Mar 07, 2021

Fiction Friendship Sad

Author's Note: This may be bad because I wrote almost all of it at midnight. But it's the quickest I ever finished a story. Anyway, thanks for reading! Have a fantastic day!


Nothing has been the same since you left. 


After I went through the five stages of grief, as they call them, each step blurred together by the tears, I was numb. I didn’t heal, I just got better at hiding the pain. The therapist I talk to online every week has tried to help, telling me I must learn to see the brighter aspects of my life. But I’ve found my own ways to cope. 


I try to keep the memories of you out of my head, despite how impossible that has proven to be. How can I love something so much, when it brings me so much pain? I don’t know. Maybe if you were here you could help me understand.


I want to forget, to spare myself the struggle, but everything I see these days reminds me of you. The embroidered bracelet you gave me that you crafted in summer camp, I still wear it around my wrist. 


Without you, every color seems a little dull. Mixing together into a bleary grey. The cereal I eat for breakfast tastes bland, and the crossword puzzles on the box are no longer so exciting.  


The greek myths I loved to read no longer capture my attention the same way they did when you were here. I resonate with the gods and goddesses in a different way than I used to. Hades, the god of the underworld. Ares, the god of war. Nyx, the goddess of night. Oizys, the goddess of misery, grief, anxiety, and depression.


The paintings I always loved look different than when you were here. Especially the abstract ones. Somehow the shapes find a way to taunt me. Their innocent curves and edges forming haunting scenes of death in my cursed mind. 


I can’t make it through school without you, all it is is one missing assignment after another. When I turn in one late project, five more take its place. Without your help, I’m struggling to keep up.


The first week after you left, when our school was still going to class online, I hid behind the screen. I would keep my face showing, trying to be a perfect student, until thoughts of you started to creep up. I would flip off my camera then, concealing the tears welling up in my eyes.


And when I fall asleep at two o’clock in the morning, my night filled with restless tossing and turning under the blankets, my pillow is soaked in tears. The barriers I’ve put up in my mind to try to keep your ghost out aren’t strong enough. 


I’ve started a new project, though. If I’m lucky, it might give me a head start on moving on. To make it at all possible. 


A quilt. 


I have six squares hand sewed already, and many more to come. Six pictures representing our time together, and all that will come next. They each bring back dreaded memories, but maybe they’ll help me sort through things.


The first square? A plump, juicy lemon, flawlessly sliced. Each wedge of the lemon perfectly lined up. Zig zagging in a circle. 


In honor of all the memories I have with you where we set up a picnic on the bridge over the river near our home. Snacking our bright orange carrot sticks, salty crackers, and cheese as we watched the currents rush by barely a few feet beneath our bare toes.


Holding clear plastic cups filled with lemonade, our favorite refreshing drink. The sticky sugary syrup coating our lips as we grinned, laughing and joking about the events of the past week. The sun reflecting off the ice in our cups, turning the surface a shiny silver color.


I won’t give up that memory.


The second square, a scallop shell. Magnificent rich colors of red, orange, and yellow contrasting against the pearly white. Reminding me of the countless trips we spent on the beach, running through the sand until the tide retreated and the sun set before our eyes.  


The salty ocean waves washing over our feet as we made our way down the shore, bending down to pick up a pebble or seashell every few feet. Doing cartwheels through the wide-open, landing on our heads and coating our hair in sand.


Those evenings were beautiful, just you, me, and the ocean.


The third square, a hardbound book with a frayed golden bookmark sticking out halfway through. Bringing back memories of late nights spent curled up in fleece blankets, heavy stories open on our laps. Flipping through the pages in sync with each other. Journeying off to faraway worlds together.


There is no one else I would want to go on an adventure with, only you.


The fourth square, a bronze penny. Like the ones we would line up on the tracks waiting for the rusty train to come around the corner. Then you and I would find them again the next day, flattened as thin as foil and covered in imprints of the train’s wheels. 


