Platonic

PLATONIC

Author's note: This story is dedicated to the people who've liked someone out of their reach or one of their close friends. Remember that it's okay if you don't end up with them, you'll get your happy ending soon. Love, Jasey

P.S

The ending is kinda eH- I rewrote this story three times and don't like the ending that much

~

“I'm an independent woman. I don't need a man!” She cries passionately, and your heart swells at her enthusiasm. You cannot help fall in love with her even more. “How about we get some ice cream?” She asks you, and you nod. If it makes her happy, it’ll make you happy. She takes your hand, dragging you off the bench and to the ice cream store down the road. Jaymee rattles on about being fearless and strong, and you desperately wish you had some of her courage. If you did, you would be better at making your own choices, and confessing your feelings for her. Time and time again, you hide in your shell, not wanting to risk breaking your lifelong friendship because of three words. I love you.

~

Jaymee jinxed it. She has fallen for a boy named Nate, who’s in your year. You hate the way she talks about him, but you remind yourself that this makes her excited, so you don’t argue. You have never been one for gossiping over boys, but when she does it, you want to listen. You want to admit you’ve never felt that way about a boy because it’s always been her. 

“He’s so cute, my gosh. I don’t just like him because of his looks though, he’s very sweet. I think you’d like him.” She smiles, and you agree, saying you would love to meet him. Deep down, you’ve never hated a person so much.

~

Jaymee is hanging out at your place, gushing over her first date with Nate. You want to laugh because Nate and date rhyme, but shouldn’t be put in a sentence together. 

“He hasn’t kissed me yet, but I’m hoping he will soon!” Jaymee says, dreamily. You resist the urge to wince. ‘You’re so selfish.’ You think to yourself. ‘Jaymee is happy, and you can’t even accept that.’ Your best friend grins for the rest of the afternoon, unable to escape her happy mood. You watch her blushy cheeks and freckled nose gleam in the sunlight, as the afternoon sun shines through your bedroom window. You want to speak up, you want to tell her, you want to make your decision. Instead, you let Jaymee live in her bubble of happiness in peace. 

~

You cannot sleep. You toss and you turn, and you flip your pillow around, but nothing works. Your mother called you earlier, demanding where her funds for her manicure were. She failed to come home the night before, and now she’s asking for payment. You are done with being dictated all the time. You are tired of hiding your feelings for Jaymee. You are ready to make your own decisions. But then, the next day comes, and you hand over your birthday money to your mother. It’s as if the thoughts of rebelling never existed.

~

“Then he pressed his lips on mine, and it was so beautiful!” She’s at it again, announcing for the fifth time how wonderful it was to be kissed by Nate. You can feel your stomach churning. Your rage is bubbling up, but you keep it concealed. Jaymee is happy, you cannot afford to ruin her bliss. “I think he could be the one,” she continues. The sick feeling in your stomach only grows. “We might start dating after this. What do you think?” She asks you, content shining in her eyes. This is your chance to tell her how you feel. 

“I’m sure you will.” You force the words out in the most comforting manner you can muster. She smiles at that. You clear your throat, telling Jaymee she has to leave because your mum doesn’t know she’s here. You help her up, smiling that fake smile, and she hugs you, thanking you for being such a good friend. You feel so guilty. As soon as you shut the door, the only thing you can think of is a blond-haired, green-eyed boy pressing himself onto Jaymee. You bolt to the bathroom, feeling the bile rise, and you throw up into the toilet bowl. Why did you have to fall in love with your best friend?

~

Perhaps it is better to come clean. Hiding in the dark is easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. You, of all people, should know that by now. Today, you’re at Jaymee’s house. Except you didn’t realise her new boyfriend would be here either.

“Hi, Nate Carpenter. Pleased to meet you. Jaymee says your her best friend?”

“That’s right. We’ve been friends for seventeen years.”

“Oh, how nice.” He smiles at you, but you can tell he doesn’t like you. Luckily, the feeling is mutual. Jaymee goes on a long rant about how the two of them met, and Nate’s facial expression is the definition of smug.

“It sounds like you’ve cosied up to each other nicely.” You remark, feeling an unexplainable amount of anger and disappointment building up in you.

“We have, haven’t we, Jay?” He winks at Jaymee, who giggles, and you bite back a snarl. “Of course, we’re not as close as you two, not yet.” He says casually, but you know he’s proposing he can do better. How could your best friend choose a boy like this? For the rest of the afternoon, you stare him down when Jaymee isn’t looking into his eyes lovingly. 

“I think I should head off.” You suggest, but neither your best friend nor her boyfriend looks your way. He is stroking Jaymee’s hair, and she’s snuggled in his lap. You decide to see yourself out.

~

You call her in the evening, but she doesn’t pick up. Nate must still be over at her place, indulging her. You start typing out a text, writing, deleting, then writing, but more deleting. After a while, you decide to write it out on paper. Pouring your heart out, you write more than you could ever say to her in person. You are done with hiding, it’s time you made your own choices. Relying on Jaymee is no longer an option. As sad as it makes you feel, you know it’s for the best.

~

“What’s this for?” Jaymee asks when you hand over the sealed letter.

“Well, it’s been weeks since I’ve seen you, Jaymee. You’ve ditched me for your boyfriend.”

“That’s not true!”

“When was the last time we hung out?” You fire back, and she doesn’t give a response, knowing you are right. Over the past few weeks, you’ve discovered the world does not revolve around Jaymee. Despite what you’ve thought all your life. It’s time to move on, and that’s okay, it’s all part of life.

“Do I open it now?” Curiosity is written all over her face.

“If you want to.” You wonder how long you’ve liked Jaymee, and how long it took to realise you no longer do. You know it’s been selfish, clinging onto Jaymee, who is louder, bolder, more outgoing, just because you don’t want to make your own choices. It’s time you’ve changed that, even if it means realising you no longer have feelings for her.

“I’m sorry.” You apologise to her, and she gives you a puzzled glance.

“Whatever for?”

“For holding onto you like a child. Ever since we’ve known each other, I’ve let you make the decisions. I’ve treated you like you were my saviour when you’ve always been my friend. And uh, I had the biggest crush on you for the longest time, but you have Nate now.”

“Oh. Wow. I- That’s a lot to take in.” She stutters, but she holds her arms out, and you hug her tightly. Your first love is something that will always stay with you, but you realise that moving on isn’t a bad thing.

“This is very sudden,” you blush, “but I thought it would be best to clear the air.”

“Is this part where I tell you I don’t love Nate, and it’s always been you?” Jaymee jokes, and you smile.

“We’d be living in a fairytale if that was the case.” You chuckle, a sense of relief rushing through you. You feel elated and happy that you’ve finally made your decision, and it’s worked out.

“Thank you for telling me.” Jaymee whispers in your ear, still hugging you tightly. You realise no matter where you go, and no matter how many decisions you make, with or without her, you and Jaymee will always be together, because sometimes love is platonic.