Eyes slowly blink open only to be met with nothing.  Darkness and shadows are the only thing visible.  A feeling of emptiness creeps into the depths of the stomach.  There is nothing.  Not one thing moves.  The blackness is infinite.  There is nothing beyond the dark veils that the shadows have created.  The air is still.  Too still.  It hangs heavily in the air as thick as water.  Air that is so heavy it causes deep breaths to be drawn, yet nothing changes.  There is no sound in this void.  Just emptiness.  No matter how quick the breaths are nothing is heard.  This world is empty.  Full of nothingness.  Everything is still.  Even walking forward does nothing to break the void.  The movements that normally come with walking are gone.  Instead it leaves in its place a question.  A question of if movement even happened in the first place.  This emptiness sinks deep into the soul.  It sinks into the heart clenching at it and making it become part of the void.  The mind begins to empty of all thought.  Becoming unaware of anything.  It becomes the void.  Becomes nothing.  Leaving only a feeling of numbness.  

Pain erupts through the ear as a small sound breaks the emptiness.  All at once the numbness is gone leaving only pain.  Pain that causes hands to clutch the stomach and double over.  Pain that is nothing compared to the intense white hot agony that grips the mind and soul.  It causes the hands to shift to the head and another to the chest.  Thoughts.  Millions of them erupt in the mind.  How long have I stood here?  Where am I?  How do I get out of this void?  How do I escape?  These thoughts bombard the head.  The longer spent thinking the more the pain spikes.  The knees give out and pain explodes in the hands and knees as they hit the ground.  A whisper pierces the silence of the void.  The head snaps up, eyes searching.  The whisper pieces the deafening silence again.  This time the sound is more than an useless jumble, “What brings you here.”

Spinning in search for the owner of the whisper, words that previously had not broken the silence now do.  “Who are you?  Where am I?” The words seemed to echo in the head, but not in the void around.  The darkness seems to press closer in and the void suppresses the shiver that runs up the spine.  Cold.  When did it become so cold?  Goosebumps rise up from the skin as another shiver racks the body.  The sound of laughter fills the void.  No it does not fill the void it is the void.

“You can answer all those questions yourself.”

Confusion creeps into the soul.  The questions previously asked have not been answered.  They do not seem to have answers.  The mind is giving no answers to the questions swirling inside.  Nothing is coming from this.  This place is empty.  It has no purpose.  There is no reason to be here.  Nothing to do in this void.  What is the point of being here?  If nothing has a reason.  The darkness surges forward gripping at the throat and pinning it in its hands.  Warmth blooms around the ear as the shadows whisper, “You right to question your very existence.” 

The whisper only leaves more questions unanswered.  The temperature in the void drops more and hands come up to wrap around the stomach.  Hugging in an attempt to stay warm.  Eyes full of fear sweep the void once more.   There is no exit.  No way out.  Desperation curls up in the stomach and fear clenches at the heart.  A scream of frustration leaves the mouth before feet are pounding on the ground.  Breaths falling heavily into the soundless void.  Nothing changes.  In the mind the legs are moving.  They are running, but the void says nothing is moving.  The void is silent.  To feel movement, but to see nothing causes a sense of hopelessness to fill the soul.  In the mind the legs stop moving and the breathing slows.  Frustration causes screaming in the mind at the voice, “What am I doing here?”

The whisper does not return.  It does not laugh nor make a sound.  Only the void remains.  Taking away all meaning and hope.  Time has no meaning in the void.  Has it been minutes, hours, days?  Nothing changes.  The only thing here is the void.  The darkness and the cold pressing in from all sides.  A deep sense of sadness fills the soul.   Tears stream down the cheeks and the void covering the sound of choked sobs.  A slight breeze pushes through the void and hits the wet cheeks.  Drying them.  “The truth will set you free.”

What is the truth?  Is it being stuck in a void?  Or is it in the mind?  Truth has no meaning in this void.  Nothing has any meaning here.  Everything is pointless.  There is no truth.  There are no morals in this void.  Life is meaningless.

“This is what your life has become.  You have no purpose.  No reason to live.  Nothing that makes you have a reason for being here,” a whisper interrupted the thoughts.

Opening the mouth for the first time an actual voice echoes into the void, “Then what is my purpose.  What is the point of being alive”  

“You have to make a purpose for yourself.  Make a reason for being alive.  Even if it is just a whisper.”

Spinning in frustration and shouting into the void, “How do I do that!”

A whispered chuckle is the only reply.  A feeling of despair now fills the soul and the knees give out once again.  A choked sob echoes in the void, before realization pierces the soul.  The answer is already here.  The truth.  Another chuckle fills the silence as the void begins to disappear.  A dizzying feeling overtakes the mind.  The darkness leans forward with a grin and it speaks in a soft voice, “Can you keep a secret?”

August 21, 2020 23:33

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