Mar 04, 2021

Fantasy Sad Friendship

TW: Almost-suicide and bloodshed



The water engulfed me, and I smiled as the salty currents touched my skin. I was in my home element. Here, I was at peace. I breathed in and out, feeling the sea fill my lungs one last time.ย 

I closed my eyes, and I felt myself dissolving in the water. Dissolving into sea foam. The sensation was fuzzy, like I was sinking into Faunaโ€™s warm blankets made of feathers from the seagulls that wandered out island.

I shook my head, chiding myself for thinking of Fauna.ย 

These were my last moments. I didnโ€™t want them to be filled with pain and worry.

What would Daku and Fauna do? What would our entire tribe of Isulam do? When they find that Iโ€™m missing from the island. For once, I wouldnโ€™t be there. They would search everywhere, but I wouldnโ€™t be found.

How could I live with the feeling that I had abandoned them?ย 

I sighed, feeling bubbles floating across my face. They were all stronger than I. This was for the best.ย 

Besides, I had waited for this day for centuries. The day I would finally become one with the sea. A death with no pain.

There was no going back now.

I felt myself slip. Slip from the ledge of life I had been holding onto for a thousand years. And I let go willingly.

I fell. My spirit floated down. Deeper and deeper. . .

A hand latched onto mine. The grip was strong, keeping me tied to the world. The hand felt thin, yet familiar. Like home.

I was tugged out of the water, emerging into daylight. My body was thrown onto the back of a blue whale, as if I weighed nothing. The sun hit my face, and I soaked in the golden rays. A light breeze blew, and I smiled as it ruffled my dark black hair.

My feeling of tranquility only lasted a moment. Fauna was glaring at me, as if I had tried to kill myself or something.

Oh, wait.

โ€œWhat were you thinking, Avisa?!โ€ she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. โ€œBecoming โ€˜one with the seaโ€™ now? Do you have any idea how much we were worried? We were afraid you were already gone! We--โ€

Fauna stopped, her anger melting away as quickly as it came. She wrapped her arms around me, shaking. I was surprised by her embrace, but I didnโ€™t let go. I just wrapped my own arms around Fauna and held her. Her body was so frail and thin.

โ€œI was so scared,โ€ she whispered. She sniffled, a tear rolling down her cheek. I flicked my finger, and the tear evaporated into mist.

After a few moments, Fauna broke from the hug.

โ€œJust answer one question for me, Avisa.โ€ She said, her eyes changing color to match the whaleโ€™s back. โ€œWhy?โ€

I frowned. โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œWhy would you even think about leaving us?โ€

Leaving the tribe. Leaving my home. Well, not just my home. My family. My friends. How could I consider leaving?

I sighed, knowing the answer to that question. I traced my fingers across the whaleโ€™s back, making drawings with the water on it. The drawings dissipated with just a touch. I didnโ€™t answer Fauna. I didnโ€™t want to admit my intentions.

But of course, Fauna knew. She knew me better than anyone.ย 

โ€œThis is about your parents, isnโ€™t it?โ€ย 

I refused to give her the satisfaction that she had read my mind correctly. But I didnโ€™t deny it, either.ย 

โ€œLook,โ€ Fauna said, fiddling with the hem of her feather dress. โ€œYouโ€™ve experienced so much pain. Losing your parents at such a young age.โ€

โ€œThey dissolved in the sea,โ€ I said quietly. โ€œThey couldnโ€™t stand this-- this war. They left me behind. Without even a goodbye.โ€

โ€œHey.โ€ Now it was Faunaโ€™s turn to wipe the tears off my face. โ€œWhat matters is that even though theyโ€™re gone from this world, a part of them lives inside your heart and soul. I can see them in you. They would be proud.โ€

I smiled through watery eyes. โ€œMaybe youโ€™re right. Thanks.โ€

Fauna smiled. โ€œThatโ€™s what friends are for, right?โ€

The whale came close to the shore. We jumped off its back, landing in the cool sea. Fauna whispered to the whale a few words, it happily swam away.ย 

She glanced at me. โ€œCan you--โ€

She didnโ€™t even have to ask. A gigantic wave rose out of the water, forming into the shape of a simple rowboat. I exhaled sharply, and the boat froze into ice. I still didnโ€™t understand how the boat never melted when I used this power, but nonetheless, I hopped on the boat. Fauna did the same, and the boat steered itself toward the shore.


