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Coming of Age Romance High School

First, it was Existentialism.


He heard her voice ring out, shrill and self-assured, before he’d even taken a proper look at her.


“Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world, and defines himself afterwards. These were the words of John Paul Sartre in his 1946 essay on Existentialism and Humanism, which first laid out the philosophical framework of existentialism. As you will see, it still holds radical potential for us today...”


The way she held herself, regal-like, with an air of pomposity as she reeled off French phrases and philosophical mantras like she’d coined them herself - her whole demeanour in fact - set his teeth grinding. It didn’t help that languages were one of the few subjects Marcus didn’t excel at. When he stood up to deliver for the opposition, his confidence had wavered and he could hear how unconvincing his appeals to biological essentialism sounded. Besides, the audience always loved a speaker who told them that they were more free than they thought they were, so he’d been on the back foot from the start.


That had lost them a spot in the regional finals and the trophy had eventually gone to some prep school from Wiltshire.


The next time, it was Life on Other Planets.


He hadn’t seen her for six months, but as soon as everyone stepped on the stage to shake hands with the other teams, he felt the adrenaline rush through him. She wore a garnet school tie, a little tighter than you would get away with in his school. Marcus, by contrast, had self-consciously slipped his loosely knotted tie down to reveal an undone top button, hoping it projected a cool and calm image. He rolled his sleeves up as determinedly as if he was stepping into armour. It was the first bout of the county championships.


“For centuries, man has believed that he was alone in the universe. But he looked to the stars and never stopped wondering. We are now in an age where we can say beyond reasonable doubt that there is a life beyond planet Earth. Recent studies of Mars by NASA probes have shown the presence of Formaldehyde and Ammonia in the atmosphere...”


He delivered his speech clearly and pragmatically, condensing down large-scale statistics into easily digestible nuggets of information. There was a palpable air of excitement from the audience, and he knew that they’d be going home later today and repeating facts from his speech to their friends and family. By the time he had finished, they were like putty in his hands.


As he stepped off stage, he caught her glowering up at him. She looked worried, he thought to himself, gleefully, and rightfully so. He’d already won over the audience, and it would take a lot to swing them back the other way.


She stiffly shuffled to podium and began to speak in a low but firm voice.


“My honourable opponent has told you today that it is beyond all reasonable doubt that there is life on other planets. He has said that man has always thought of himself alone in the universe. Both of these statements are demonstrably false.”


“Man has always been terrified, above all, by the possibility that we are alone in a vast chasm of darkness. And to fill that void, he has created life where none is to be found, commonly in the form of deities or angels. And that age-old need for connection, ladies and gentleman, is the exact same driving force that lies behind modern claims of alien life, which are founded on flimsy evidence and dressed up in the language of pseudo-science...”


It was a robust rebuttal, one that turned the spotlight on the audience themselves and forced them to examine their own desire to believe in Marcus’s arguments. A few of them shuffled uncomfortably in their seats. Marcus was impressed. Nonetheless, he sensed that this high-concept, rather cynical argument had largely failed to connect. The second proposition and opposition teammates gave adequate speeches of their own, before the debate turned to questions from the floor. Nearly all of the questions were directed to Marcus from people eager to know more about the possibility of past life on Mars. It was wrapped up with short summary speeches from himself and Ria.


Any relief was immediately stifled by a surge of anxiety about what was to come next. In the county championships, teams were not only required to debate the main topic, but also to complete a second round in which they debated on an impromptu subject. They would be handed a bundle of information and given a mere 15 minutes to prepare. It was Marcus’s biggest fear that he would get flustered in the extra round and loose his cool, though normally he excelled under pressure.


His teammate Ryan and himself quickly set to work leafing through the papers.


“I heard that the Caulfield Grammar always knows the subjects in advance...” Ryan hissed in an accusatory tone.


“What do you mean?”


“Well, I hea-a-a-a-rd that their deputy head’s good buddies with the debating chair and so he catches wind of what subjects are going to be sprung on us. That’s why they’re always so prepared.”


Marcus looked at his conspiratorial friend with a wry smile. “And where did you hear that story from?”


“My brother Mike went to Caulfield for Sixth Form - only for a year before he dropped out and started that plumbing course. Mum and Dad were gutted they’d spent out only for Mike to throw it all away. Jokes on them, he’s already making more than they do. But that’s why I’m stuck at the Grange: they don’t want to risk the investment of a better school on me now.” He folded his arms, sulkily.


“Right.” Said Marcus, acutely aware of how the clock was ticking on their preparation time. “So about this debate-”


“And she’s a proper teacher’s pet that one. I heard from Mike that she’s set a record in her school for GCSE’s: 11 A*s, 1 A. The Grange won’t even let me take more than 10, bet I could set a record if I’d been given half a chance.”


Suddenly his interest had been piqued. “You know her?”


“You mean Ria? Yeah my brother is friends with her brother, she’s a total suck up. Apparently she has a poster of the periodic table on her bedroom wall!”


Marcus nodded shiftily. He certainly didn’t have a poster like that displayed on his wall – but he did have a quiz app he used to test his memory of the periodic elements...


“Do you think... you could introduce us? You know, afterwards.” Marcus asked. “I want to get a handle on the competition for future bouts.” He added quickly.


“Pfft. Sure. Oh shit we’ve only got 8 minutes left. We better get on. Debate, on the opposition: Lying is always morally wrong. Apparently we’re meant to know about this guy Kant?


The impromptu bout went as Ryan had predicted: the Caulfield school demolished them. In the end though, Marcus didn’t need an introduction to be brokered as Ria came up to him after the debates had finished and the teams were packing up.


“So that was a decent argument you put forward there,” she said, haughtily. “About life on other planets, that is.”


He laughed in a way that smoothed over his nerves. “Is that your way of saying well done?”


“If it was that well done, you would have won,” she replied, a slight twinkle in her eyes. “But it was decent competition, I’ll give you that. You almost had me worried there. I don’t say that lightly you know.”


“Thank you for your sincere congratulations” he said, playfully.


There was an awkward silence for a moment, and he began filling up his backpack. Even as he leant over to slowly zip the bag up, he could feel her proximity to him and an electric tension fizzled in the air.


“So, you’re Ria right? My friend knows your brother.” He volunteered.


“Indeed, Ria is me. And you’re Marcus, I presume.”


He felt a little thrill that she had sought out his name.


“And how do you know that? I doubt you got the information from my brother, he’s been living in Australia for the past decade,” he joked.


“It’s sewn on your backpack,” she retorted. His heart sunk. Thanks Mum.


The disappointment must have flickered across his face because she reached out and placed her hand gently on his arm. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I like a man who’s organised.” She flashed him a flirtatious smile. “Let’s see if you can organise a victory next time?” And with that challenge, she flounced off to re-join her teammate.


The third time, it was Freedom of Speech in Universities. Ryan took the lead and almost managed to swing the audience into believing that there was simply too much free speech in the world - before he started spouting off about universities being cradles of communism. The impromptu debate wasn’t much better, as the Caulfield school seemed to know a lot more on the topic of environmentalism and the imminent dangers of climate change.


By this point, a month had passed and Marcus had worked up the courage to approach Ria after the debates and ask if she wanted to hang out. He hadn’t quite worked up the bottle to ask if she wanted to go out but it was a first step at least, he figured. He took a sharp breath in, rolled up his sleeves again, and walked over to where she was sat.


She looked up at him, toying with an escapee curl of hair between her finger and thumb. “Not such a hotshot this time were we?”


“No, I admit, I’ve been a bit distracted.” He said. “Ryan did a good job though.”


“Your teammate? He was mediocre at best. Rather seems to think he’s smarter than he is.”


Marcus was a bit put out by her comment, though secretly he felt the same. “Is that what you think of me?”


“To begin with, maybe. I guess time will tell.” She broke into a warm smile.


“Well... we could hang out some time, and put that supposition to the test?” He didn’t dare move a single facial muscle in case in case it went rogue and betrayed him. His stomach was clenched tightly.


Ria replied, “That wouldn’t be such a bad notion,” and took out a small notebook, wrote down her number and pulled the page out. “Give me a ring?”


They went on a date the very next evening. It was a jolt, seeing her out of school uniform; she wore a velvet red top with long puffy sleeves, and a pair of sleek black jeans. He asked her what she was planning to do at university.


“Oh I’ll be on the University Challenge team, and likely run the Model UN.” She said, matter-of-factly.


“I meant more, what do you plan on studying...” He said, in awe of her self-assurance.


“Oh.” She laughed. “Well I intend on studying Politics and International Relations at Warwick. If I get the grades of course. And you?”


“English at Sheffield. I’ve got a few mates up there already actually.” In his mind, he was already trying to calculate the distance between Sheffield and Warwick.


“That sounds lovely.” She replied, looking intently at him, and her fingers inched a little closer to his so that they were a hairbreadth’s apart. They spoke some more about school and future plans, before he casually dropped in the rumour he’d heard from Ryan.


“Is it true?” He asked.


She scanned him for a moment, as if checking she could trust him. “Look, I’m more keen than anyone to win, I mean, going on to win the regionals would really help me get into the Parliamentary debate league and then the Model UN, but I feel really uncomfortable with it. Mr Scott keeps dropping all these heavy handed hints, and it’s hard not to act on them...” She looked ashamed. “It’s terrible, I know.”


“No I get it.” Marcus said, shifting his hand onto hers. He could feel that her pulse was racing as fast as his.


“I don’t know if it will fix anything,” she said, “but I can tell you what the next one’s going to be. It’s on the topic of AI – you know, artificial intelligence. Robots and all that.”


At the end of the evening, he went to kiss her on the cheek goodbye at the same time as she went in for a hug, and he accidentally grazed across the corner of her lips. She held on to him longer than a normal hug, before whispering in his ear, “I’ll see you soon, opponent.”


He had told Ryan about the impromptu subject at school the next day.


“Where in the high hell did you hear that?” Ryan asked, incredulously.


“From Ria actually.”


“Oh no mate, she doesn’t fancy you does she? I mean fair play her telling us and all, but still.


Marcus withered under Ryan’s mockery. “Nah, no way. And even she did, I’d never go for that. I have standards you know, mate.” He glanced around guiltily, even though he knew Ria was miles away. The two began preparing in earnest for the final debate, and by the time it arrived Marcus had devoured seven Isaac Asimov novels.


When they got to the county finals, the hall was packed with people Marcus didn’t recognise though somewhere in the crowd his mum and dad were in attendance, excited to finally be invited to one of his debates. The Chair was a small beady, bearded man, who Marcus knew to be quite the stickler for rules, and he had to hush the crowd several times before the debates could begin.


This time, the main topic was Social Media as a Force for Good.


The debate opened with Marcus in first proposition, presenting a sweeping vision of an increasingly connected world and its benefit to human progress. Ria, in first opposition, argued fiercely that platforms like Facebook and Twitter had caused a breakdown in communication and enabled users to act in bad faith. Ryan to his credit gave a fantastic account of the role of social media in the Arab Spring and Ria’s teammate gave some damning statistics about the impact on young children. Marcus was exhausted by the time the questions from the floor and summaries were over.


Finally, the bearded man gave a cough to indicate he was ready to announce the impromptu round. He read off a sheet: “Can Men and Women Ever be Equal?”


What?


Panicked, Marcus glanced over at Ria expecting to be met with a similarly aghast look. She wore a blank expression, gaze fixed firmly forwards towards the stage.


Ryan muttered swear words under his breath as he and Marcus fumbled through the information sheets to try and piece together their proposition speeches. “For a nerd, she’s fecking useless,” he told Marcus, annoyed at the wasted hours spent pouring over sci-fi mags and robotics journals. Marcus closed his eyes, and tried to remember all the things his mum had taught him growing up, those preachy lectures about gender equality, and discrimination in the workplace and consent. He spotted his mum in the audience and she gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up.


The bearded man signalled that it was time. Marcus stepped up and began:


“Men and women are equal, but they have never had the opportunity to be treated as such. Of course, there’s been a lot of progress since the time of the suffragettes but even today the male perspective is seen as the default. And to treat men as the default is to deny women’s equal share in humanity; to deny that they are rounded individuals with their own wants, needs, and desires. When I was growing up my mum used to tell me...”


He sat back down, exalted and a little proud of himself. It had been clumsy but it had been passionate and he even felt spurred to be a greater champion of women. Yes, he was going to be a better man, a better ally. He was going to outright tell Ryan and all his mates that he fancied a girl – no, a woman! – because she was smart, and she was confident, and because he valued her as a person in herself. As he sat back down, he glanced over at Ria again to see if she was impressed. Her expression brightened, and she cast a small grin his way. With one quick movement she loosened her tie and then made her way to the podium.


“Men and women can never be equal for the same reason that the film When Harry Met Sally suggested that men and women can never be friends. The sex always gets in the way.”


“I don’t deny the benefits of recent developments in women’s rights. But we would be deluding ourselves to think that any differences between men and women were merely artificial.”


With this, she turned and momentarily locked her eyes squarely on his. Any trace of warmth had disappeared.


“As a recent article in The Economist discussed, the sexual dimorphism of humans creates a fundamental power imbalance that cannot be simply legislated or debated away...”


Beside him, Ryan started furiously shuffling through the information sheets, trying to find a reference to the article. Marcus simply stared, agape.


“... and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the science clearly shows that men and women can never be equal.”


Ria’s speech was met with rapturous applause. The other two teammates delivered their speeches in a blur.


At last, Marcus stepped up to podium to deliver his summary, and the whole world seemed to distort in front of him, looming large. His knees felt weak. He opened his mouth, “I uh –”


“I –”


But flustered, he couldn’t find the words to speak.

February 03, 2022 20:17

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