83 comments

Dec 02, 2020

Speculative Crime Suspense

The opening and closing clicks of the shutters of the cameras feel like a part of me now.


Lights flash, some white, some blue, some red.


I’m blinded.


Chester is walking behind me, his hand on my back, trying to protect me from the crowd and comfort me at the same time.


My parents and Courtney got left behind, calling everyone they knew to get enough money to get me out.


Microphones are shoved at my face, trying to get a word out of me.


But I’m not going to say anything.


Anything and everything I say will be used against me.


I pointed out to the lawyer that not saying anything could be used against me too, but he gave me a look that clearly said that I had brought this on myself, so it would be best if I just shut up now and let the professionals handle this.


But I didn’t do it.


Why doesn’t anyone believe me?


Oh right.


The boyfriend is always guilty.


Contrary to popular belief, all guys aren’t creepy jerks.


Some guys love their girlfriends.


Some guys are normal.


Some guys are not murderers.


******

I had spent hours in this interrogation room, the walls seeming to close in every time I looked around.


Ms Davis, the police officer stared at me with an unrelenting gaze, her face tired but determined.


“Caleb Lowell, I’m asking you one last time, why did you kill Ophelia Winters?”


“And I’m telling you one last time, I didn’t kill her!”


“Then why were you seen at the crime scene with her blood on your hands?”


“I already told you, I was trying to stop her wound from bleeding any more."


“Because you felt guilty after stabbing her?”


“No, because a normal person would try to save their girlfriend’s life after she’s been stabbed.”


“After you stabbed her?”


“I didn’t kill her! I loved her! Why would I have any reason to take her life?”


“You tell me.”


“But I didn’t do it!”


“So you didn’t know that she was pregnant? With your child?”


I look at her, numb with pain and anger.


“It wasn’t my child.”


******


“So she cheated on him, and the other guy knocked her up? That seems like a pretty solid motive to me.”


“But he is still denying murdering her.”


“I can hear you guys, you know.”


The lady who was interrogating me and her colleague stop talking and look at me until I look away.


Ophelia.


Beautiful, moody, maddening.


She had told me that she loved me.


When had she stopped meaning it?


When had she decided that I wasn’t anything to her?


How could she have possibly thought that I wouldn’t find out?


We hadn’t even slept together.


But I didn’t kill her.


Please believe me.


******


University.


She was a quiet presence, seemingly everywhere but not really anywhere.


Ophelia kind of always melded into the background.


I would never have met her had it not been for a friend of mine.


He suggested going to watch the school play, a reimagination of ‘A Midsummer Night's Dream’.


I didn’t even concentrate on the story. When Ophelia appeared, everything else came to a standstill.


She was marvellous, her expressive eyes and her rhythmic voice making me restless and calming me at the same time. Her dress seemed to float around her like a cloud.


After the show, I congratulated her in person, and soon we started hanging out more.


I don’t even remember when we stopped being friends and started dating, it all just felt so natural and meant to be.


She loved me.


But I loved her more.


******


“Who is the father of Ophelia’s child?”


“Why should I tell you? So that you can convince him to prove me guilty?”


“No, because he might be guilty.”


I looked up, startled.


I can’t tell them.


Telling them would put me off the hook for sure, but it would mean betrayal.


And I hate betrayal.


“I don’t know who the father is. I do know, however, that it wasn’t me.”


“Why are you protecting him? You must hate him for what he did.”


“Trust me, I don’t. If anything, I hate myself.”


“And why is that?”


“I couldn’t stop it from happening.”


******


I had invited her over for a few days to meet my family.


She immediately hit it off with my parents, her demure nature impressing them.


When she did open her mouth to speak, what came out was always witty and clever.


Then she would clam up again for a few more hours while the rest of my family was still reeling with the after-effects of her statement.


Everyone was convinced that I wouldn’t find anyone better than her.


I had agreed at the time.


She became good friends with my sister Courtney, though there was a stark contrast to their personalities.


Chester approved of our relationship, and I saw them laughing to jokes and bonding over shared interests.


I thought nothing of it at the time.


Even when I saw her hang out with him without telling me, I was just happy that they were getting along.


I hadn’t known at the time that the worst was yet to come.


Demure little Ophelia wasn’t as modest as she seemed.