It was always sweet how fascinated you were by that, running your finger over the ridges in the metal. I wish I could do that again with you.


The fifth square had a picture of a mask. Made out of the very material that covered your face for nearly a year, that wasn’t enough to keep you safe. You took all the precautions you were supposed to, it shouldn’t have been you. Why couldn’t it have been someone else? 


I don’t want to remember those long, lonely nights I spent wishing I could see you in the hospital. The spreading pandemic preventing me from visiting you as you lay hooked up to a thousand different machines keeping you breathing.


I wish there was something I could have done, but even I know that once you started coughing you weren’t going to stop.


The sixth square, this one is for me. To tell myself that things will get better eventually. A blooming flower in a world of snow, the only living thing in sight. The frost coasts its petals, turning the bright colors to a lighter pastel.


There’s still life inside of me, still hope. Maybe your memories can be something different now, something that lifts me up instead of breaks me down. 


I miss you, and I always will.


But I will continue to live, for you.


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136 comments

Radhika Diksha
18:03 Mar 07, 2021

I am sorry to disturb you but I had written an announcement and a small chat. Someone deleted it on the doc. Just informing you.

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Maya Emerson
18:05 Mar 07, 2021

Oh they did? I'm sorry, I don't know who did that. It wasn't me.

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Radhika Diksha
18:08 Mar 07, 2021

I know you won't do it. But cant you find out? Like in the history or something?

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Maya Emerson
18:10 Mar 07, 2021

Since everyone is anonymous of the doc the history won't tell who deleted it. It was probably just a spammer, though, try not to take it to heart. Still, I'm sorry someone did that.

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Radhika Diksha
18:11 Mar 07, 2021

I dont want to be anonymous. How can I register myself then?

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Maya Emerson
20:16 Mar 07, 2021

I'm not really sure... Sorry

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Radhika Diksha
14:39 Mar 14, 2021

The new part is out. Would appreciate your comments on this.

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Danny ~
01:07 Mar 13, 2021

Hey Maya, how was your day?? :)) I hope it was good <33 I can't really talk right now (lol sorry, I can't respond to the other place we talk on), you're a great friend, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you, the power was out-ish lol See you tomorrow? <33 I'm really sorry..

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Maya Emerson
01:09 Mar 13, 2021

Heyy :)) <33 Oh, that's alright. Have a great day! :) You too, it's okay. Yeah sure. <33 Don't be, it's okay. Is something wrong, though? Are you okay? <3

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Danny ~
01:35 Mar 13, 2021

Nothing's wrong, I'm okay, don't worry <33 I just have something to get to today :b I hope the rest of your night goes great :)) love ya <3

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Maya Emerson
01:36 Mar 13, 2021

Oh, okay, good. Have fun with whatever you're doing! :) Thanks! Love ya, too. <33

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Michael Boquet
01:14 Mar 12, 2021

Very tragic story but with an uplifting ending. I love how you structured it and the memories and symbolism literally woven into the quilt. Very well done. I see that you liked my submission for this week as I was reading this one, but if you have a chance, would you mind to give me some feedback? I feel like my story would benefit from your perspective as a writer. (Thanks :) )

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Maya Emerson
17:34 Mar 12, 2021

Thank you! Sure, I'll do that when I get a chance. :)

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04:14 Mar 11, 2021

This was a beautiful and emotional piece Maya! Your writing continues to impress me. I thought the descriptions were very poetic, and the title was a fitting choice for the story. I also liked the way you took the prompt, how grounding it was to hear descriptions of online school, and how vivid each of the memories were. It was very specific and immersive, but you also did a good job of keeping things kind of ambiguous, like the characters, their relationship, their other lives. Really well done! There was one thing that made me pause, but ...

