16 comments

Dec 18, 2020

Thriller Science Fiction Drama

Eliz


Eliz flips the pages of her chocolate-stained book that was mixed with a quarter of guilt. Youโ€™re going to drop the chocolate, Eliz.

No, Iโ€™m not, she insisted.

Suit yourself, Official Cathie replied.

Ten minutes later, her butterfingers slipped the chocolate on her book. She just needed to drop it on her tongue, but it landed weightlessly on page two, sinking and melting on the word because.

Why didnโ€™t you listen? Official Cathie snapped.

Because.

***

Fiona

โ€œSo, are you excited?โ€ Fionaโ€™s mother asks, checking the rearview mirror.

โ€œI think so.โ€

โ€œWell, you better be! This school is ranked number one in this state! I promise you wonโ€™t regret this.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s the school called again?โ€ Fi plays with her thumb. The car runs over something, and she jumps, along with her backpack which weighed heavy pounds.

โ€œLondon Fields!โ€ She makes a left turn and makes a whooping sound. โ€œIโ€™m very impressed with them. So organized, beautiful, and includes talented students!โ€ She says โ€œincludesโ€ as if it was a special item inside of a toy box on a commercial.

โ€œI think theyโ€™re too organized. Oddly neat uniforms with no wrinkles. A three-hundred page โ€˜manualโ€™ of instructions, guidelines, teachers, uniforms, classes, and a four hundred-page โ€˜manualโ€™ of what to expect from the school. Plus, I heard a student got expelled there for picking up a grape on the floor. Overboard, donโ€™t you think?โ€

Her mother just raises her eyebrows in the mirror, and parks twenty feet away from the school. โ€œWell, whatever happens, I hope you have a great time.โ€

I hope.

***

Eliz

โ€œToday, we have three students who will be joining us today.โ€ High Official Krestner stands, raising her scroll into the air.

โ€œMarinna Jahyn, who is in grade eight. Tarissa Wilmer, grade ten. Lastly,โ€ she raises her eyebrow all of a sudden.

Official Kip, Official Cathie, and Official Palmar rush to the stage with concern. They all whisper and hiss and the students remain quiet with no expression, leaving one new student blank, tilting her head.

High Official Krestner clears her throat, facing the expressionless audience. โ€œIt appears,โ€ she starts a little hoarsely. โ€œWe have an unofficial student.โ€

There, at that moment, came simultaneous gasps from the audience.

***

Fiona

Unofficial student.

ย โ€œMiss Fiona Baker,โ€ says she, โ€œPlease stand and follow Official Cathie. We will have this sorted.โ€ Then she said to the faint and pale audience, โ€œPlease remain calm, students. Stand in alphabetical order and walk carefully to your classrooms, following your Official. Official Cathieโ€™s class, please remain seated.โ€

Fiona trembles, following the strange, noisy silence that fills the air. โ€œWhere are we going?โ€ she asks Official Cathie. โ€œWhy am I unofficial?โ€

Official Cathieโ€™s expression hardens, leaving nothing but a track of silence. Fiona follows then quietly, her knees like glops of jelly.

Official Cathie leads her into a small room of nothing but chairs and an isolated desk. โ€œNow, what do you have to say for yourself?โ€

โ€œPardon?โ€

The Official narrows her eyes. โ€œIn London Fields, the most prestigious school of not just the county, but the state, requires all students to read the manual.โ€

โ€œSeven hundred pages in two days? Thereโ€™s no time!โ€

โ€œIn London Fields, the most prestigious school of not just the county, but the state, requires students who will make time to read a thousand pages a night, including hours of class and five hours of sleep.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re lying.โ€

โ€œOfficials never lie. In fact, we know everything.โ€ She leans farther back and grabs a long needle with two fingers.. โ€œBut, you will not have to worry about any of the stress, and still receive an honor roll with all remarkable As.โ€

Fiona no longer is trembling and is now curious. โ€œHow?โ€

She smiles. โ€œBy taking this needle. It will make you powerful, so strong, and will let you do anything you ever wish to do. You,โ€ she taps Fionaโ€™s nose. โ€œWill be just like everyone else at the school. Fearless and bold. Intelligent and beautiful. Happy and graceful.โ€

Fiona backs away. She thinks for a few minutes and glances every five seconds at the needle that might be pricked inside of her sensitive skin. But was it worth it?

Fiona takes a deep breath. โ€œCan I do it alone?โ€

***

Eliz

โ€œYouโ€™re the unofficial,โ€ Eliz says, with the same blank expression on her face.

