11 comments

Mar 13, 2021

Thriller Adventure Crime

Author's note: I want to apologize in advance because this story isn't the best. I ended it early because in my mind it worked out perfectly but I couldn't execute it the correct way. This isn't my favorite story, and I was on a time crunch as well. I'm going to be working harder on the next prompt to provide more quality stories. This story just sucked, and I'm surprised if you read it at all. Again, my apologies if you continue to read!!!

An old luminous creaky police shack stood eerily a mile from the Alverson house. Spiney moss traveled up the brick sides to the roof, looking as if shrubbery was a fashion statement. The ramshackle police station has software and up-to-date technology behind the fallen facade. Inside the 1970s building was police rushing about, doing their daily duties, most in uniforms harboring shiny metallic medals offered by the town. “We need to get viewing these tapes, they are vital information on the Alverson family’s disappearance,” boomed chief Megellan. After hearing the angry authority in the chief’s voice the crew kicked it into higher gear to get the conference room into order to view tapes retrieved from the crime scene. Chief Megellan smiled within himself to see the team breaking down at his orders. Must just be a perk of being a power-hungry boss, the chief smiled again. When the majority of the team was in the conference room, Chief made his way to the entrance.

A projector hung tightly from the ceiling, flashing a bright light into the middle of a white-washed wall. Depicted in the light was a freeze-frame of a peach-colored living room, harboring common household items like a flat-screen and couches. Among the household items was a beautiful healthy family watching what seemed to be the New Year’s Eve festival coming to a close. “Everyone takes your seats, we are going to begin this viewing,” instructed 2nd in command Officer Strope. The middle-aged grouped made their way to plastic-backed chairs and got comfortable, some holding pop cans in their hands, some waiting with wonder and curiosity sparkling in their eyes. “Thank you, Officer Strope,” commented the Chief before continuing, “We have retrieved a box tape of a year’s worth of footage from the Alverson family’s hidden camera in the corner of their house. We need to go through every single second of this footage to ensure that the middle son wasn’t murdered. The incident looked as if it could have been a suicide but we can’t take any chances.” Blinking eyes flashed back at the chief signaling they were ready to view the footage. Chief Megellan hobbled to the back of the stuffy room and resumed the footage. In the loudspeakers noisemakers and popping, confetti blasted from them, signaling the end of a ball drop.

January 1st 2020; 12:00 AM

As soon as the ball finished the descent to the ground the Alverson family hooted and hollered, with wishings of a better year. Mrs. and Mr. Alverson pushed against each other for a moment sharing an intimate kiss for good fortune. Misty was on the plush carpet with imagination swirling through her head as she played with various different colored toys, whilst a teenage boy typed away on a cellular device. Similar scenes of making out and intimate relations flashed on the television with pieces of ribbon drifting in the background. “This year is going to be immaculate compared to last year,” the mother from the couch promised emptily. “Doubt it,” muttered the teen boy in his immersion. “Mason Alverson that is not the spirit to be in,” frowned the mother. 

January 31st 2020; 4:00 PM

An inaudible conversation was being shared between the 2 parents about something that seemed to of more importance than the spectacle shining on the flat-screen. When Misty appeared in a red velvet dress the couple stopped their incentive chatter and gave polite compliments to their beautiful little girl. The red dress stopped shortly below the toddler’s knees and harbored on her feet were shoes of like color. Mr. Alverson picked her up by the waist and swung her around in a circular motion in awe of the small child’s beauty. When taking a better look at the father he was also wearing a tuxedo and black shoes that shined like dark rubies. “I have to take a picture of this duo,” smiled Mrs. Alverson cheekily. Mrs. Alverson ran out of sight before reappearing with a Canon camera clasped with an extended lens. A bright flash and soon after the couple left, which was late announced to be a father-daughter ball being held at the local school. 

January 31st 2020; 6:00 PM

“I’m assuming you’re too old to dance with your own mother,” laughed Mrs. Alverson silently wishing she could have a dance with her son. “Who made this statement,” smiled Mason. “Okay Google, play Don’t Blink by Kenny Chesney,” he ordered. “Okay playing Don’t Blink by Kenny Chesney. Playing on Spotify,” came a robotic voice from a circular device. The soft music drifted from the speaker and touched the souls of the dancing duo that night. Dancing slowly to the rhythm not a care in the world. Every other verse Mason would attempt to spin his mother in a circle like his father had taught him, making her giggle each time. “I love you dearly, Love,” smiled the mother when the song had finally ended. “I love you too mama,” crooned Mason.

February 14th, 2020; 3:00 PM

The entrance from the living room creaked open and a mystified Mason strode through, smiling like a lovesick puppy. Clutched in his dominant hand was a handwritten note, which he read with great care, digesting each word. “Finally,” he whispered. The paper was lined with hearts of different shapes and sizes, with even line spacing between them. “Whatcha got there bud,” teased Mr. Alverson. “Nothing of your concern,” grouched Mason before shoving the Valentine in his jeans pocket.

April 28th, 2020; 5:00 PM

Misty sat on the brown couch watching a purple monkey dance around chanting ridiculous names gaily in the hopes of earning money. Misty drifted her gaze to the front door when a doorbell chimed loudly, hurling high-pitched frequencies through the house. A well-dressed Mason dashed to the door, and standing outside was another teenage girl dressed in a short dress and black pumps. Mason nearly melted to the floor with the sight of her, eyes not wavering from her luscious face. The waning sun spanned over her body like some kind of goddess emerging from the depths of light. Not hesitating for another second, Mason handed her a small gift bag containing something unknown. Without much more the couple left the house as soon as the female teenager had entered.