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Maya Emerson
04:32 Mar 11, 2021

Thank you! Ohmigosh I'm so sorry. For the record, I think therapists are important people and I think it's a wonderful thing, sorry I didn't mean to imply that I'll change it. I just kind of put it cause it maybe fit? Idk but I didn't mean that at all. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean that, I promise. I don't believe that, and it wasn't meant to come off that way.

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05:29 Mar 11, 2021

And I completely understand, there's no need to apologize! I'm sorry if that monologue was kind of intense, It was kind of a personal vent fueled by some of the comments I've heard from people I wanted to admire.. but... y'know. But yeah, I totally get it, don't worry about anything!

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Maya Emerson
17:34 Mar 12, 2021

Yeah, I understand. :) Wishing your friends all the best. :)

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21:52 Mar 12, 2021

And you as well

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03:05 Mar 11, 2021

I- I—- *sobbing* Mayaaaaa this was perfectttttt How do you write sad things so goodly...? *screams*

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Maya Emerson
17:35 Mar 12, 2021

Lol thanks :))

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18:39 Mar 12, 2021

*dies sobbing* <333

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*gasps for breath* deep breaths, ivy, deep breaths! Ok, so *counts to ten slowly, then breaths deeply* this was so amazing and *wipes tears away* so well written and I think it's the best story of yours that i've read so far. Also, did I mention that it's amazing? Bravo! Bravo! Encore! *Claps wildly* *Burst into tears- er, rivers [I should really call them waterfalls]* Okay, *bursts into the Niagara Falls of tears* huh, I didn't know the water from Niagara Falls was so salty.

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Maya Emerson
17:35 Mar 12, 2021

Thanks, Ivy! :)

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22:50 Mar 08, 2021

No, I'm not crying, thank you for asking. I can relate to writing a sad story at 12am, must be a common thing between writers? I love how the title gives some insight on the first square of the quilt. Some feedback: [The fifth square, on it a picture of a mask.] Maybe you could rephrase it, so it flows a little better. E.g (The fifth square, had a picture of a mask on it) Wonderful work! :D

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03:59 Mar 10, 2021

Hey, Maya! Would you like to be in my Reedsy Cast series?

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Maya Emerson
17:35 Mar 12, 2021

Thanks! And sure, if you want me to be. :))

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04:47 Mar 13, 2021

Ofc! The form is in my bio :D

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W.W. Skybelle
15:02 Mar 07, 2021

Okokokokokokok. Stay calm..... AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *inhales* *exhales* Gah, you're hurting me!! That was so sad and emotional! You could feel all of the pain of the main character. This concept is perfect for this prompt. I especially loved all of the memories the main characters remembered from making the squares of the quilt. I also think you put in the right amount of memories, too. MINOR ERRORS POLICE, OPEN UP! *smashes door* I feel like there are some places where you could replace commas with semicolons or periods. (Well...

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Maya Emerson
17:37 Mar 12, 2021

Ooh thank you. Hehe and thanks for the suggestion. :)

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W.W. Skybelle
17:41 Mar 12, 2021

Np! :)

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Jinnie Levi
21:28 May 13, 2021

Wow, I am honestly speechless. Maya-your INCREDIABLE! I honestly cannot believe how impactful this short story is. I am thankful that I haven't had any major losses during this pandemic, and I hope you didnt base this off of true events... But wow. The emoutions felt so authentic, and wow. This was utterly great, I absolutely love your work.

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Maya Emerson
03:44 May 16, 2021

Thank you! That's good you haven't <3 I didn't base it on true events :') Thanks so much!!

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Jinnie Levi
11:28 May 17, 2021

Oh that's a relief. But the emoution here is so authentic! I live for this!

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Jinnie Levi
11:29 May 17, 2021

Oh that's a relief. But the emoution here is so authentic! I live for this!

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Maya Emerson
18:36 May 19, 2021

Thank you!

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Arwen Dove
00:47 May 04, 2021

This is beautiful! I love your descriptions!