I don’t expect much from a relationship.


All I expect is for my partner to be faithful.


How hard is that?


Just concentrate on your partner for a period of time.


That’s all.


And she managed to break the only expectation I had.


She managed to break me.


I wish that I could have done that day differently.


Instead of going back to my house, I should have gone to hers and waited.


If I had done that, I wouldn’t have been greeted by the sight of her and Chester going at it in the living room.


I wouldn’t have gone completely ballistic.


I wouldn’t have cut off both of them when they tried to explain.


I wouldn’t have called her a slut and said that Chester wasn’t my brother anymore.


I wouldn’t have ignored their calls.


I wouldn’t have been helpless when she lay there dying a few days later.


******


I had gone over to Ophelia’s place to tell her that I was willing to work on our relationship if she stopped seeing my brother.


I wasn’t ready to see her lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood.


I wasn’t ready to see the gaping wound in her stomach, staining her clothes.


I tried to stop her bleeding, but it wasn’t working.


She opened her eyes and smiled at me.


I called the police and an ambulance.


******


“You’re still not going to tell me who it is?”


“No, I told you that I don’t know who it is.”


“I think you do know. I don’t know why you aren’t telling me though. It would easily take the heat off you.”


At this moment, another police officer entered the interrogation room and whispered something into Ms Davis’ ear.


“Bring him in. I’ll be right there.”


“What happened?”


“It seems that we have a person willing to confess something about Ms Winters’ death.”


“Who?”


She looks at me, trying to discern my sudden attentiveness.


“A Chester. Why, do you know him?”


Chester?


What could he possibly have to confess?


He had told me that he wasn’t her killer.


“Caleb? Do you know Chester?”


I knew there was no point in lying now, he had gone and screwed it up anyway.


“Yes, Chester, he – he is my brother.”


******


I sit there in the room, unable to stay still.


Chester came to confess.


Was he lying when he said that he didn’t kill Ophelia?


Should I have believed him when he said that he loved her?


Ms Davis enters the room, looking slightly triumphant.


“Chester has confessed to being the father of Ophelia’s child.”


I stare back, unblinking, without an expression on my face.


“I think that we have arrived at our prime suspect.”


“Chester? Just because he made her pregnant, it doesn’t mean that he killed her. How can you be so sure?”


“Because he told us that he did.”


******


The police should have looked closer.


They should have scoured everything, inside and outside the house.


If they’d done their job well, they would have found the only proof they needed to free any suspicion off the Lowell brothers.


A note.


Lying in the bushes of the backyard, having flown away from Ophelia’s desk.


Explaining why Ophelia had decided to take her own life.


Maybe if they had found the seemingly insignificant paper, they would have gotten the real truth out of Chester.


That Ophelia threatened to stab herself, and that Chester had merely pulled at her knife only to see one second later, that the knife was already plunged into her stomach.


That Chester had panicked and ran, believing that he had murdered her.


When in the end, it wasn’t his fault.


It was no one’s fault, really.


Just an unfortunate series of events.


******

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

83 comments

Wow, you were right for calling me here to read this story! It is such an intense mystery story with a lot of suspense! I LOVE it! :)

Reply

Writer Maniac
14:49 Dec 06, 2020

Thank you! I really loved writing it! Also, could you please fill the form in my bio, if it's not too much trouble?

Reply

Sorry, but it says it's an invalid link. Can you send the link again?

Reply

Writer Maniac
18:05 Dec 06, 2020

Okay, here you go: https://forms.gle/HUMa1UG3LhuAvjHAA

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Aditi Mahanti
14:42 Dec 05, 2020

Amazingly surprising story with Crime and Suspense! Liked that! :)

Reply

Writer Maniac
14:48 Dec 05, 2020

Thank you so much for reading it and leaving a comment, glad you liked it :)

Reply

Writer Maniac
15:00 Dec 05, 2020

I would love to know your thoughts on my other stories too, especially 'My One', 'Finally' and 'Who Loves Lives'

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Nainika Gupta
22:50 Dec 02, 2020

Wow!!! This story was so unique, and your writing really kept me invested in the story :) Awesome job!

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:55 Dec 03, 2020

Aww, thank you! I really appreciate that, means a lot to me!

