Oct 16, 2020

Sad Inspirational Speculative

Dedicated to my magical parakeet, Meg, who passed October 12th. I hope you're happy soaring around in paradise, Meg.


I'm flying.

Mama, I'm flying again, so free! I feel so independent! The cage is gone!

Mama?

Where are you, Mama?

Weren't you holding me in your warm hand just now?

Weren't you looking at me and smiling?

Why was there sadness in your eyes, even though you were smiling? Mama, what happened? Why did saltiness roll down your face and fall into my mouth? 

It didn't taste good, Mama. Please don't feed that to me again.

Why was your face twisted in agony?

Why did you disappear?

It's getting cold here, Mama. It's cold, like the time you forgot to bring me close to the heater in the winter night. I remember you held me afterward, Mama. You apologized to me so many times, even though I kept telling you it was fine, and I was fine!

It's okay, Mama, I am fine. I'll keep flying. I'll keep going, and I'll never forget you, okay, Mama? Don't worry about me.

I feel bad, Mama.

I pecked and scratched you so many times. Blood seeped out of your cuts, but you didn't get mad. You smiled and told me not to.

I won't do it anymore, as long as I get to see you again, Mama.

Where am I? The sky is so white, so empty. It doesn't at all look like the sky I stared at through the window of our house. That sky was bright blue, the same color as my feathers. That sky had thick, puffy clouds and sent warmth through the window to me. This sky is cold, not too cold, but it's colder than usual. I miss you, Mama. I miss our house and my cage, and my seeds and my toys and my friend.

I miss your giggles as I smacked against the window, excited to fly around. I miss your warm, soft voice, murmuring beautiful words as you worked. I never knew what those words meant, Mama, but they sounded magical because they came from you.

I even miss when your voice got faster, weaving in and out with your sister's voice until you turned your backs to each other, and Grandma and Grandpa had to sort it out.

I even miss your worried squeals and shouts when I went behind the couch or bookshelves. I miss you scolding me gently for pecking my friends. I miss you reading to me, pronouncing words for me, in high hopes I'd mimic you. 

I never could, though, and my words always came out as chirps, and yours didn't.

Mama, I miss your warmth.

Everything about you was warm; your words, sweet like the fruits you put in my cage, your laughs, bouncy like the small rubber balls you brought home from the doctor's, your hands, smooth like my perch, your breaths, light like my feathers, your coffee eyes, hypnotic like the mirror hanging beside me.

I hope you still have your warmth, Mama. 

I'll remember it as I travel to my destination. I don't know how, but I know that where I'm going won't be warm. I know it'll be cold and barren and boring and too quiet to be called a real place. I'll keep your warm words and warm laughs and warm hands and warm breaths in mind, Mama.

Mama, I remember I wasn't a good bird.

I hurt you and yelled at you, and I always tricked you by escaping the old black cage after finding a large gap in the wires. I remember you came home, and I was exploring, and I heard you call me, so I answered.

You called me so many times that day, Mama, and I answered every single time. Then you found me, walking around under the bed, and breathed a warm sigh of relief, and picked me up, and put me in my cage.

You brought home a newer, larger, white-and-blue cage a week later. I couldn't find a way to escape from that cage.

It was probably for the best, Mama, wasn't it?

That's right. Mama, you always wanted the best for me. You brought friends so that I wouldn't be lonely. You let me out regularly because you wanted me to have freedom. You always gazed at me with your twinkling, warm coffee eyes, and then Grandma would come in and tell you to focus on your work again. 

Your voice was constantly there. You were always in my room, and if not, I heard your voice from the next, and if you were downstairs, I heard your voice echoing through the vents of our house, and if you were in the backyard, I heard your voice from the window, and if you went somewhere, I heard your voice in my head.

I miss your voice a lot, Mama.

There's no one to talk to me here, to bathe me in their warm voice, to look at me and call my name. 

I guess, for now, I'll keep listening to your voice in my head. I'll keep listening to you calling my name, whispering secrets to me, repeating your name to me so I could say it myself, you jokingly teaching me how to get food for myself. 

Mama, I miss our house. I miss flying around indoors with my friends, and I miss hiding from you, and I miss perching atop the bookshelf or a picture frame. I miss the smell of curry and rice and samosas flitting through the air along with me when Grandma and Grandpa cooked. I miss the scent of the air freshener. I miss the citrus scent of my seeds. I miss the smell of my friends, Mama. When will I see my friends?

