The Mystery Of The Neighbors (Wasn't Able To Finish.)

Submitted for Contest #85 in response to: Write about someone fighting to change their city neighborhood for the better.... view prompt

62 comments

Mar 20, 2021

Coming of Age

THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. 



Author’s note: This story is dedicated to Lone Wolf, who was the first to request to be in a story. They didn’t request a person to be with so there will be a Mom & a dad. Also, this story is not meant to be racist towards anyone. One of the fictional characters is just quite...Sassy. 



           “Chop chop, hun. It’ll be alright. Just a quick move.” Mom tsked and beckoned to me. I groaned unhappily.                   

          “But Mom!” I stubbornly throw my head back. “I’ve lived at Trikcon for years!” Mom shook her head sadly.

“I know, sweatpea, but its for the best. Dad has to move away because he got fired, remember?” I nod. “So we have to move with him. I don’t have enough time to work.” Mom clicked her tongue impatiently, grabbing a hold. of my hand, and leaving me no choice. 

          “Ugh.” I mumble. “I don’t have a choice, do I?” 

“Yes, Tianla.” Mom agreed, locking the front door and leaving it for someone else entirely new. My name is Tianla Lone Wulf-I’m a 12 year old who doesn’t want to move from a very nice house I’ve lived in for years.

   I was bedgrungyling trudging alongside my Mom, walking towards the bright yellow taxi of doom. 


               ***



   “Do you like it?” I stared at the tan colored house with magenta shutters, door, and railing. I glanced behind at the other houses. 

   “Mom, why are all the house’s the name?”

   “Well, I suspect it’s the desgin,” Mom replied happily, although I couldn’t press down the small feeling off suspicousness. I glanced at Dad struggling with the luggage. 

   “Fredricka! Why’d you have to pack so much clothing?!” Dad teasingly said. Fredricka-or my mom smiled. 

   “You’d never understand a womans like for fashion.” Mom unlocked the door and stepped inside. 

   “Woah.” Try not to woah at a 2 story house that has to be at least 20 feet tall. At the very top was a chandiler that sparkled in the afternoon sun. The floor was tiled with a tan color speckled black. The whole place was completelty empty. I walked into the living room to discover four windows- two on the left and two on the right that was high up. Perhaps ⅔’s the way up. There was a patio door that led to a lucious field of perfectly trimmed grass.

   “Opinions?” Mom asked. 

   “I like it so far. When’s the furniture coming?” I inquired, tapping the bronze colored wooden floor. 

   “The movers will be here in a day or two, so for now we’re going to be living at a hotel. Tomorrow we can meet the neighbors and get to know them.” Mom explained her plan. 

   “Do I get my snow-globes back, too?” I was a snow-globe collector. Mom nodded.

   “Yes, hun. Although, I don’t see what’s so special about gl-”

   “Fredricka! Come help me with the luggage!” Since we were only going to be staying at the hotel for a day, my mom figured that we could unpack some clothing to save time. Mom hurridly left, grinning to herself. 

   Oh well.

   Mom was Mom.

   Dad was Dad. 

   And I?

   I was I.




                  ***



   “Hi, Mrs. and Mr. Winster. My name is Kelly McKen, you can call me Kel for short!” Kelly Mcken, or should I say Kel was the principal. She had that broad, shining smile. Sadly, this school had school uniforms. 

   Kel was wearing a light pink blouse with a white skirt. She had knee-length long white socks and pink high-heels. That’s what all female teachers looked like. 

   “At Hilton-High, we’re here to help your child learn more!” Kel exclaimed. “Come, allow me to show you around.” And with that, she grabbed my mom and dad’s hand and pulled them with her. I tuned out for most of it, glancing around occasionally. 

   I was able to pick up whispers-(Thank my ears for that.)

   “...New kid…?”

   “...Boy or girl….?”

   “...Assuming it’s a she, is she ugly…?”

   “....Would she be popular…?”

   I was half tempted to jump at them and scream: “I am the new kid! No, I am not ugly. Yes I am a girl!” But I kept quiet, avoiding anyone’s gaze. 

   The pupil’s school uniforms were a completely different story. 

   The girl’s were wearing a plaid long sleeve shirt with a white skirt and black boots. The boys were wearing a black tie over a blue suit and black converse sneakers. 

   “Good morning, Mrs. Mcken.” They all said in sync when Mrs. Mcken walked by, but then the whispers started again. Kel, or Mrs. Mcken smiled that sweet poisonous smile. 

   There was just something about this school, something...Unsettling as if…

   “Tianla!” Mom called. “C’mere!” I forgot about my thoughts and rushed to my mom. “This is your class.” 

