Greek Philosophers Help Launch New Venture

Submitted into Contest #123 in response to: Begin or end your story with “Well, that was dramatic.”... view prompt

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Fiction Funny Romance

A discussion at a dinner table ten years ago with my then girlfriend Charlotte and her father Jack changed my life. My ability to think on my feet was being tested that night. Luckily, I had ample support from the Greek philosophers in this contest and passed with flying colors. You need to know that I was an assistant professor of ancient philosophy at that time and teaching a course on this topic for undergraduates. I had met Charlotte when she signed up for my course during her senior year, perhaps on a whim. She seated herself in the front row, directly in front of my lectern, on the first day of class. 


When she spoke in class, it was with a soft, rhapsodic, Texas drawl. Her hair hung down to her shoulders, falling in soft curls. Drop dead gorgeous. She approached me after class from time to time with questions and seemed to linger but I was not sure how to interpret this. She was not exactly the type of woman that an academic nerd like myself would ever hope to gain favor with. I longed to get to get to know her better. However, a major bureaucratic hurdle presented itself as I planned my next moves to gain favor with Charlotte.


Personal relationships between students and undergraduates were considered to be verboten by the University and grounds for dismissal. I urgently needed to convey to her that I was interested in a relationship with her after the course ended and when she was no longer an undergraduate. Uncharacteristically for me and during one of her after class visits to my office (and with the door open), I told her that I would be delivering a lecture two months hence after she graduated.


I suggested that we might meet at a local wine bar afterwards to discuss some of the finer points of my presentation, keeping my intentions on a high academic plane. She accepted my invitation with a broad smile and said that she would put the date in her calendar. I was truly ecstatic and began counting the days until I would be able to see her again.


***


When the day of my lecture arrived, we met in the lecture hall following my talk. It turns out that she had a serious, intellectual, and analytical side. Dare I refer to her as the “complete package” although this seems condescending in the light of today’s social conventions. We shared many common interests and began to see each other much more frequently during the ensuing months. Following our whirlwind courtship (this also sounds dated in today’s vocabulary), we moved in together in a small apartment on campus. As to her future academic plans, she was accepted to the business school at my university in the pursuit of an MBA so our relationship was on solid ground, both geographically and emotionally. At least for the short term.


I had not yet met her father who lived in Texas. He was a widower, having lost his wife several years earlier. Charlotte told me one day at breakfast that she thought it was now appropriate for me to meet him and, at her invitation, he was flying to town in one week to dine with us. Curiously, we had had almost no conversations about him before that time which I found unusual but decided not to press the issue. I was also pleased at this new and apparent deepening of our relationship.


“Tell me something about your Dad,” I asked, seeking to flesh out my impression of him and prepare myself for a good showing at dinner.


“I’ll let you make up your own mind after you meet him,” she responded somewhat evasively but playfully.


“What does he do for a living?” I asked. 


“He owns a large cattle ranch that has been in the family for generations,” she replied. Her response suggested that she did not want to provide more details so I decided not to press the matter farther. I bided my time.


*****


The evening of our dinner arrived and we were seated at a table in a restaurant when Jack strode into the room. Some of the diners around us put down their utensils to stare. This was the Midwest after all and he was not dressed like a local. He was sporting pure Texas attire with a cattleman’s hat, tailored deerskin jacket, and tooled leather boots.


“Greetings to you, young man, and also to my darlin’ daughter Charlotte,” he said as sat down, beckoning to the waitress. “Bring me a double bourbon with branch. If you deliver it to me in less than five minutes, you will be able to retire on my tip.”


He rotated in his seat and gave me the once-over. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. My daughter seems to have developed special feelings for you despite the fact that you don’t hail from Texas and seem to be eking out only a meager living. However, no one is perfect and I will concede that you may have some redeeming qualities that may become more obvious during the evening.”


