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A weekly short story contest
Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.
Coming of Age
People of Color
Teens & Young Adult
We'll send you 5 prompts each week. Respond with your short story and you could win $250!
“Jane!” A voice bellowed from the recesses of the ship. “Where is my grapefruit?”“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” A voice echoed from the opposite direction.“My grapefruit, Jane! The one I specifically had my name on! The one you stole!”“First of all, why would you print your name on a freaking grapefruit? Second of all, if you didn’t want me to take it, you shouldn’t have put it in a community fridge.”“So you did take it!”“Why is this grapefruit so important, anyway?”“Do you kno...
Graham the Good Gremlin was born on Christmas Day.Do you know what a gremlin is, dear reader? A gremlin is a creature that often gets blamed when things go missing, for example socks from the washing machine. When the electric fuses blow, and then blow again, and no other reason can be found, a grown-up will often state that it's the gremlins. You get the idea.Although, grown-ups do not actually believe in gremlins at all. It is just their way of saying they do not have any other explanation. They think...
“Is it safe?” Mandy swirled the purple liquid around the bottom of her chipped mug. Then she lifted it to her face and sniffed. Her nose wrinkled. “Of course,” I assured her. “I tested it on Boris this afternoon.” Mandy looked over at my tiny teacup puppy. Boris gazed up at her with his big fluffy face and then proceeded to vomit large green chunks a...
The snow’s out again. Like a huge stupid blanket that insists on suffocating all mankind. Zenobia Harsch has always hated the weather. Winters, she wants the heat and the lemonades. Summers, she begs for snow and hearths and haute chocolát. Pull and complain and do it again, that’s Zenobia Harsch’s motto. She is a tall and imposing woman with raven hair and smeared eyebrows that pull on her face and make her look a constant frown. She noticed people’s feet first rather than...
"Alright guys, I got the beers so we can turn this sad, pathetic joint into–what the hell?" I frown as I look around the darkened room. No one's in sight. I glance at my watch. 4:30. I'm right on time, so where the hell is everybody? I didn't get the time wrong, did I? I whip out my phone, swipe right past the news alert about a serial killer on the loose and to the office feed where all events are posted. Yep, the party is scheduled for 4:30 exactly. So where the hell is everybody? Then I think back to what I saw on my ph...
I wonder if anyone else thinks like I do.Of course, thought processes are different in every person because of external reasons, such family, age, and gender. “And sometimes I speak.” I laugh at myself in the mirror, sticking my tongue out at my reflection. Girl, you look good today! Some things could be improved. And my eyes are still too small. Don’t get cocky. A knock sounds on the...
“Good morning, Retalers!” A voice boomed through the Mart as Brass worried about melting; either from the heat or from the eyes on him. His armor didn’t help, and he wished he could take out his helmet. “We would like to introduce a new member to the Mart. As we all know, Hugh has been having a rough couple of days. Last night, he had a conversation with a friend, the result of which is standing next to me.” The Black pointe...
‘Damn this store, damn this sale and damn these people!’ I thought to myself as I carried a large television through a tight knot of people. “Pardon me!” I called trying to make a gap in the crowd. A few people glanced in my direction but no one bothered to try and move out of the way. Finally, I was forced to attempt to squeeze through the tiny openings that appeared in the herd. I apologized to the people that I bumped into while swearing at them in my mind.
Hadashi had been sitting in his parents’ booth at the black market for what seemed like a decade, but in reality, it had only been 7 hours. Christmas was always great for the Kei family’s business, “Tree Bombs and the Sort”. They sold anything from exploding evergreens to machetes. This time of year, everybody wanted to kill somebody, and the Keis always had just the thing for the job. Hadashi had been in the booth all day and itching to do anything other than attend...
The clock read 9:26. Thirty-four minutes until closing time. Eloise looked awkward at the register. She was leaning on the edge of her stall, built too low to be leant upon comfortably, propping her head up with her hand. When her manager had threatened a lottery on Christmas Eve duties, Eloise had raised her hand to volunteer. She preferred the serenity of a late-night shift to the concocted merriment of the holidays. It was her family’s turn to host the entirety of the Pennywise clan. Uncles, aunts, and cousins ...
‘Ah, hello there,’ said a voice from above her. ‘This is Madame’s, yes?’Of course. It made sense. A customer would see the neon sign in front of the shop that announced that yes, this was indeed Madame’s, but would step inside and ask the question anyway. Why stop there? Why not make Isabel spell it out? Isabel kneaded the back of her neck for two more seconds and looked up, less to help, more to match the smell to its owner. Her hand flew to grip the end of the counter, and she managed to stay on her ...
‘Barb’ pinned the name tag she’d been forced to borrow after forgetting hers at home onto the poorly designed maroon and lime polyester shirt. One last tug to ensure the hairnet properly contained everything and she was ready for her shift. As ready as she ever was. Only twenty minutes after clocking in, she was cornered by the shift manager, Larry. He invaded her space ...
“I’d like to price match, those, please.” The woman in front of me pointed at the butter I had just scanned through. I stopped mid-scan on a loaf of bread. It scanned twice. I flinched, hit the void button and scanned it again. Repeated with the butter. Tried the price match, which of course did not go through. Called for an override via the speakers. Accidentally said “Override to lane three, please. Love you bye.” Blushed like mad. Laughed it off to the customer who was impatiently waiting. Explained the delay.
It was 9 AM on a Friday. Black Friday to be precise. Ruby was shaking in her boots, ready to be greeted with angry alchemists looking for bottles of immortality for 70% off. She was rummaging around the candlelit shop when she heard the bell of the door ring, signalling someone was there. She popped her heard over the counter slightly, causing a pile of spell books to fall off of the counter. She heard the person scoff, disgusted.“You should be more careful.” An old looking fairy cast a judgemental eye over at the teenage witch. Be...
"We at Smiley's Toys want to wish you a Smiley Christmas!" the giant green emoji shrieked from the great screens towering over the cavernous space. The sound surrounded the worker, the high-pitched voice of god emanating from the vast and well disguised speaker system covering every foot of the massive store.The neon green face smiled at her beatifically, the red stocking cap that marked the season hanging foppishly on its brilliant head. Three years working here and she still wasn't used to that emerald grin leering at her from ev...
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