Reply

Nainika Gupta
13:21 Dec 03, 2020

Yep!!!

Reply

Writer Maniac
08:18 Dec 04, 2020

Also, could you please fill the form in my bio, if it's not too much trouble?

Reply

Nainika Gupta
12:59 Dec 04, 2020

Yeah!!

Reply

Writer Maniac
13:19 Dec 04, 2020

Thanks a lot!

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

This story is great! It all ties together perfectly at the end, between Chester and Caleb and Ophelia. I think it was the perfect length, and the part where its written line from line is exceptional too!

Reply

Writer Maniac
15:03 Dec 02, 2020

Thank you, really appreciate it, it's quite different from the stories I usually write, so I'm glad you liked it:) Also, could you specify which part you mean when you say line from line?

Reply

I mean, like how you would write one sentence And then go to the next. It gives it a really nice dramatic air!

Reply

Writer Maniac
15:13 Dec 02, 2020

Oh, I got it now. Thank you, I love writing it that way!

Reply

Writer Maniac
08:18 Dec 04, 2020

Also, could you please fill the form in my bio, if it's not too much trouble?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ray Dyer
21:13 Dec 10, 2020

The title definitely caught my attention, and the story didn't let me go. You've got a great way of writing this character's perspective, and the way he sees things. The way he saw Ophelia was poetic, "...her expressive eyes and her rhythmic voice making me restless and calming me at the same time." That takes me back to when everything was new and better than anything else. I love it! Also, loved the end of that section, where he says that she loved him, but he loved her more. Great job - thank you for sharing it!

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:44 Dec 11, 2020

Thank you so much for such a comprehensive comment, I really appreciate it! Thank you for reading my story!

Reply

Writer Maniac
12:07 Dec 11, 2020

Also, could you please fill the form in my bio? It would be of huge help to me

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
04:31 Dec 09, 2020

I loved it. It was thrilling and emotional. I've too posted my story and I want people to be frank with their comments so that I can improve my skills. Please help me...

Reply

Writer Maniac
04:36 Dec 09, 2020

Thank you for reading it, I'll be sure to check out your stories when I get the time :)

Reply

05:31 Dec 09, 2020

Oh...Thank You :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Beverly Riddle
21:49 Dec 08, 2020

This story is amazing. I totally didn't think it was Ophelia.

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:03 Dec 09, 2020

I tried to make it as much of a shock as possible. Thank you for reading it:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
20:34 Dec 02, 2020

Writer Maniac, Wowwwwwwwwww- I'm obsessed with how you made this story tie all together in the end, and then you just switched it to Ophelia's suicide. It was really all sad and just really nice how you reveal different parts of the story out with each sentence. It was really nice. I like how everything just flowed and came together like I said before! I like how you revealed Calebs thoughts as well as the dialogue. Great jobbb!! And keep writing!! Question! - Would you rather everyone call you Writer Maniac, or you have something ...

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:58 Dec 03, 2020

Aww, thank you! I really appreciate your sweet comment, made my day! I'm glad you liked the story! My handle is Writer Maniac because I prefer staying anonymous, but you can call me whatever you think suits me, any name really. Totally up to you, or you could just call me Writer or Maniac or a short form of either of the two. It's my pleasure to follow you :)

Reply

03:12 Dec 03, 2020

Of course!! And I don't know if your a girl or boy, I'm sorta leaning towards girl though, (you don't have to tell me I respect your decision to remain anonymous) but anyways how about Mania! I kinda like that! But is that okay with you??

Reply

Writer Maniac
03:53 Dec 03, 2020

I am a girl, yes, I'm totally fine with revealing that! Mania is great, I love it! I'm putting it on my bio if you don't mind so that others will find it easier too!

Reply

03:55 Dec 03, 2020

Yay!! I'm glad you like it! Sure go ahead!

Reply

Writer Maniac
08:18 Dec 04, 2020

Also, could you please fill the form in my bio, if it's not too much trouble?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Eva Bhalla
19:32 Feb 26, 2021

Wow this was turn after turn-It was a spiral or whirlpool of drama-but in a good way. I honestly don't know what to say. This was great-in it's own weird way.

