71 comments

Apr 27, 2021

Adventure Fantasy Suspense

“Hey, get back here that’s mine!” screamed Raymond 

“So, what I have it now what are you going to do about it?” argued the punk that stole his book 

“I don’t have to do anything it’s a library book so the librarian will get you for it.” Raymond said 

At that point the punk got bored with the book and tossed it down at Raymond’s feet and went to bother someone else. What the punk didn’t realize is that Raymond had bought the book from the library a while ago at one of the library yard sales they have, but he wasn’t about to say anything because he loved that book.  

This book that Raymond got to reading taught him how to draw. He didn’t think he was good at anything, but slowly it taught him if you stick with it, you can do anything. He started small drawing little things here and there for his mother. He would draw flowers, butterflies, fruit, and other things. Then the next chapter got him into more elaborate things like bigger animals like horses and elephants. Raymond didn’t know if he should go on any further, but if he kept going, he could learn how to draw people and maybe impress the girl at school he liked. 

The book had notes in the side on how to do certain things and he followed the rules and it seemed to work. Maybe, he should find the people that checked out the book when it was a library book and they could help him even faster.  

Raymond went to the library and asked the librarian if they could tell him if they knew anyone that did check out that book, but of course it’s against policies to do that. She said that she did once and only advised me to keep going and I would soon be a great artist she was sure of it. 

There was a guy that kept watching me as I walked out and I was kind of concerned was he wanting to steal my book also? I mean jeez did I not read the whole thing and that’s what my problem is?  

As I walked down the road I looked back and the guy was seriously following me. I went to look back again and the guy grabbed me.  

“What do you want with me?” I asked 

“Do you still have the book? You should get rid of it! It will cause you great danger whether it’s sooner or later!! Get rid of it!” The guy warned me and then ran off 

Was this guy, right? Would it cause me great danger? Did he own this book and know it for sure? Did one of his family own it and he saw it happen? 

Maybe I need to somehow find this guy and then see what he knows and I can go from there. How would I find this guy anyway. Maybe, he would be at the library tomorrow.  

I went home and tried to see if there was anything I could find in the book that I missed that made that guy go crazy when he saw that book. 

I looked forward and backward, but saw nothing that could or would threaten my life. Was I missing something or was the guy trying to ruin my life? I don’t understand what’s going on here?  

I go back to the chapter I was on and continue to water animals. I guess they would be more intricate to draw than horses and yes, they were. I drew a whale, shark, dolphin seal and walrus. I only do one chapter a day so I can’t wait until tomorrow because that is people and I am so excited. 

I went to sleep thinking when I get home from school, I can learn how to draw people and then maybe Kelsey will fall head over heels in love with me when I draw a picture of her. 

Time went so slow at school that it was like I felt every minute go by. I wanted each class just to hurry up and it didn’t it went slower it seemed. Finally, school was over and I can get home. I can learn to draw and win over Kelsey.  

I got home and turned right to the chapter to for drawing people like I was drawn to it. Was this what that guy was talking about? I read what they said to do with drawing the lips, face, arms, legs and arms, just everything.  

I started drawing Kelsey and looked down when I was done. I felt so amazed like I couldn’t have done this it looked exactly like her like I had taken her picture instead of drawing it. How could I have done this? I couldn’t have done this? Did I fall asleep and someone put this here? I felt my arm moving. What's going on here?  

 I took that page off and tried again. I thought of someone else like my mom, my dad, even one of my teachers, but the picture of Kelsey kept coming to my mind. When I looked down, I had another picture of Kelsey done. How had I done this? It’s almost the same as the other one. Was my arm under some possession?  

I looked at the book closer and at the last page I was on had some kind of new printing on it.  

“As you finish this book you are now under the possession of Toika the master of drawing unless you can either make the person you draw from the book fall in love with you or you give the book to someone else then Toika will slowly ruin your life. Good Luck!” 

No wonder I felt a closeness to this book and felt the need to draw. I bet the guy that warned me to get rid of it had it happen to him or it happen to someone in his family. I wonder if I could find him in the library and ask him what happened. I could show him the pictures I drew and see if it was anything like that.  

I went to the library the following day which was the weekend thank goodness because I would hate to go to school and see what the book would have me do to Kelsey.  

Luckily, the guy was there so I walked up to him and as I did, he turned and around and told me to get away from him. I asked him to wait a minute because I needed to talk to him urgently. He turned around and said to put that book down and I would so I placed it in the aisle we were in and we went outside to talk. He said if you want that trouble to stay away from you then you read what you have to do right? I asked him if he meant the notes at the end because if so, I like the girl I drew, but I want her to like me for who I am not for her to be made to love me and I don’t want to push someone into trouble with the book. He said then I’m going to have a long regrettable life like he did and walked away. 

I didn’t know what to do at all. I walked back in the library to the aisle I left the book and it wasn’t there someone had taken it. Did a librarian think it was in the wrong place? Did someone take it and try to check it out? Where did it go? 

I went up to the librarian desk and ask what happened to it and one of them said an older kid had asked who’s it was and said that’s an old book of theirs that is no longer in the system so since it’s laying around, they could have it. I said okay I guess they could have it I was done with it anyway so thank you and went on my way. I didn’t mean to cause anyone trouble, but it is out of my hands I just wish that kid luck. 

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71 comments

Jade Young
11:09 May 01, 2021

This was a very well written and compelling story to read. The narrative style of your story captured the whole tell and not show type of feel. My only suggestion in terms of constructive criticism is that your story would've been enhanced with more direct dialogue rather than indirect dialogue through your natration. So for example, instead of saying he turns around and told her to go away, you could have said: As I walked up to him, he abruptly turned around to glare down at me "Get away from me," he spat out. Or something like that. Ba...

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00:01 May 02, 2021

Awesome! Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I have suggestions like this please keep going on all of mine! I'd appreciate it and I will definitely get to it ASAP.

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Jade Young
00:50 May 02, 2021

Sure thing😋 I'll review the rest of your stories as soon as I get up later today (it's 1am where I live). If it's not too much to ask, would you mind doing the same for the rest of my stories?

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01:41 May 02, 2021

I will sure do the best I can. I'm not as fast or well written as you so you'll be done in no time. Thanks!!!

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00:01 May 02, 2021

Awesome! Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I have suggestions like this please keep going on all of mine! I'd appreciate it and I will definitely get to it ASAP.

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00:01 May 02, 2021

Awesome! Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I have suggestions like this please keep going on all of mine! I'd appreciate it and I will definitely get to it ASAP.

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