88 comments

Jan 03, 2021

Fantasy Sad Thriller


A Wicked Plan


β€œHans, you pesky mongrel, don’t you remember what I told you last night? I need help with my potions and need you to collect an ingredient from the backyard, in my garden.” Olga the witch warned him evilly grinning.Β Β Β 

β€œIβ€”I forgot, ok! How can you expect me to rememberΒ every single thingΒ you tell me to do! Last night itself you told me a million things to do. You just don’t get it, do you, Olga?” Hans asked, scoffing.Β Β 

β€œOh boy. How many times do I have to remind you to call meΒ AuntΒ Olga! How dare you question me? You are a coward, a foolish boy. You haveΒ absolutely noΒ right to fight back at me! Your job is to be my slave, your only job is to listen to me! How dare you ignore me? How can you behave like a stray dog!? After all, I am your aunt! Your mother’s sister! We’re the same blood!” Olga blew up at him,Β Β 

β€œUgh! No. I am not your slave, I’m not your servant! I am now a young man who can think and do things for himself. Ok? You have no right to question me.” Hans argued back, both being stubborn at this point.Β Β 

β€œHa! You say I have no right, do you, runt? Well, if you want to have no food, no water, no home, then you can disrespect me and go! Go and never come back here. Go if you want to live a harsh way." Olga threatened him, and she knew Hans would stay.Β Β 

Besides, he has nowhere to go. No family. No friends. No one in this world other than the witch to accept him for who he is. Sometimes he thought the witch really was right about him. He kind of was a fool, a coward, a runt. No one will ever like him for who he is.Β Β 

β€œWell stop acting like a hero. You’re the one who kidnapped my parents and threatened them to give me as their child! You put all your frustration and anger to my mom and dad! They did nothing to you, yet you show not an iota amount of kindness or respect. You killed them, didn’t you? After you got me, you left thereβ€”our house in flames! How could you even do this? How could you ever expect me to call you my aunt!?” Hans asked her, looking angry.Β Β 

β€œNow boy, I don’t want to talk much about this anymore. Your job is to listen to me, and that’s all.” Olga replied, trying to calm herself down.Β Β 

β€œI don’t want to be evil like you! You expect me to change people’s lives, and make them go to the wrong path, don’t you?” he questioned her, looking ashamed.Β Β 

β€œHa! It’s fun to see these innocent, naΓ―ve, and gullible people falling for our traps. It’s nice to see them fail in life! You just don’t get it.” Olga said, looking disgusted at him.Β Β 

β€œYeah, you’re right. I won’t get it because I’m a good person. I would like my job to help people in need, not watch people suffer.” Hans replied coldly.Β Β 

β€œWhatever child. Anyways, go to the back garden and collectΒ thornberries. This will be perfect for our next candidate.” she chuckled, maniacally.Β Β 

β€œWho?” Hans asked out of curiosity.Β Β 

β€œCome to my cauldron,” she spoke, and as Hans came closer, she made a smoky figure of a young man," I want this man’s life to be ruined. I need you to give me theΒ thornberries, and I will squeeze its juice in my potion. Then, I will give it to you and when you meet the man, you will give him the potion.” she replied.Β Β 

β€œWhβ€”what will theseΒ thornberriesΒ do? After a person drinks its juice of course,” he asked.Β Β 

β€œGlad you asked. These berries' juice is highly toxic, and once drunken, it will mess up his brain. He will make all the wrong decisions in life, and soon, he will fail. He will leave his old life behind as a janitorial staff in the bakery shop and become a terrible person." Olga told him, and she continued to smile mischievously.Β Β 

β€œUmm....so you’re saying this is what I have to do to him? IΒ have toΒ collect these berries, give them to you and you’ll make a potion. Once I finally meet and talk to him, I should...give it to him?” Hans asked for confirmation.Β Β 

β€œYes, my boy. Yes!” she laughed hysterically as Hans almost closed the door behind him.Β Β 

As Hans was about to leave, another question popped up in his brain. β€œSo, are there any side effects of this potion? Meaning, will something happen before the person’s brain is messed up?” Hans asked.Β Β 

β€œWell, for starters, the person will get dizzy, and sleep for about two to three days. Then, once the person wakes up, they will start to yell random things. After a week or so, the potion’s real magic starts to kick in. That is when all the things I told you about will occur.” Olga told Hans, and she went back to stir the potion she was making.Β Β 