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:17 Feb 27, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! Next, I would recommend 'My One' and 'Finally', which are two of my very first stories :)

Reply

Eva Bhalla
03:09 Feb 27, 2021

I have lots time tomorrow so sure! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Wow. This gave me chills. Caleb's positive innocence and Chester's unfortunate confession. This had a plot twist I want expecting. I loved it!

Reply

Writer Maniac
03:00 Feb 19, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I absolutely loved writing this one, so I'm glad you liked it!

Reply

I so did. And you're welcome.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Rebecca Cole
17:35 Feb 13, 2021

WOW. This is one of the most suspenseful stories I have read on this platform, you are going places!

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:06 Feb 14, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Renee Avery
10:26 Feb 13, 2021

This story really had my attention! I liked the character of Caleb and he felt real to me. That twist at the end though - I didn't see it coming! I have a few comments: You call the police officer "Ms Davis" when it should be "Officer Davis" (or something else if they have a particular rank). In the first section with the police officer, it is very dialogue-heavy - adding some action or thoughts can really help bring a scene to life. Also some speech tags (he said/she said) sprinkled in every now and then could clarify who is speaking, as wi...

Reply

Writer Maniac
12:37 Feb 13, 2021

Thanks for the feedback. I'll keep the officer thing in mind. Also from 'so she cheated on him', the speaker is really not that important so it doesn't matter that much. I'll keep in mind your suggestions about dialogue and action, thanks again!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Janey Finch
14:21 Feb 09, 2021

Wow! I did not expect that ending! There were so many twists and it was really well done, I also love how the last sentence is the name of your story and it was really powerful! I love how you weave in the note which flew away to give us the actual answer instead of having a cliffhanger, it was a true short story!

Reply

Writer Maniac
15:06 Feb 09, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I was quite proud of myself with this one :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Palak Shah
15:14 Feb 08, 2021

You were right for telling me to read this; it is exceptional. Well done :)) I loved every bit of it and it all ties perfectly together.

Reply

Writer Maniac
15:16 Feb 08, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! If you want to read any more of my stories, I would recommend 'A Good Day' and 'Paper and Ink', you can check out my bio for more :)

Reply

Palak Shah
15:23 Feb 08, 2021

Yes I will definitely check them out. Thanks for the recommendation

Reply

Writer Maniac
15:25 Feb 08, 2021

Thanks :) I'm in class right now, I'll be sure to check out your stories when I get the time :)

Reply

Palak Shah
17:33 Feb 08, 2021

Thanks :))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
17:12 Jan 07, 2021

I love the title, so creative!!! I think this is my fav story of yours so far!!! but i absolutly love this line, and I dont know why, but maybe its because im an insane person. Some guys love their girlfriends. Some guys are normal. Some guys are not murderers. ****** Am i weird for thinking this is a sentance that i will remember for like ever? wow this was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Reply

Writer Maniac
17:14 Jan 07, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! No, you're not insane for loving that line, I love it too!!!! I'm glad you liked it, I would suggest reading 'Finally' because that's one of my favs!

Reply

17:37 Jan 07, 2021

heck yeah ima read it!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Cassandra Durnin
17:25 Dec 18, 2020

You thrill me with these, you do. Well done! I really like this one, both the desperation and the confusion you laced within.

Reply

Writer Maniac
17:37 Dec 18, 2020

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Iris Greyfeather
12:19 Dec 17, 2020

He thought he killed her when she really killed herself. That's so sad.

Reply

Writer Maniac
12:21 Dec 17, 2020

Thank for reading it!

Reply

Writer Maniac
12:21 Dec 17, 2020

Also, could you fill the form in my bio?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ari Reynes
15:54 Dec 02, 2020

This is awesome! I love the end! Great job!

Reply

Writer Maniac
16:04 Dec 02, 2020

Thank you so much, appreciate it!

Reply

Ari Reynes
16:10 Dec 02, 2020

No problem.

Reply

Writer Maniac
08:18 Dec 04, 2020

Also, could you please fill the form in my bio, if it's not too much trouble?

Reply

Ari Reynes
16:25 Dec 04, 2020

I'll try.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Elena Whitford
21:47 May 14, 2021

Wow, I really liked this story! It's so suspenseful , and the plot twist was great. I really believed it was the brother all the way until the last section! Great job! -Elena

Reply

Writer Maniac
02:39 May 15, 2021

Thank you so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply