25 comments

Nov 27, 2020

Horror Urban Fantasy Drama

“Speak to me of the Theta Bloodline”, asked a shadow that stood in the room.


           The man was prone and high on sodium pentothal. He began telling them what they wanted to hear. With a breath, he began…



           “It was all a mistake.


           Granted with the darkness at the door of the human species, they should not have crossed that line. The Ancient first Marshal of the Midnight order wanted to do what they could to try and stop the darkness and create a caste of hunters with powers that they could control. He made a mistake and even she told him that.


          Marshal Lycos had captured her in Africa and she was taken north to Italy to hide her. She wasn’t human, she was a lioness shifter. She had long tawny blond hair and turquoise eyes. She was a small woman of only five feet and five inches compared to other females of her kind. Her name was Theta.



           She was theirs for over many a year and kept in chains when they had their fun with her. They were hunters of the current generation. They would rape her every so often for the idea of doing so because what was proposed, no one seemed to think was a bad idea at the time.


           As they took her first children from her, she cried from her cage as she yelled at Marshal Lycos. THEY WILL OBEY YOU, THEY MIGHT OBEY YOU FOR MULTIPLE GENERATIONS, BUT SOONER OR LATER THEY WILL BE SOUGHT BY MY PEOPLE AND WHEN THEY ARE YOU BRING A NIGHTMARE UPON YOUR KIND! 


           He stepped forward to the cage and kicked her. “You are a slave, Theta. Shut your hole and do what you are told.”


           She lay crying.


           For the span of Theta’s life, she gave birth to a total of thirty children before the process eventually killed her on the birth of the last child. Of those recorded and tested, fifteen of the children were what the Marshals hoped for.


           The children grew into adolescents and developed various powers that made them far more effective as hunters than previous generations. They hunted shifters with proneness, vampires fell before them. Even demons were barely a match for them.


           These children were forbidden to breed before the age of thirty and then it was selective. The strongest of the fifteen were established in a blood line pattern referred to as the Alpha Theta. Then the Beta Theta and those that had a problem with any authority were called the Omega Theta.”



           The man in the shadows folded his arms, “So you confess to the reason as to why the Midnight Order was able to hunt all of us to a point that we are struggling to survive?”


           “Yes.”


           “These children of my dear multiple great aunt Theta, can they be assimilated into the shifter world?”


          The man was hurting as the compound was being ran through his body in high doses, “In theory, yes. Because they are many generations removed from the Lions, they possess the genetic archetype to be breeders for any shifter race. This archetype has only surfaced in the female parts of the line.”


           The man breathed in, “That is good to know because of your extermination of our women over the years is why we have issues with survival now. One female for a hundred shifter males and only one in those one hundred may actually be capable of impregnating her…since us shifters life mate.


           “Do you know these surviving blood line females?”


           “Yes.”


           “Family names, tell me.”


           The man mulled it over in his brain as he searched… “Horizon, Nicholas, Yule, Santiago, Lancet, and Reignfire are the blood lines. Horizon, Nicholas, and Lancet have three girls each. Yule and Santiago have two girls each. Reignfire this generation has produced one female off spring.” The man coughed with some issues of the drug in his system.


           “Your access to their data base, what is it?”


           “Bruce Maxwell, username: Shadow_of_Fire. Password: Fallen Angel”


           Then the man died. The drug had proven too much. Lights came up and two men that were built like weight lifters grabbed up the dead man.


           The one that seemed in charge growled as he looked at the dead man, “Access the mainframe for the Midnight Order. Use his name and password. I want names, faces and as much data as we can take from them. This was their mistake and though these females will no doubt resist what we want, we are bringing our ladies home to their people.” Theta was his multiple great aunt and he was going to right the mistake that the Marshals made by taking her for breeding by gathering her wayward children, bringing them home, and making them his weapon against the Order.


           “What about this piece of trash hunter”, asked one of the two men.


