16 comments

Jan 20, 2021

Adventure Funny Holiday

Here we go again... staying in the same old, dusty, creepy looking cabin. No Heat, No Electricity, and No Wifi, which sucks! so this is the only place we can stay in, while we have a cold, boring winter vacation. Mom always says that I cant use my phone nor play Video Games while we're on winter vacation. We have to spend time together as a family. There's nothing to do... I'm starving right now and we have just enough food that will last less than a week. We were going to stay here for five days, but the stay had to increase because a blizzard occurred. When it stopped, Dad tried opening the door and it would barely budge open. It finally flew open, with the wind, snow piled into the doorway. He had to climb out the window, by stepping on a wooden chair, that surprisingly didn’t break, and forced his way through by shoveling the snow. When he got to the van it wouldn’t turn on. After that, we didn’t get a big snow storm. A little drizzle of snow here and there. As I crept into the hallway, I overhear Mom and Dad arguing about the same thing, how they’re going to get food and heat. I hate hearing the same argument over and over again. That’s all I’ve been hearing the past six days. I go into the bathroom and scrub my teeth, with the little amount of toothpaste that is left, and head downstairs. When I enter the kitchen, the arguing stops.


 "Oh. Good morning, honey... Did you sleep well? Get some cereal while you're down here, so you don't pass out. Later on today, I will try to fix you something to eat." 


"Good morning, Lucas,” Dad says, still staring at the newspaper he found from the last time we stayed here over Winter Vacation. 


I can tell my mom is trying to make it seem that everything's okay. I didn't know starving, freezing, and dying of boredom can be 'okay'. I head over to the cabinet, where the half eaten cereal box is left. The cabinet door screeches when I open it. Still not surprised Dad didn't try to fix the old thing. I grab my favorite cereal box, and the only one that is there, Frosted Flakes. I look over at Mom to see if she's looking at how much cereal I pour. She isn't, so I fill it to the max. I walk to the ugly coat rack, with my bowl of cereal in my hand. I lay the bowl on the floor and put on my coat and head to the front door. I push the door hard to release the wind pushing against it. It flew open and I collapsed onto the frozen, cold ground. As I get up a cold breeze of air smacks my face. I'm so cold I think I'm going to die of hypothermia. I travel through the path my Dad dug up. I grab the milk sitting in the cold snow, its rock solid. How am I going to eat cereal now? Dry cereal? This is nuts. I wish we had stayed home, so that I could have my regular life again. Having Wi-Fi, electricity, food and Video Games. I miss playing Video Games with Ryan and CJ. I would really love going back home, but I'm stuck in this boring, old Winter Cabin. Later on that night, we have a quiet dinner on the unbalanced table. I finished my food and before I could go upstairs Mom asks me to help her clean up. Since I have nothing else to do, I oblige. I grab the plates and utensils and walk over to the sink, while she wipes down the table with a rag. After helping my mom clean up, my parents give me a kiss on my forehead and I go upstairs. I brush my teeth and go to bed. Hearing my dad snore at night is annoying because I can't sleep. I close my eyes and hope to have a good dream since I've been trapped in this boring cabin. 


The next day is the same. Wake up, eat what's left, and go back upstairs. I lie on my bed, thinking of some brilliant thing to do, but like usual, nothing comes to mind. I get up and wander the room. Every step I take, creaking occurs. I’ll sneak out. That’s what’ll do. Nothing better to do anyway, besides stare at cobwebs. I open my dusty closet and grab my snow boots and put them on. I walk over to the corner of the bed and grab my backpack. I quickly put my flashlight inside just in case I stay out too long. I go onto the hallway and make my way down stairs, trying not to look suspicious. I head over to the kitchen and mom asks me why I have my snow boots on. 


“Oh, I'm just cold,” I say. 


