Loki sat there on a chair at a desk, staring at the window in front of him. He couldn't believe his fate, the god of mischief, in some 16 years old mortal body, and not by choice, mind you. It was Odin the fucking allfather, he did this to him.
Loki huffed, blowing the strand of soft brown hair this mortal body had. Truthfully, as far as punishment goes, this one was far from the worst. However, he was bored, he was really, really bored, a god without his magic, his seidr, and the god of mischief nonetheless. How was he supposed to do mischief without his magic? Such a terrible fate.
Death from boredom, not the way he thought he would go, but here he was, staring out at some trees and metal vehicles these Midgardians called cars. Had his magic been accessible, he would've come up with some ideas, maybe turning some cars pink or making the trees talk, but definitely something.
He decided that wallowing in self-pity would not do him any good, so he closed whatever random book this mortal was reading before he got inside his body and left the room.
He was met with a nicely decorated living room. A middle-aged woman looked up from her food when he came out.
"Theo, darling, come eat breakfast with me." She said, motioning for him to sit on the chair next to her. This lady must be his mother, and Theo must be this mortal's name. Loki had visited Midgard a couple times during his years, and he had read many books in his past time, so he recognized the round brown thing on the plates in front of him, pancakes.
Well, while he's here, why not indulge in some local delicacies? He sat down next to the lady who was already taking some of the pancakes, Loki watched as she poured some brown substance—maple syrup if he recalled it right.
She then proceeded to push the plate in front of him. Loki stared at it for a second before picking up some utensils and digging right in. It was okay, good, even, though nowhere near as good as the stuff he usually conjured to eat. A sweet apple cake made with some stolen golden apples from Idunn's garden was one of his favorites. Ah, he wondered when would he be able to eat that again.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice a certain light-haired kid sitting across from him.
"Mom, why is Theo staring at his food like that?" A soft, girly voice asked.
Loki looked up, glancing between his "mom" and his... "sister"?
"It's okay, dear, he just broke up with his boyfriend, let him grief." Broke up? Boyfriend? Ah, this Theo guy was a homosexual. Loki himself wasn't so affixed by these sexualities thing, but the last time he was here on Midgard, a mortal he had an affair with was executed for his fleeting night of passion with Loki, another man—as far as those mortal concerned. He did make sure those men who had anything to do with it get what was coming for them though.
He smiled, knowing that this realm had changed for the better.
"Ah, no, mother, I am quite alright." Loki said, then he continued to eat his pancakes.
"Huh, if you say so, although it is odd that we didn't wake up to glitter all over the floor or getting served a literal sponge cake on April fools day, so unlike the disciple of the god of mischief." The lady replied. He knew what April fools was, of course, he himself had a hand in the creation of that day, and disciple of the god of mischief? Of Loki? Well, this was a pleasant surprise.
"Mother, the day has just begun, surely you did not think I was about to show all my tricks so early in the day? The trickster god would be disappointed had I done something so poorly planned." Loki sipped some tea that he just noticed was next to his plate.
"Theo... why are you speaking weirdly?" The little girl asked.
"I am not, darling. This is how a dignified disciple of the god of mischief should speak."
"Oh my god, he's totally lost it. Mom, find him a new boyfriend, quick!" Theo's little sister exclaimed. Loki gave her a death glare and she backed off. Their "mom" laughed at the spectacle her kids (kid and a disguised god) were making.
"Okay, disciple of Loki, time to go to school." Theo's mother said, Loki nodded.
"Are you going to take me there?" Loki asked, he didn't know which school this Theo is in. The lady looked at him weirdly.
"Dear, I'm pretty sure that school is still online." Online? Why? He hadn't been following recent news on Midgard and he had no idea that they had changed their education system. However, he did know that online means on the internet, with some device the mortals had come up with.
"Ah, right." Loki stood up and went back to his room, where this midgardian device most likely be.
He surveyed the room until he set his eyes on a silver laptop. It had a keyboard on it, that's how Loki figured that out. He stared at it for a moment before clicking some buttons, and it worked! The screen lit up, showing a picture of a raven haired male in an unusual green-black outfit, huh, this must be Theo's ex boyfriend.
The screen asked for a password though, so he typed Theo's name, but it didn't work, he tried password and 1234, but they didn't work either. While Loki was thinking what this mortal's password could be, the door popped open, showing a tiny human, Theo's sister.