           “I don’t want his body found for a very long time if any. Take him out and feed him to that alligator we keep around back.”

           The two men dragged him out.




           The man that dictated everything fought for his position among ALL the shifters and now they turned to him for leadership. This man was as nature dictated, he was the King of the Shifters and it influenced the last name he chose for himself as he weaved his way into human society to stay concealed until he was ready to bring down the Order who had been killing ALL his people.


           Lucian King walked out the door and over to a plantation that he had retro fitted with how he wanted it. One of his men had run ahead to get things ready for him. As he walked into the house and down a hall, he found himself in a center with a massive screen in front of him that weaved through massive amounts of data. The man at the control center was excited.


           “My King we have them by the gonads now.”


           “Tell me that we are making real progress here?”


          “Indeed sir. It is apparent that this guy knew what he did about the Theta because he was a handler for one. I got files printing out on all fourteen women in question.”


           “Punch it up for me to see, who is he handling and is she in the area?”


           “You are going to love this.” He hit a few buttons and a basic profile came up before him on the screen with a picture of a breath taking young woman.



Selena Soleus Reignfire

Age: 19

Height: 5’3”

Weight: 110 lbs.

Hair: Brown with blonde and red highlights

Eyes: Blue-green

Rank: Theta Omega…issues with authority and has a tendency to follow her own rules. Runt

Current location: New Orleans, Louisiana on assignment with handler Bruce Maxwell.



           Lucian King felt goose bumps on his skin as he gazed at her picture. “Oh sweet little angel of mine, you are long overdue to come home.


           “Did you alert the other Alpha leaders?”


           “They are on their way to your building in Baton Rouge as we speak.”


           “Good, get me those files and send out Lance, Shard, and Liger. I want her found and watched for now…do so subtly.”


           “I will relay the command.”


           Lucian turned and walked out...

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25 comments

Wow, honestly I can tell you spent a LOT of time working on this story. Honestly, this story felt so advanced compared to your other stories. I loved it so much, you did such a great job!

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19:04 Nov 29, 2020

It is in the early developmental stages and I wrote a rough draft for chapter one, and then said...wait, how did he know all of this and since I claimed that he had someone as a prisoner..why not the interrogation.

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Oh, writing a rough makes sense for this one. Also, you're thinking is correct.

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Paula Martinek
21:14 Dec 05, 2020

Hi Amy I think it's an interesting story and I'd read more. Just a couple of awkward sentences...if I'm being redundant I'm sorry. "The man was hurting as the compound was being ran through his body in high doses," It's passive and I think the word should be run. "Because of your extermination of our women over the years..." How about "you exterminated our women and now we fight to survive?" I'd go for a more active voice. But I found it intriguing and would read more.

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02:15 Dec 06, 2020

Up until this Prologue, Lucian has been working in the shadows and the Shifters had been weaving their way into human society to use the humans. If anything at this point of the story, the Shifters had been trying to avoid the hunters while they worked on their own plans to finally strike back. What the prologue type story shows is plans in the works to retaliate and fight back.

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Ashley Fortier
21:07 Dec 05, 2020

Interesting concept and good hook. There were a few grammatical errors and some word repetition but otherwise nice story! Good luck. I wrote for the same prompt, you can view my story here: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/70/submissions/45294/

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02:17 Dec 06, 2020

Keep in mind, you would repeat some stuff in an interrogation where you have someone severely drugged up to make sure you keep their attention.

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Lourenço Amorim
12:48 Dec 04, 2020

It is a marvelous story that could be the first chapter of an excellent YA. Excellent worldbuilding and plot. Sometimes I feel odd the words you used, but besides that, it is spotless work. It is always fascinating to follow your work.

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14:41 Dec 04, 2020

Actually it is more of a prologue, so it is meant to draw you in and touch on things like setting but I sought more for the subtlety side. If I went right into the story, you would have known where you were from the start. It lets you know that something is coming without saying too much and basically brings you to another main character without introducing her quite yet.