   The classroom was perfect. I was glad everyone was out in the hallway otherwise 13 pairs of eyes would’ve been staring at me. 

   “Great.” I muttered at the perfectly shaped desks that were perfectly cleaned. The floor sparkled brightly. 

   “Amazing, isn’t it? We spend quality time cleaning!” Kel exclaimed, clapping her hands. “Now, come this way…I’d like to show you something…”

   “I need to pee,” I announced.

   “Can’t it wait?” Kel asked. Mom gave Kel a weird look. “Pardon me, where are my manners? You may go. The bathroom is down the hall to the left.” I had seen the bathroom. Why’d Kel gone cross when I’d asked to pee? Peeing was nature. I hurried down the hall.


               ***

   When I arrived back with Mom and Dad, they seemed in kind of a...Daze. Like Kel- glass-eyed, back straight, walking in a straight line, and all that other perfect stuff. 

   “Er...Where’d you show ‘em?” I questioned. 

   “The-uh-boiler room,” Kel explained. 

   “Boiler-?”

   “I mean the baby room.”

   “Wh-?”

   “Anyways! I hope you enjoyed this tour! See you next time!” Kel smiled that sweet-hate smile and ushered us out the door. 

   This seemed like a good place. Just….I couldn’t quite place my foot on it. 



               ***


   “Hi! My name is Okami Washani. I’m japanese, so that’s why the name and all.” Okami was the girl sitting next to me, she was directed to help me because it was my first day at school. “Don’t mind the stares, they're just jealous.”

   “Jealous…?”

   “Not many people come to this school,” Okami explained, getting out her math book. “We’re always excited whenever someone new comes.” Okami seemed nice...She didn’t have that creepy stare my parents had developed. Oh dear. I hope my parents weren’t gonna be Kel 2.0. What a nightmare. 

   “Anyways, yeah, that’s it.” Okami had told me something and I was too busy wrapped up in my thoughts to listen.

   “Oh, sorry, what?”

   “Ugh, americans!” Okami growled.

   “Actually-I’m not ameri-”

   “I was explaining our schedule!” She spaced each word out as if I didn’t know english. I nod. “Figure the rest out yourself!” Okami grumbled, whipping around to focus on her math. I thought the students here was perfect, not sassy.

"Okami, would you please answer question 2, A?" The teacher, Mrs. O'leary asked, pushing her glasses up. Okami blinked.

"Sorry? I was too busy helping her to listen," wow. So much for the compliment.

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62 comments

01:24 Mar 22, 2021

Hey, Blxxii! Some, uhm, I know I’m now being downvoted nearly as much as you, but I just lost 200+ points soooo...would you mind upvoting me a lil’ too?? Totally fine if you’re busy lol. Thanks anyway!

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Sure! Spam 200 please.

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Oh, haha, I did like 90 in another thread, so idk if you still want me to do it here, but yea :)

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Hmm?? Wut?? Btw thank you so much for upvoting!!! And aw, thanks for putting me in your bio, love you <3

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Love ya too :)

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New comment thread! Hiyaaaa!

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20:25 Mar 20, 2021

it's kinda sad, bc i was up-voting you, and then i look at the points, and they are only going down :((( I sorry, there isn't much more I can do, and as I said before, I don't want points, and idc if they slip away. I am sorry that they are making you feel down, and if there is anything i can do to raise some spirits (Like throw random quotes from the internet at you), then pls let me know <3

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Yesh-please throw some quote at me :)

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20:51 Mar 20, 2021

alright :) "Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions don't matter. You stay kind, committed to love, and free to your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don't you dare doubt your worth or beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you do." -Pinterest

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Aww :) I love how it says "-Pinterest." That just cracked me up for some reason. Another please??

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20:58 Mar 20, 2021

okay "Give. But don't allow yourself to be used. Love. But don't allow your heart to be abused. Trust. But don't be naive. Listen. But don't lose your voice." -Also Pinterest

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More Pinterest quotes please :DDDD

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I was sadly never able to FINISH the story 'cuz it was approved, but here's how it'd go: So basically there's this comet thing that everyone goes out to watch, and it happens once year, and when you see the comet, you become under control of it-like as it's "minons." And everyone was going to see the comet, but Tianla (main character.) Couldn't go see it because she was in the bathroom. So SHE'S the only one not under the comet-spell etc, etc.

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Keya M.
00:59 Mar 21, 2021

Hey there Blixxi, I don’t know, you but I’ve read some of your work. I just wanted to say that you are very talented and the downvoter messing with your points is a awful person. I’ll be upvoting you now 👍 and I hope you get your points back, because you deserve them.