Charlotte seemed to be enjoying herself thoroughly with our little tête-à-tête, sitting back and watching intently. It also occurred to me she may have seen this “show” before but was not sure how it would end. I myself had anticipated some verbal theatrics before the start of the evening but was not exactly sure about the rules of the game. I was reacting viscerally and intellectually and hoping for the best outcome, which was Charlotte.


“Well, kids, I think that it’s time perhaps to follow our drinks with some chow,” Jack said as he motioned for the waitress to come over. “Miss, I would like for you to throw onto your grill the largest steak you have in the kitchen. Bring it out to me bloody — I don’t want to see any part of the plate showing through the beef.”


“I believe that my daughter and her friend are vegetarians so please collect any random weeds that you may find in the lot behind the restaurant to serve to them. You might also fry up a few slices of tempeh on the side to add some color and excitement to their meal. After the food was brought, the three of us ate leisurely, pushing away from the table after dessert. By this time, we were all relaxed, waiting for the next chapter of the evening to unfold. Was I going home alone or accompanied by Charlotte? I was on edge.


***


Jack pushed away from the table and turned to speak to me directly. “I have a business problem that might interest you. I am curious whether the wisdom of your Greek philosophers can provide some deeper insights about a possible solution. Do you want to give it a shot? If you help me solve my problem, I will be eternally grateful.”


“Let’s give it a try, Jack. You have my rapt attention.” My voice was beginning to quiver in what I now understood to be a high stakes poker game with Charlotte as the prize instead of a pile of chips. I know this seems crass but that was my reading of the situation. He had my rapt attention.


“OK. I have a very large cattle ranch in central Texas. The operation is only marginally profitable but it’s the only business I know. What’s killing me now is my veterinary bills. What with cattle pregnancies, ultrasounds, semen testing, and carcass ultrasound imaging, most of my profits are being eaten up by the vet bills. The vets are good, hard-working people but they spend half their time just driving to my cattle which are scattered to hell and beyond. What would your Greek philosophers say about how to manage the high cost of semen analysis on a cattle ranch in Texas?”


I began to speak spontaneously. “What first comes to my mind, Jack, is a saying of Heraclitus that may provide some insights. Whenever possible, take a solution to a problem and not vice versa. “ I would therefore suggest the following. Buy a half-dozen used steel shipping containers. Retrofit them as veterinary labs, imaging centers, and the offices that you will need for your vets to attend to your livestock in-situ. Lease a couple of heavy-duty helicopters and fly these retrofitted containers and your vets to your cattle when they need care. The travel time for your vets will be reduced to near zero.”


There was a slight glint of interest in Jack’s eye as he began to ponder my suggestion. He seemed interested in my plan despite the fact that I had no understanding of its feasibility.


“Where exactly do I find the vets to staff these containers retrofitted as mobile offices and labs?”


“Theocritus has an answer for this one. Milk the cow that is nearby. Why chase the one that runs away? Purchase several of the large animal veterinary practices in your neck of the woods to provide the expertise that you will need. The vets will be your employees.”


“Even if I buy these practices, how am I going to keep the vets satisfied with their remote practice locations and accompanying life disruptions?” Jack responded. “They are an independent lot.” 


“Simple! Offer them salaries 30% over what they are now earning. Schedule them for four 12-hour shifts per week in the containerized office and labs and fly them back home with your helicopters when their work week is over. They will have much higher salaries and three days off per week which hopefully will be appealing. You are going to get about a 40% increase in productivity from them because there will be nothing else for them to do when they are working remotely. 


“But will they tolerate this new work lifestyle?”


“I think that the higher salary will win them over. I forgot to mention that you will offer all of them equity in the new company that you will be creating.”


“What new company?” Jack asked.


“The new company that you will be launching that could be called FlyingVets. You are going to need at least $20 million up front to launch it. Venture capital firms in Austin will be lining up at your door waving money as soon as you pitch to them what you are planning. Tell them that your new business will revolutionize, consolidate, and simplify large animal veterinary practice in the state. They will quickly respond to this idea because you will be providing a better and more efficient way to provide such services.”