Oh, terrible witch, this is it. I will fetch these berries for you, but not for that poor man, but for you Olga. I will help this man have a much better, happier life, while I make sure you will suffer endlessly for all the terrible things you have done to everyone. I will make sure that you die. You killed my parents, I let it go, you have ruled me and made me my slave, I still let it go. But when you are ruining other’s lives, I let it go, until now. I swear to you, witch. I cannot let you do this. I will make sure you drink theΒ thornberryΒ juice before you go to bed. I’ll make sure of it.Β Hans plotted as he continued walking towards the witches’ garden. He was positive that his plan was going to work.Β Β Β 

He just had a very good feeling that it will.Β Β 

You will die, Olga, you will.Β Hans chuckled.Β Β 

***  

As Hans went to the back garden to collect theΒ thornberriesΒ when he saw someone coming out of a bakery.Β Β 

He overheard the store manager yelling, β€œYou’re fired! I don’t want you in my store anymore. Please, go find some other work to do!”  

β€œPlease Mr. Burg, please! I have no work to do! My wife, my four-month twins! We will have no money to live anymore sir!” he heard the man begging the store manager to not fire him.Β Β 

β€œIt isn’t my concern. Now go!" he yelled and threw his bag outside and onto the street.Β Β 

β€œNo sir! No! Pβ€”please! Don’t do this!” he continued pleading to him, and even banging on the store window, but the manager had already closed the door.Β Β 

Hans felt bad for the poor man, and he decided to go to the man and ask him for help. Maybe, just maybe he could use his talent of helping people leave their old lives behind for something new. Hans immediately forgot about the berries he was supposed to collect for Olga and ran towards the man.Β Β 

β€œMister can I—” he was about to ask something until he got severely shocked.Β Β 

No! He...he is that man Olga had shown me earlier. No, no, no! I absolutely cannot collectΒ thornberriesΒ for him! I can’t! I need to make sure Olga’s dark magic won’t affect this poor young man. I need to keep him safe. I need to help him. I need to use my dark and evil talent, my terrible skill for something good for once! I just need to!Β HansΒ soonΒ realized and decided to finish his question.Β Β 

β€œDo you need any help? I saw what happened earlier Mister,” he asked.Β Β 

β€œOh, why thank you, good man. Iβ€”I don’t need any help. I’ll try to find another job, that’s all. Just try to find another way to survive in this world. Thank you for your kind words and your thoughts. I really appreciate you.” he spoke, as he stood up brushing his uniform.Β Β Β 

β€œNo, I can help you. What I saw earlierβ€”it wasn’t such a good sight. Trust me, I will help you get a new, and a much better job sir.” Hans spoke kindly towards that man.Β Β 

β€œReally? Youβ€”you will oh good sir?” the man asked.Β Β 

Hans politely nodded his head and had one aim: to help this man and feed the evil witch someΒ thornberries, for her to die, and her nuisance to be gone forever. Finally, Hans could live a happy life and forget about his past.Β Β 

β€œWow, thank you, kind sir! I know it is rude, and I should have asked you this much earlier, but...what is your name? I had not quite caught it.” the man asked.Β Β 

β€œMy name is Hans. What about your name sir?” Hans too answered and asked the man.Β Β 

β€œMy name is Johan. Nice to meet you, Hans.” Johan shook his hand, tilted his hat towards him, and waved β€˜bye’ as he walked past.Β Β 

***  

The next day...Β Β 

β€œYesterday, I was a bit busy to takeΒ thornberriesΒ and add them into the potion I was working on Hans, so would you give it to me now?” Olga asked.Β Β 

β€œOh, the berries! Well, I forgot about it, sorry! Yesterday I saw a lot of your other ingredients almost fading away, losing its power, so I became too busy tending them and completely forgot about you Aunt Olga!” he lied.Β Β 

β€œHans! Fine, anyway I need to make other ingredients, so before midnight give me theΒ thornberriesΒ and I will add it to the potion. Remember that next morning you will have a lot of work to do! You need to go, meet the man, and give him the drink!” Olga reminded him, and Hans felt very ashamed by her character and her behavior but didn’t utter a word.Β Β Β 

β€œOf course, Aunt Olga!" he shrieked as he went outside to collect the berries.Β Β 

