19 comments

Oct 30, 2020

Holiday Funny Fiction

Wendy witch was going to be late again, and she knew it. It was a long trip from the Broomslick hair salon to Wisteria witch’s favorite gathering place on Halloween night in front of those human houses she enjoyed gawking at. No matter how fast Wendy’s car would drive, there was no way she would make it on time for the annual witching hunt. In Wendy’s opinion, she and her comrades were far too young to enlist this year. After all, they were only 600 years of age, and Whitley witch would only come for the snacks, leaving Wisteria to mull around the human houses which was never a good thing. Fastening her limp gray hair into a bun, Wendy witch sighed heavily. Perhaps if she had taken her broom, Wendy would’ve made it on time. 


Upon her arrival, Wendy witch saw Whitley witch and Wisteria witch standing by a tree, scowling at any child who laid eyes on them for too long. 


“Wendy! You’re late again! Seriously, next year we might have to go digital!” Wisteria snarled, poking a grimy finger into Wendy’s chest. At the word “digital”, Whitley gasped in horror, dropping her slice of cake to the ground. She immediately grabbed Wendy and Wisteria to start the night’s events, solemnly casting second glances at her fallen slice of cake.  


Wendy witch attempted to look her best when all the other witches and wizards passed by, hoping this year’s list would be easier than the last. Wisteria witch had already gotten the envelope from the front table and was pulling it out to read the hasty scribbles of writing inscribed on the page. 


“One frog’s leg, ten bewitched snails, a preserved eye...stolen wand.” Wendy almost groaned out loud. This list was no better than last year’s. How could they possibly find a preserved eye in Crane County? 


“Why are we even doing this again?” Whitley mumbled, crumbs littering her face in a frustrated manner. Her pointy hat fell to one side in an awkward position, but Wendy witch couldn’t help but agree with Whitley. Wisteria crossed her arms and sniffed proudly, beaming at the large trophy sitting at the desk and then back at the sheet noticing one last item on the list. 


“Oh, but that’s not all. We need a human child!” Wendy had never been that surprised in all 600 years of her short-lived life. Whitley dropped her second slice of cake and grunted as Wisteria set off into the shadows, Wendy trailing behind. This was, by far, the worst Halloween night ever. 


Whitley scoured the ground for snails as Wendy pretended to search for the preserved eye. They had been straying away from the rest of the crowd and inching closer to the town, but Wendy was the only one who seemed to notice. Soon enough, they were the only ones in the middle of Alcove street. Wisteria witch was about to turn around when a short figure blocked her way from coming back. Whitley tapped Wendy’s shoulder as they eyed the figure, a human girl all alone on Halloween night. 


Wisteria had collected a frog’s leg and Whitley had managed to find a snail crawling out of the gutter, but this child was definitely the key to their win. Wendy, Whitley, and Wisteria smiled and came closer to the young girl.


“I want to boil you in our splendid witch’s brew!” Whitley exclaimed as Wendy rolled her eyes. Wendy witch was just about done with the annual witching hunt, even if it did allow you to observe the ways of humans. The girl screamed to nobody in particular; Alcove street was as haunted as Wisteria’s flower garden of ramshackle bony bits. 


“Wait wait wait! I’m no good for eating...I’m just skin and bones!” Whitley witch frowned, a confused look on her face. 


“I thought all humans were skin and bones?” Whitley asked it like a question as the girl crossed her arms and huffed, trying to keep her shivering under control. Wisteria began to reach into her back pocket for her wand as Wendy snatched a piece of the human candy, taking short nibbles. Wisteria kept searching her many pockets. The girl, now surrounded by their group, turned to ask Whitley another question. 


“So um...tell me more about this witch’s brew.” Wendy came to sit across from the girl and Whitley as they discussed the annual witching hunt and all the ingredients. Wendy saw the girl’s eyes darting from side-to-side like she was hatching a plot to escape. Wendy immediately got up to tell Wisteria witch, but she was still checking her pockets, a bit more frantically now. Whitley stopped talking, and for that split second the girl winked and tore down Alcove Street as fast as she could, which was surprisingly fast for a little girl. Wendy witch started running after her, Wisteria and Whitley in close pursuit as Wisteria still managed to check her pockets. 


The girl never broke a sweat until she neared a tall brownstone that had seen better days. Wendy dusted off her robes and climbed in through the window.


“My wand! It’s gone!” Wisteria groaned in anguish. The last time Wendy had lost her wand, it had taken days for her to find it again. Suddenly, the roof started to sway and the ground fell out under them.