She stares at me, without saying a word, while I grab 2 granola bars from the cabinet. I head back upstairs and into my room. I slowly open my bedroom window. The roof is slippery with the ice that had gotten stuck on it. I sneak out under and when I take my first step, I slip on the ice and land on my back. Ouch! I get up and dust the snow off my hands. I see my Dad traveling to the door, but by the time he opens it and turns the corner to where I fell, I'm already gone and into the woods. I'm already exhausted. I pause and look up. I see trees waving their arms and birds chirping, with joy, as I walk by. This is better than staying inside all day. I continue to trek, until I come to a halt, seeing a cabin that looks quite similar to the old, tedious cabin we're staying in. I hear a man yelling, sounding very mad. Suddenly he gets in a dark red pickup truck and screeches down the pathway of cleared snow. I think of the idea of going inside the cabin, and seeing what I can take or discover. I head for the front door, but it turns out to be locked. I run towards the back door, but it's also locked. I suddenly feel like coming all this way out was useless. This is the last try, I go to the side of the cabin, and I see the window is cracked open. I pull open the window and it makes a screeching sound that will instantly blow your eardrums. And I thought our windows were bad… I look around and find a pile of stacked newspapers, a half eaten pizza and a pack of beer. I find the kitchen and open the cabinets. Inside, there’s lots of canned fruits, beans, and vegetables. I quickly stuff my bag with all the food that I can. I hear a key rattling and a man talking. Oh no! That guy is back. I rushed towards the window and jumped out, I didn't have enough time to close it. I took a break from all the running in the woods. It had gotten dark so I unzipped my bag and took out my flashlight and I got startled from all the noises I heard around me. After a couple minutes of traveling I saw our cabin, I got inside.


“Where were you? We were worried sick!” my parents asked and yelled in unison.


"I can't really ground you because -well your basically in a terrible state already," Dad says.


“Lucas, what do you have in your bag?” Mom questions.


“Nothing," I say with anger boiling in me.


“Lucas, I am not going to ask you again! What do you have in your bag?”


“Canned foods..." I say under my breath.


My mom snatches my bag and looks through it.


“Where did you get all of this?!"


“It's going to take a long time to explain everything".


“All we have is time. We're listening".


...

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

16 comments

I think this story is really great! I loved it! :)

Reply

Xander Dmer
18:03 Jan 21, 2021

Thank You! Im glad you liked it :)

Reply

Of course Xander!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Jay Dmer
20:03 Jan 20, 2021

I'm very glad this story turned out the way it did. You have great/funny plot ideas. With the help of feedback, comments from others, and a few tweaks, your idea will expand. Happy my critiques helped your story get pulled together. Nice job:) Ps. Continue making more stories.

Reply

Xander Dmer
20:08 Jan 20, 2021

Thank You! Im glad that you liked it :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Xander Dmer
20:55 Feb 08, 2021

Why are there DOWNVOTERS????? I mean think to yourself. . . What is downvoting someone doing??? Lowering peoples Karma Points ( Not Nice! ) Positive Energy NOT negative :D :D :D XD XD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Whitney Jones
22:14 Feb 11, 2021

You really need to reread you story before you post it. Or you can read it after you post it and then edit it before it's approved or something. Punctuation and grammar mistakes where really all that was there. Other than that good story. Also, the part that says "dad tried to open the door but it would barely budge open' You should try everything not to repeat the words that you say. (I did that once and I couldn't even fix it). And it made sense without the extra open. Also try to make your paragraphs not as long, that way it's not so........

Reply

Show 0 replies

I think the storytelling and tone are really good, but I just didn’t really feel compelled until the end. It felt almost too casual. Still, that ending turned out really good!

Reply

Xander Dmer
12:52 Feb 09, 2021

Hey Hades! Im glad that you liked my story :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ijeoma Okoli
18:04 Jan 30, 2021

Wow. Its nice. Please like mine. Favourite hobby

Reply

Show 0 replies
Avis Kay
20:45 Jan 26, 2021

Interesting. I'm lost as to why Lucas didn't ask though . . .

Reply

Xander Dmer
21:26 Jan 26, 2021

Im not sure im following what you are asking... Lucas is the son of the parents.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Xander Dmer
21:27 Jan 26, 2021

Or are you asking about them staying in the same cabin.

Reply

Avis Kay
22:14 Jan 26, 2021

Lucas broke into someone's cabin and stole stuff?

Reply

Xander Dmer
22:16 Jan 26, 2021

Yea, he did. He did it bc he didn't want his parents arguing about the same thing everyday. Also because he was bored.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Cookie Carla🍪
16:34 May 14, 2021

This story was unique. I don't necessarily like stories with big paragraphs, I prefer to read stories with more break lines so it doesn't give me school essay vibes. Overall, you did a really good job with this story and I could tell you put some thought into the plot. Some things I did notice: 1. You capitalized a lot of unnecessary words in the beginning 2. You know how somebody just talks on and on and on and you're just thinking 'When are you going to shut up', I'm going to be completely honest, this story gave me the same vibes. Like ...

Reply

Show 0 replies