"Brother! Can I join your class today??? Please, please, please, I'm so bored, here, I even brought you tea!" The little girl pleaded with her puppy eyes. Even a god as mischievous as Loki couldn't say no to those sparkly eyes.
"Sure, you can join me. Uh, do you happen to know the password? I couldn't recall what it was." Loki asked, he took the tea from his sister's tiny dainty hands and sipped it, before immediately spitting it right out. The girl burst out laughing.
"What on earth did you put in this thing? Why is it salty?!” Loki protested before he realized that he, the god of mischief himself, just got tricked by some seven year-old mortal. The girl laughed even louder at his words, Loki huffed.
“Theo, I can’t believe you fell for that three years in a row! Why don’t you ever learn? I thought you were the disciple of the god of mischief.” She finally said after laughing for a good minute. Loki was at loss of words, although on one hand, he was a little proud that this Theo seemed to have taught his sister some mischief.
“Alright, fine, you had your fun, now do enter my password please.” Loki replied, not really wanting to dwell on the fact that he just got owned by the kid.
“Gee, okay, how did you forget the name of your favorite raven haired god?” The girl rolled her eyes before typing Loki’s name.
This was... unexpected. This Theo seemed to be an actual follower of his, he never knew he had any, Odin and Thor had their fair share of believers, but nobody ever cared about Loki, he wasn’t like them, he wasn’t even Aesir, the body he was born with was cold and blue. Well, this was good news, he was starting to like this Theo person.
“Well, I’m off, I don’t really want to listen to your boring engineering stuff.” Theo’s sister said before exiting the room.
Well, he still had to figure out how to get to his online school. He clicked on some keys, but nothing happened, he then noticed the square thing underneath the keyboard, he ran his fingers on it and something small and white moved on the screen, then he moved the thing to one of the icons he saw on the screen, nothing happened. He tried clicking one of the squares underneath it and something popped out on the screen.
“Google” was written on the screen, below it was a magnifying glass in some long oval shape. He tapped the google writing but nothing happened. He tried the magnifying glass and a list of words appeared beneath it.
Loki read the list from the top, “How to get over a break up”, “How to stop being depressed”, “What is the meaning of life”, “Why am I sad all the time”, it just kept getting worse, and the last one even said “How to get out of an abusive relationship”. Loki felt bad for this guy.
Then some notifications popped out on the screen.
Theo, why aren’t you in the meeting??
Dude, wake up! Mr. Johnson is calling random people’s names!!!!
Oh, right he had to join the class. But how? Ugh if he had his magic this would take no time. Well, if he had magic he wouldn’t be in this position.
Then another one popped up, it was from someone called “babe ❤️” was this his ex boyfriend?
Darling, I know last night must have been an early April fools joke, right? I know you still love me
Theo reply me
I’m serious, how dare you do this to me? I wasted so much time on you!!
Theodore! You’ve always told me you love me, what the hell were you thinking, saying all those things to me??
I only hit you ONCE! And that was because you didn’t do what I told you to! That was your own fault!
Yep, definitely his ex.
Loki tapped the notification box and read some of the messages between them. The guy’s name was Roy, he was so violent and he definitely didn’t care about Theo. Loki came to the conclusion that he would very much like to deliver the same lesson that he taught the men who killed his one night partner nearly a century ago to this guy.
Good morning to you too, dear
Loki sent the message
Theo? Last night was a joke, right?
The guy replied
Of course, darling. It was definitely a joke, in fact, I’ll send you a gift to make up for it
He smiled at the thought of this guy opening his “gift”.
Oh, thanks babe, I know you wouldn’t do that to me, you wouldn’t dare, not with me knowing what I know about you
Was that blackmail? Whatever, Loki needed to work on this gift from hell. He might not have his powers right now, but he was still Loki, the god of mischief, and he was still a parent of the goddess who runs hell.
He looked around the room, ideally he would use his signature leather and a snake venom to write these, but he couldn’t see either here, so a paper will do. He took a sheet of paper, then he looked around to find something sharp, he found some kind of retractable blade and slit his wrist to draw blood. The mortal’s blood was red and quite runny, he used the blood to write the necessary runes.
He stared at the paper for a few moments, he knew it would work, he knew Hel would recognize these runes. Soon enough, the blood on the paper dried up, and Loki found an envelope on the shelf next to him, so he folded the paper and put it in there. He even added “happy April fools” on the envelope.
