Zamora Part 2: Sinking Submarine

Submitted into Contest #58 in response to: Write a story where the power goes out on a spaceship or submarine.... view prompt

46 comments

Adventure Fantasy

Author's Note: This story won't really make a ton of sense on its own so I recommend reading Part 1 before! Enjoy (Sorry this took a long time)


The egg yolk sun poured through the cracks in the blind and awaited entrance into my eyes. The sight still in the clutches of the night's glue, I hesitantly rub the dreams away. Thoughts of the visions in sleep come and go in waves, clinging on to the very last memory of the night but with little success.

Then I realize what’s today.

I jump off my bed as if sleeping had become a dangerous thing. My heart beats fast and there is a buzzing in my brain and together they are as panic. Only now my brain is starting to recall things, the efforts of the night being a marathon of unpredictable problem-solving. I didn’t have dreams this night, I had nightmares. Nightmares of the Lunar Mission. I start recalling my conversation with my parents.

Then it hit me.

Today is the Lunar Festival.

I rush downstairs not even bothering to change clothes. I see my parents sitting in the dining with their heads resting gently in their hands. They both look up at me and I blink.

β€œDarling, you know what day it is today right?”

β€œY-yes” I stutter

β€œWell it takes off in ten minutes, you better get ready. Remember, keep your sword and all your potions that you have.

β€œy-yes” I repeat

I sulkily go back upstairs.

it’s time to get into action. My positive self says.

No! Just run away to earth! No one will find you; you’ll be fine. Argues my negative self.

I know exactly which one I should listen to – positive – but what I want is negative.

But I can’t leave my parents. All I have to do is my best – nothing else matters, doesn’t it?



*:ο½₯゚✧*:ο½₯οΎŸβœ§Β·Β·Β·Β·π”—π”’π”« π”ͺ𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔱𝔒𝔰 π”©π”žπ”±π”’π”―Β·Β·Β·Β·βœ§ο½₯゚: *✧ο½₯゚:*



It had been ten minutes. I was all set. Time to go do my best, I guess.

I walked out of the grand gates of the kingdom, and in all the rush I didn't realize one thing. This was the first time I was leaving the castle! But it didn't really make me feel any better. There was a grand ceremony held by my dad in honor of me. There I saw Lemon. Lemon Hearts. My alicorn.Β 

The trumpets started erupting from the sides of the runways. My parents were waving frantically. I guess it really was time. Time to go.


I opened my eyes slightly. I wasn’t In my room? Oh yes, I must’ve slept on the journey to this realm. This realm where I was going to have to prove myself. I had imagined it to be all dark and gloomy. Maybe even on the moon? Who knows? But no. It was completely usual. It was actually a LOT like my home back at Zamora. The other weird thing was, I thought I was the only one there but turns out Marissa had done the same thing to others’ realms as what she did to us. Omg, YES. I should’ve thought about that! Now at least one person won’t be able to complete them so she will get to rule at least one realm. Everyone is like a backup here. Zamora is known to be the richest and largest realm, so I think she might aim for me.Β We also had rooms! Like ACTUAL rooms. I thought I’d be sleeping in some shack, although it is quite small for what I’ve been sleeping in. We also had roommates – three people per room. Again, all of us are princesses or princes, though the more professional way to say it would be, all of us are the future to be queen/king. There were either 3 girls or three boys, so it was gender divided. In my room, I had a girl wearing an oversized sweater with some overalls on top of that, and another girl wearing sweatpants and a tank top. They didn’t seem much like princesses at all. Like that’s the kind of thing I could only dream to wear, but I wasn’t allowed. I was wearing a long coat with a pair of black leggings and an artist cap. I mean I looked good, but it wasn’t that comfortable. Luckily though I had a friend to sneak me some comfortable clothing so I could be free! I quickly changed into a pair of black shorts as well as a crop top. β€œHey! My name is Candace! What are your names?” one of the girls asked

β€œumm, Mines Judith” I replied

β€œand I’m Blair” the last one answered

β€œKay, girls. It’s time we work together and defeat Marissa!”

