19 comments

Oct 16, 2020

Drama Fiction

We come from the country Jazeldi. Our country rose to power by violence and it was the strongest of them all. Or at least we thought.


~~~~~~~~~~


"Bye, we'll miss you," our neighbors called to me.


My family was moving. We were tired of the violence, but sometimes violence was necessary. That's what made us the strongest. Still, we were nervous to move. We didn't know if people would approve of us, since we had Jazeldian blood. 


It would take two days to get to our new house. We were traveling by plane, hoping it would get us there the fastest. We were eager to leave as soon as possible.


During the plane ride, I asked my mom a few questions. 


“Why do people hate Jazeldians so much?”


I knew the simple answer. It was because we were violent, or at least had violence in our blood. Jazeldians started many wars and took many lives. Our country was violent, but I felt like there was a better answer. That was the answer we learned in school but sometimes, school isn’t always exactly right.


“They hate us because we are violent,” my mom told me.


“Yeah, I know that Mom. What I really want is a better answer. Why do they really hate us?”


“Because they’re scared of us. They fear us. Everyone knows we have the power to wipe them out and that we can do it whenever we want,” she said aggressively.


I wondered what was up with my mom. Almost everyone had pride in their country, but our country was founded on murder, I don’t know how anyone can be proud of us. I needed to ask another question.


“But why us? There are many countries in the world that are powerful.”


“We have the power to take on the whole world. We have bombs big enough to destroy an entire continent. That’s why we moved.”


“What do you mean?”


“Your dad, I know we haven’t talked about him much since his death. With him being a military officer, it was his job to transport the nuclear bombs. Since he died, it’s our job now. We have to transport them and soon, we will set them off.”


This was a lot for me to take in. I didn’t know if I could do it. I didn’t think I could move to France knowing that we would destroy it soon. I didn’t really have a choice in the matter though.


“Why are we blowing France up?” I asked.


“Actually, we’re going to destroy all of Europe. We need to do this as a symbol of our power. To take everyone else, we need to show them our strength.”


“What do you mean ‘take everyone else’ Mom?” I asked.


“I mean, we’re going to rule the world. The world is too peaceful. We have the right idea. People say violence doesn’t solve problems, it only creates them, but there are no problems that violence can’t solve,” she told me.


I was shocked. My mom had never talked like this before. She was very passionate about our country sometimes, but she had never acted like a murderer. I knew immediately that our Jazeldian blood had kicked in. I definitely didn’t support this, but as I said earlier, I had no choice. Jazeldi was not worth killing all those people for.


I didn’t want to tell my mom this. I was afraid of what she would do to me. She was usually a good mom, but after seeing this side of her, I didn’t know what she was capable of doing.


I spent the day reading my book on the plane. They gave us trays of food and we ate. Airplane food didn’t taste that good, but at least it was something. When night fell, I fell asleep in my seat while my mom stayed up. She had insomnia, which made it very hard for her to get to sleep.


I slept well that night and when we woke up in the morning, they served us each a frittata, which is just a fancy name for an omelet. The rest of the day was boring. I continued to read throughout the day. We went to sleep that night and in the morning, we were there. We were in France.


The plane stopped at the next airport. We grabbed all our luggage and got off. We then hailed a cab to take us to our new house. When we arrived, I was stunned. This was my first time seeing the house and it was beautiful.


It was painted white and had a window in almost every room. The front door was brown and the roof was slanted at an odd angle. We used to live in an apartment. I had been living there my whole life and this was going to be my first time living in a house. First, we had to do the worst part, unpacking.


We spent the day unpacking our bags and boxes. I also picked a room and began to decorate it.


That night I slept poorly. I was so nervous because my mom insisted that I start school the next day. What kind of kid starts school the day after they moved? We weren’t even fully unpacked yet! Eventually, I fell asleep. My alarm clock woke me up early the next morning. I dressed, brushed my teeth, and grabbed a Pop-Tart for breakfast. Then I packed my book bag with school supplies.


“Bye Mom, I’m going to school. The bus is here.”


When my mom didn’t answer, I left. I went to the bus and when the door opened, I boarded it.


Everyone stared at me when I got on.


“Isn’t she the new girl?”


“I wonder where she’s from.”


I heard their whispers and ignored them. I sat down in an empty seat and hoped no one would sit beside me. I wasn’t ready for their questions just yet. On our last stop, a small boy boarded the bus. He had brown hair and matching brown eyes. He was very short and skinny. He sat down right beside me.


“Hi, I’m Liam. What’s your name? Where are you from? Why’d you move? You wanna hang out sometime?”


I sighed. Liam sure was a talkative person.


“I’m Julia and I'm from, ummmmmm, Germany,” I said, not wanting to tell him where I was really from. “We moved here because we just wanted a bigger house.”


“That’s strange, you don’t have a German accent. Whose class are you in?” he asked me.


“I’m in Ms. Horne’s class,” I said.


“Cool, me too,” he said.


We drove to the school. When we got there, I saw that, like everything else in this town, it was beautiful. We entered the school. I spent the day introducing myself to everyone.


Whenever they asked where I was from, I told them I was from Germany. When I got home, my mom was waiting for me.


“Hi, Julia. How was your first day of school?”


“It was decent,” I said. "How was yours?"


"It was horrible. I got bombarded with neighbors asking where I was from. I told them I was from Scotland and they brought us a whole lot of sweets."


“The shipment is here,” she said, completely changing the topic.


I knew exactly what shipment she was talking about. The bombs were here.


“Come with me,” she said. 


I went with her outside where I saw a huge truck. Inside was a giant crate that had a hazardous sign on it. The man driving the truck started talking to us.


“Here’s the stuff. Be careful, it could blow any second. We tried to make it as safe as possible, but it’s still a big hazard.”


He and my mom started to lift the crate from both sides. I heard a huge boom and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. I saw the driver and my mom lying in the street.


There was debris everywhere and it was hard to breathe. The bomb had blown.







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19 comments

Lillian Brooks
06:55 Nov 29, 2020

Hi, Julia. This was an interesting story. I like your take on the prompt and will look for new stories from you. There are a few grammatical errors here and there in your story. Also, I think the bomb was supposed to blow up bigger? Because it's a nuclear bomb? Maybe you should rewrite how the bomb blows up because you wrote it as a bomb big enough to blow the whole continent. But otherwise, I liked how intriguing this story was. Keep up the good work! -Whirl

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Julia Boddie
21:37 Nov 29, 2020

Thanks a lot for your feedback!

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Lillian Brooks
22:17 Nov 29, 2020

:D Happy to help.

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Anna Elizabeth
04:05 Oct 26, 2020

This is a great take on the prompt. One thing to think about when you do reveals. We learn almost immediately what their secret is so a lot of tension that the reader would normally feel is immediately released. The part where they actually need to keep the secret from people is really short, so again, tension is lost when it could really benefit the story. The pacing was well done, and I felt like the story was definitely going places.

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Julia Boddie
11:06 Oct 26, 2020

Thanks a lot for the feedback!

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15:40 Oct 25, 2020

Hi Julia! Wow - this is certainly an interesting and unique concept that could keep readers engaged for a long time. The idea of a bereft mother who has lost all sense of self after the death of a husband at the detriment to her child is a great conflict within itself, but then to layer in the cultural piece too is neat. My only feedback is that if the bomb that went off was nuclear, everything within a certain radius would have been completely destroyed by not only the blast, but thermal and ionized radiation. There’s zero percent chanc...

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Julia Boddie
22:23 Oct 25, 2020

Thank you and of course, I'll read your stories!

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Sarah Chimombo
20:29 Oct 24, 2020

I loved the story, though I would love it to go on much further, I had hope for Julia to fall for Liam which could have caused her to influence a change in her mother later on. Nevertheless, this is good work.

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Julia Boddie
22:19 Oct 25, 2020

Thanks, I'll probably make a part 2.

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Waverley Stark
07:26 Oct 18, 2020

This would work great for a book! Jazeldian was quite the fun word, and the idea of people wanting to rule the world through violence and having the story be told BY those people was very clever! The bomb at the end was a great ending and also like my worst nightmare; my dad was military and I used to be afraid he’d get blown up when he went to war. You connected to me personally, which i applaud you for. You did a great job with this and i liked how your characters family acted almost victimized, even though they were technically the bad...

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Julia Boddie
16:02 Oct 18, 2020

Thank you!

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20:22 Oct 17, 2020

I like the idea.. it's unique!! There are some parts where detail could be added, like when the bomb had blown. Other than that great job! Part 2 please!!

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Pamela Berglund
18:31 Oct 17, 2020

Oh. I wish you had written more. Remember you need to keep the reader on the edge of their seat. I would like to follow your stories

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Julia Boddie
16:00 Oct 18, 2020

Thank you! I may edit it and add more parts.

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Julia Boddie
21:29 Mar 08, 2021

Hello, sorry I haven't been on this site in a while. I just published my second book. It's a book of short stories and it has most of the stories I've written on this site. Of course, I read the terms of service so I will not get sued. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08XJJVR8Z Please, spread the word about the book if you can and please write reviews. Thank you so much!

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Julia Boddie
19:29 Nov 12, 2020

Hi everyone. I am proud to say that I got my very first book published. I would be very grateful if any of you bought a copy and/or followed me on Facebook at: Fantasy Dreams with Author Julia Boddie. I hate pressuring people and understand if you don't want to buy one. However, if you do, here is the link and you can just copy and paste it into your Google Search bar. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08N3X672H Thanks!

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20:33 Oct 28, 2020

For a side note... Try looking up the nuclear detonations at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. ;) Then rewrite your bomb scene accordingly. :P

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Julia Boddie
22:38 Oct 28, 2020

I will do that, thanks!

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Julia Boddie
23:59 Oct 16, 2020

Can anyone who reads this and has time (and wants to) give me feedback? Thanks!

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