“Whitley! I told you not to eat that much cake!” Wisteria moaned as they crashed onto the basement floor. 


The girl stood over the three witches, a huge bubbling cauldron on her side, clapping with glee. She held Wisteria’s wand in one hand and was reciting incantations over the pot. 


“What was it you said about the witch’s brew? One frog’s leg, ten bewitched snails, a preserved eye...stolen wand-and a human?” The girl tossed in a small rag doll into the cauldron, shrugging her shoulders. Then, her hair began to curl back into a bun, an array of measles poking out of her pale skin, and a pointy top hat almost covered her grinning face. 


“Haha! I beat you again Wisteria witch! Again I will carry home the trophy I tell you!” It was Winnie witch, the rudest witch of all time, and Wisteria’s worst nightmare coming to life. Wendy stood up, grabbing hold of a confused Whitley, ready to run outside until a bubbling sound occurred from the cauldron. Winnie witch’s maniacal laughter was silenced by the bubbling pot as the goop exploded right into her measly face. Then, it shot a glob of the stuff into Whitley’s jaw dropped mouth. 


“Let’s go!” Wendy shouted, praying that they’d make it on time before the cauldron exploded. She was done with this year’s witching hunt. 


Dripping slimy green goop from their robes and fuming silently, Wisteria, Wendy, and Whitley witch made their way back to their cars parked next to a haunted mansion undisturbed.  


“Cafe tomorrow?” Wendy asked the group as they were searching for their car keys. 


“Sure,” Wisteria remarked, still angry at Winnie for stealing her wand. Whitley gazed into the full moon dreamily. 


“We should totally go to that new place!” 


“What’s it called?” Wendy asked, curious.


“The Witch’s Brew!”


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19 comments

Hello there Owly!! Great story! :)

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Amaya Macaulay
02:42 Nov 04, 2020

you play the viola? I play the violin <3 that's so cool

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12:07 Nov 04, 2020

Yeah, I play viola :) Thanks...I used to play the violin too but then I switched.

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Amaya Macaulay
17:53 Nov 04, 2020

<3

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Philip Clayberg
01:22 Nov 23, 2020

I can almost imagine that there's a beer made by witches: Witches' Brew. And then imagine drunken witches on Halloween night, diving at and screaming at trick-or-treaters and scaring them. Very nice story. Thank you for writing it. Just one possible typo: the ground fell out under them I think you might've meant: the ground fell out from under them

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20:41 Nov 06, 2020

OMG I didn't even recognize youuu, Owly. I'm sorry for the unfollow, I didn't know who this was! Thats my bad!

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21:29 Nov 06, 2020

haha lol that's fine. Johanna is my real name :P

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23:27 Nov 06, 2020

I love your name! Its so beautiful! And your page is sooo I don't even know how to describe it but its calming in a way.. just the so nice just all the soft colors make it- I DON'T KNOW how to describe it, ITS JUST BEAUTIFUL!

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14:37 Nov 06, 2020

Hii! Great story, wow! I like that this is about Halloween, even though it has already passed. It is very well written and I like the characters, they were very fun. I definitely got hocus pocus vibes from this story, lol, great job!

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14:42 Nov 06, 2020

Thanks so much!

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00:23 Nov 07, 2020

Of course! P.S. Just got a new story out! After soooo long. If you would like to check it out I would really appreciate it.

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Yolanda Wu
09:56 Nov 06, 2020

This was a delightful story! I loved the competition between the witches, as well as their dialogue back and forth. I was thoroughly entertained. Amazing work, Owly!

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13:48 Nov 06, 2020

Thanks!

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14:42 Nov 04, 2020

Ahh this was so funny! I was getting a lot of Hocus Pocus vibes from it which I loved. Great job describing each of the witch's characters as well!

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17:27 Nov 05, 2020

Thanks!

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Andrew Krey
00:43 Oct 31, 2020

Hi, I liked your story and thought the characters were fun. As the competition is still live, I've provided some suggestions below. I found adding 'witch' after their name a bit repetitive, I think it might work better if you used it for the first couple of times, then only when you wanted to emphasis a point. I also think below is a typo, 'he' should be 'she': "There was no way he would make it on time for the annual witching hunt" I how the feedback was helpful. Happy writing

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14:05 Oct 31, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback! I went back and corrected some things :D

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Andrew Krey
14:28 Oct 31, 2020

You're welcome

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The cold Ice
10:31 Nov 06, 2020

Wow wonderful story.I loved it.Keep writing.Well writing.

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