***


โ€œI thought you were dead!โ€ Daku exclaimed, tackling me in a bear hug. I grunted, surprised with the impact. He let go just as quickly as he hugged me, and punched my arm playfully. โ€œDonโ€™t try disappearing on us like that again, Sea Foam.โ€ย 

I chuckled, rubbing my arm. After talking to all of the people in the tribe and apologizing, my body was quite sore. โ€œNo promises, Sandman.โ€

Dakuโ€™s expression turned serious. โ€œIโ€™m not joking. After all of those deaths and attacks by the tribe of Urbs. . . We canโ€™t afford to lose you. Youโ€™re the last Sea Spirit in the entireย tribe. Sea Spirits are now rarer than ever, and theyโ€™re the most powerful types of spirits in the world. We need you, Avisa. We all do.โ€

I sighed, not liking all of this pressure. โ€œI know.โ€

But did I?

โ€œGood.โ€ย 

Daku smiled, not noticing my thoughts. He buried himself into the sand, teleporting away. He was always an Elementum of a few words.ย 

I wiggled my toes in the grainy sand, thinking.

We had lost so many Sea Spirits, Sand Souls, and Animal Associates in the last few centuries. Daku had lost his boyfriend. I had lost my parents. Fauna had lost her sister. Every single Elementum in this tribe had suffered from loss, wounds, and captivity. All because of the ruthless Metal Manipulators, Electricity Eidolons, and Mortal Managers in the tribe of Urbs, some in the places called โ€œcitiesโ€.ย 

For years, I had tethered between giving up and revenge. I was standing at the crossroads of destiny. Would I give up this hopeless war and dissolve in the sea, reuniting with my parents like I had always wanted? Or would I fight in this war with my friends, and die trying to win?

Either way, I would die. The question is, how?

โ€œHey.โ€

I flinched in surprise and turned around to find Fauna sitting behind me. How she had snuck up on me, I had no idea. Her eyes turned bright white as a colony of seagulls flew overhead.ย 

โ€œDonโ€™t think about suicide, Avisa.โ€ She said, her eyes turning the same color as the hermit crab at her feet. โ€œIt wonโ€™t do you any good.โ€

I sighed. Over the last few days, this was a constant topic between the two of us.ย 

โ€œI can reunite with my parents, be a part of the sea, and escape the war. Dissolving in the sea doesnโ€™t sound so bad, doesnโ€™t it?โ€

Fauna growled in frustration, running her fingers through her hair. โ€œWerenโ€™t you listening to a word Daku was saying? Our tribe needs you! You need to understand!โ€

I frowned. โ€œYou were spying on us?โ€

Faunaโ€™s face turned beet red. โ€œThatโ€™s not the point. What my point is that you cannot die on us! Itโ€™s not just because of your power. Youโ€™re the glue that keeps our tribe together. Do you hear me?โ€

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

โ€œI hear you. I understand.โ€ I said, gently grabbing her wrists and taking them off my shoulders.

Fauna studied my face, looking for any signs of lying or doubt. She smiled, apparently satisfied.

โ€œGood,โ€ she said, standing up. โ€œNow if youโ€™ll excuse me, I have to train the Animal Associate kids.โ€

Fauna morphed into a seagull and flew off.ย 

I stood up and started walking around the island. If you close your eyes, you could hear the light chatter of Elementums. Sounds of various animals. The waves crashing on the shore, and the sound of sand blowing and crumbling. You could almost believe that this place was a happy safe haven for our tribe. A peaceful island with no problems.ย 

But if you open your eyes, youโ€™re exposed to the slight harshness of our land. Many of the huts have been burned or destroyed. All of the tribe wore traumatized expressions that no smile could mask. We would flinch at the smallest sound, anticipating an attack. Even our powers werenโ€™t what they used to be.

