The Interrogation

 Pain. That was the first thing he could remember. A sharp painful blow to his head. But that was all he could remember. Nothing else. No name, no birthday, no favorite pringles flavor, nothing. He examined his surroundings. A dark prison cell. He was all alone. "Aw, dang it!" he said to himself "No roomates." He chuckled to himself. He thought that was pretty funny. He then noticed a strange dry feeling on his hands, like when there's dirt you can't wash off. He looked down and screamed "WAUGH!" There was dried blood all over his hands. He took a lick. Twelve hours old, by the taste of it ."Wait a sec" he thought" How do I know that? Maybe I was an... Assassin!" He thought that would be pretty cool.

 The cell door burst open, and a very overweight policeman walked into the room, if you could call it walking. It was sort of a waddle/stumble. He looked the room up and down, and then looked at the prisoner as if he was some gross cockroach that needed to be exterminated. He coughed loudly and said " The name's officer Hudson, and you're coming with me!" He grabbed the prisoner by the lips and waddled off. "IFLANTFLEATHE!" gasped the prisoner. "What's that? You have fleas?!?!?! Well don't get them all over me!" He threw the prisoner on the ground and waddled off down the halls shrieking." Help me!" he yelled " I'm contaminated! I'm diseased! I'm as good as dead! I'm too young to die!" It took a couple seconds for the echoes of his screams to stop ricocheting of the halls.

 The prisoner got up and looked around. He saw rooms labeled "introverts" or "extroverts". he was sick and tired of always seeing the world divided like this. He looked back at his own room, labeled "absolute loser". He chuckled to himself.

 He was feeling sorta hungry, so he walked into the nearest room in search of food. He saw two figures in overcoats standing around a table and whispering about something. "Hey fellers" he said "Got any goodies? I'm famished!" The figures turned around and shock mixed with anger showed on their faces. "Its him!" one shouted "Let's get him!" They tackled the prisoner and held him down, all the while shouting insults at him. "You imbecile! You freckle-faced fiend! You stupid chunk of meat! You murdering dog! You eater of salad!" He wasn't sure what to think of that last one. They pulled him to the table and sat him in a chair. " We've got some questions for you" said one of the men who smelled like old yogurt. "Hey" said the prisoner" You sorta smell like old yogurt." The man slapped him. He made a mental note not to tell anyone they smell like old yogurt. The other man (he smelled like new yogurt, but the prisoner kept quiet. He'd learned his lesson) said "We're detectives, I'm an introvert, he's an extrovert,(we're best friends) and we're working on a very difficult case, so you better tell us everything you remember, or Gideon here will sneeze on you until you start talking." He looked over at the other detective, who wiped his nose and smiled. " I'll talk!" said the prisoner "But I don't remember anything, honest!" "Nothing, huh?" said Gideon "What about...THIS!" He thrusted a picture of a banana into his face. " Uh.. is that a banana?" " Ah-ha!" said the other detective " So you do remember! That was a little trick I like to call.. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!" "Ha ha!" said Gideon " Secret handshake!" They bumped booties and gobbled like chickens. Gideon laughed. "Wow, Andrew, who knew that this would be so easy!" The prisoner laughed out loud. " That was the most stupid secret handshake I've ever seen." Andrew started crying. "Andrew is an introvert!" shouted Gideon "Do you have any idea how hard it is for him to do that in public?" He started sneezing excessively on the prisoner. This went on for a couple minutes until Andrew stopped him and said "Don't worry, bro! Not even an evil criminal like him can overcome the power of friendship!" They did their secret handshake.

 A third man walked into the room. He was clearly someone not to be trifled with, the type of person who would chop off your arm for breathing too loud. And he did not look happy." You idiots!" he screamed. " Why is this man here? He should be in the hospital, getting serious help!" "B-b-but, Chief Philip!" said Gideon. " This man is clearly a criminal. He has blood on his hands, and he knew what a banana was!" "Everybody knows what a banana is! And that's not blood. That's jelly!" said Philip "JELLY?!" shouted everyone except Philip. "Yes, jelly! This man worked at the jelly factory, until he slipped, hit his head, and lost his memory! Then you guys snatched him from the hospital without telling anybody, and now look where we are!" "Ohhh" said Andrew and Gideon. "It all makes sense now." 

The prisoner's mind flashed to twelve hours earlier. His name was Spencer North, manager at the local jelly factory. He'd walked into the jelly making room only to find that all the workers had gone on strike, and the room was overflowing with jelly. He quickly tried to scoop it all into jars, but there was too much jelly. He sprinted around frantically, but the jelly was slippery. He lost his footing. Then darkness.

"Hey,guys!" said Spencer. "I remember everything now! Philip must have jogged my memory when he said jelly! Philip, you're awesome!" Philip just nodded. He knew he was awesome. Spencer leaped up with a sense of urgency." I better hurry!" he said" The jelly factory is probably overflowing by now!" He rushed out of the room.

 "Well" said Gideon ". I can't imagine how we let something like that happen, but I sure am glad it's all over now." Andrew and Gideon laughed and did their secret handshake. "You got that right" said Philip" You guys are fired."

                The End