34 comments

Jan 27, 2021

Romance Sad

Dear May, 

I miss your eyes. They’re brown, a very deep brown. You hated them. But you didn’t see them like I did. Whenever you spoke of your flowers or happy memories, the sparkle of your joy would gleam in your eyes, glistening with hope and meaning. I miss the way you would look at me. Like I was something special. You’re the special one, you always were. As I write this, it’s morning, and the sunlight is peeking in the windows. Your eyes would be glued to the sun right now, and I’d be staring at you, wondering how someone could be so close to perfect. They say you won’t reply quick enough this way. They say I’m wasting my time. But I want to pretend we have a mysterious love story. I want to pretend I’m running away, like I’m stamping this in a hurry, like this is the only way to reach you without getting tracked. It’s better than reality. Fantasy always is. Besides, I don’t have your number, so this is the only way I can reach you. Heaven knows when, or even if you’ll get this. I think of you every day, you know. Sorry it took me so long to try and find a way to reach you. Do you miss me too?

With love,

Noah

Dear May,

I miss your smile. It was so sweet, so innocent. Rarely ever fake, because even the smallest things made you happy. Every time you’d smile and look at me, I couldn’t help but smile back. You’d purposely smile if I was having a bad day. Always trying to cheer me up. Don’t you know just you being there makes me happy? You haven’t written back yet. I’m blaming it on the mailman. Or maybe your mother threw the letter away before you could read it. She never did like me. Maybe I’ll put a different name on the envelope of this one, so it isn’t thrown away. But then it’ll look like some sort of spam mail. Is there spam mail, or only spam email? I’ll have to pay attention next time my grandmother goes on and on about back in her days. Maybe I’ll learn something. It’s around mid-afternoon right now. It’s a very dull time of day without you. 

Write back soon,

Noah

Dear May, 

I miss your hands. They’re so small and soft. They were always so cold, and you’d make me warm them up during winter. I didn’t mind if it gave me an excuse to hold your hand. You used your hands for so many things. Gardening was your favorite. I loved watching you garden. Your mother would tell you to garden something useful like vegetables, but you’d ignore her and plant your daisies and irises and everything you could find in the little market. Your hands moved swiftly, delicately touching the stems. I wish I had hands like yours, but my hands are large and clumsy and terrible for gardening. Do you still garden? You used to say you’d never stop, that one day we’d plant sunflowers together. I miss having those talks. I remember at the beach, you’d like to trace small hearts in the sand, and watch the waves wash them away. Your hands were good at everything. Your handwriting was always neater than mine. I hope I see your handwriting soon. Your cursive was lovely, and everyone in school used to ask you to write their names for them fancily. Of course you’d do it.  You were everyone’s friend. Everyone loved you, and you happily loved them back. You’re a ray of sunshine in a bland world, May. 

Keep shining,

Noah

Dear May,

I miss your voice. I know you never sang, but I don’t mean it in that way. I just miss our conversations. I miss when you used to tell me you loved me. I miss whispering with you when we weren’t supposed to be talking. I miss holding back my laughter with you. Nobody wants to talk to me anymore. I feel lonely, and it’s even worse when you aren’t alone. I miss listening to you talk. The teachers used to say you were quiet, but they knew nothing. No one knows you like I do. If you’re quiet, there’s just nothing to say. If you ever get these letters, which I’m sure are getting lost at this point, write me your number. I want to hear you. I want to close my eyes and pretend we’re close to each other. I’m good at pretending May, but I’m not good at pretending I’m okay. My mother is worried for me. She says she’s never seen me writing so much. I told her I’m fine, my hand’s only cramping a little. She says you aren’t answering and I should give it up. What do mothers know anyway, right? Everyone says they want the best for us, but they really want the best for themselves. They don’t want to look bad, so we have to be perfect. Is your mother still pushing you to be perfect? I wish we were together so I could help you like I used to. If I even made a difference. We should meet somewhere and then run away together. That’d be fun. 

Run away with me?

Noah

May,

I miss your stories. You’d tell me tales as we walked along the shore, the words falling out of you so fast, one would think they were true memories. Your mother called it lying, but you, you called it art. I always told you to write them down, but you never did. You aren’t replying yet, but if you ever do, maybe you’re bored enough to sit down and write me something. If you send that, you don’t even have to write a letter. You twist reality into the words, so I can figure it out. I just want to know if you’re reading these, that’s all. Are you ignoring me? Are you laughing that I still think of you, after all this time? Maybe you read them and throw them away yourself. Your mother might be rubbing off too much on you if you’re spending too much time alone. Are you even alone? It always seemed like you could mingle and make friends so easily, so that’s probably what you’ve done. You might not even remember my name. I’ll never forget yours. May. You aren’t born in May. I wonder why your mother chose to name you May. Who cares about your mother though, I only miss you. Your name matches your love for flowers. What is it they say, April showers bring May flowers? You loved the rain. On rainy days you didn’t have to water your flowers. I hate the rain. At least I do now. All it does is remind me of you. I think the mailman hates me now, I’m always asking him if there’s anything for me. Perhaps I’m not writing my address clear enough? I can’t imagine how people used to write letters so often. Then again, I think they only used it for important things back then. Peace treaties and things. You’re important to me, you know.

