Refund Requested

Refund Requested 

by Sheralyn Welch

To Whom It May Concern:

Last week, I gave my partner Jeremy a $200 belt that I ordered from your company. First off, I should point out that buying the belt in the first place was against my better judgement but I wanted to give him something that wasn’t some stupid online gift card for his birthday and your company was one of the only ones that could deliver something on time. I shouldn't have waited so long to get him something so that part is really my fault. I take total responsibility for that.

Anyway, it wasn’t the most expensive belt I’d ever bought, but it turned out to be very good quality for fake leather and it really looked as nice in person at it did online. So, kudos to you for getting that part right.

When I gave Jeremy his gift, he was so excited when he saw the box you wrapped it in. I have to say, it’s a nice box, beautifully designed, very high end, just right. Again, bravo for that. It was exciting.

Well, anyway, to make a long letter short, Jeremy hated the belt. All of it.The color, the style, the buckle; he even hated how many holes it had. “How many holes does a belt need, seriously?” he said.

Let me say that frankly, I think it’s a stupid comment, In your defense,I did say, “You’re bitching about the holes? Really? What about the belt? Do you like it?”

“I don’t need a shoddy belt.”

"Just because it's not real leather doesn't mean it's 'shoddy.'

"What, it's fake too?" Then he really started yelling. “You want the truth? I think it’s a stupid thing and a stupid gift. And let me be really honest here, it’s totally not what I was hoping you’d give me, fake or real or whatever, okay?

Now, bear with me here because you don’t know anything about our relationship or anything about us. But for the last seven years, I have bought a list of things for Jeremy that (now that I think about it) kind of makes me sick. A car, a new wardrobe after he lost all that weight, and several trips to Europe.

 Which now gets me to thinking about our two-week trip to Italy a few years ago. I paid for the whole thing because Jeremy was between jobs and he'd never been to Italy, so I thought it would make him happy. I used to go there almost every summer with my father after my parents got divorced,(or should I say, after my mother sucked the life out of my poor father). So I know all the secret places to go in the off season, which is my favorite time to go.

Jeremy was miserable the whole time.

Him:  "I like to see other people when I travel. There's nobody here.”

Me:    That’s kind of the point.

Him: “This restaurant is almost empty. The food is probably terrible.”

Me:    It was perfect.

Him:  “I like to go places when it’s warmer.”

Me:   It would’ve helped if he’d brought the right clothes

for this time of year, which I warned him about before we left.

Almost the day we got back home, he ordered "Italian" food from his usual place. "This," he said, stuffing the last piece of rigatoni in his face, "is real Italian food. Sorry for not sharing, but I can't get enough of this."

There was the watch I gave him that had belonged to my great grandfather, which I happened to see on that antiques appraisal show on TV. Wouldn't you know, it was worth more than all the other gifts I’d given him put together? Two weeks after I gave it to him, he surprised me by modeling the new watch band he’d bought for it (something so much more modern and interesting). I wondered if the jeweler had happened to mention that the band was worth almost as much as the watch. Apparently not.

“He gave me a great deal,” Jeremy said. “A straight trade, the old band for this one. I mean seriously, how stupid is he?”

Anyway, the argument about the belt did not turn out well. Jeremy stuffed all his clothes into the only good suitcase I had left and stormed out of the apartment. I haven’t seen him since.

By now, I know you wonder where I'm going with this so here is what I'm asking: Because your belt is responsible for the breakup of what I think is (was?) a basically a good relationship (or in any case, a fixable one) I feel that you should refund me the $200 I paid for it. 

Thank you,

S.T.

P.S. I’ve just read over this letter to check for typos and bad grammar, and now I’m thinking that the one who’s acted pretty badly in all of this is actually Jeremy, am I wrong?

It’s not like this was a ‘big’ birthday, or that I don’t (didn’t) love him. At the very least, I guess you could say that Jeremy has some explaining to do, or to be harsh (realistic?) he doesn't (didn’t) love me at all. This is something my mother pointed out early on in our relationship, but I suspected her motives because she’s never liked to see me happy. At all. About anything.

The people I’m closest to didn’t like Jeremy either. My best friend Breanne told me things she’d heard him say about me to other people at parties, bad things when he had too much to drink, and even when he didn't. I stopped being friends with her. I miss her.

So here it is: Please accept my deepest thank you for bringing my bad relationship to an end. If it hadn’t been for your belt, I’d probably be online or in some expensive store buying something else for Jeremy right now. By the way, do you know that at one point, he was talking about us having kids together? Can you imagine?

I’ve just had the best idea. I think I’ll buy one of your $200 handbags and give it to my mother. Fingers crossed.

Best,

S.T.