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Philip Clayberg
23:29 Dec 03, 2020

Really good story. Thank you for writing it. Just the usual error-spotting (hope you don't mind): grew to adolescents: You could say either "grew into adolescents" or "grew into teenagers" or "reached adolescence". feed him to that Alligator: Is there a reason for the "A", or should it read "alligator" instead? “What about this piece of trash hunter”, asked one of the two men? [A question mark should come after "hunter", and the question mark after "men" should be a period. Also, the comma isn't needed.] You usually say "...

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03:00 Dec 04, 2020

Changed your first complaint. Originally the A was capitalized in Alligator for emphasis. I never did say exactly where the story was taking place until the end, Where do you find Alligators normally, it was a clue to the environment...but hey whatever. Actually the man is talking so that comma does go there. Shifters as a whole is a pronoun. That sentence in question you need to look at the full content. He is KING of the SHIFTERS...Race as a whole and his title to his people. Saying shifter in passing could be any species...

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Philip Clayberg
20:52 Dec 04, 2020

Thank you for your clarifications. It helps me when I read stories (including my own). That way I'm more certain that something *is* correct as is, or it needs to be fixed. I'm sorry for my misunderstandings of your intentions in your story. It's not always easy seeing through other eyes and understanding what they're doing. Ah. Okay. I didn't understand that when I read your story. I was trying to figure out why you were typing it as if it were a proper noun (the name of the alligator is Alligator?). Okay. It's your story. I ...

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21:37 Dec 04, 2020

Like I said, this is more prologue then anything else. If I went right to the story, you would have an idea where the story is located. As the writer I do know the surroundings, but my audience doesn't until I give clues. I submitted a story for this week's as I wasn't sure what else to do for cookies. So I hit on two others that will come up in the story later on that are also connected to the Order. Granted I am not sure how they will be yet, but why not a small side story. "Sweet Tooth" If you are interested.

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Philip Clayberg
00:06 Dec 05, 2020

Sometimes going right to the story isn't a bad thing. It worked for Emily Bronte and "Wuthering Heights" after all. And it also worked for her sister Charlotte and "Jane Eyre". I'm not sure what to do with this week's new set of prompts. The one about the rival bakeries sounds (to me, anyway) too much like the Hallmark movie, "The Pumpkin Wars". "Sweet Tooth" sounds interesting. Just holler once you've submitted it and I'll read it. Just promise me I won't get any cavities after reading it. (grin) I used to have a really bad on...

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01:16 Dec 05, 2020

It is up, but like I said, it was just a feel for two others I intend to introduce

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Amelia Bowen
04:03 Dec 03, 2020

Love this story!!! It had me hooked from the start!

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05:03 Dec 03, 2020

Glad you like it. It is an idea in the works that I am running with.

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Aaina Aleszezyk
04:46 Dec 02, 2020

Fiction has always amazed me. I literally had goosebumps after reading your story.

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05:13 Dec 02, 2020

It is a bit of a prologue and I am Glad you approve.

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17:57 Nov 29, 2020

I am so sorry for your dad's death. Tots good story, channeling your creativeiey into an amazing and all little bit scary story. GOOD JOB WHY DOES IT JUST HAVE 11 LIKES IT SHOULD HAVE 99 LIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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19:08 Nov 29, 2020

Thank you, I figured the Prompt worked for the prologue of the story in question. I left some shadows to enter into the first chapter. If the prompts allow, it could end up here in pieces. Oh and a little scary has always seemed to be a motif with me.

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23:23 Nov 29, 2020

OOoOooOOOOOO I can't write scary so AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

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00:16 Nov 30, 2020

You just need a hook to run with really. I seem to like the one where you don't a hundred percent know who falls where in the beginning.

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02:03 Nov 30, 2020

THANK YOU FOR THE TIPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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