July 18th, 2020; 12:00 AM

Looking almost like intruders in their own house, Mason snuck past the glow of the tv and made his way to the couch, his assumed girlfriend following. When snuggled firmly on the couch the couple instead of doing acts of love lay there holding each other in their arms fully immersed in themselves. “I love you, Lanna,” Mason crooned. “Love you too,” she whispered back. The conversation between the 2 teens ranged from how teenage love felt almost silly and the plans for the near college future. The conversation seemed to continue for hours before the couple slowly drifted to sleep.

August 30th, 2020; 3:30 AM

A metaphorical demon lurked in the throat of Mr. Alverson as he was thrust awake from the depths of sleep. A raging coughing fit forced blood to omit from his lungs. Mr. Alverson rushed himself to the empty black bathroom where he continued to spew blood like a monster who guzzled human brains for a food source. The shadows of a hunched adult danced on the linoleum as if taunting his existence. As if foreshadowing his death. When returning to the living room Mr. Alverson pressed the back of his forehead against the length of his forehead and reeled as if touching a hot stove. All throughout the eerie silence of the night, Mr. Alverson tossed and turned with great might on the hand-crafted couch stirring in his sleep if he happened to catch any. All too soon the night vanished and so did the fatherly spirit, taking his fever and sickness with him.

August 31st, 2020; 8:00 AM

Mrs. Alverson walked into the living room, released a big yawn, and rubbed her eyes. The first thing she noticed about the off morning was her husband lying on the couch face down in his own sweat. “Honey,” there was a quiver in her voice. Frantically picking up her phone, there seemed to be a hand squeezing her throat forcing blood from her lungs. Flashes of light pierced her eyes before falling to her knees. A large pounding force behind her now red flesh was all she felt before dropping cold to the ground, ending her half-hour of suffering. Descending the stairs, Mason omitted the same yawn of his dead cold mother. Back turned to the living room he disappeared, but minutes later reappearing and noticed to his horror a pair of dead parents laying in his living room. Gagging at the smell of decomposing bodies in rapidly increasingly summer heat, Mason wretched and ran to the nearest bathroom relieving himself of liquid horror. Not knowing any more options, Mason scribbled a quick note and left the room, only returning with a small-caliber pistol. Holding the foreign object in his hand he pressed the trigger and released himself of the living atrocity before him.

Janurary 1st 2021; 12:00

No sounds rang out from the tv signaling the end of the horrific Alverson year. The Alverson house is barren of inhabitants for months. A police force stormed into the house with good reason and did a thorough search of the premises before discovering the hidden camera in the painted corner of the barren living room.

A black screen filled the center of the wall, and the cadets stared in wondrous disbelief. This simple video clip tarnished any ideas of a murderous virtue. The task force now understood the origin of the mysterious virus now raging through the country like some sort of invisible army. The Alverson family was the first of many victims to witness the virus firsthand. “Case closed,” muttered the chief on the verge of busting the Salt Lakes behind his eyes, in fear of letting it pour over onto his plump cheeks.

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11 comments

Malini S.
07:28 Mar 18, 2021

I've read both your stories and firstly, I want to say that I am in absolute love with the way you detail your sentences - all the adjectives and words used paints a beautiful setting and scene to visualize. You've got an amazing talent for details. The plot was quite interesting as well. The only advice I would give is to try to split your paragraphs into smaller, more-readable sentences. I suggest looking at this article, this link really helped me starting out. https://book-editing.com/start-paragraph-fiction/ Keep writing, you're doin...

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Kaleigh Montague
13:25 Mar 18, 2021

Thank you! Yeah, I have realized that my paragraphs are rather long. I will be checking out this article! Thanks for the feedback and help! One day, when I have time, I'm going to go through and read a good majority of the stories of the people who commented or liked my submissions. I will leave comments and feedback if it needs it! Thank you for your appreciation!

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Malini S.
12:29 Mar 22, 2021

You're welcome! Will read your new story too soon when I have time, looking forward to it :))

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Kaleigh Montague
12:44 Mar 22, 2021

No rush though! I worked really hard on that other story, and I hope you enjoy it!

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Eleanor Eclipse
13:25 Mar 15, 2021

Okay, this story was PHENOMINAL! I loved every second of it, and I felt like I was there in the story. This was awesome. :)

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Kaleigh Montague
19:12 Mar 15, 2021

Thank you! I really appreciate it. I just hated this one for some reason. This one wasn't my favorite but thank you for your appreciation nonetheless!

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Eleanor Eclipse
19:22 Mar 15, 2021

Yeah I know the feeling.

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11:02 Apr 10, 2021

It is magnificent story, brilliant and unforgettable good, perhaps the best. The great applause for Mr. Mason

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Kaleigh Montague
17:36 Apr 10, 2021

Mr. Mason? Sorry I'm a little confused.

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18:05 Apr 06, 2021

So cool! Your tone is literally nothing like anyone else's I've seen (okay... probably not, but like STILL such a good tone!) and I need to commend you on that. It kinda gives me the vibes of those songs that are nearly a story. Does that make sense?

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Kaleigh Montague
18:09 Apr 06, 2021

Again thank you for the compliments! This story I didn't like as much, but thank you nevertheless! I'm going to try and read a good majority of your stories today if I find the time. Also I'm thinking about expanding that Infinite Reigns of Tim story to give the characters more meaning and to give more understanding about the restaurant as well!

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