PreFlight

Submitted into Contest #74 in response to: Write a story that takes place across ten seconds.... view prompt

5 comments

Adventure

Sitting at the gate he noticed the time to start boarding had come and gone. Not hearing any announcement as to why for the cause of the delay, he stood walking towards the desk to ask the agents the status of his flight.


           While in line to ask his question to the agent, he noticed that a person stood across the concourse at the coffee shop holding a cup of brew intently fixated on observing an individual in the gate area who was seated one row over from where he was sitting.


           As he approached the agent standing behind the counter at the gate position, he noticed the person, a male, that was standing, watching, sipping on coffee, had moved to another position as to gain a better view of the person, a male, he was watching.


           Asking the female agent for an update on the flight, she began by saying, “that the aircraft making up this flight had arrived about 30 minutes late. Given the time necessary for the inbound passengers to disembark the aircraft, as well as providing special assistance for those passengers needing extra time along with the fact that there was a change in the crew set to do the outbound flight and now aircraft maintenance has been called out to check on a “CHECK ENGINE” light warning, that boarding will not commence until such time as when all preflight protocols have been completed and the new flight crew has given the word to board the flight.”


           Turning, making his way back over to where he was sitting, he again noticed the same gentleman had moved from his coffee shop position to one standing next to the window at the gate. Seeing this constant change in position by this individual began to cause him some concern. Not knowing if this person knew the other, he felt it best to remain quiet but vigilant on this man’s activities.


           Looking at the person of interest, he observed that he apparently had noticed the actions of this same person’s attention of him which caused him some concern as well and made him uneasy. Having his smartphone in his hand, he observed that this man had sent a text message or email to the party to whom he was communicating.


           Suddenly without cause or provocation, the male standing next to the window jumped over the row of chairs landing on top of the person whom he was so intently watching. This of course caused a chain reaction of events to begin.


           First and almost immediately was the action of the person receiving the interruption. He immediately began whaling away on this person that caused this disruption. Second, was the action of the intruder. He likewise began his fisting on the person of his interest. The other passengers in the gate area who were waiting patiently to board the flight also became distraught and began shuffling around to avoid the altercation that had just occurred.


           The incident also caused the agents at the desk working the flight to go into action and take immediate steps. First, was the call to security requesting an immediate presence at the gate. Second, was the actions of the other agents at the gate assisting the other passengers away from the immediate area surrounding these two individuals. Third, was the actions of the other passengers passing by in the concourse heading towards their gate of departure. Stopping and watching the festivities taking place in this gate area. Then out of the blue, one of the agents at the desk called for the boarding of the flight. To which, no one moved towards the door to board the flight. Rather, they just stood and watch the actions of these two men.


           Not wanting to be caught up in the flood of passengers who would be rushing to board the flight, he gathered up his personal belongings and approached the boarding position. Seeing that there was no one in line in front of him, he approached the boarding agent handing her his boarding card who in turn placed it under the light of the gate scanner that immediately went from white to green indicating his boarding was approved.


           Walking through the gate boarding door he proceeded down the jet-bridge to board the aircraft. Seeing there was no one in line waiting to board the aircraft, he knew he could gain entrance into the aircraft without any delay or hesitation.


           Entering the aircraft through the forward passenger door, he was greeted by two smiling flight attendants who instantaneously and in unison welcomed him aboard. Showing the one in front his boarding card, she immediately motioned him in the direction of his awaiting seat.


           Passing through the First-Class section he entered the main cabin of the aircraft and eventually arrived at his point of destination 23B, an aisle seat. Pausing, looking forward then aft, he smiled. Opening the overhead compartment, he realized that there were no other bags in any of the other overhead compartments in any other position on the aircraft. Smiling again to himself, he retrieved his tablet from his duffel bag, zipped it closed, removed his Sports Jacket then placed his duffel in the overhead and neatly folded his jacket laying it on top of his bag.


           Taking his seat in 23B, he placed his tablet in the seat pocket of the seat in front him. Removing his ear buds from his pants pocket, he looked up gaining the attention of one of the cabin flight attendants. Arriving at his position, she leaned down and asked him, “Yes sir? How may I help you?” Looking up, smiling and with a nonchalant response to her inquiry, he asked, “When do you think the flight will be departing the gate?”


The flight attendant stood looking at this man who had just came from the gate area where all the action was currently taking place and with some level of sarcasm looked and answered the gentleman, "Sir, we should be departing as quickly as possible but given the fact there is some sort of activity taking place within the gate, I feel our departure will only be as brief as it needs to be." Accepting her answer he sat back.





December 29, 2020 21:30

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5 comments

Gary St John
18:58 Jan 08, 2021

I thank everyone for their comments. I am new to this so I ask forgiveness. As I stated, this is part of a larger storyline that I am currently working on and maybe it would make more sense when it is intertwined with the rest of the plot. This was a spur of the moment thought that given my background I expanded on and then decided it could be included but be assured before my story is completed I will edit a thousand times before it is submitted for any considerations. Thank you!

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Mollin Luxeder
00:53 Jan 08, 2021

This story was intriguing! However, I found it a bit wordy, and that distracted from the storyline. I think more detailed descriptions of the characters and simpler descriptions of the plot would help to balance the story.

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Mollin Luxeder
00:53 Jan 08, 2021

This story was intriguing! However, I found it a bit wordy, and that distracted from the storyline. I think more detailed descriptions of the characters and simpler descriptions of the plot would help to balance the story.

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Ally Clark
22:27 Jan 06, 2021

Hi Gary, I read your story as part of this week’s critique circle. Upon reading your comment that this is part of a larger story it more sense overall and I see how this could be an interesting incident near the beginning of the character’s journey. When reading it I noticed that there is repitition through the story, for example how he ‘noticed’ the time and the man twice initially and how he saw the ‘male’ watching another ‘male.’ I think introducing some additional variety and description could improve the flow, like if he initially notic...

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Gary St John
00:00 Dec 30, 2020

This is a portion of a story I am currently writing. The story involves issues surrounding the main character and the loss of his job. Traveling to spend time with a friend he meets a female and establishes a relationship but not knowing being aware of her affiliations with characters of a savory nature. The fun begins.

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