I stopped by the shore and concentrated. A gigantic fist the size of my hut rose out of the water, copying my movements. I tried adding another hand, but the fist in the sea dissolved into mist.ย 

I growled in frustration. I had been working on this trick for days now. Why couldnโ€™t I get it right?

I was about to try again, but the call of a white bellbird blasted through my eardrums. I was instantly on guard. That call meant one thing: An Animal Associate had shifted into a white bellbird. We were being attacked by the tribes of Urbs.ย 

I raised my arms, and a large ball of water shot out of the sea and into my arms. It wasnโ€™t a second too soon. A jet made of metal was hovering right above the island, and from it, dozens of Elementums dropped out. The older Elementums from our tribe, including myself, ran to intercept them.

The next few minutes were a blur of fighting. I blasted water at every Elementum from the tribe of Urbs I could find, knocking them down. As I looked around, I realized that we were actually holding them off. Our numbers were strengthening, but theirs weren't.

โ€œThings are going smoothly,โ€ I thought.ย 

Thatโ€™s when everything went wrong.

A scream echoed in my ears. I recognized it. It belonged to. . .

โ€œNo!โ€ I yelled. A blast of water sent itself at a Metal Manipulator, knocking her down only a second before her sword wouldโ€™ve cleaved Fauna in half. She was lying down on the sand, brown blood rushing from her chest, only a few inches from her heart.ย 

โ€œAre you okay?โ€ I rushed over to Fauna, avoiding stray bolts of electricity and metal weapons flying through the air. As I got closer to her, I realized โ€˜Are you okay?โ€™โ€™ was a stupid question. Clearly, she wasnโ€™t.

Fauna coughed up blood, her breathing going shallow. That wasnโ€™t good. Water formed at my hands, glowing bright blue. I placed my hands on her wound, applying pressure and power.

Please, please, please. . .

Fauna gasped, her expression radiating pure fear.ย 

โ€œBehind. You.โ€ She rasped.

The hairs of my neck stood up. Electricity. I muttered a curse. My water wouldnโ€™t do much good against that. We were as good as dead.

That thought made my veins fill with energy. And rage. No matter what happens, Fauna wasnโ€™t going to die because of some stupid Electricity Eidolon. Controlling the brain wouldnโ€™t work. I had to be able to see my target in order to do that, and I couldnโ€™t risk turning my back on Fauna.ย 

So there was only one solution.

Time seemed to slow down. Footsteps thumped against the sand behind me. This Elementum was nothing more than the enemy. Nothing more than a body filled with water.

I hadnโ€™t even mastered the technique yet, but I had to try. I thrust out my hand and closed my eyes, imagining the blood in the Elementumโ€™s body. I raised my hand slowly.

I heard a yell of pain, and bones cracking. In a sharp gesture, my hand clenched into a fist. I heard the thump of a large body falling to the sand. A small smile formed on my face. I had mastered the technique.ย 

Faunaโ€™s eyes widened. She seemed to be afraid. Afraid of me.ย 

โ€œWhat-- what was that? You-- you. . .โ€ She choked on her own words.

I stared at my hands. The hands that had killed an Elementum by controlling the blood in his own body.ย 

I was a monster.ย 

I covered my hands in the healing water and placed them on Faunaโ€™s wound again.

โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ I managed. โ€œI shouldnโ€™t have done that. But at the thought of you dying. . . I couldnโ€™t let you get hurt.โ€

Faunaโ€™s lips twisted into a small smile, but she said nothing. Even in the midst of the chaos, there was a moment of peace.ย 

That was ruined when Daku ran up to us. He formed balls of sand and heated them up. Sharp bits of glass hurtled toward a Metal Elementum that wouldโ€™ve stabbed us. The Metal Elementum grunted in pain, silvery blood trailing down her forehead and into her eyes.ย 

โ€œHey!โ€ He said, out of breath. โ€œShouldnโ€™t you be. . .โ€

His sentence wavered when he noticed Fauna.