Jack looked somewhat dazed but definitely seemed interested in the plan that I had proposed, inspired by the Greek philosophers. He dropped us off at our apartment and bid us good night.


As we were chatting before bedtime that night, Charlotte said to me: “Wow! I think you got his attention. But where did all of this ‘flying vets’ shit come from?”


“I have no idea,” I said, “but I think that Jack may now want to throw my idea against the barn door when he gets home to see if it sticks. Oh, do they have barns in Texas? At the very least, the idea may distract him and perhaps he won’t be bothering us for a while. As always, Charlotte, you were my inspiration.”


*****


Time marched on. About two uneventful years later, we received an urgent call from Jack. He had big news. He had started a new company called FlyingVets funded by venture capital money from Austin. It was an almost instant success and he now employed about 50 vets. As predicted, his vet bills had been reduced substantially but his cattle business was only breaking even. However, he didn’t care because of the impending IPO for his new company. He was poised to make a lot of money based on the anticipated rising stock price.

 

He said the following: “I have decided to offer you the position of CEO of FlyingVets,” he said. “I know you have never run a company in your whole life but this deal was launched by your suggestions so I would like for you to give the top position a shot.”


I considered his proposal for a few seconds and then said: “Sure. I will give it a try.” I had come to understand that I was getting a little bored by the languid pace of my academic life and was willing to try something different and more exciting. 


That same night, I asked Charlotte to be my wife. As a prelude to my proposal. I quoted Socrates: By all means, get married: if you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. It had then become clear that teaching philosophy would no longer be my main line of work and I had found a good life partner as well as a new job.


She replied, “Well, that was dramatic — a marriage proposal but one that seemed to be somewhat lacking in romantic notes. However, I do accept you as my husband. But, going forward, let’s also try to avoid your shtick of using the aphorisms of philosophers as a cover for your own ideas. This approach has taken us to where we want to be but has also become irritating. Besides, it’s all been Greek to me.”


December 07, 2021 19:17

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10 comments

J Sagar
05:50 Apr 23, 2022

Great story. Had fun reading Jack's unique style of communicating in particular. Thanks!

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Rob Ryter
18:06 Dec 12, 2021

Very well told. Enjoyed the philosophy references. Loved the random weeds for the veggies.

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Bruce Friedman
18:14 Dec 12, 2021

Thanks for your input. It sounds like a slam on vegetarianism but this, obviously, was solely the voice of the father. Were you bothered by the overplay of his Texan profile?

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Rob Ryter
19:13 Dec 12, 2021

Not at all. Larger-than-life characters are important.

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Bruce Friedman
20:28 Dec 12, 2021

Good phrase— larger than life. I was trying not to lapse into stereotypes but I found the father’s character amusing as I wrote it so I persisted.

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Palak Shah
16:04 Dec 12, 2021

This was such a clever story and the philosophy was wonderfully incorporated. Well done Could you please read my latest story if possible? :)) Thanks :))

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Bruce Friedman
18:24 Dec 12, 2021

Your story, Palak, was a fascinating depiction of the inner thoughts of a person with schizophrenia. You use a rich vocabulary. I found myself a little untethered at the beginning in the flow of consciousness that was resolved when your protagonist arrived at the hospital.

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Palak Shah
21:23 Dec 13, 2021

Thank you so much Bruce I really appreciate it :))

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Jon Casper
23:12 Dec 09, 2021

Man I would have needed to change my underwear after that first meeting with Jack. This was so clever how you wove philosophy into such practical business matters! I couldn't wait to find out how the story ended. Great work!

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Bruce Friedman
23:41 Dec 09, 2021

Thanks Jon for your generous comment. I was concerned about overdoing Jack’s character. But it was much fun to write I couldn’t back off.

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