Ghostly fun times

Submitted for Contest #65 in response to: Write about someone’s first Halloween as a ghost.... view prompt

293 comments

Oct 25, 2020

Sad Teens & Young Adult

Oh, why? why did any of this ever have to happen? I could have just been at home still and watching a movie with my friends or something. We always did like watching hocus pocus on Halloween...


We could have been out trick-or-treating as well...either of those options was good. I remember how last year I had dressed up as Katara and one of them had dressed up as Aang...


Do any of them even miss me? I know that I had only died a week ago or so...but they shouldn't even miss me that much. I don't think that I was ever there with them that much... I was always at home most of the time.


Today was Halloween. I wonder if they were gonna go out and have some fun or bother to mourn me or something...I'm nothing that needs to be sad about. I could probably be forgotten soon...I don't think anyone knows me that much.


Ya know, maybe I could go out and take a look at this year's Halloween...I don't really have anything else to do. Besides being dead I guess...but that's pretty boring most of the time.


I mostly stay at home before I died...I don't really like staying at the graveyard. My older sister never seemed to mourn me, which I guess was fine...though I was at the funeral, she didn't even seem upset there.


People that I had never met in my life were there though and they seemed sad...they probably never even met me. Why were those people sad? If some random relatives that I had never met before could be like that...why wasn't my sister?


When the funeral had finished, it had been a couple of hours later when I went back to the house...she had burned most of my stuff there. She had taken all of her stuff and was living In my room now...she seemed happy.


I had only been dead for a week and when I checked up on her a few hours ago it looked like she had forgotten about me entirely...it looks like I was right about a few things. Everyone was going to forget me soon...


It was actually really close to when everyone was going to start trick or treating...not my friends though. I knew that they always left when it was starting to get dark...they didn't like doing it when the sun was still out.


Though that was still just my friends...I could probably just float around and watch the other kids and teenagers do their trick-or-treating. There were still some other people who liked doing it during the day...I don't know why though.


I floated out of my room...or at least what used to be my room and headed outside. My sister was nineteen and had the house to herself...at least that's what she thought. I knew that she wasn't going out tonight though...


"Oh, why of course I'm free! Why don't you come over tonight and we can have a girls night or something? no one would be here to bother us."


I could hear her loud obnoxious voice say over her phone to one of her friends...was I annoying her or something? It feels like she just doesn't care...did she never like me? What if I was a terrible sister...


Once I left I made a last-second decision and decided to go see one of my friends...I just wanted to go and see them again. There was a certain friend that I needed to see the most...she had found me...


I soon arrived at the two-story house, I had thought that there was going to be Halloween decorations but...there was Christmas stuff instead. I loved my friend and all but...seriously??


Why did some people put Christmas things up when it was close to Halloween or WAS Halloween? I remember that my neighbors did this as well...My sister hated them for it. She really hates a lot of people though...


Since I was dead I didn't need to use the door...I went through the wall and into her room. It looked like she had changed it up since the last time I was there...the most noticeable change was bubble-wrap on the floor.


I looked around the room trying to find her...though I never found her. The room was small and she didn't seem to be in her little bathroom or the closet either...did she leave?


"Aurora! Come on, I'm here now let's go have some fun."


That sounded like it was coming from down-stairs and it sounded like another friend of mine...that was probably where Aurora was going. I of course decided to follow the voice and found my two friends at the front door.


Neither of them seemed to be dressed up for Halloween though, they were just in regular clothes...wait, was Aurora wearing Pajamas? Nice...I probably would have done the same...


I followed close behind as my two friends leave the house and just go for a walk...why aren't they trick-or-treating? They've always loved going and doing that...do they think they are too old for that or something?


Come on, I'd say you would be too old for trick-or-treating when you're like fifty years old...that would just be plain weird. Or maybe once you're in your twenties is when you should stop doing it...


"Come on, she's in a better place now! You know it was just an accident as well...I'm not sure if we could have done anything.."


I could hear him tell Aurora who seemed to be down...was she actually sad that I was gone? I feel like they shouldn't even be mentioning me though...don't they want to forget me? That should be easy...


"Maybe you're right...she wouldn't want us to be sad, right?"


I don't understand how they even remember or care about me...I didn't even think these two or anyone else would come to my funeral. I thought they'd be happy or not care...I thought they'd be like my sister.


"H-hey!"


I attempted to get my friend's attention...maybe they'd be able to hear me...maybe we could talk about a few things. It would kind of be strange but maybe they'd like having a ghost friend...it would almost be the same as before.


It didn't seem to even work though...they couldn't see or hear me. Great...now what am I gonna do? Follow them and hope they'll eventually see me or something..?


No, I got a better idea! First...I'm going to deal with my dear sister and then I'll try and figure out how to get my two friends to see me...no matter what.