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Meera Lakshmi
13:36 Mar 22, 2021

Hey. I am gonna upvote you. I found you from Aerin. She had a notice in her bio to try and upvote you. Would you mind also upvoting me?

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Sophie L
22:19 Mar 20, 2021

This is wonderful. It makes me wonder why the principal and the students are a bit aggressive to her. I love the ending. Okami is sus. So is the principal. Basically, everybody is. Please write more. P.S. I do swimming too. I like butterfly and freestyle the most. I usually do the 100 IM when swimming because I'm a juvenile and the 200 IM is a bit too much for me.

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Keefe Sencen
20:29 Mar 22, 2021

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16:20 Mar 22, 2021

Alrighty. Be prepared for a million K points, ‘cause imma spam you... Hehe! XD

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But I must upvote YOU. You were downvoteddd!!!

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16:37 Mar 22, 2021

Wait, I was? Oof. XD

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16:07 Mar 22, 2021

OHHHHHHH, THOSE STINKIN’ DOWNVOTERS! BIG MEANIES! GRRRRRRRR! LEMME AT ‘EM-!

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I'd be happy to let you at them.

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16:39 Mar 22, 2021

I seriously wish you could see who did what on the account. Like, it doesn’t keep a list of who liked a story and stuff, and it’d be sooo great to know who the downvoters are, too... Hm...

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Same! I wish too :)

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20:57 Mar 22, 2021

OMG, I JUST READ THROUGH ALL OF YOUR STORIES AND THEY’RE AMAZINGGGGGGGG

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WAIT-REALLY??!! OH MAH GAWD-TANK U!!!

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20:50 Mar 21, 2021

Nice pfp :)

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Meera Lakshmi
23:10 Mar 25, 2021

#StopDownvotingNow Share this with 10 friends!

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Meera Lakshmi
02:33 Mar 26, 2021

Yay! Also can you take a look at my latest submission?!!

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Meera Lakshmi
02:35 Mar 26, 2021

😊

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Please don't take offense from my comments.

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Meera Lakshmi
16:57 Mar 24, 2021

Blixxi? we both have the same amount of points. I got downvoted again. same with you. I am getting really sad. I came here since you seemed nice and I just don't know what to do. I love reedsy so so much. But this whole karma thing is getting out of hand. Please give me some advice.

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Heya! I understand that your getting downvoted, but you are upset. Please read the following below. (I'll upvote you later.) When I was downvoted 1k points, I was sad, mad, and all those jumbleed feelings. But later on, a lot of people came to me saying: "Look, I know your really mad and all at the downvoters. But aren't they just points? Aren't they just numbers? Do they really define how much of a good writer you are?" After reading a few, I thought about it and thought: "Karma points ARE just numbers. They DON'T define you writing-in fa...

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Meera Lakshmi
20:28 Mar 24, 2021

No. Not at all. Thank you.

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Chloe Hanna
16:33 Mar 23, 2021

I really love the dialogue in this, it felt very realistic, I became very emersed in the story, great job!

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Thank you! I am so sorry I didn't get to finish it.

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Chloe Hanna
17:06 Mar 23, 2021

no problem! I look forward to what your going to write next :)

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02:55 Mar 23, 2021

awwwwww <3333333 that's really kind of you <333 I can't express my love for this enough!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍 but I will still try :) T H I S I S R E A L L Y A M A Z I N G ! ! ! super duper job!!!! "“Woah.” Try not to woah at a 2 story house that has to be at least 20 feet tall. At the very top was a chandiler that sparkled in the afternoon sun. The floor was tiled with a tan color speckled black. The whole place was completelty empty. I walked into the living room to discover four windows- two on the left and two on the right that was high up....

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15:29 Mar 23, 2021

:3 welcome :)

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17:08 Mar 23, 2021

how have you been?

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Wow. This is great! And the only stereotypes aren't rude or insulting, they're mildly funny and sweet.

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W.W. Skybelle
13:26 Apr 02, 2021

I’m so late to this! I’m so, so sorry! I NEED to know what happens next! I know you’ve written the summary of what happens next in the comments, but I still want it written out! Maybe do a part 2? I love the descriptions. And the plot and details had me hooked. The “boiler room” comment and Tianla’s (what a nice name) parents being “dazed” had me curious about why that happened. The principal also gets on my nerves. Is she brainwashed by some sort of evil force from outer space? My only critique is that there are a few errors here and there...

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Ari Reynes
21:10 Mar 31, 2021

New story!

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Did I tell you we found one of the downvoter(s)?

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Ari Reynes
23:34 Mar 31, 2021

I read the story.

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Ari Reynes
21:32 Mar 24, 2021

New story.

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Ari Reynes
16:55 Apr 01, 2021

New story!

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