5 comments

Contemporary Sad Fiction

It was gut-wrenching. My dad and I were waiting for the results of my mom’s surgery. We were in the hospital inside the lobby where we were seated on leather chairs. In front of me were two blocks that had a gradient finish and there was a Diet Coke that my dad had putten there. I was twiddling my fingers not knowing the outcome of my mom’s surgery. Suddenly, I had a feeling in my gut. A bad feeling. I start to breathe rapidly as I look at the ceiling in the meantime. The tile-squared ceiling with six lights; one not turned on. 

I divert my eyes from the ceiling toward my dad. 

“Dad, can I use your phone?” I ask him when he nods giving me his phone.

I swipe up unlocking the screen. I look at the number of apps, swiping from left to right. I tap the Safari app, to search for something. I was too busy searching for something that I didn't hear my dad call me.

“Max, give me the phone please,’ my dad asked me as I nodded getting out of the Safari app and turning off the phone. When I give him the phone, he gets up and motions me towards the elevators. 

“I have to go the bathroom,” he says as I nod, grabbing my book. My dad goes to the elevators pushing the up button, the only button that was there. We wait for one minute, and one of the elevators open, showing a woman and a man. The woman and the man are wearing casual clothing, both holding a Big Gulp cup. My dad and I go inside, my dad pushing the button for the sixth floor.

I look at the couple for a little bit and then I look at the elevator doors, clutching my book tightly. The elevator reached the 3rd floor which was the couple’s floor. When they left, the elevator closed its doors and continued its way up to the sixth floor. When it ringed for the sixth floor, I heaved a sigh. 

The doors opened and my dad motioned me to go out first. I nod as I go out turning left towards the hallway. The hallway was narrow but had enough space for someone to stride freely. They were a lot of rooms and each room had a lamp beside it that was inside this cupped exterior covering it.

“Max, do you need to go to the bathroom?” he asks me as I shake my head. 

“No, Dad, I’ll just be in the hallway,” I replied putting my back onto the wall. 

I look beside me to see a green, tall directory of the hallway. It reached from 600 to 640. I skimmed through the numbers to see who the surgeon was that was working on my mom. Unfortunately, the surgeon's name wasn’t on the directory. I looked over my shoulder to see a doctor who wore blue medical scrubs rush towards a room that was far into the hallway to my left. I wasn’t that worried about him but I did notice he looked familiar. I brushed it off telling myself he was someone different. When I was done looking at the directory, I suddenly saw my dad who had just exited the bathroom. I opened my mouth to say something but the words didn’t come out. I was worried about asking him which floor was the surgery taking place on. 

“What were you going to say son?” my dad asked me as I shook my head. 

“Nothing.”

My dad nods, wrapping his arm around my neck. We both return towards the elevators, feeling tired. My dad’s arm around my neck made me feel safe and I started to smile. The warmth of his jacket on my neck made me feel comfortable as I started to press the lobby button. We waited for seconds until the elevator doors opened. 

“Dad, how long is the surgery?” I ask him as he frowns. 

“I don't know son, it takes longer you know.”

“I know, but we have been here about 3 hours!” 

“I know, do you want to go somewhere to get a snack?”

“What if the doctor calls?”

“Don’t worry son, they won’t.”

I nod hoping that my dad was right. We both exit the glass doors entering outside. Six stone trash cans were located around a circle. Inside the circle was a road which was so cars can park in order to take people who are pregnant or need to get to the hospital fast. We walk around it, walking toward the door of the stairs. 

I worry too much, I think as I push the door open revealing the gray cold stairs. The atmosphere inside is humid which makes my thinking more cloudy. As I ascended the stairs, my legs started to feel heavy. Going up the stairs is harder than going down the stairs, I thought as I kept stepping up. My legs were starting to get heavy and my stamina was going down. Fortunately, we reached our destination.

I stop at P2 which was where the car was parked at. 

I push the door open and I hold the door out for my dad. I looked beside me to see myriads of cars that were parked side by side. I walked towards our car which was a silver Chevy, parked out in front of the railing of the parking garage. I looked at the hospital from the railing, admiring the flowers, and the pedestrians. My dad opens the car door, telling me to go in the car with him. I nod as I go to the passenger's seat. 

“Where do you want to go, Mark?’ my dad asked me as I shrugged. 

“I don’t know Dad, but. . .” 

Suddenly my dad’s phone rings. He grabs the phone, takes the call, and puts it on his ear. A minute later, my dad starts to gasp. 

“What happened?” I thought as I started to feel anxious. I look at Dad who took the phone out of his ear, 

“Dad, what did they say?” I asked him as he looked at me with shock. A tear trickles from his eye and then he hugs me tightly.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” I asked him as he started to bawl. 

“Son, it was the doctor. They said she didn’t make it,” he started saying in between sniffles as I started to look at him blankly. My head started to hurt and my heart was wrenching.

“No, it can’t be,” I uttered as tears started to well up in my eyes. 

I put my head on my dad’s back hastily, and we both cried for a long time. It is heartbreaking how losing a family member can have a great impact on you. My mom was very loved and she will always be.

Even though my mom died, she will always be in our hearts.

Suddenly, I remembered that gut feeling I had earlier. I chuckled weakly, shaking my head.

January 04, 2022 07:08

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

5 comments

Tommy Goround
09:44 Jun 25, 2022

Oops. This is part of a series. Ok. Please disregard my notes below.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Tommy Goround
09:40 Jun 25, 2022

Tight. I just read about you losing your mom 11.2 months after my mom died. Hmmm Theme? Obvious Best line: emotional description of how dad's arm felt. Ending: no. The the story is spellbinding for me. I didn't even think about critique or new plot devices or trying to copy and paste the story for a line by line response... It was just good. If you fall asleep and think of a new ending it could be better. But please realize this is very good, especially considering the subject matter. I just cheated and looked at the prompt that started ...

Reply

Calm Shark
18:41 Jun 25, 2022

For your first question, I don't see a correlation. I don't think there is missing trust. I believe the father knows that he and his son will get over this. The family doesn't have a culture to overcome terrible things but might try to move on. The method of resilience is to have people around them. The universal truth may be that although there are hardships, we can still overcome them. Yes, it might beckon the writer to give it the next level.

Reply

Tommy Goround
21:52 Jun 25, 2022

Soft smile.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Tommy Goround
09:30 Jun 25, 2022

Wait...no comments? WTH...be right there. I scanned a few of your stories and just pick this one at random. The first two paragraphs hit my mood perfectly....brb

Reply

Show 0 replies