New to Feelings

Submitted for Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt

17 comments

Jan 14, 2021

Romance High School Friendship

“It appears you’re catching feelings for him.”

“Well, how do I throw them back?”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that.”

“So I’m stuck like this?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is. For me at least.”

“Love is beautiful. It’s tingly and warm and-”

“Sure love is, but I’m too young to love. This is just like. It’s just a small crush, it’ll be gone in a week, you’ll see.”

“Ah, dear, sure.

***

“It’s raining.”

“What a wonderful observation you’ve made. It’s not like I feel the water or wind or anything. I can barely even hear it against the windows.”

“You look cold.”

“I’m fine. I’m always fine.”

“No one in the world is always fine. There’s always a tipping point.”

“I don’t have one.”

“Right.”

“What are you doing, you’ll die in this weather if you take off your jacket!”

“Take it.”

“Don’t push it towards me like that. I’m not taking it.”

“Gosh why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“Runs in my blood, my mom onc- Hey!”

“What! You wouldn’t let me give it to you. Your fault. Don’t take it off. I said-”

“No one tells me what to do. Leave me be, I’m sure there are prettier girls’s shoulders you can drape your jacket atop. Take it.”

“I won’t.”

“We’ll both freeze to death like this idiot.”

“So be it.”

“My arm’s getting tired!”

“Wear the jacket then!”

“No!”

“Why are you here so late anyways?”

“You, sir, are running on a very thin line of patience I didn’t even know I had. Stop asking questions!”

“Stop being so mysterious!”

“I will not hesitate to slap you.”

“Can you even reach my face?”

“It is too cold, too wet, and too late for me to deal with you right now.”

“Aw, c’mon, I can’t be that bad. I’m just bored.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t follow my request.”

“You didn’t follow mine either. Put on the jacket.”

“No.”

“C’mon you’re shaking like a blender or something, I’m not good at idioms.”

“First-shivering, second-similies, third-I am not.”

Fourth-Put it on before I do it for you.”

“You don’t make any sense.”

“Well you make even less sense.”

“Not possible- and just what exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Putting it on for you”

“To be clear, I’m not cold, I just don’t want your clammy hands on me.”

“Right.”


“What’s that look on your face for?”

“It’s just funny how big it is on you.”

“Why you little-Ugh!”


***


“...and he just had that smug little smile on his face, and now I just have a dripping wet belonging of his and I have no clue what to do! Oh would you stop laughing at my misery!”

“You done?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’ve been rambling on and on about him for what seems like hours. When are you going to admit it to yourself?”

“Admit what?”

“That you love him! Like him, at least.”

“I already told you, it’s not love. And I don’t like him either. Not anymore.”

“Not anymore? So you did bef-”

“Shut up!”

“What are you going to do?”

“About what?”

“The jacket, are you giving it back?”

“Of course I’m going to give it back, you think I’m just going to steal it? I’ll hand it to him at school tomorrow.”

“I’ll go with you, in case you forget to speak again.”

“What do you mean?”

“Last Monday ring a bell?”

“For your information, I had a very sore throat last Monday and wasn’t speaking to anyone. I was just fine yesterday talking to him, so I think I’ll be fine thank you very much.”

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

***

“Hey, you, wait up! Ugh, my stupid short legs...Hold on!”

“Me?”

“Yes you, it’s an empty hallway!”

“Right, sorry, I would’ve slowed down earlier had it not been for your extreme hatred towards me.”

“Look I don’t ha- You know what, I’m wasting my time. Here, thanks and whatever.”

“You’re very welcome. Keep it.’

“I have enough jackets of my own, I don’t need anyone else’s, especially yours.”

“I’m leaving soon, so keep it in memory of me.”

“Leaving? Why?”

“Aw, you look awfully sad for someone who hates me. That foreign exchange student thing, I’m going.”

“Oh.”

***

“So you gave it back then? How was it? Choke up on your words or no? Fine, fine, I’m sorry, don’t be mad. What is it, you’re silent today.”

“He’s leaving. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. Why does it bother me?”

“I-”

“And don’t say I love him.”

“Well, I suppose you’re just used to seeing him in class. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Do you know when those people leave?”

“Which people?”

“The foreign exchange people, that’s where he said he’s going.”

“Not really. Friday? I don’t know, one of my other friends is going, I’ll ask her.”

“No, that’s okay. I can ask him myself.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“What?”

“You’re not going to make some annoying joke about me tripping up on my words or something?”

“You’ll just yell at me again. Besides, you’re obviously fine. Soulmates don’t stutter around each other.”

“Oh you-”

***

“And so I’ll give you about ten minutes to start on this before the end of class, does that sound good? Good. Keep your voices at a respectable volume please.”

“Hey!”

“Me?”

“I just tapped on your shoulder didn’t I?”

“Well yes but-”

“I swear if you say one more thing about me hating you or something I’m going to kick you. When are you leaving?”

“Gosh, you remembered?”

Obviously I remembered, does it look like I have some form of memory loss? You told me only yesterday!”

“Right, right, but- Anyway, I leave on Saturday in the morning.”

“What’s your airport?And boarding time?”

“Well, that’s awfully nosy.”