Of course! Of course!Β he snickered as he continued walking towards the back of their crooked cottage.Β Β 

***  

The same day, but night...Β Β 

Hans had collected the berries for his evil plan many hours ago, and without the witch knowing, he entered the kitchen and used the tools to grind the berries and squeeze all its toxic juice, just like Olga had told him for what she was going to do. He knew that today would be the last time he would have to suffer Olga. He had other plans for living, like getting a real job, some real money, and maybe even starting a new family! But without getting too ahead of himself, he prepared theΒ thornberryΒ juice.Β Β 

β€œAunty Olga! Where are you, Aunty Olga? I made something special! A special treat just for you Aunty Olga!” he yelled in a babyish voice.Β Β 

β€œWhat is it now boy? What do you need now? Can’t you see I am working very hard and I am very tired of doing this potion? Whatever it is you need, just come to me and discuss it with me here.” she ordered, and Hans didn’t mind.Β Β Β 

It was her last day after all.Β Β 

β€œSorry Aunt Olga, I’m very sorry. I will definitely give the treat to you right now!” Hans hollered from the kitchen as he served the juice on a small coaster.Β Β 

β€œWhy what is this Hans? Juice, just for me? Oh, my Hans! You have changed drastically!” she said, happy and very shocked.Β Β 

β€œOh, before I didn’t understand! As you said, I really was a fool to not listen to you Aunt Olga! But now I will! I hope you like this special treat I made! I did work very hard on this.” Hans told her, and just like that Olga drank it.Β Β 

No, drank isn’t the word here, she gulped it.Β Β 

After that, she became dizzy and fell to the ground. That is when Hans knew his plan worked.Β Β 

~The End~Β 

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88 comments

Hello everyone! Hope you're having a lovely day! Quick things to share about my story: 1. I haven't done a fantasy story for AGES so here you go! I actually really liked the weird plot of this story, and I hope you did too! 2. Honestly, I know that witches and the month of January don't match whatsoever, but...I just wanted to experiment, so I hope you liked this trial! 3. This prompt was actually really interesting, so I decided to try it out in a different, more of a fantasy route, but still keeping it MOSTLY real. Overall, I hope you...

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Black Raven
01:55 Jan 05, 2021

Awesome story. I feel like maybe there were a bit too many dialogue tags but that just may be my personal style, though. Loved the plot and the protagonist.

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Thank you so much! Also, next time I'll try to reduce the dialogue, thanks for pointing that out! :)

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Black Raven
02:40 Jan 05, 2021

Np. (β— β€Ώβ—•) Can't wait to read the next one.

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Yayyy I got a response! (I’m super bored lol.) what’s up?

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Oh, nothing much. Just trying to get over the fact that I have school. I feel so lazy, because it has literally been two weeks, and I've been staying home all day. Now the break is over, and I'm kind of sad. =(

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Omg SAME!!! My asynch Mondays are always chock-full of stuff to do so I don’t know how I’m going to survive after half a month of nothingness 😭😭😭😭 Lol.

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19:21 Jan 03, 2021

I LOVED THIS DIALOGUE!!!!!!! THIS WAS AN AMAXING TAKE ON THE PROMPT!!!!

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love your take on the prompt. good job :)

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Writer Maniac
13:39 Jan 04, 2021

This was a really fun story to read, I enjoyed it a lot! I love how Hans took revenge for it all in the end, it was very satisfying! Great job! P.S. I would love to know your thoughts on my three latest stories :)

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Writer Maniac
02:07 Jan 05, 2021

I would love some feedback on those stories if you're free :)

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Writer Maniac
16:42 Jan 08, 2021

Hey!

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Writer Maniac
16:43 Jan 08, 2021

Just wanted to drop in for fun 'cause I'm really bored! Why haven't the prompts come yet?!

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Wow Haripriya! Again a marvelous plot you've created! How do u come up with them so fast;) Again I loved this different approach u took, great work!

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.... Wow, this is epic.

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Do you like poetry?

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I love poetry! I also like writing poetry! Why do you ask?

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I want to do some but aren't sure how to get it long enough for a submission.

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Magdalene Lam
09:39 Jan 18, 2021

Sorry to ruin your perfect score, if you don't understand, I added a like and made the fifty five turn to fifty six. Sorry

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Oh my gosh!! Thank you so much Magdalene!! You are supporting me so much!! :)

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Carefree Chicken
16:43 Jan 09, 2021

Okay, first of all, I really, really, love this story, it's great, I couldn't stop reading it! And I read your bio and I also really like drawing and have played violin for three and a half years. Crazy right!? Haha, have a good day, keep writing, drawing, playing violin, and doing the things you love. :)

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Oh wow, thank you so much Carissa! I am so glad that you liked this story! You also played the violin for three and a half years?? Oh my. We must some type of twins or something...lol! Anyways, you also like drawing! Wow! Amazing! :) Thank you so much for your time and your comment Carissa! I also hope you do the things you love and be you! Hope you also have a great day! :)

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Carefree Chicken
01:23 Jan 10, 2021

XDD thankss

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Nora K
18:45 Jan 04, 2021

Hey Laila! It took me a while to get around to this story! I am so sorry! This is so beautifully written and expressed! Your story is told in a thoughtful simplicity, filled with hidden meanings, thoughts, and feelings! Your story’s pace is smooth and constant, making a delightful and exciting read! Your characters and their dialogue are unique, captivating and thrilling! Your plot is creative and fun, and your ending is wonderfully relieving! (Me, while reading: Yes! That scrawny old witch got what she deserved!) Hehe! Marvelous job!! Keep...

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Hello Nora! It is completely fine!! I really don't mind at all! But, I am so glad you liked the story! Also, yes! Olga did deserve it! :)

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Nora K
21:58 Jan 04, 2021

No worries! :)

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This is so good! I like thrillers! :) but its a bit sad, but that can add to it. :)

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Coco Longstaff
23:05 Jan 03, 2021

Hi Laila! I love this story! And the way that the story ended. It was so....magical.🀩 Good work!

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B. W.
08:08 Jan 06, 2021

Hola amiga

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Maya Emerson
01:33 Jan 05, 2021

I might do a story with friends on Reedsy, and I would like to put you in it, so what would you want your character's personalty/ physical description/ special skills/ spirit animal (if I do animals) to be? :)

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Aww, thank you so much Maya! 1. Personality: Bubbly, Sweet, Optimistic, Positive, Perfectionist, Friendly, Extrovert 2. Physical Description: Medium-long hair, dark brown eyes, tall, skinny (ish), tan skin 3. Skills: Playing violin, Problem solving, leadership, Time management, Organizational, People Skill 4. Spirit animal/s: I just took the quiz and it said I'm a hawk...so hawk??? I hope this helped! :)

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Maya Emerson
01:55 Jan 05, 2021

Thanks so much! That definitely helps! :DDD Do you want your name to be Haripriya or Laila?

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Umm...your wish! Whatever you think suits best! (I would prefer Haripriya but the rest is up on you!)

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Maya Emerson
02:12 Jan 05, 2021

Great I'll put Haripriya! Thanks!!!

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15:27 Jan 04, 2021

Hey Laila! I know you hate the downvoters, so here's a petition to remove the downvote button altogether! Would you mind signing this? Heres the link: https://forms.gle/j3V39n9S928uxrbX9

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16:31 Jan 04, 2021

yay thanks!

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17:24 Jan 04, 2021

thanks so much!!!!!! HELP STOP THE DOWNVOTERS YAYYYYY

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Akshaya Sutrave
06:16 Jan 09, 2021

Hi once again, Laila! It was an amazing fantasy story and a pleasure to read! It has been a long time since I read a story from the genre of fantasy. And yes, it was a great idea to try it out!! Keep it up! I'm reading all the stories I missed out on in the past week! :)

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Hello (again) Akshaya! I am actually very happy that you are spending all that time to read everyone's story on here! It really shows that you are a very kind person and really care about other's work and chances to improve!! Anyways, glad you liked the fantasy in the story! (Honestly, I really should do more fantasy, but I barely do them!!) But, thanks for spending the time to read this story Akshaya! :)

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Akshaya Sutrave
15:05 Jan 09, 2021

Of course! And thank you so much!! :D I love reading what different people write!! You do great fantasy!! :)

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Akshaya Sutrave
15:24 Jan 09, 2021

:)

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Maya Emerson
13:59 Jan 05, 2021

Did you know Vayd is back temporarily today!?!?!?

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