I got off of my seat on the bench which I had been floating through and began to head back to the house...I just had to hope that they wouldn't forget about me or anything.



*if any of you are wondering why most of the story is in italics, it's because it's kind of like an internal dialogue type thing*






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293 comments

Gip Roberts
21:38 Nov 08, 2020

I think the italics were very fitting. It made me feel like I was actually inside the mind of this ghost as they wandered about trying to make sense of everyone's reactions to their death.

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B. W.
21:39 Nov 08, 2020

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ how do ya think the ghost died?

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Gip Roberts
21:53 Nov 08, 2020

Hmm, well the story says this person loved staying at home and they "could have been out trick-or-treating" or watching movies at their friend's house, but they were doing none of the above. Maybe they got mugged while they were out alone somewhere?

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B. W.
21:57 Nov 08, 2020

Nope, any other guesses?

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Gip Roberts
22:06 Nov 08, 2020

The sister did it, perhaps. A lot of the story is about her seeming animosity toward the character who died, so maybe the sister murdered them some way?

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B. W.
22:21 Nov 08, 2020

Hmm, maybe your right about that one

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Radhika Diksha
18:06 Oct 31, 2020

Was going through your fun bio. You seem an interesting person. So how did you celebrate Halloween.? Even I love the yellow dot, it shows the love we receive for our stories. So wanna talk sometime?

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B. W.
18:12 Oct 31, 2020

Yeah sure, i don't see why not ^^ well, I've been spending my Halloween so far by just eating some candy and watching Ghost adventures and other shows like that, how about you?

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Radhika Diksha
18:15 Oct 31, 2020

Kind of [tried to dress up] as my fav singer. And ate samosas, well I am on a diet. But the kind of had a cheat day.

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B. W.
18:17 Oct 31, 2020

Hm, nice ^^ so what do ya maybe wanna talk about now, besides Halloween?

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Radhika Diksha
18:18 Oct 31, 2020

You are from which country??

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Radhika Diksha
08:53 Nov 01, 2020

I'm from India by the way.

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Radhika Diksha
11:03 Nov 01, 2020

I read in your bio, that you are working on some novels. Can you briefly explain the plot of them? Even I'm working on a book.

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B. W.
17:12 Nov 01, 2020

The description/plot of them i guess is ALSO in my bio

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Radhika Diksha
18:18 Oct 31, 2020

Am I boring you?

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B. W.
18:27 Oct 31, 2020

Huh? why are ya asking that? i don't think your boring ^^

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Dalyane Deblois
01:42 Oct 29, 2020

Great story B! Her sister's reaction is so sad!

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B. W.
01:46 Oct 29, 2020

thanks, i'm glad ya liked it ^^ do ya have any guesses on how the ghost character died?

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Dalyane Deblois
01:55 Oct 29, 2020

Well it was an accident, so maybe car accident? But I don't really know!:)

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B. W.
02:11 Oct 29, 2020

nope, any other guesses?

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Dalyane Deblois
01:53 Oct 30, 2020

Hmm, not really, apart from anything linked to transportation?

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Wolfy 🐺
20:27 Oct 25, 2020

I loved it- seeing what a ghost experiences on halloween while we sit around and gorge ourselves on candy:) The only thing I did notice was that there isn't really much of a plot- maybe that's how it's supposed to be, or maybe it's just me, idk. It was really fun to read, though!

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B. W.
20:30 Oct 25, 2020

That's how it's supposed to be and it's just kind of like a calm one, nothing really adventurous going on or anything, its just a calm and I guess a bit of a sad one. Did you maybe have a favorite part or something?

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Wolfy 🐺
21:11 Oct 25, 2020

I liked the parts where she questioned her past life, like when she was observing her sister, and questioned if the lack of mourning was due to her being a bad sister, and how the sister didn't seem to remember her at all, even though she was really there. It made me wonder if there really are ghosts living among us today!👻

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B. W.
21:15 Oct 25, 2020

Hm, alright ^^ do you think you could check out some of my other stories as well and leave more feedback?

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Wolfy 🐺
13:09 Oct 26, 2020

Ok

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B. W.
16:44 Oct 26, 2020

alright

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Princemark Okibe
10:31 Oct 25, 2020

Wow, you churn out stories with such ease, I am nearly envious of you. I am gonna make more time to write more.

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B. W.
16:02 Oct 25, 2020

I always get a lot of ideas for things and it never takes me that long to ever put them out ^^ did you ever maybe have a favorite part or something?

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Princemark Okibe
22:29 Oct 25, 2020

Well edited and the ghost has a unique voice. What kept me reading was the fact that the ghost's sister was so not bothered by her death. I was wondering why is the sister behaving like that but you didn't seem to resolve that. I know you were going for a cliffhanger but that is the conflict of the whole story. You should have concentrated more on that.