โ€œOh.โ€

I nodded, my expression grim. โ€œI donโ€™t know what to do. My healing isnโ€™t having much effect on her.โ€

โ€œPoison,โ€ Daku said with disdain. โ€œThe tribes of Urbs came prepared to the T. Even though thereโ€™s only Electricity Eidolons and Metal Manipulators here, theyโ€™re winning. We were winning, but now, we can barely hold them off.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m still alive, you know.โ€ Fauna breathed. โ€œYour-- your water is. . . helping. Iโ€™ll be-- be fine.โ€

I raised an eyebrow. Her expression of pain and anguish told me otherwise. Her face was slowly turning a dirty grey.ย 

Fauna sighed. โ€œWhy. . . did I even try t-- telling you that? You can tell. . . Iโ€™m lying. I-- Iโ€™m going to die from this.โ€

I squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her. โ€œIโ€™m doing everything I can. Hopefully. . .โ€

I was so focused on Fauna that I wasnโ€™t even paying attention to Daku. A big mistake.

โ€œIn a fight against the tribe of Urbs, always pay attention to your surroundings. You never know when an Elementum will sneak up on you and kill you or your ally.โ€ย 

That, along with countless other tips, warnings, and rules, had been drilled into my head since I could remember. Only now did I realize how useful they were.

The point of a sword emerged from Dakuโ€™s chest. The motion was silent, but deadly. I didnโ€™t have time to fight it off.

Daku collapsed on the ground right next to me before I could even process what was happening. Once I realized what had just happened, I cursed so loudly that I was sure that it could be heard across the entire island.ย 

I checked his pulse. It was still there, but it was weakening. It wonโ€™t be long until heโ€™s as good as gone.

I looked back and forth between Daku and Fauna helplessly. Both equally injured. Both on the verge of death. But I was only one Sea Spirit. Even when I had focused all of my energy into one of them, it had almost no effect. How was I supposed to successfully heal both of them before. . . before the end?

An idea clicked in my head. If the tribe of Urbs were defeated, I could focus on healing my friends. A bubble of water formed around me, Daku, and Fauna. I gestured with my hands, and everyone else in the tribe of Isulam had a bubble of water surrounding them, like a shield.ย 

I closed my eyes, breathing in and out. A wave rose from the sea. It was so tall that it seemed to block out the now setting sun. The Elementums from the tribe of Urbs tried to run, but there was nothing they could do.

The wave crashed onto the island, covering the entire island in water. All of the Elementums who weren't protected by a bubble of water fell to the ground, knocked out cold by the power of the wave. I would have to do something about that soon.

All of the water on the island then evaporated into mist, including the bubbles of water that surrounded us.

Our tribe cheered, but I barely heard it. All I could focus on were my friends.

Faunaโ€™s eyes were glassy. Her chest wasnโ€™t moving. Webs of poison had crawled its way to her heart.ย 

No.

I couldnโ€™t move. My body seemed to be paralyzed. In defeating the tribe of Urbs, I had shifted my concentration away from Fauna. Her death was my fault.

I couldnโ€™t control the tears streaming down my face. Fauna was gone. My chest heaved, and my vision blurred in grief. I had fallen in a hole of darkness and emotion. And I wasnโ€™t coming out.ย 

ย I gazed at Dakuโ€™s body.ย 

He was barely breathing. The poison was centimeters from his heart. I unfroze, pouring all of my energy, all of my power into healing him. His breathing got stronger, but I knew it wouldnโ€™t be enough.ย 

Daku realized it, too.

