The 911 Call

Submitted for Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt

5 comments

Jan 14, 2021

American Drama

Author's Note: This is a sequel to "All for a Book", for those of you who don't know. If you have not read "All for a Book" please make sure to read that one before you read this this!


For those of you who are confused, the dialogue written in italics is spoken by Mr Brown, who is the officer who answered Mr Aston, and the dialogue written in normal is spoken by Mr Aston, who is Mavery's husband, and at the end, it is spoken by a paramedic. Enjoy!




911? 911?


911 calling. What is your state of emergency?


Hi, my wife Mavery just dropped down onto her laptop. I think she fainted. It's an emergency.


Is she breathing?


I just checked. She's hyperventilating! I think she has trouble breathing. She's wheezing pretty bad. Please help!


Okay, listen, Mr - Mr...


Mr Aston!


Mr Aston, I want you to bring her gently to her floor, do you know CPR?


No! Agh! Please tell me! Look, she's all I got! I don't wanna lose her!

Mr Aston. Please remain calm. Can you pull her onto the floor on her back, and compress her chest?


Okay, but what if I do something wrong?


Just compress it!


I'm compressing right now, but I don't know if she's breathing. Oh no! She's wheezing pretty hard now!


Okay, that means you're not compressing well. Compress in the middle of her chest, out and in. Do it until the ambulance comes

Okay.


May I know your address details?


Um, um...I'm don't remember the exact address. But I can check.


No! Don't leave your wife!


Okay, um lemme just tell you what I remember. Maple Street, sixty-four, um...Brown Lane.


Uh-huh, okay.


Mave, please wake up. You're all I've got. I wish you didn't do that resolution, honey. Please.


Okay, Mr Aston. The address works. The ambulance is on its way. How is your wife doing? Is she breathing?


Um, yeah, it's a little steady now.


Good. Continue to compress.


God! When is the ambulance coming? My wife is struggling to breathe over here and it's been fifteen minutes and the ambulance hasn't arrived!


Patience, Mr Aston.


Y-yeah. L-l-look here, Mr 911 guy, she's all I got. I need her to stay alive. Please. Can't you ask the ambulance to speed up?


Look, all I know is that they are on their way.


Yeah right.


What was that?


Nothing.


Now, I want you to tell me how exactly your wife fainted.


I don't know, and I don't want to talk about it.


You have to tell me, Mr Aston. It's important.


Look, all I know is that she was working on a New Year Resolution -

For next year?


No! She's always been trying to accomplish this resolution for four years and she finally finished it this year.


At the end of the month?


That is not the point.


Continue.


She didn't really eat much or communicate. She had a party, but she didn't attend, and she mostly shut herself up in her room and worked on it.


What was her resolution?



To finish writing a book.


I see, please continue.


So at times, she was pretty exhausted, but she forced herself to go on. She had black circles under her eyes every day.

Did she write on paper?


No. On a laptop.


Of course.


What do you mean "of course"?


Too much screentime isn't good for anybody.


I know. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen. And then one morning, I-I, w-w-walked into h-her room, and I saw h-her. Just dropped onto her l-l-laptop.


I see.


I don't know how long she was knocked out cold for. I j-just know that she was breathing pretty harsh when I found her and I called you immediately.


I see.


Is she going to die? My wife?


I honestly don't know, Mr Aston.


I've compressed for about sixty-eight times. Do I continue?


Try stopping for a while, to see if she's breathing on her own.


Are you sure?


Yes.


She's wheezing again!


Are you quite sure? Normally the patient would have started breathing by herself by now.


Don't scare me! My wife is going to make it!


Of course, Mr Aston.


I just, m-my w-wife's everything t-to me.


Please don't cry, Mr Aston. Soothe down a little. The ambulance has arrived.


They have?


Yes. Now, stop compressing for a bit. Is she breathing on her own?


No. She's wheezing. Help!


Okay, I need you to rush down and open the door for the paramedics, and then quickly go to your wife.


You want me to leave my wife? What if she stops breathing?


It's a risk, Mr Aston, but the paramedics need to come in, and the door is locked.


I know, but I don't take risks.


Mr Aston!


I'm going, and I'm taking the phone with me!


Good.


Shoot.


What happened?


I can't find the door keys for the stupid door!


Hurry up, Mr Aston! Your wife needs you!


I CAN'T FIND THE KEYS!


What was that sound?


Me blasting the door open, I'm going to my wife.


Hurry, and resume the compressing, Mr Aston. If she was wheezing before, that means she's struggling to breathe.


Oh no. No. No, no-no. No. No.No. No, no, no. Please, no.


What happened Mr Aston? Mr Aston? Mr Aston? Is your wife okay?


Hello?


YOU KILLED MY WIFE. You killed my wife. You killed her. I-I-I-I, how dare you. You - you - you. You killed her.


What? What? Call the paramedics in. Immediately. Are you sure? Is she breathing?


NO! NO! NO! MAVE, HONEY. PLEASE. Please. Please. I love you. I love you, please. Wake up. Please. Please.


Hello?


Hi Mr Brown. This is the paramedics here. I'm afraid that we couldn't saw Mavery in time. She stopped breathing.


What about Mr Aston?


He's in hysterics right now. sobbing on his bed, red-faced, on the floor, banging the walls.


I'm so sorry Mr Aston. I'm sorry. So sorry. It was my fault.

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5 comments

Niveeidha Palani
09:02 Jan 14, 2021

Any title suggestions? I ran out of ideas, so I'd be willing to take on yours! Constructive feedback and criticism appreciated.

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05:46 Jan 21, 2021

Hello your story has great harmony and smoothness, you read it comfortably, and its events are perfectly understandable.

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Niveeidha Palani
12:52 Jan 21, 2021

Aw, thank you so much. That was what I intended to do. :)

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Nirosha P
00:14 Jan 18, 2021

Amazing story! It would have been better if there was more content but other than that a perfectly lovely story that kept you on your feet!

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Niveeidha Palani
00:54 Jan 18, 2021

Thank you so much, Nirosha. I don't understand what you mean by more content? Could you elaborate further? As in, you wanted a longer story?

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