Noah

Dear May,

I miss you. All of you. I miss you so much it hurts. I feel so empty without you. Everything is dark without you. I miss walking with you, I miss sharing secrets, I miss your friendliness, I just miss being with you May. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could relive our memories. Do you remember that time we jumped in the lake with all our clothes on? You got a cold. Your mother had scolded you but we didn’t care. Do you remember our first kiss? Do you remember how your mother reacted when we told her? Do you remember how I used to braid your hair? Do you remember the day you drew all over your hands, flowers and trees, with that black pen I gave you? Do you even remember me? How could you forget me, May? Maybe you’ve forgotten me on purpose. Maybe it was all a joke. Am I a joke to you May? I’m a joke to everyone else. Especially my mother. She says she’s throwing my paper away, just so I won’t write you anymore. So this is my last letter. Until I can find more paper, of course. I wonder if someone random is receiving these. Laughing at me. Maybe I’ve been writing your address wrong this whole time. I hate letters. I hate stamps and I hate the mailman especially. I would hate you, but I can’t. I could never. My sister planted some flowers today. You would like them. My sister always liked you. Then again, who didn’t?

Please don’t forget me May. 

Noah

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34 comments

20:56 Feb 04, 2021

Hi, Amany! I was paired with your story by Reedsy's critique circle, so I've got a little feedback for you. First of all, congrats on the story! A story that unfolds in the form of letters is never an easy thing to balance, but you have done a nice job of focusing on the protagonist's feelings in a way that lends the letters a genuine quality while still providing a character arc which makes for a gratifying story. The shift in emotional tone over the course of the letters - from longing to mounting frustration to resignation and finally to...

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Amany Sayed
23:08 Feb 04, 2021

Hello! Firstly, thank you so much for such an insightful critique! You have no clue how much it means to me. Thank you so much! I find epistolary form stories to be really fun to write, as it's almost an easier form of first-person writing. These types of questions are certainly important in a piece like this, as they keep the reader reading! :) This part was meant to align my story with the prompt. 'They' generally refers to his parents, possibly any friends he may have told about his dilemma. This way being his choice of writing letters...

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01:17 Feb 05, 2021

Sure thing. It was a pleasure to read :)

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Breakup stories always break me, but this was such a good job. Maybe... maybe a little too good. Idk where this came from, but this is basically exactly how it felt for me with my last breakup, with almost the exact wording. Very believable!

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Amany Sayed
14:18 Feb 01, 2021

Thanks so much! Aw, I've never had any experience, so I'm glad it's accurate, but I'm sorry you had to go through that. :( Thanks for your time E!

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Amaya Macaulay
23:30 Jan 29, 2021

maybe "i miss you" as the title?

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Amany Sayed
00:29 Jan 30, 2021

i kinda like the one i have now, what do you think? it's way less cliche

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Amaya Macaulay
01:50 Jan 30, 2021

i like it!

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Maya W.
20:12 Jan 27, 2021

Amazing, Amany! Sorry I haven't been able to catch up on your stories these days. This actually reminds me of a story I wrote a few weeks ago, Ten Seconds of Jessamine. It was really fun to write, as I'm sure this one was too. The emotions of the writer are so perfectly written out in the letters. Just perfect. If anything, I'd say this could be a bit longer, and there could be a little bit more unity between the the different letters, so just a thought. All in all, you did incredible, though, and I will definitely read your other stories fr...

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Amany Sayed
20:17 Jan 27, 2021

Thanks Maya! No hard feelings! It was so fun for sure! I was planning on making it longer but I need up leaving it. Of course!

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Maya W.
20:18 Jan 27, 2021

Awesome, thanks! The letter format is fun, but I haven't posted any of mine because I hate them, lol. Yours is much better.

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Amany Sayed
20:23 Jan 27, 2021

Ha, don't say that!

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Maya W.
20:25 Jan 27, 2021

Literally, my letters just turn into me ranting to old friends with slightly different names, lol.

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Elizabeth Inkim
04:12 Feb 20, 2021

*cue dropped jaw and single tear* How did you write a love story I never knew I needed? The letter format was brilliant! Phenomenal storyline and concept; I am speechless.

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Amany Sayed
04:14 Feb 20, 2021

*hands you a tissue* No clue ;) Thank you for the compliments!

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Elizabeth Inkim
04:18 Feb 20, 2021

Praise where praise is warranted, and this was earned. BTW what's your favourite genre to write?