Mama, is my friend all alone now? Will I be alone when I reach my destination? There aren't any friends around me, Mama.

Mama, it was so strange when you were looking at the bird wrapped in a tissue and calling it by my name. I chirped for you so many times, Mama! Mama! Mama! But you kept looking at the bird and shouting, Meg! Meg! Meg!

Mama, I'm Meg! Why didn't you look at me? I was right behind you, why didn't you look? I was chirping and chirping!

Now I'm alone, and I'm going to a cold place without you, Mama.

Mama, where are you?


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1405 comments

Lovely story! :)

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Laiba M
22:32 Nov 19, 2020

Thank you, Haripriya~! Lovely name :)

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Aww...thanks! Laiba is also such a pretty name, as beautiful as your stories! =)

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Laiba M
02:02 Nov 20, 2020

Thank you~~ You're so sweet!

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Raquel Rodriguez
01:06 Nov 24, 2020

Alright, here maybe?

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Laiba M
01:17 Nov 24, 2020

Sure! What's your favorite pizza, what sauce do you dip your fries in, which fruit is most commonly bought in your house, what's your favorite dessert, pineapple on pizza or not, and are you a picky eater?~~ :D

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Raquel Rodriguez
01:20 Nov 24, 2020

okay, favorite pizza... I'm gonna say plain. Best thing ever, especially with cheesy crust omg yes :D Uh... apples and bananas. It's a close one, but I'm gonna say apples because we always have some My favorite dessert is definitely red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting or homemade chocolate chip cookies. Ooh, I've actually never tried it, but I love pineapple and I love pizza, so I'll probably like it lol I'm such a picky eater, lol. It's horrible, but I have been trying new stuff. Idk, I have delicate taste buds, and whenever I...

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Laiba M
01:29 Nov 24, 2020

Wow, we have similar tastes! Apple and banana are also the most common for me, although I don't love either :) But I love cheese pizza, red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, pineapple pizza, and am a picky eater!~~ Do you have any random questions you want to ask?

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Raquel Rodriguez
01:40 Nov 24, 2020

I used to hate bananas, but now I love them. Apples are my obsession, I remember before quarantine happened, during lunch everyone would give me the apple slices they had, they were so good, lmao Sure! Okay, how about (I'm gonna start off with one) do you have any pets? I have a Yorkshire Terrier, he's so old!

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Laiba M
01:45 Nov 24, 2020

I don't love bananas, but I will eat them as a snack because I still like them :) I can only have applesauce or apple pie, never raw apples :D I have two birds and one fish! This is an interesting question; if you were the host of a party, would you rather not have enough food and have guests not be able to eat or have too much food and end up wasting a lot?

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04:15 Nov 18, 2020

Hey hey hey! Me again! I heard you were getting downvoted...and even though I passed you on the leaderboard, it felt wrong so I upvoted you! I'm not asking for upvotes I just did this cause I wanted too! Have a great day! And don't let the downvoters stop you from doing what you love or what you came here to do! Lots of Snow, Ugochi!

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Laiba M
13:25 Nov 18, 2020

Thank you, Ugochi! Really, thanks :) I've been getting downvoted so consistently (friends do upvote sprees, then I lose all the points they got me or even more), and my points have been gradually decreasing. So at this point, I don't really care anymore~ if downvoters want to take me off the leaderboard, they can, that doesn't affect me or my writing! Thank you for the words as well :) Even though you didn't ask for it, I'll go and upvote you as well!

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15:13 Nov 18, 2020

Yeah that sucks, I'm sorry about that! Thank you! And anytime!!

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17:51 Nov 14, 2020

Wowza! This story is soooooo good. It is really emotional and beautiful. I love how you ended it, the last line is short but really powerful and a great way to end it. I also love how you dedicate your stories to your followers, that is so sweet and nice of you. It also probably makes them feel really appreciated also.

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Laiba M
19:04 Nov 14, 2020

Thank you, Blair :) I appreciate your sweet words!

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21:41 Nov 14, 2020

Of course!

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Niveeidha Palani
12:56 Nov 11, 2020

The last line was...beautiful. This story was so adorable! My advanced condolences to Meg, I'm sorry for your loss :( She seems like a fun and cutesy parakeet!