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B. W.
22:31 Oct 25, 2020

There MIGHT be a part 2 which would talk about the sister and all that, but I feel like this should just be a stand-alone thing, not all of my stuff will be a series or something.

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Princemark Okibe
22:38 Oct 25, 2020

Yeah. I just felt you should have milked your greatest conflict for all it got.

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B. W.
22:40 Oct 25, 2020

well, whats some stuff ya want to happen in the next part? it can be for the sister or some other stuff

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Ashlyn Anderson
19:08 Nov 16, 2020

The younger sister had untreated depression. I came to this conclusion by the way the character thinks about how no one will remember her or miss her.

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B. W.
19:15 Nov 16, 2020

Hm- maybe

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Malz Castell
18:46 Nov 13, 2020

This was so beautifully sad. The emotions of the character were brought out so well. I do want to know more about how the MC died and what happens after this. I hope you write a sequel to this. Great job!

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B. W.
19:18 Nov 13, 2020

No, sadly there won't be a sequel or anything like that, I already have a few series going on and I just want to have a few of my stories like this without anything following it up. That way it would be mysterious and all that. You could guess how she died if ya want though?

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Ben Franklin
04:24 Nov 03, 2020

Ah, yes. The overzealous Christmas decorator 🤦‍♂️. I am familiar. Great story!

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B. W.
04:32 Nov 03, 2020

thanks im glad you liked it ^^

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Kylie Rudolf
19:11 Nov 01, 2020

This was excellent! The beginning was great!

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B. W.
19:16 Nov 01, 2020

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^

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Lynn Penny
16:11 Nov 01, 2020

I liked your use of italics, I always love when Italics are used. This was a nice story, kinda sad but a good sad. Great job.

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B. W.
17:24 Nov 01, 2020

thanks ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part?

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A U D R E Y S
08:24 Oct 27, 2020

Ooo, I love the way you wrote this. When I saw the theme, I thought it would be a story about someone dressed up as a ghost. I’m not sure if anyone else thought that, but you’re story is great.

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B. W.
16:56 Oct 27, 2020

I don't really like doing regular ones, so there's a prompt about something with kids and playing with a dragon, that would probably just mean that they're playing make believe or something, id make a story where they're actually playing with a real dragon.

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A U D R E Y S
06:38 Oct 28, 2020

That’s so smart - and makes for an interesting story too!

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B. W.
06:54 Oct 28, 2020

thanks ^^

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Orenda .
06:31 Oct 27, 2020

henlo, this was really cool. I guess, I have nothing much to say. The plot is good. Maybe a sequel would making things clearer as to how the character died.

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B. W.
06:38 Oct 27, 2020

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ what did ya think about the ghost?

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Orenda .
06:42 Oct 27, 2020

okie, I did feel sorry fod the ghost😔

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B. W.
06:47 Oct 27, 2020

how do ya think she died? any ideas?

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Orenda .
06:50 Oct 27, 2020

I think of violence only lmaoo, so I guess, somebody killed her. It was declared an accident or a suicide at first, but after further investigation, it was something really twisted. The murder was really dark and sad.

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B. W.
06:50 Oct 27, 2020

Hmm, any other ideas?

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05:53 Oct 27, 2020

New!

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B. W.
05:55 Oct 27, 2020

okay, so do ya possibly remember the names for the characters in the guardian?

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06:29 Oct 27, 2020

Azalea!

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B. W.
06:38 Oct 27, 2020

At first i just need help with remembering the names :/ I don't think I have the thing in my bio but maybe you still remember? I think azalea might be for the guardian character

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07:01 Oct 27, 2020

Lol, yeah she was the guardian friend. Cool tip is give each of the characters of personality, and describe them with three adjectives. And if you draw good then try making a sketch of them and how they look.

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B. W.
07:02 Oct 27, 2020

I can't really draw, i couldnt do it to save my life :/

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06:29 Oct 27, 2020

What do you need help in? I'm good with twists. Or atleast, I think so.

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Sebastian Ehlke
03:01 Oct 27, 2020

Nice story! Very sad no one is mourning her though :(

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B. W.
03:03 Oct 27, 2020

Thanks, i'm glad ya liked it ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part?

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Sebastian Ehlke
03:32 Oct 27, 2020

Probably the part of the main character's funeral being attended by loads of people who looked sad, but her sister didn't. That part stuck out to me as something that's a little bit real. Like I don't want my funeral to be attended by a bunch of strangers pretending they knew me. If my family/friends aren't sad that's upsetting.

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B. W.
03:42 Oct 27, 2020

actually, even if it didn't seem clear or anything, her friends WERE sorta upset that she died.

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Sebastian Ehlke
04:07 Oct 27, 2020

Yeah, it seemed like her friends were a little sad but tried to be happy because that's what she would have wanted. I thought her sister wasn't (at least at the funeral). Idk maybe I didn't read it well enough

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B. W.
04:17 Oct 27, 2020

Her sister completely doesnt care and is sorta happy about her death

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Emmanuel Olaleye
19:34 Oct 26, 2020

Wow! This is a wonderful story. You did a great job Blair.

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B. W.
19:35 Oct 26, 2020

thanks, i'm glad you liked it ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or something?

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Emmanuel Olaleye
15:17 Oct 31, 2020

I didn't really have a favourite part. But rather the entirety of the story and how it immersed me into that ghostly feel. And not just because you expressed vividly the thoughts of a ghost, but you kind of gave a subtle message that reminds me that one day, I'd be a ghost too.

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16:39 Oct 26, 2020

This had a buncha feelings in it! I could feel the loneliness and sadness of the ghost, and I felt really bad for her. Like I said before I find it interesting how you don't add a backstory, I think thats nice! Great job!!

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B. W.
16:55 Oct 26, 2020

Yeah, i wanted to keep a lot of the stuff a secret and not just go and explain everything, I didn't wanna go like (this is just an example) "I don't know why she had to go and kill me...i thought that I was a good sister...no wonder she didn't seem sad during the funeral or anything.." did you maybe have a favorite part?

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17:25 Oct 26, 2020

Ohhhh so the sister killed her, that makes sense. But it didn't exactly click in my brain while reading. I enjoyed it all, everything was my favorite!

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B. W.
17:30 Oct 26, 2020

No! i said that was just an example, her sister NEVER killed her.

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18:06 Oct 26, 2020

OHHH my badddd!!😅

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B. W.
18:09 Oct 26, 2020

do ya maybe have any ideas on how she actually died though? nothing with her sister though

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Jade Young
14:36 Oct 26, 2020

This was very well written B :) I loved the internal dialogue, and how you expressed that. It captures the observatory nature of a passive ghost well. This is a nice, lighthearted read ;) Keep up the good writing!

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B. W.
16:50 Oct 26, 2020

Thanks, i'm glad you liked it ^^ did ya have a favorite part?

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Daniel Deschenes
13:20 Oct 26, 2020

I actually kind of enjoyed the italics! I was thrown off at first but I figured it out. A nice touch!

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B. W.
16:46 Oct 26, 2020

thanks ^^

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13:04 Oct 26, 2020

I loved this story! I really like the concept of internal dialogue! Great job Blair!

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B. W.
16:43 Oct 26, 2020

thanks ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part?

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17:24 Oct 25, 2020

Good work on this. ;) This is my favorite of your stories so far. As far as I can see, Charles and others have handled all the issues except one. I didn't see if anybody caught this, but on the final line, you should cut, "or anything". Lines that are unsure should be treated very carefully. You generally don't want to include unsure words or phrases. Examples include; I guess, maybe (when used in certain senses), or anything, etc. "I guess" in particular is a main offender. I did want to give you a personal challenge... On your nex...

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B. W.
17:55 Oct 25, 2020

Thanks, i'm glad you liked the story ^^ I'll go and change the "Or anything" along with some of the other stuff as well. did you maybe have a favorite part with this story or something? what did ya think about me not saying the names of the characters besides kinda one of them? well if I make another story like that, I dunno what the bad could be :/

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18:14 Oct 25, 2020

I didn't have a particular favorite part. Not saying the names of the characters is fine. If you need the names to distinguish between characters, then yes it is better to put the names early on, but I think you handled it well enough. So, for something bad, it just has to be something bad. The main character's mother dies, and she sinks into suicidal depression. The main character is dropped through a portal into a strange and dangerous world in which she must fight to survive. The main character has a leg chopped off in a freak carrot-s...

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B. W.
18:16 Oct 25, 2020

actually, the "main character is dropped through a portal into a strange and dangerous world in which she must fight to survive" is kind of something I'm already doing with a novel, I could maybe tell you about it if ya want? I had also made a story a while ago about it, kinda like the first chapter or something and I'm a bit far into the novel at the moment ^^

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18:25 Oct 25, 2020

Ok, cool. :) Yeah, I'd like to hear about it.

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B. W.
18:27 Oct 25, 2020

Harlow is a 17-year old who one day gets taken to another dimension/universe and has no idea how to get back, now she must deal with trying to find her way back, remaining hidden so she doesn't get captured, and an alternate version of herself that's evil and a criminal who wants to get rid of her. Though with the help of a new friend that she meets there, willow, will she be able to get back?

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