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Danny ~
23:26 Mar 20, 2021

Ahh maya, I'm sorryyyyyyyy, I didn't mean to ignore you, but I can't talk today, just weird wifi stuff (lol I'm haunted) :( tomorrow maybe? <3 I'm sorry :'(

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Maya Emerson
00:06 Mar 21, 2021

It's alright. Don't be sorry. :) Why are you haunted? Hehe it's okay, don't be sad. :) Sure, tomorrow if you can. <3 It's okay :)

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00:43 Mar 19, 2021

hi! Where did all of our convos go? The last time I talked to you was like, 2 weeks ago- Probably not, but it feels like it :P How are you? :]

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Maya Emerson
14:03 Mar 19, 2021

Hey! Oop sorry hehe I've been pretty busy this week. lol~ I'm good, you? :) Happy Friday! :)

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15:49 Mar 19, 2021

yeah me too- I'm gRaTe 🧀🧀🧀🧀 XD Do you like the new prompts? I do :)

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Maya Emerson
00:01 Mar 20, 2021

Hehe :)) xD Ooh yeah, they're pretty cool. Any ideas? :))

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00:21 Mar 20, 2021

:DD Yep, I'm doing a story about gardening and memories and- I'm gonna spoil the whole thing if I go on XD it's gonna be iNtErEsTiNg

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Maya Emerson
01:33 Mar 20, 2021

Ooh it sounds interesting~ Have fun~ :))

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Ernesto Bebe
14:20 Mar 18, 2021

When someone writes in the second person, they can't perfect it. However, I can say with confidence that you have done very well with it. It made me feel like the person who was lost was really there watching over. It was also very heartfelt. Thank you. (I'm sorry if this is personal, but is this a true story? If so, I am deeply sorry for your loss.)

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Michelle Lavoie
07:02 Mar 18, 2021

Beautiful piece. Feels as though it comes from the heart. I love the quilt analogy, and the objects you have chosen to represent the various stages of your relationship. I felt both the sense of great loss, but also the sense of healing. A strange combination, at least for me. The best work often comes pouring out of you quickly, this story proves it!

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PART 5! (You're dead--no wait, just Isaac thinks that, you're alive)

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Radhika Diksha
09:26 Mar 17, 2021

Hey Maya, got to know of the Jake aka bullshit guy. Thank god he got caught. Does he know you in irl? If you know him stay safe. By the way I didn't persist you to collab because I saw you in stress because of the doc. can we talk?

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Maya Emerson
14:45 Mar 17, 2021

Lol~ I don't know him irl, thanks though. I'm not stressed because of the doc, it's just other stuff. That's why I haven't gotten around to reading your stories yet, sorry. We can still do the collab if you would like, I have time since I have off school for five days. Sure, we can talk.

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23:47 Mar 16, 2021

Jake?

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Maya Emerson
01:14 Mar 17, 2021

Wdym?

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01:20 Mar 17, 2021

Like in your comments...

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Maya Emerson
01:26 Mar 17, 2021

Oh that's the spammer's name, his sister came on his computer and exposed him so he no longer has the upper hand lol~ xDD

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01:30 Mar 17, 2021

WAIT WHAT TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN

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Maya Emerson
14:43 Mar 17, 2021

He is scared of us now, specifically Saph, but he still comes on. We just know who he is kind of now. Lol~

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01:31 Mar 17, 2021

WAIT WHAT TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN

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MAYYAAAAA can you let me back in the Scribbls doc? it kicked me out :(

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Maya Emerson
19:33 Mar 16, 2021

Sorryyyy That was me I kicked everyone off cause Jake was being gross but I kicked myself off too so... oop sorry e.e

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Maya Emerson
20:03 Mar 16, 2021

Sorry, ehe Lily is gonna fix it. Sorryyy

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Maya Emerson
01:15 Mar 17, 2021

Yeah lol

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01:38 Mar 16, 2021

Hi Maya, I posted my new story!

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