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Laiba M
14:37 Nov 11, 2020

Thank you, Niveeidha! Is your name an Indian name, by the way? It's beautiful! Thank you for your words, I appreciate them~

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Niveeidha Palani
00:25 Nov 12, 2020

Yes, no yours is more pretty! No problem! :)

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Laiba M
00:26 Nov 12, 2020

Thank you!

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Niveeidha Palani
00:29 Nov 12, 2020

My pleasure. If you're okay in telling me, I was curious as well. Your name sounds like an Indian too, is it?

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Laiba M
00:34 Nov 12, 2020

It's an Arabic name~ :)

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05:21 Oct 17, 2020

Laiba, this is absolutely beautiful! I love this so much!! Just to clarify, you are "Mama" right? This is SO beautiful, and this is probably my favorite story on Reedsy! Great job, and I wish I could say more to prove that this story was so amazing, but I have no words. This is just so perfect! ♡♡♡♡♡

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Laiba M
13:51 Oct 17, 2020

Thank you so much, Kylie!! I am Mama, yes, and all these events were true and did happen :) The reader should read it as if they are Mama to feel more emotion. Thank you so much for all the words! I'm not going to lie, I cried a lot while writing it :(( Thank you again!!

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15:11 Oct 17, 2020

You're welcome!! Aww, that's super cute! Awww, hey, it's gonna be okay. *sends vitual hugs and favorite candy* I wish I could ACTUALLY hug you and give you candy, but I only know you online!! And thanks to COVID, even if I did know you personally, I couldn't hug you!! :)

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15:11 Oct 17, 2020

Stupid pandemic

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Laiba M
16:20 Oct 17, 2020

Thanks, haha~~ I wish we could! Hopefully, it ends soon~ :) What's your favorite candy or chocolate?

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Avani G
22:17 Oct 17, 2020

Dark chocolate and Twix, for sure! I don't like the rest, lol.

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05:22 Oct 17, 2020

This totally deserves a win. AMAZING JOB!!! It was so full of heart, I nearly started sobbing! This was just...so perfect! :)

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05:24 Oct 17, 2020

I'm sure Meg is super happy in parakeet paradise right now! My prayers are going to you! :)

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Aafia Hanya
05:24 Jan 27, 2021

WOW Laiba, this story is so tragically beautiful. And such an amazing idea! I love it! KEEP IT UP!! May her soul rest in peace

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Laiba M
15:09 Jan 27, 2021

Thank you so much!! It was an emotional rollercoaster while writing this, haha~ You're so kind!! Thanks again, Aafia :) By the way, your name is beautiful! Is it Arabic?

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Aafia Hanya
18:53 Feb 16, 2021

❤️❤️anytime Thank you, yes it is kinda, means like peace and blessings ☺️

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Laiba M
21:06 Feb 16, 2021

:) That's so beautiful!! My name's in Arabic too, it means the prettiest maiden of heaven~ I love your name! I think I've used it in a story before, haha.

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Aafia Hanya
13:01 Feb 17, 2021

WOWWW.. beautiful. <3 oh, really :)

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Laiba M
13:09 Feb 17, 2021

Aww, thanks!! Yeah! It was about two twins named Aafia and Aaliyah :)

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B. W.
02:59 Nov 27, 2020

Whats your favorite donut place or just type of donut?

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Laiba M
03:47 Nov 27, 2020

Dunkin Donuts, Boston or Bavarian Creme :)

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B. W.
04:17 Nov 27, 2020

Which do ya like the best outta those three?

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Laiba M
21:19 Dec 11, 2020

Sorry!! I didn't see this. I was upvoting you just now and found this comment. I'd say Boston Creme!

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B. W.
21:35 Dec 11, 2020

its fine ^^

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B. W.
01:58 Nov 26, 2020

Heyyyy

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Laiba M
12:28 Nov 26, 2020

Heyy~

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B. W.
17:03 Nov 26, 2020

How are ya?

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Laiba M
18:43 Nov 26, 2020

Good! Happy Thanksgiving, btw!~~

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B. W.
21:57 Nov 26, 2020

thanks ^^ what have you done for thanksgiving?

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Laiba M
02:54 Nov 27, 2020

Had dinner and thought about what I was thankful for during COVID~ You?

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B. W.
09:38 Nov 19, 2020

Im just asking random questions again because I'm bored and still really curious, whats the weirdest thing that's ever happened at your school? it doesn't really matter which, it could be elementary, middle school or high school.

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Laiba M
13:29 Nov 19, 2020

Weirdest thing, hmm. You know those Babybel cheeses with the red wax around them? In elementary school, my friends and I would ball up the wax and throw it at the ceiling (which was super high, normal ladders wouldn't even be close to reaching it) and it would stick. They would then fall into an unsuspecting kid's food later on in the year :)

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B. W.
18:36 Nov 19, 2020

Huh, did you ever do it with them or something? or were you just there with them and only watched?

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Laiba M
19:11 Nov 19, 2020

I was the first person to do it because I was a naughty kid, lol~ I think I did it 2 or 3 times before my friends and I were caught, we threw three or four each time :D How about you?

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B. W.
19:39 Nov 19, 2020

I honestly dont think anything that weird happened at any of my schools :/ even if they did, I don't even remember

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Laiba M
20:00 Nov 19, 2020

Ohh, okay. What fruit is most commonly bought in your house?

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Amaya Macaulay
21:35 Nov 13, 2020

new biooo check it outt

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Laiba M
21:47 Nov 13, 2020

Ooh! Excited :)

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Amaya Macaulay
21:48 Nov 13, 2020

what do u thinkkk

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Laiba M
21:49 Nov 13, 2020

Oh, wow. That is amazing! I love how it sounds! You manage to make every sentence sound poetic~

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Laiba M
21:50 Nov 13, 2020

Oh, and also, I'm so thankful you mentioned me!! It seriously means so much to know that you think of me as a friend, even though we started talking recently :) I'm making sure to put you in my bio as well! What do you want to be known as? For others, I've done angel, sweetheart, inspiration, and great friend :P

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Amaya Macaulay
21:52 Nov 13, 2020

ofc, i can tell that we will be good friends even though we just started talking <3 aww just whatever you think is true, i guess.

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Laiba M
22:26 Nov 13, 2020

I agree, you're so sweet and kind! Okay, we'll see :)

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Amaya Macaulay
22:28 Nov 13, 2020

aww thanks :)

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Amaya Macaulay
21:49 Nov 13, 2020

oh it wasn't me who wrote it, i got it off pinterest but really wanted to spread it, it's so nice isn't it?

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Laiba M
21:51 Nov 13, 2020

Even so, your way of writing the types of people: color part sounded so beautiful! I can see you're an amazing writer!!

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Amaya Macaulay
21:52 Nov 13, 2020

awhhhhh thank you!!!

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Laiba M
22:26 Nov 13, 2020

No problem!!

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Amaya Macaulay
21:21 Nov 09, 2020

I really love your name! It's so gorgeous and so unique and beautiful and lovely

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Laiba M
21:39 Nov 09, 2020

Thank you~! It means a lot, really :)

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Amaya Macaulay
18:50 Oct 21, 2020

I love love love your stories, and how you dedicate them to your followers. I think that's such a sweet thing to do. I've been quietly reading your stories for a while but I think it's time to comment, because I love them so much! congratulations on 2000 points! upvote spree?

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Laiba M
00:33 Oct 22, 2020

Hello~!! Thank you so much :) you're very sweet yourself! I'm glad you decided to comment :D Sure! How many points?

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Amaya Macaulay
00:49 Oct 22, 2020

I actually can't do it today :( If you do it for me whenever, I can do you tomorrow afternoon. How about 200?

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Laiba M
00:50 Oct 22, 2020

Sure! I'll do that now :)

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Amaya Macaulay
04:01 Oct 22, 2020

Did you do it? I haven't gotten any :( I think that down voter is back at it

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Laiba M
13:03 Oct 22, 2020

I did over 200...

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21:26 Oct 16, 2020

Oh no, Laiba...I don't know what to tell you. I'd say I was sorry about your pet, but I don't want to give you pity. I want to let you know that you are strong and you can get through this. Wherever Meg is, I know she's thinking of you. She was one lucky bird to have you as an owner, and given that the events of this story are true, I am more than 100% sure Meg would feel the same. I wish you the best of luck moving onwards. May poor little Meg soar in Paradise. ❤ P.S. The story itself was wonderful. It made me teary-eyed and so nosta...

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Laiba M
21:47 Oct 16, 2020

Thank you so much, Adrienne! It means so much, I'm grateful for your words and support ❤❤❤

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22:30 Oct 16, 2020

Anytime! And, please, call me Ria. :)

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Laiba M
22:59 Oct 16, 2020

Beautiful nickname! I will :)

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23:00 Oct 16, 2020

Aww, you're so sweet! Thanks!

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Laiba M
23:02 Oct 16, 2020

No problem, Ria :D

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Arwen Dove
05:43 Mar 09, 2021

Simply lovely!

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Laiba M
12:15 Mar 09, 2021

Aww, thank you!!!

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Meggy House
22:57 Jan 23, 2021

Hi Laiba! I know I'm late to this party but wow, this was a brilliant story (and as a Meg, I felt really connected). You write beautifully and I could absolutely feel the desperation and loss, but the whole thing was so eloquent and beautiful. I am so sorry about your lovely bird's death. I can't do much, but I went and upvoted you a bit. I know Reedsy's gotten crazy with the numbers but hopefully it'll let you smile a bit.

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Laiba M
00:58 Jan 24, 2021

Oh, no! It always makes me so happy whenever people comment, regardless of when they do :) You're so, so kind. I've said this so, so many times in the comments, but I did cry a lot while writing this, so I do think it was one I could really relate to and pour everything into~ I appreciate it! Thank you so much!!! I definitely did! Not even a bit, I think I'm going to have permanent smile lines around my mouth from that :D You're so nice, and I'm so glad that there are people like you on this platform!

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Meggy House
15:37 Jan 28, 2021

Thank you so much! Your comments and stories are so lovely, and I appreciate being on here with you :)

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Laiba M
20:50 Jan 28, 2021

Always :) So are you! You're a very sweet Reeder, as Zilla voted to call us :D~ People like you are what make me stay on platforms like these!!

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Meggy House
20:42 Jan 29, 2021

Thank you! People like you encourage me to stay here as well :) And I quite like the term "Reeder;" I think I'm going to start using it.

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Laiba M
21:32 Jan 29, 2021

Aww, you really are so kind~ Glad to hear!

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Aman Fatima
05:43 Jan 21, 2021

Amazing story!!!!

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Laiba M
16:30 Jan 21, 2021

Thank you so much, Aman!~

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Aman Fatima
16:35 Jan 21, 2021

Welcome. And when you have time read some of my stories and let me know your thoughts.

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Laiba M
16:36 Jan 21, 2021

I will~~

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Aman Fatima
16:38 Jan 21, 2021

:)

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Aman Fatima
16:38 Jan 21, 2021

:)

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B. W.
03:25 Dec 25, 2020

I got a new story out :D

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Laiba M
14:34 Dec 25, 2020

Can't wait to see it :)

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B. W.
15:00 Dec 25, 2020

Hey, Merry Christmas ^^

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Laiba M
15:36 Dec 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! What are you doing today?

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B. W.
16:16 Dec 25, 2020

I got a lot of games and other things, so I guess I'm going to do those.

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Laiba M
18:28 Dec 25, 2020

Oh, that sounds so fun! You should do something with your brothers :D

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Hello, Laiba! I've been reading all of your comments on this story and a few others and I feel like I know you already! Your work is AMAZING! I love how you write about other people, (or followers.) I have been on Reedsy for awhile, but I just realized tonight that I have been missing out on a huge community. Thank you! :)

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Laiba M
13:33 Dec 04, 2020

Hi, Rose!~ Thank you SO much for your sweet words! You're so kind :) I did the same when I started here! I was just reading through stories and writing for the prompts on my own, and finally realized I should make an account and share stories and comments!

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Thank you! :)

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Laiba M
15:53 Dec 04, 2020

Of course~~

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B. W.
05:23 Dec 01, 2020

I got it out :D check it out and leave some feedback

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Laiba M
14:10 Dec 01, 2020

Ohh, excited~~

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B. W.
17:35 Dec 01, 2020

its probably terrible

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Laiba M
17:36 Dec 01, 2020

No!! I loved it~

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B. W.
17:46 Dec 01, 2020

:)

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