“O-Oh, right, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m sure you have your reasons. You always do. It’s the one by Creamy Hills. We have to be there at 8:00am, all the students, but I don’t know the official time for the planes.”

“So how long are you going for?”

“Just about a month and a half or so. Not too long, don’t worry you won’t have to suffer in the agony of missing me for that much.”

“Ha-ha, very funny.”

“Ever the sarcastic one, aren’t we?”

***

“He leaves tomorrow, somewhere around 9 ish I think.”

“Night or morning?”

“Morning.”

“So?”

“So what?”

So, what’re you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re pacing your room, not talking much, and your hair’s in a bun. That almost always means you’re planning something.”


“Hello? You there?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just-I think-I don’t what him to leave.”

“And why is that?”

“I don’t know. Not really. But when he’s here-well not here, but with me, I feel-”

“Better? Happier? Lighter?”

“Yes. I caught feelings for him again, didn’t I?”

“You never threw them back in the first place.”

***


“WAIT!”

“Well, I’ve been waiting for you an awful lot these days, haven’t I? What are you doing here, I have to board my flight soon. And you’re not on it.”

“I...know.”

“Woah.”

“Don’t give me that look!”

“I could say the same about you! I don’t think you’ve even looked in my eyes like that before! Why are you here? Is something wrong? Oh, huh, you’re wearing my jacket, is that what this is about? Look, where we’re going is warm, you didn’t have to drive all the way here to give it to me.”

“It’s not the jacket...it’s….”

“What?? Look, your eyes are seriously staring into my soul right now, and you’re freaking me out.”

“Look I...I’m not good with feelings. Never have been. But you make me feel….well you make me feel good and...I suppose what I’m saying is….I like you. More than I can say. I was-Would you-would you maybe stay?”

“Only if you let me do something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.”

“Which is?”

“Kiss you.”

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17 comments

Amany Sayed
02:12 Jan 14, 2021

Okay, let me tell you, emotion through just dialogue is HARD! I tried to make it so that they were already in love so I didn't have to write them falling IN love. To clarify, there was the main character, the one who is new to feelings, the love interest, leaving to wherever, and the MC's friend, telling her she's in love. A math teacher makes a minor appearance as well. I wanted to completely leave out dialogue tags to stay true to the prompt. I hope it wasn't confusing! Let me know what you think!

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Niveeidha Palani
12:28 Jan 14, 2021

A new story out! Adorable. Yes, I have to agree with you, emotion through dialogue is HARD. It's difficult when you can't express them as you wish, since it's just dialogue, and you've only got question marks and exclamation marks. Agree with R, you conveyed the emotions perfectly though, so no worries on that. There are a couple of places where commas are required, like after "Gosh" and "Well". “No one tells me what to do. Leave me be, I’m sure there are prettier girls’s shoulders you can drape your jacket atop. Take it.” The word "gi...

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Amany Sayed
14:06 Jan 14, 2021

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for correcting those errors, I'll fix them right away.

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Niveeidha Palani
23:16 Jan 14, 2021

No problem, Amany. Glad to help. 🤗

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07:56 Jan 14, 2021

Aw cutteeeeee!!! I just got so interested I had to read it right away. And that main character is way too relateable...on so many levels lol. But anyways! I loved how you wrote the story through dialogue, I don't know how you did it..but like thats amazinggg! I loved how you started it off and how you ended it! Both beautiful! Loved it! Great job!

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Amany Sayed
14:06 Jan 14, 2021

Yay thank you! Yes, totally. I made her very sarcastic in echo of myself ;) It was the prompt! Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it!

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Amany Sayed
22:32 Jan 14, 2021

Also there's another new story out if you're still bored ;) Not a romance but it was supposed to be one before I saw it was too underdeveloped. Happy Thursday!

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01:07 Jan 15, 2021

Wow! Two stories!!! I'll read them later today! Thank you for telling me!

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Amany Sayed
01:45 Jan 15, 2021

Thanks for reading in advance :)

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Orenda ♤
18:14 Jan 15, 2021

emotions? - check contrasting character voices? - check butterflies in my fcking stomach? - CHECK! Orenda? - bald :( honestly, writing characters with only dialogues require well planned out voices and it's so important, and I can see that here. The male character is humorous and the banter is amazing XD. Thoroughly enjoyed it. But remember it's "anyway" and not "anyways". it's an adverb and adverbs can never be plural. Grreat job! 😚

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Amany Sayed
18:58 Jan 15, 2021

Yayyy I tried so hard to give them contrasting voices! That was random! Thank you so much! Oops, thanks for catching that! :D

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Orenda ♤
19:16 Jan 15, 2021

well, it paid off really well ;) haha, random is good. And of course! Hally to help ;-)

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21:05 Jan 14, 2021

Whoaa! This was an amazing story for this prompt! This prompt is definitely a challenge, but you nailed it! I loved the ending! :D

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Amany Sayed
21:43 Jan 14, 2021

Thanks so much! :D

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04:19 Jan 14, 2021

Sooo sweet! *awws like those annoying relatives* Aw, that was soooo cute! Yeah it is gard, tho you pulled it off pretty good!! I was waiting for a new one!!

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Amany Sayed
14:05 Jan 14, 2021

Haha, thank you so much Sia!

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14:19 Jan 14, 2021

Lol, Welcome!

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