Blair and I started cracking up and candace looked up like she had no idea

β€œwell, you’re definitely going to be a future queen, maybe even an inspirational speaker.” Blair cried through cracks of laughter.

β€œcome on! Everyone says that”

And with that said, we all started laughing.


It was bright and early in the morning and we had no idea what we had to do, neither did we know where Marissa was. We went outside of our room and out into the open garden. There we met a few other people from other dorm rooms. Soon everyone was out and while after, Marissa came out from the castle.

β€œSo, Listen up everyone. I’m going straight to the point here since all of you know what’s going on – or so I hope. So, you will be working together in you're trios. In your room trios to be exact”

We looked at each other and smiled, good thing we were already quite good friends. β€œSo Now I’m going to be revealing the challenge…”

We all held our breaths tightly. I couldn’t wait as millions of questions ran through my head.


Will it be hard?


Will it be too easy?


Will I be able to do it?


Will I be any help in this trio?


β€œso, your first task will be, the first trio to find their pearl in the giant lake will get an advantage in the next task. By THEIR pearl, I mean each trio will receive a color, you have to find the pearl that coordinates to your color. But whoever is the last to find it, will be sent back, and as said in the deal I will get to rule it!” the last part she said VERY evilly. I was quite confident with my friends Blair and Candace, but it most certainly depended on the challenge itself!"


We all got ourselves a submarine and packed diving gear for when the pearl comes in our sight. Our color was orange which was a good thing because blue would blend in really well. β€œOkay. 3. 2. 1. GO!” Marissa shouted

β€œWe left the deck at once and ducked under the sea.

My mind was racing like crazy and I could see everything but… orange!

Orange, orange, orange. The whole submarine was filled with the word β€˜orange’. I guess all of us tend to say the thing we’re looking for the right. It had nearly been like one hour and we had no sign of our pearl. We had seen a purple pearl, a pink and even blue one which we were happy we didn't get because it would blend in. We even had some heart attacks when one of us was like "I FOUND IT" and it turned out to be an orange starfish.


That’s when the lights started flickering. One by one, every single light bulb went out. β€œWhat’s happening?!” Blair yelled

β€œI have no idea!” I replied

β€œOkay, everyone, we need to calm down and think positively! Maybe we can open the doors!” Candace suggested. Even though she was being her usual leader self, this time it wasn’t going to make us laugh.

β€œUm, Candace, the doors are electrically operated! We are stuck in here!” I panicked

β€œoh no. Okay. What can we do?” Candace thought. She was looking at everything around us and what we had.

β€œCandace! What are you doing looking around, can you help us budge the door?” Blair complained

β€œhang on. I need to think resourcefully.

Our argument continued when a drop of water fell on my cheek.

β€œwait why is it raining?” I asked

β€œhave you gone mad Judith? We are in a SUBMARINE in the depths of the OCEAN.” Blair corrected

β€œyeah, but I felt a drop of water on my cheek,” I explained

Blair spotted the tiny drop of water still resting on my cheek. β€œOH NO! GUYS THE WATER IS LEAKING IN!”

I instantly realized what was happening and yelled at the top of my lungs.


What was going to happen?


Was I going to be alright?


Were WE going to be alright?


β€œHang on…” I foreboded β€œHow come only we lost electricity? Wait a second. I swear this is all Marissa’s plan to take over Zamora.”

β€œOh yes! Your correct Judith. This is one of her nasty and evil plans.” Candace said.

β€œOmg, I put you two in all this trouble just because she wants to take over MY kingdom.

β€œit’s okay. We’re in this together!” Both of them cheered

I gave a silent smiled and hugged them really tightly


Uh, guys what are we going to about the leaking situation?”











September 06, 2020 01:14

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

46 comments

Wow! Awesome job Rachel! I can't wait for a part 3! This really hooked me in! It's awesome! LOVE IT!

Reply

Show 0 replies

Great job! Part 3!?!?! One of them has the same name as me... hehe.