He smiled at his beautifully crafted one way ticket to hell. Now all he had to do was give this letter to Roy. He saw an address amidst the messages he read between Theo and Roy, so he just needed to get there. Will Theo’s mother take him there?
Loki almost forgot the open wound on his wrist. He decided to just put a jacket on to cover it, then he came out to find the lady from before.
Thankfully, she was exactly where he left her.
“Mother, would you like to help me to Roy’s residence?” Loki said without hesitation. Theo’s mom looked up with a weird expression.
“Didn’t you break up? And you have class!” She protested.
“You’re right, it’s just that there’s something I need to give to him, and the professor canceled the class. Please take me there?” Loki skillfully reasoned. The lady looked concerned but she agreed.
Th trip was short, and Loki found himself at Roy’s doorstep. He knocked on the door.
A few seconds later a tanned skin man appeared, it wasn’t the guy on the background of Theo’s device.
“Theo? Come on in, I didn’t think you would come here yourself.” Roy said.
“Where is my gift? Is it on you? Or... is it in you?” He said in a disgusting manner. Loki stepped in anyway, he handed the letter to him as soon as the door was closed.
“A letter? How romantic.” Roy said in a mocking way, he opened it without a second thought, and soon enough the runes activated themselves. A dark red glow from the runes took over their sight.
“Wha—what is happening? Theo don’t mess wit—“ Roy couldn’t even finish his sentence before his body got disintegrated.
“I’m listening...” Loki said for his own amusement. Of course Roy couldn’t say a word, but another voice did say something.
“You owe me a wolf fur jacket for that one.” Hel’s voice roamed through the room.
“And what the hell are you doing here anyway? Don’t tell me you fell for Odin’s old trick.” Odin’s old tr—oh.
Of course, he fell for Odin’s little prank. It was April fools, after all. By the way, that oaf was never strong enough to take Loki’s power from him, he didn’t realize it earlier. He sighed, how could he be so gullible? He was losing his edge.
Loki then summoned his powers, after that he slowly extracted his mind off the mortal’s body.
Soon enough, he was back in his own body, and Theo was back in his.
“Uh, why am I in Roy’s house? And who are you?! Are you a robber?” Theo frantically put his hands up to protect himself.
“You do not recognize your own god, my dear disciple?” Loki asked, he stared at Theo’s face, it was actually quite beautiful, his brown hair and his freckles.
“What? Don’t say weird things, dude. Who are you? What are you doing here? And what the hell is this strange dust?”
“I’m Loki, the god of mischief, how could you not know me? They said you were my disciple. Oh, and I was just sending your ex to Hel, hence the dust.” Loki answered casually. The mortal’s eyes went wide.
“No, I heard you the first time around, but you really expected me to believe that?” Theo asked.
“Well, it’s the truth. You’re welcome, by the way. Now that I’m done, I’ll go away, you go back to school, okay? Be a good boy, your abusive ex boyfriend would never bother you again, oh, and maybe I’ll visit sometime to check up on you.” Loki replied sweetly, he had to admit that he felt a tiny bit of fondness for the guy after spending a few hours in his body.
Loki didn’t wait for Theo to respond before teleporting back to his own house. Ah, how nice, finally back in his own crib.
Theo saw the man disappeared right in front of his eyes, what was that? Was it really Loki? How did he know about his abusive ex?
He took a look at the floor and realized that there was a paper on the ground. He picked it up and read it.
Yes, it’s your god, Loki. I just wanted to let you know, if you need help you can write these runes on a paper and I’ll come help, you are my first known believer.
Until next time, Loki.
So it was actually Loki? Loki was real? What the hell?
Theo was confused, but he heard a car horn, so he got out to see his mother right there. He got in and his mother took him home.
His room was a mess, and it looked like there really was someone else here, as he didn’t recall anything until he was at Roy’s house.
He opened his laptop and saw the messages Loki had sent earlier. Well he knew he didn’t send it.
So it must actually be Loki.
Ah, how nice. He actually existed, and he cared to help a disciple of his out. Well, that was sweet, he wanted to thank him. Maybe later he would write the runes and see if it worked.
For now, though, he had to go to his online class, then think about a good prank for his beloved friends and family. He was a disciple of the god of mischief, after all.