A Change in Life

You try to eat breakfast.  It’s just some cereal, but swallowing feels impossible.  You’ve finished all of your preparations, all that’s left to do is to catch the train.  You shouldn’t have anything left to worry about.

You worry all the same.

You give up on the cereal, tossing the remains away.  Glancing at the clock, you see that you still have a couple of hours to kill before you need to get to the station.  Those couple of hours before you should order your ride are excruciating.  You pace, endlessly.  You check your phone, nothing new to amuse you.  The games, the apps, the scrolling, all it does is drain your battery.  Now you have to dig out your charger.

Another glance at the clock.  How has it only been forty-five minutes?  Time moves too slowly.

Your entire life is going to change.  It will be for the better.  You’ve assured yourself of that enough times.  You go through your mental checklist of all the things you needed to take care of.  They’re all done, you’re sure of it.  Wait, are you sure you’ve packed everything you needed?

Halfway through repacking your suitcase, the alarm on your phone goes off.  You need to order a ride, Now!  You can’t afford to miss the train!  You order the ride and hastily throw everything back into the suitcase.  Your carefully planned order is ignored.  It was much easier to close last night.

Your ride is here.

You rush out, suitcase in hand, only just remembering to lock up behind you.

On the way to the station, the driver makes small talk with you.  You make responses, but you have no idea what either of you have said.  After several minutes, he pulls up in front of the station.

You exit his car.  Suitcase in hand, you head to the station.  Upon entering, the rush of people and noise is overwhelming.  You need to find your platform.  What was it again?  How do you not remember this?  You start to panic.  You can’t miss your train.  Too much is at stake.  You can’t breath.  So much rides on this working out, and you can’t even remember which train you’re taking.  How long have you spent agonizing over this and memorizing every last detail?  The noise of the station fades as the sound of the blood pumping in your ears gets louder.

Wait.  It’s on your phone.  All the crucial information that you need is on your phone.  You start breathing again.  The external noise returns as your heartbeat slows down to a more normal pace.

Between your phone and the posted signs you find your terminal.  The train isn’t going to arrive for a few more minutes.  You sit down and try and calm down fully.  The pit in your stomach never fully goes away.

Then there’s an announcement.

Your train is going to be delayed for a full half-hour.  No.  It can’t be late.  If it comes late, that means it’s going to arrive at the destination late.  You planned this out so well, but this, this could throw everything off.

You make yourself take a deep breath, once, twice, three times, eventually you calm down enough to think.  A half-hour isn’t going to throw things that far off.  Besides, you already were already arriving the day before the job started.  A half-hour doesn’t affect anything.  Not really.  All it really does is mean you have an extra half-hour to try and fight your nerves.

This half-hour passes even slower than the two hours between giving up on breakfast and calling for a ride.  As you play solitaire for the upteeth time, the train arrives.

But your waiting isn’t over yet, first you have to wait for others to disembark.  They take forever.  Finally, after waiting online for an eternity, you board the train.

As the train leaves the station, a sense of excitement starts to mingle with your anxiety.  You are on your way.  Your new life is waiting at the other end of this ride.

The hours pass, and both the anxiety and the excitement fade into boredom and hunger.  You probably should have finished your breakfast.  As your stomach grumbles, you pull out the lunch you packed earlier.  It’s not your favorite, but you had been trying to finish emptying out your pantry and not buy anything new.  You are on your way to your new life, you didn’t want to leave anything behind, or bring anything you didn’t need.

At some point while staring out the window you doze off.  When you wake up, it’s dark outside.  You frantically check your phone, hoping that you haven’t missed your stop.  Thankfully, you haven’t and the train emerges from the tunnel and into daylight shortly there after.

After a while longer, the train arrives at your stop.  With that, your anxiety and excitement start to return.  However, as you exit the train, you have a far more pressing issue to deal with.  Immediately upon disembarking, you make a beeline for the nearest restroom.

But now, you are here in your new city.  One step closer to your new life.

Upon leaving the bathroom you order another ride to take you from the station to your new apartment.  The landlord is waiting for you.  You review the final details with him and claim your key.  You go up to your new apartment and smile.

It’s a definite step up from your old one.  A new apartment, a new home, a new life.

You get an affordable dinner recommendation from the landlord.  It’s pretty good; you’ll probably be frequenting it often.  The food is decent, the service is prompt, the atmosphere is casual, and the prices are good.

A new favorite restaurant for your new life.  Maybe, you may find a new favorite elsewhere.

You don’t stay longer than necessary at the restaurant.  You need to unpack the necessities, and get a good night’s sleep.  You have to get up early tomorrow.  Tomorrow you start your new job.

A new job, better than your old one.  A new job, for your new life.

You were worried before, but now you’re ready to start anew.

A new city, a new apartment, a new job, a new name, a new life, and all of it will be better than it was before.