โ€œStrike. Water. At my. Heart, Avisa.โ€ He muttered. โ€œItโ€™s too. . . much pain. Let-- me go. Last request.โ€

I couldnโ€™t do it. I couldnโ€™t kill the last friend I had. I couldnโ€™t do it. But looking at Dakuโ€™s pleading golden-brown eyes, I had to. For him. To ease his pain.ย 

With tears in my eyes, I sent aย blast of water, honed to a sharp edge, right at Dakuโ€™s heart. I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch his last breath.ย 

When I opened my eyes again, they landed on his expression, which was at peace. Like he was in a better place.ย 

My sobs echoed through the island, broken and shattered. As I sat there on the shore, with my two dead friends, I looked up at the stars.ย 

They were beautiful, and shining. It wasnโ€™t fair that after all of this darkness and bloodshed, the stars were still intact.ย 

Through my tears, scanning the constellations, I wondered if I would ever be happy again.

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119 comments

18:37 Mar 04, 2021

Heyyyyy, guys! For once, this story didnโ€™t end on a cliffhanger, so Iโ€™m proud of that. Boy, am I happy that I didnโ€™t have to add a continuation to my ever growing โ€œstories I need to make a series/sequel toโ€ list. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜… This was also the first โ€œactionโ€ story with โ€œfightingโ€ that I wrote, so itโ€™s probably not that good. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ This isnโ€™t my best work. Iโ€™m not that proud of it, but I donโ€™t want to delete this. Please please please give me feedback. I appreciate every single one. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Also, if anyone has a better title name, PLEASE give me some ideas! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Th...

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21:23 Mar 04, 2021

XDDDD

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Writer Maniac
14:53 Mar 06, 2021

Woah! This was a fascinating story and the fantasy world you created through it was beautiful and heartbreaking, I absolutely loved it! I enjoyed every part of this, it was wonderful to read! Great job!

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14:57 Mar 06, 2021

Thank you! :D

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For the story, I seriously have no idea who to ship you with XD Someone from reedsy hmm.....do you wanna choose someone so I get an idea of who I should send the form too?

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17:04 Mar 05, 2021

I can't really "choose" because I don't want to make things awkward XD As long as it's a guy (I'm straight), I'm good.

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17:11 Mar 05, 2021

:)))

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what story is it?

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ohhhhhh. did you have a form for that?

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sure! I'm pretty sure I didn't fill it out XD.

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Amany Sayed
21:23 Mar 04, 2021

This is SO sad and So good! Seriously. Wow. The emotions were so amazing and the fantacyyyy! In. Love. And the blood part was so cooooool! Where do you think of this stuff? It's so cool and so well written, I have zero critiques. Even with my extra-large-eagle-eye-grammar-error-catching-glasses on, I didn't find anything. Title ideas if you still want them: ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ Underwater Feelings Battle of the Elementums Death at Last Peaceful Drowning Drowning in Thoughts Dry tears, overfilled ocean (they're very random...) Keep writing! (ps.I'd put a ...

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21:26 Mar 04, 2021

I honestly don't know. They just pop into my head at random XD Heheheh you have no idea how many times I read over my work to have no grammar errors XD Those are some... interesting titles XD Ok, I will! Thank youu! :)

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Amany Sayed
21:28 Mar 04, 2021

Haha, that's a writer's thoughts in six words. Lol, I feel you. Yes, I suck at titles. My pleasure!

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21:30 Mar 04, 2021

Yep XD You don't "suck" at titles! They're just unique. :)

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W-W-WHAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH WHY WOULD YOU DO THISSSSSSSSSSSSS JGFDJHGKJHGLKJHGKFDJGHHKHFGLKJHCV *inhale* *exhale* khgfkjgkjhj it was so fast yet so well paced that you could feel Avisa's heart breaking at the end when she shot the water at Daku omgggggggggg I love sad fantasies and you NAILED THISSSSSSSSSSSS DONT YOU DARE DELETE ITTTTTT fav line: I fell. My spirit floated down. Deeper and deeper. . . kytfkgfkjhbhfjh it was the very beginning of the story when I chose that as my favorite line and I didnt know what rollercoaster ride ...

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19:12 Mar 04, 2021

Thank youuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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19:14 Mar 04, 2021

Are you going to be publishing any stories this week?

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eheh I'm hoping to post pt 3 of THotF and an extra story that has some backstories, but we'll see if my procrastinating brain can hurry up an make it happenXD

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19:21 Mar 04, 2021

XDD Looking forward to that!! :)

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Maya Emerson
18:09 Mar 07, 2021

Ohmigosh this was so beautiful Annabelle~ Avisa's thoughts were portrayed perfectly and the entire story was so touching and tragic. Her relationship with Daku, Fauna, and her parents was so sweet but so sad at the same time. And the detailed plot behind the story, with the invasion of the island was very well thought out. I absolutely loved this! <3

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18:28 Mar 07, 2021

Thank youuu :DDD

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Hi there! If you have time, please upvote this writer. Her points got taken all away, and she was originally at 5,000, please help if you want to. (I understand if you don't wanna get involved into all the upvoting/downvoting.) Link: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/writer-maniac/#

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22:59 Mar 06, 2021

Ofc I will! Iโ€™ve only talked to Mania (I think thatโ€™s what sheโ€™s called) a few times, but sheโ€™s such an amazing writer and a great person to talk to. Iโ€™ll help :)

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Amazinggggg! I just can't express this with words, I LOVEEEEEE stories with powersssswss (yes I dooooo) Small suggestions: "The Metal Elementum grunted in pain, silvery blood trailing down his forehead and into her eyes." Can a Metal Elementum be a boy and a girl at the ssame time? Either it's trailing down his forehead and into HIS eyes, or her forehead and into HER eyes. "The urbs of tribe can prepared to the T..." What does that mean owo? NOOO SO SAD WHY DID YOU MAKE THEMMM DIEEE IM CRYINGGG NOOOOOOOOOOO (Avisha is. one powerful gi...

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18:31 Mar 06, 2021

1. Tankssss. Same :) 2. Ahahaha that was an editing mistake. I'll have to fix that XD 3. This will answer your second question (hopefully): https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/to-a-t#:~:text=phrase,in%20doing%20it%20exactly%20right. 4. I was in the mood for death stories, so that's what I wrote :) 5. Yessss she issssss

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18:45 Mar 06, 2021

:))) Ahahaha it won't XD

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How do you knowwwwww-hmmmm? It CANNN winnnn just B W E L I E V EEEE

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22:59 Mar 06, 2021

XDDDDDDD

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๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿค 

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17:05 Mar 05, 2021

That's a lot of cowboys XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Can you give feedback on my latest story?

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heheeheheheheheheheheeheheheheheheheh

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SO SAD SO AMAZING SO EMOTIONAL DFJNBSIFLJKBNSFBKJSBNSHBJ (this isn't the story I'm critiquing for you- Im working on that rn, but it was just too good to pass)

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13:20 Mar 07, 2021

Aghhhhhhhh sorry for the late replyyyyyy Thank youuuu!!! :)))

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20:21 Mar 07, 2021

:)))))))))) Random question: Are you in any fandoms?

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20:27 Mar 07, 2021

which ones?

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Praise Abraham
04:10 Mar 05, 2021

Wow! Wow! Wow! This was amazing! And sad too. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ You're an awesome writer.๐Ÿ˜˜ Thanks for putting me on your bio. I'm so honored.๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜ PS: I've filled the character form. It's kinda lame but manage my lameness. ๐Ÿ˜…

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12:15 Mar 05, 2021

Thank you! Np. You deserve more attention ;) Ok! I'll check it out! I'm sure it's not lame :)

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Praise Abraham
19:52 Mar 05, 2021

Thank you so much. You make me happy. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

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19:54 Mar 05, 2021

Np! :))))

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Nainika Gupta
18:49 Mar 04, 2021

HOLY-WHAT??!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH *two days later* AHHHHHHH anyway. I really liked this! It was super fantasy-driven, which, I applaud you for, :) And It was not too much info-dumping, which again, amazing!! OOH maybe a cool title would be like: The Crystal in the Sea or Death by ...er hmm ooh maybe Death by Water or something?? IDK XD anyway amazingggg <3 ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ๐Ÿณ...

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18:50 Mar 04, 2021

XDDD Thank you so much!! :))

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Nainika Gupta
18:52 Mar 04, 2021

XDD of course!! :)

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18:54 Mar 04, 2021

๐Ÿ˜

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12:30 Mar 15, 2021

This was fantastic!!!! Just make sure to keep the tone and mood consistent throughout EVERY PART of the story, not deviating at any moment. Other than that, dang this was emotional!!!

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12:35 Mar 15, 2021

I knew there was something wrong with my mood XD Consistency is a PROBLEM for me. It's something I struggle with, probably because my writing reflects my brain. And my brain never stays on one thought for more than a few seconds lol Augh this annoys me so much! I get good feedback, and I can't apply that feedback to this story :((( But thonks! :DDD

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12:46 Mar 15, 2021

XPPPPPPPPP Well you just gotta remind yourself when you run back through it!!!!!

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12:50 Mar 15, 2021

I hope I do!

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Palak Shah
22:55 Mar 12, 2021

โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œโค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME A...

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22:55 Mar 12, 2021

Lol I will :)

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Palak Shah
22:52 Mar 12, 2021

Thanks for the recommendation This story is amazing and hooked me till the end. Your description is phenomenal and the relationship was amazingly portrayed. Well done !!

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22:55 Mar 12, 2021

Thank you! :)

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Palak Shah
22:56 Mar 12, 2021

No problem Could you read my story 'old age' I would like to see your feedback if that's okay :))

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23:02 Mar 12, 2021

Ok! It might take a while (I have so, so many stories to read), but I'll check it out :)

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Palak Shah
23:06 Mar 12, 2021

That's fine take your time :))

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23:12 Mar 12, 2021

Tanks :)

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23:47 Mar 09, 2021

ty!

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Wowwww I love this! The emotions are well-written and characters have such vivid personalities. For under 3k words, I can really aPpRiCiAtE the fantasy world building. You tackled a hard topic super well in the beginning when Avisa attempts suicide, and how Fauna saves her. AND THE TITLE IS SO PERFECT! All in all, an awesome sad fantasy ๐Ÿฅฒ๐Ÿ’–

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17:18 Mar 07, 2021

1.Thank youuu! 2. Worldbuilding was never a strength of mine, but I'm glad you liked it! 3. I honestly have no idea how or why I started the story that way, ngl XD 4. Eheheheh I literally changed the main character's name for the title 5. Thanks again! :DD

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Cassandra Durnin
07:11 Mar 07, 2021

Didn't recognize you at first because of the name change, but I certainly did recognize your writing style. I loved the emotion in this piece, and how the turmoil and conflict was written amazingly. Well done.

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13:18 Mar 07, 2021

Thank you! :)

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Cal Carson
19:32 Mar 06, 2021

Wonderful read! I love fantasy and I love dark/sad tales, so this was right in my niche! I have two critiques for you. One: โ€œ...like I was sinking into Faunaโ€™s warm blankets made of feathers. Feathers of the seagulls that hung around our island.โ€ For me this was a little disorienting, I think it would be better as one sentence. For example, โ€œ...Faunaโ€™s warm blankets made of feathers from the seagulls that wandered out island.โ€ Two: โ€œI smiled. โ€˜Maybe youโ€™re right. Thanks.โ€™โ€ Personally, I feel itโ€™s too soon for Avisa to be smili...

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22:56 Mar 06, 2021

1. Thank you! :) 2. Iโ€™ll fix that. 3. That makes sense. Iโ€™ll use one of the examples you told me :) 4. Iโ€™m glad you liked it! :) 5. No, itโ€™s all good XD 6, *glances at list of dozens of stories I need to check out* ofc I will! :D

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dacw 'nghariad. Look it up. Find a female vocals version and read this story.

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19:44 Mar 05, 2021

?

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19:52 Mar 05, 2021

Ok. *listens while reading* Wow.

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21:35 Mar 05, 2021

That's... depressing.

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