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Amany Sayed
04:20 Feb 20, 2021

Isn't it obvious yet? Romance. Also realistic fiction, and I'm into fantasy.

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Elizabeth Inkim
04:31 Feb 20, 2021

You know it is, but who's to say? But fantasy is defiantly my everything. Most of my stories have major fantasy elements. I once wrote a romance dueology with "A Rose By Any Other Name" and "Dum Spiro, Spero", and I am happy to say they're still my favourite interlinking stories. So if you ever get around to it, I recommend: Enigmas of the Shadow Sea A Rose By Any Other Name Aureolus Ashes Dum Spiro, Spero Lighting in a Bottle You can read them in any order (with the exception of "A Rose By Any Other Name" and "Dum Spiro, Spero"), but I th...

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20:26 Feb 07, 2021

Love sad stories! Especially sad love stories. Though they are pretty sad. I loved this Amany it was very touching and beautiful. I love how you made May not respond because it really made me feel for Noah. I enjoyed the format and the repetition of "i miss you" it was really nice and beautiful and very sad. You have truly improved your writing! Great job Amany! Keep writing!

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Amany Sayed
21:25 Feb 07, 2021

True. Thank you so much! Aw, thank you! I will!

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Tru Sorcerer
12:54 Jan 29, 2021

Hi, love your profile pic And enormously loved your epistolary story! I don't know why but sometimes I find epistolaries kinda boring, but your's is out of the universe! This story is so sad yet beautiful and I loved the details which tied it all together and which made this so unique.

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Amany Sayed
14:20 Jan 29, 2021

Thank you! Aw, much appreciated :) Wow, thank you! Thanks for your time!

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Amaya Macaulay
01:55 Jan 29, 2021

you know, people think that hufflepuff is a different type of house but Helga Hufflepuff created the house because she thought categorizing kids at eleven didn't make sense, and who says kids can be defined by one of four things? just saying :) so for the story: I loved the way you wrote it in a letter format. The characters, like Aerin said, were so so vivid and it was amazing how you managed to convey that through the letters. This was sad, and I liked how you didn't just say out loud what had happened but had us slowly realize through...

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Amany Sayed
02:05 Jan 29, 2021

Hey, cool :) Thanks so much Amaya! See, the title used to be 'remember' but someone said it didn't match. What do YOU think? I'm really conflicted on it lol. You're not the first to say that. I don't know how i could add it in now though. Besides, where would he get the hope from? No answers or replies, and he's lonely and down at home too. Aw, much appreciated! Awesome! I'll check it out ASAP!

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Amaya Macaulay
02:09 Jan 29, 2021

:) ooh, i like both honestly. whatever you feel clicks better. I hate when people tell me when I ask for advice but I honestly don't know either. Yeah, I don't really know either. You know, it would be sorta cool if he could have more hope in the beginning and it slowly fades. Just a thought. ofc! thank you!

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Litlover 📖
16:33 Jan 27, 2021

THIS WAS SOOOOOOO GOOD!!! I would recommend adding a little larger touch of insanity, maybe him saying "you'll come back to me, I know it." I feel like false hope is a great tool in stories like these. I LARBED THIS!!!!

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Amany Sayed
16:35 Jan 27, 2021

Wow you came fast! THANK YOUUUU! I was going to make her dead and him in denial, but I changed my mind. Thanks for your feedback Luke! :D Also, question, do you think the title fits?

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Litlover 📖
16:39 Jan 27, 2021

XD I spam the refresh button on the activity pageeeeeeeeeeeeee. No problem and IT WAS SO GOOD!!!! The title was great!!

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11:12 Jan 28, 2021

This is too beautiful. I'm sure about a shortlist atleast. Though, I'm not so sure about the title... maybe something like Lost Letters Your small hands i still miss you. Though these are just my 2 cents. So beautiful. -S

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Amany Sayed
12:49 Jan 28, 2021

HA, maybe lol. I don't like it either, I'm going to think about it. Thanks for the suggestions. (do you like dear may?) Thank you Sia!

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14:11 Jan 28, 2021

Okay, Welcome! Its good! Any other suggestions?

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17:09 Jan 27, 2021

JASCNJJWEBFQJEFNQEJFNWEF SOOO GOOD!! Is definitely different from what your normally like but I loved it. It’s sweet and sad but hopeful, and the characters are so vivid (even though May didn’t actually come into the story, lol). I love the soft repetition of ‘I miss’ scattered through each letter and how 🥲 the last few lines are. Awesomeeeee!

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Amany Sayed
17:10 Jan 27, 2021

LKADJFAKLSD THANK YOU! Yeah, for sure! Thanks for reading Aerin!

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B. W.
18:16 Jan 29, 2021

Could we talk? Its been a while

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