“- I will, I will, I promise Mrs Penton.”

“Ok good. Now, how’s your baby, she doing well?"

“She’s two years old now! She’s a little monster, I tell you.”

“Two! Well I never, I remember you brining her in when she was nine months old! Tempus fugits as they say! Right, I must be off.”

“Mrs Penton?”

“Call me Laura sweetheart.”

“Laura, sorry. We might have to move Gerry to another ward next week.”

“Ok, well, wait for me, I’d like to hold his hand so he knows I’m coming with him.”

“Of course. Don’t worry Mrs Pen-, Laura I promise I’ll call you if he wakes up.”

“You do that. Tarrah, love.”