โ€œYeah! No, wait. I took the shot. Iโ€™m like you guys now.โ€

Eliz looks at her strangely. โ€œWhat shot, exactly?โ€ She sits down at a table with a lunch tray.

Fiona widens her eyes. โ€œI mean, the shot. The shot, like, I took a shot, as in chance. I took a chance inโ€ฆNot being unofficial?โ€ She clears her throat and tries again. โ€œI mean, Iโ€™m a student. In the most prestigious school not just of the city, but the state.โ€

Elizโ€™s blank stare didnโ€™t move. โ€œAlright.โ€

***

Fiona

Does anyone even have feelings here?

Does anyone even think?

Will they know I didnโ€™t take the shot?

Fiona remembers what Official Cathie told her earlier: โ€œIn fact, we know everything.โ€

In fact, we know everything.

Fiona just groans. โ€œI should have taken the shot,โ€ she mutters. โ€œNow hundreds of people will be coming after me. Theyโ€™ll know.โ€ She looks around her dorm room. This isnโ€™t a normal school. No normal education. I need my mom.

She reaches into her pockets, but then something instantly hit โ€” they took away everyoneโ€™s phones.

Will everyone stay like this forever? They wonโ€™t ever have a great future, get married, or even have feelings for themselves. Theyโ€™re like robots, but really just brainwashed humans. She sighs. What do I do before they come for me?

The door opens suddenly with a loud crash, and the umbrella behind it cracked into two. She didnโ€™t even need to look up to know who it was.

High Official Krestner.

She isnโ€™t angry. She isnโ€™t smiling, either. Fiona studies her face. She was smiling.

That canโ€™t be good.

โ€œFiona Louise Marilyn Baker,โ€ High Official Krestner booms. โ€œWe have checked the system two hours ago, and it appears that your name is not showing on the list. Perhaps you would like to explain why?โ€

Official Cathie, behind her, tilts her head pitifully. โ€œI know youโ€™re afraid of needles, sweetheart. But donโ€™t worry, we arenโ€™t doing needles anymore.โ€ She holds up a tight-locked cup with an orange liquid inside. โ€œYou can drink this and feel no pain, and be happy and beautiful as everyone else.โ€

Fiona stares at them, bewildered. โ€œHappy? You call these students happy?โ€

High Official Krestner looks down in her eyes. โ€œWell, what do you call them, sweetie?โ€

โ€œTheyโ€™re brainwashed. Youโ€™ve abused them. They arenโ€™t happy, because inside their beautiful feelings are locked up inside a deep well and pit of nothing. They need to see whatโ€™s happening, and I am going to be the one to let them know about it. Stop hurting the students here, canโ€™t you see youโ€™re hurting them inside but their emotions are kept away in the broken pieces of the dry, lonely ground? You said you never lie, but every word that comes out of that mouth are lies. All lies.โ€

Official Cathie cries, โ€œNow!โ€

Fiona turns around like lightning, but not as fast enough as something pricks her in the back of her arm. Her eyes turn instant white and glassy, and she falls face-first on the ragged carpet. Her wrist fades colors, shaking as the blood trickled from her arm to the now-red floor.


โ€œGet out.โ€




โ„™๐•’๐•ฃ๐•ฅ ๐Ÿš?


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16 comments

I never wrote science fiction before, so I tried my best.

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Sophie L
08:09 Dec 18, 2020

This was so cool! I really liked the plot and the words you used to describe what was happening. Damn, Fiona was brave. Doing that in the most prestigious school would have been crumbling. Now you will make a Part 2 for us so that I have another excuse to snuggle up on the couch with a good story.

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Aaahh thanks so much! Haha, maybe! Can't see any prompt that would fit here tho, but I'll try my best :P ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Cole Lane
00:57 Mar 21, 2021

'This is the most prestigious story of not just the county, but the state!' :) Man, that is stuck in my head. lol I love the atmosphere, the contrast between Fiona, and the environment she is in. I just found this under the Sci-Fi genre and would love to see part 2!

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The Cold Ice
08:55 Dec 21, 2020

Loved it. Keep writing.

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The Cold Ice
18:10 Dec 21, 2020

Welcome. Hi

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12:10 Dec 20, 2020

I like the plot of your story and the control freak atmosphere. I feel the need for chapter two or even more. I will follow your work.

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Thanks so much :) Chapter 2 might come soon if it follows next week's prompts! I appreciate it ๐Ÿ˜Š

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Valarie Salazar
14:58 May 30, 2021

you did amazingly I am an English teacher and I am also writing a book to write now

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Please do a part 2 for this! You rock!

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That means so much. Thank you, Emmie :) Part 2 might come soon next week!

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Can't wait!

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