84 comments

Mar 01, 2021

Black Creative Nonfiction

My life will begin soon.


The cold water rushed against my bare legs as I sat alone on the beach. The sky was turning a dark blue and the clouds were starting to make way for the moon. By this time, everyone was starting to pack up their things and head back towards their hut. When it was time for us to leave, I had told my Mother that I wanted to stay for a couple more minutes. A couple more minutes turned into hours and now, here I was: planning my escape from the island I once called home.Β 


I began to think about leaving the island when I was younger. There had been a sudden drought on the island and there was no way we could grow any food. The next couple of days, a big white ship had arrived on the island, and docked there. I could see everyone rushing onto the boat, many coming off with their hands full of treats. My Mother told me and my sister, Akali to go get some things off of the ship and come right back.Β 


β€œWhat if when we get on the boat, they take us and leave?” Akali had said, her feet digging through the sand as we walked towards the boat.


β€œThat’s nonsense. Why would you think such a thing?” I muttered, fiddling with the bracelet on my arms. I had made it from seashells and fish bones.Β Β I could feel Akali’s disapproving stare at me, burning a hole into my skin. Akali always felt she was right since she was 4 and no one could make her change her mind.


β€œMother was talking to her friends earlier this morning. She said something about how these people are always taking advantage of people from islands like ours”.


β€œWell, if that’s the case then why would Mother send us to get the food and not go herself?” I said, as we came closer to the ship. The ship was gigantic, compared to our island. People were stacked upon each other while heading onto the ship.Β 


β€œI’m just saying, we should be careful up here”, Her words were crisp like the flowing wind and her black hair was moving lightly.Β 


I nodded my head silently as we arrived at where the ship was docked. All of our people were out here, hoping to score some food. We got into line and waited for a couple of minutes, playing hand games to pass the time by.Β 


The people passing out the food had pale skin, and their hair was held up out of their face. We were so close to front of line, I could see the beads of sweat dripping down this particular person’s face. Akali shrunk in closer to me, even though she was taller than me by a couple of inches.Β 


They directed us onto the ship, following the trails of mud prints. The floorboard was dark and wooden, and it creaked under us as we walked deeper into the ship. People had stands set up around the ship, some holding clothes and others holding fruits and vegetables.Β 


β€œStay close to me while I get some of these tomatoes”, Akali whispered into my ear, holding my hand. She walked towards the stand while I trudged behind her, dragging my feet slowly. One of the girls was leaning over the ships edge, staring out onto the ocean curiously.Β 


β€œHow are you all doing?” One of the men said, his tone was assertive but behind the voice his eyes were soft.Β 


β€œWe’re.. holding up”, She said quietly. The man started to bag up the tomatoes while talking to his partner.Β 


I turned back and saw the girl still standing there, over the edge of the ship. Her red hair was shining in sun, like a strawberry on a hot day. She had on a white dress with a rope tied around it and blue flip flops. Before I knew it, my feet were dragging me towards her.Β 


β€œZachary! Zachary, get back over here!”, I could hear Akali snapping at me behind her but I didn’t turn around. I kept towards the girl until I was standing right behind her.Β 


β€œHello”.


She didn’t turn around to face me. Instead, her small hand motioned to me. I slowly walked towards the edge she was standing behind until I was beside her. My breathing started to go awry before I pressed my hands onto my heart.


β€œDo you ever wish you could leave your island?”Her voice was sweet like honey, drawing me into it like a bee. β€œI mean, like just go somewhere else for a change? To get away from your regular life?”.


Her question stunned me. No one had ever asked me this before nonetheless I had never thought about it. Leaving the island? But I’ve lived here my entire life. What was even out there beyond the ocean? How would I survive even? All these questions ran through my head as I looked out at the ocean as well. The girl stared quietly at the ocean, her face still turned away from me.Β 


β€œMy parents are making me leave for college this year. Even after I told them I didn’t want to go”, She finally faced me. She had light green eyes and freckles that dotted her face all over. She smiled a little before looking back at that ocean.


β€œWhat’s β€œcollege?””, I said pulling my hand up to lean my head on.Β 


β€œIt’s a place where people go to further their education. I want to stay in my rock band that I came up with my friends back home. My parents won’t let me though and are sending me away to New York next month”, Her tone was getting more dark as she spoke.Β 


I never thought about β€œcollege”. Here we just learn from our parents and surrounding huts. I always wanted to know more but they told me not to question what the earth has already done.Mother had always dismissed me like this, not listening to a thing I said. Maybe IΒ didΒ need to get away. So, I could find myself and be able to ask questions without anyone telling me not to do so.Β 


Now, as I sit here on the sand close to the ocean I think heavily about leaving the island. The ship would come to bring us food tomorrow morning and I would be going myself since Akali had to help prepare supper with Mother. This is when I would leave.


The next morning, I began to pack my things while everyone was sleep. I threw some bamboo, my tarp, and a couple of shirtsΒ Β into a bucket that I would disguise as what I was putting the food into. Mother and Akali were still snoring lightly as I tiptoed into their room they shared. I planted a kiss onto Akali’s forehead before looking at my Mother. Should I? After judging me all these years, should I give her a proper farewell? I placed my hand on her shoulder slightly before taking it off and heading out the door.


As I speed walked towards the ship, my doubts started to fill my head. What about Akali and Mother? They’ll be devastated if I leave them and worried about where I am. If I go back though Mother will continue to keep me in the dark about the island. IΒ haveΒ to leave this island and know more about the outside world. People crowded around the entrance of the ship while I slipped through the openings between them. I jumped up onto the ship, grunting as I landed just barely onto my hands.


Everyone was so busy with getting items from the foreign people, no one had noticed me. I looked around for a empty place on the ship. The only place I could spot was a barrel. I lifted the lid off and looked around before emptying the contents of the bucket inside. As I was doing so, I spotted the girl with the red hair staring at me. My heart froze solid. Was she going to rat me out? But she just nodded towards me and turned back around towards the ocean. The ships horn blew and I could see my people heading back towards their huts, arms stuffed with food. The trees swayed slower today and the earth blew out a hefty gust of cold wind.


I looked out onto the island, taking in it’s essence one more time. Goodbye, home.


My life will begin soon.

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84 comments

Devaki πŸŽ‰
20:07 Mar 02, 2021

I just wanted to let you know, that there is a contest going on for a whopping $540!!! I really believe that you would succeed in this contest! Sadly, I can't paste this link on Reedsy, but I can on email! If you want more details for this contest, can you please send me your email address so I can send you the link?

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21:47 Mar 02, 2021

I’m honored that you think I can enter a contest for that amount of money! Sometimes I don't give my email out to people because ya know.. scams but If you can just reply so I know that your not a bot than that would be awesome! Thanks again🌸

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Devaki πŸŽ‰
00:27 Mar 03, 2021

I’m not a bot, lol. I even have stories up!

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Devaki πŸŽ‰
00:27 Mar 03, 2021

I’m not a bot, lol. I even have stories up!

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Michael Boquet
14:33 Mar 03, 2021

This story was full of surprises. First I thought it your main character was going to become enslaved. Then I thought it was historical fiction until the girl mentioned rock bands and New York. Nice little coming of age tale. I love the ending. Couple spots I noticed: "Their had been a sudden drought" -- 'There' "My breathing started to go array" -- 'awry' "The only place I could spot was was a barrel" -- delete second 'was' Thanks for the like! I hope you'll check out a few of my stories. I'm especially proud of the one I submitted for th...

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14:40 Mar 03, 2021

Thanks for the comment! Sometime I rush through my stories so grammatical errors kind of pop out:) Also, I loved her too🌸 P. S. I’m about to go check out one of your storiesπŸ™ƒ

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This kinda gives me moana vibes, but all the prompts do, so of course. Loved the inner thoughts!

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21:48 Mar 02, 2021

I’m glad you like it because I was a little worried that I was doing too much questioning but than I realized that was apart of the characters personality. Thanks for checking out my story!🌸

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Hi Euphorias! TY for the follow! And welcome to reedsy!!! WOW, this story was impressively done!!! Great work, I wouldn't be surprised if it won! Just check for some grammar errors.but wonderful job!

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17:41 Mar 03, 2021

Thank you for checking out my story! Great work from you as well!🌸

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14:59 Mar 03, 2021

Hello! This is a great story. I love the way you bookmark your story with the same sentence. That is really effective. It also has a really nice hopeful ending, which I liked. Minor editing point, you don't need a comma after a question mark and speech marks (?”,) just ?" is fine. Great job otherwise :)

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15:14 Mar 03, 2021

Thanks! I’m really grateful for the help on errors in my story, it helps me a lot! 🌸

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15:31 Mar 03, 2021

No problem at all :) That's what Reedsy is for, after all!

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Cassandra Durnin
01:27 Mar 03, 2021

Wow, nice job! I loved the inner questioning, which in turn led to a little bit of rebellion. Great work! I also saw that you’re kinda new to Reedsy, so, welcome! Glad to have you as part of the community, and I can’t wait to read more from you!

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13:48 Mar 03, 2021

Thank you for that! I’m excited to be apart of this community because I loveee to write!🌸

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Okay... I am in love. This cam out at just the right time, I was thinking about my friend Emmie leaving, and this really hit me good. Thank you!

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21:44 Mar 02, 2021

Oh my gosh, no thank you! I’m so glad you like it! It really means a lot to me when readers can connect To stories so thank you!🌸

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Daniel Hayes
19:34 Mar 02, 2021

What a great story, I loved it. You did a really good job writing it :)

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19:37 Mar 02, 2021

Thank you, Daniel! I really appreciate the positive feedback. Your stories are wonderful as well🌸

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Daniel Hayes
23:57 Mar 02, 2021

Your welcome, and thanks for saying my stories wonderful. I can't wait for your next story :)

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Marianna Mills
21:55 Mar 19, 2021

Love this story, well written and liked how u capitalized "Mother" using that as her name, very consistent and organized, well done.

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22:19 Mar 19, 2021

Thank you so much Marianna!🌸

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Angel Elle
17:12 Mar 06, 2021

Great story! But I’m confused why Akali would be taller than the narrator if Akali is only 4 years old...?

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Angel Elle
17:13 Mar 06, 2021

Is the narrator a short five-year-old? :)

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18:04 Mar 06, 2021

I’m sorry for the confusion! When I say since, I really mean ever since. Like when she turned 4 she wanted to be right all the time and ever since then she has been like that. Zachary is 16 and Akali is 19.

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18:04 Mar 06, 2021

If your still confused tell me! And thank you for the compliment on my story:)

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Angel Elle
18:59 Mar 06, 2021

No, that clears it up. Thanks :)

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Tru Sorcerer
02:16 Mar 05, 2021

wow, Tay🌸 (would you mind me calling you that?), this is really amazing! It was kinda monologue-ly but that actually made it flow better, your style is marvelous. Is this your first story? Like in reedsy? That's just awesome if yes. And thank you for the likes (would you mind giving some feedback?), the likes made me find an awesome author! XD Happy today!

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14:10 Mar 05, 2021

Thank you and that’s fine! I don’t give that much good feedback because I’m not the best writer but I’ll try!🌸

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Tru Sorcerer
11:02 Mar 06, 2021

=) Thank you so much, tho i hope that i am not a botheration! Well, ok, maybe not THE best, but you are an AWESOME writer, Tay!

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Philip Clayberg
20:14 Mar 03, 2021

Thank you for writing this story. It's really good. It's never easy leaving the familiar life behind and heading out into the unknown. But, as with Zachary, sometimes it's better to leave and face the challenges of the unknown than to stay and continue living an unhappy life. I think that Zachary was very brave to make the decision he made and putting it into action. After all, it would've been easier (and unpleasant) to stay on the island. I wish the fictitious Zachary good luck and hope his new life is happier than the one he left be...

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20:29 Mar 03, 2021

Thank you!🌸

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Philip Clayberg
21:20 Mar 03, 2021

You're welcome. I apologize for the extensive quoting from your story, but I figured that might make it easier to track down what I'm discussing and then decide for yourself if you agree with my suggestion(s) or not. When I first edited stories (not mine, which I do mostly offline), I used to just quote the bit that I thought might need fixing. Later, I thought that that might not be helpful enough, so I would quote more extensively (maybe sometimes too extensively, like in my comments about your story). So far, very few writers on this ...

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13:32 Mar 04, 2021

Yeah, your really good! I really appreciate the help!🌸

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Philip Clayberg
15:23 Mar 04, 2021

Glad I can help. When I'm editing my own stories, I don't actually list the editing problems; I just fix them before submitting the stories to this website. But sometimes (sometimes? more than just sometimes) I'll find mistakes after I submit a story. Sometimes, though, I get really lucky and a story only needs a few fixes. But, more typically, it can take up to several days (during which I reread multiple times and, sadly, find yet more mistakes) to finally decide that I've done the best I can with the editing of a story and I put it a...

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16:11 Mar 04, 2021

But actually that’s something I struggle with: editing. Also, being descriptive gets the best of me. Any tips on being descriptive in stories?

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12:48 Mar 01, 2021

This was amazing, Tayler!!! I absolutely adore this storyline, but I would like some more raw emotional moments, maybe the mom confronting him and saying goodbye. Other than that, keep it up and great job!!!

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13:28 Mar 01, 2021

Thank you so much!!! I will make sure to add more details in my upcoming short stories!😁

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13:41 Mar 01, 2021

No problem!

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Alone Warrior
12:53 Apr 14, 2021

Hey there! I was wondering if you wanted to be in one of my story’s! Form is in my bio! Thx!

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21:30 Apr 14, 2021

Why not? Count me in!

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Alone Warrior
21:42 Apr 14, 2021

Omg! Thanks!

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Diego Cortes
04:39 Mar 24, 2021

wow

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12:45 Mar 24, 2021

Thank you Diego! I really appreciate it🌸

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β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œYOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ - Starlight

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16:45 Mar 13, 2021

THANK YOU STARLIGHT YOUR SO NICE! YOU ARE A WONDERFUL WRITER AS WELL!🌸

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Amber Chelle
19:26 Mar 11, 2021

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I like the suspense that I felt, wondering if the kids were going to be taken. Good job!

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12:50 Mar 12, 2021

Thanks so much!🌸

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Great story, and welcome to Reedsy! I kinda skimmed, but a good start as your first story from what I read! I'm not that popular, so a follow, like, or comment would be really appreciated! - Starlight

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19:53 Mar 10, 2021

Thank you! How long have you been on Reedsy?

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16:45 Mar 13, 2021

I’m new but I feel like I’ve been here for a long time! The community is so welcoming and I love it!

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Yvone Mthembu
12:01 Mar 10, 2021

Hy Tee I loved this story what I like the best is that it is simple yet enjoyable, I was thinking human trafficking/hostile take over/drama but It was not there and there was no need for it.I tend to rant a lot .Congratulations once more

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13:46 Mar 10, 2021

Thanks so much!🌸

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Cara Aideen
18:08 Mar 09, 2021

I really enjoyed your story. I loved how you started and ended it with 'my life will begin soon' almost making have the feel of a cyclical narrative. It was really smart how you added details such as the bracelet made of seashells and fishbones it made your story that much more realistic and believable.

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