Reply

Yeah i really like your name! I'm trying to finish part 3

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Oh my God Rachelll. You are wonderful!!! Yesterday night (if you don't remember I have writer's block) I got an idea for a story!! And I wrote it down nd submitted. Would you mind checking it out? Thanks Dr. Rachel Works in curing writer's block!!!!!!😍🀩🀩

Reply

woww! Your welcome!!! IM SO HAPPYYY

Reply

Show 1 reply

Just commented ;)

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies

οƒ˜ Someone coming across the same stranger. Thriller prompt. I too have writer's block. :(

Reply

YOU DO!? It's sad isn't it....

Reply

It's okay! we are all here to support you!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

πŸ˜–πŸ˜£

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Jade Young
09:04 Sep 10, 2020

This is a really good story! I love the pacing set by the dialogue and the trio. Your world building abilities are also amazing. Can't wait to read more and find out what happens next. Keep up the good writing! If you have the time, please check out my new story, Bonds that never break

Reply

Thank you! I'll check it out in a bit

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
. .
04:12 Sep 07, 2020

Such an awesome story! I love how clear the dialogue is and the vocabulary was also really good Btw I read ur bio and sent you a friend request, and happy fathers day (for yesterday)

Reply

Thank You! Ill accept it right away, but can you pls tell me your username so that i don't accept the wrong person? thx :D

Reply

Show 0 replies

Is it HappyTomato374?

Reply

. .
06:27 Sep 07, 2020

yep, that's me

Reply

I accepted πŸ˜ƒ

Reply

. .
06:31 Sep 07, 2020

Okay!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies

Ooh, a wonderful part two! WE DEMAND PART 3!! Great job!

Reply

Lol okay! Part 3 comin up! Thanks

Reply

Show 0 replies
Blair Summer
04:38 Sep 11, 2020

YES RACHEL! Aerin's right. WE DEMAND PART 3!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Avery G.
01:23 Sep 06, 2020

Wow, this was good Rachel! I really liked this part two! Please write a part three! Great job!

Reply

thx :D. Of course, I'm working on part three! There might even be a four but I'm going to try and write more this time so I don't have to do a five. Anyway thanks for the visit!

Reply

Avery G.
01:27 Sep 06, 2020

You're welcome! Yay! No problem!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Avery G.
01:27 Sep 06, 2020

Also thanks for putting me in your bio! :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Bridget Summers
01:13 Sep 11, 2020

In your bio you wrote that if we want you to change your your profile pic for a day to dusk then comment! I want you to! Also, I dare you to change your name to Dusk for a day!

Reply

Oh, OKAY! YAY I GET TO CHNAGE MY NAME THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 0 replies

hi! I didn't know how else to reach you, so i'll just reply to this. can i have the link to silverspent's acc? I want to make sure i'm not following her, because what she did sounds terrible. If you ever need to chat, i'm always open! :D have a nice day, -Lina

Reply

nevermind, i found it. I unfollowed her because you are much more civil. her words about you in her bio are so unkind, whereas you aren't calling her anything, or even really telling people to unfollow her. great job on being the better person :)

Reply

Bridget Summers
00:02 Apr 12, 2021

Thank you! I really appreciate it

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 3 replies
Niveeidha Palani
06:49 Sep 12, 2020

Hi Rachel! I read your bio, and recognized the patterns and decorations. They look a bit like Hindi? Or is it Tamil? (They're interesting! :) Anyways, I love your story! Just check some of the grammar, like capital letters when you first start speech marks and also to end your speech marks like this (")! Bye!

Reply

Okay thx! Wait what do you mean Hindi decorations?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Amany Sayed
12:53 Sep 11, 2020

OH NOOOO You have writers block? Maybe try the reedsy plot generator. Orrr, hmmm, write an entire story centering around a peppermint. Hehe. Good luck!

Reply

it's okay, it think i'm fine now. I started a quick write which really helped!

Reply

Amany Sayed
23:16 Sep 11, 2020

What's a quick write? If you don't mind me asking.

Reply

Lol, basically writing a very short story - more like a narrative - and trying to make it as a creative as you want in a short amount of time. It was on the web for tips to fix writers block.

Reply

Amany Sayed
23:21 Sep 11, 2020

Ah okay, thank you.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply