Hello everyone! I hope you are having an AMAZING week! This is a scene that I'm writing for my first novel! Any tips?
Like always, feedback is always appreciated! Thanks!
(PS: Thinking about changing my name, lemme know if you have any suggestions!)
My family, -and the kingdom, didn't know I existed until my sister died.
A very tragic day; The gunshot still ringing in my ear whenever I zoned out of class. Her face in shock, as she fell to the floor of the opera. The pure silence after that moment.
Then came the panic.
It was her big day. Princess Taylor's first opera concert. She was only twenty, her coronation only a couple weeks away.
My parents sat in a box with a great view of the stage; Along with me, hood covering my face.
If anyone saw me, then the family would crumble.
The kingdom had a law, tradition held since the beginning of the dynasty. The royal bloodline could only produce one heir. Not one more. If a queen found herself pregnant with a second, the baby would be given away to another family, or left out to the forest surrounding the kingdom.
And being born four years after my sister, I should have been dead.
Which was what the people thought.
However, my mother couldn't bear to throw me away. So, I was raised in the castle in secret, my existence only known by my parents and sister. I was trained what my sister was taught, only in hushed silence as the maids and cooks finally went in for the night.
I was there during all official sighting and proclamations, although I always wore a dark hood over my head, and my parents would explain that I was a lady in training, watching the princess's every move to graduate from my training.
And I came to my sister's big day, her first concert at the opera. I will always remember her voice. They called her the Nightingale, with a sweet voice told across the land.
She sang her final note. Everyone stood up and clapped, no one louder than me.
The shot rang out.
My sister looked to me, eyes wide.
She dropped dead to the floor.
"Mother, why do I have to reveal myself? Wouldn't it cause treason to you and father?"
"Perhaps," my mother said, pursing her lips as she finished brushing my long, amber hair. "But you are the next in line for the throne, whether they like it or not."
"What do I say?" I question. As soon as I come out of that stage, who knows what could happen? I could be cheered on, be neglected, or possibly shot like my dear sister.
How quickly things change.
I sighed, biting my lips.
"Stand up," my mother said. I stood up as she laced the corset on me.
"What if they don't accept me?" I ask, shakily.
She gave me a sad look, "We'll see, won't we?"
I sighed. I never expected to become queen. That was supposed to be Taylor. But me? A real queen? Would I even do well? Would my sister be proud of me, taking her legacy? Would I be the queen my kingdom deserved? Would I enjoy it? All that arose were more and more doubts.
I held my breath as I exited the room, maids and stewards staring at me.
In my sister's crown. Green emeralds instead of yellow ambers.
"My people," my father started, "We cannot express our grief for Princess Taylor, as we will never understand yours, for you have loved and cared for her in ways that cannot be expressed in words. She will always live on, in our hearts she has touched. She may be gone, but she has grown new wings, and our Nightingale will always sing her lovely melody, no matter where she is." The kingdom cheered to that.
"Now, I hope you welcome the second heir with the same love and kindness you had treated her." A couple gasps, but mainly there was silence at this.
I want next to my father, wearing a shimmering emerald gown, with golden touches. I wore golden jewelry, and golden vines wrapped through my curled hair. My crown shined in the sunlight, and was a sight to behold.
I couldn't have been more miserable.
As the kingdom cheered on, I kept up my fake smile, barely practiced, although no one could tell.
"Speech!" A man shouted.
"Yes, speech!" A women exclaimed. Before I knew it, everyone was excited to hear me speak. Me.
I held my breath, and started to speak.
"Hello, I'm the future princess, Kiara. You probably don't know me. I've been in hiding for the past sixteen years or my life, because of the law stating that royals may only have one heir, not one more. You may be hesitant about whether I'm fit to lead, doubts I have about myself. But I've studied the same things my sister has, except not publicly. I know diplomacy, reading, writing, algebra, geometry, geography, history, and much more. My sister even tutored me, after everyone went to bed. Will I be a great queen? We don't know. All I can say is that I will try to be the queen you deserve. The queen my sister was."
By the end, even the toughest of souls shed a small tear. I didn't know I had what my sister had in me. The ability to help people. The ability to help others feel. The ability to have a powerful voice to impact others.
Even so, something felt very off. I didn't enjoy it. And it scared me. Was this what I wanted? Or was this a mistake?
"You did wonderful!" said my mother. She gave me a quick hug, but pulled away quick. Even with family, it was improper to hug for a long time.
"Thanks," I said.
"Now you just have to get through your coronation."