Apple of my eye

Submitted for Contest #63 in response to: Write about two characters going apple picking.... view prompt

60 comments

Oct 14, 2020

High School Romance Teens & Young Adult

ARYAMAN

I'm on a wobbly ladder but I don't care. I have to pluck as many apples as possible, its a freaking competition. I see the other players ravishing the whole tree, the time is ticking. But I can't move cause I'm perplexed of her beauty. How her hair are reaching her shoulders, how her smile is sweet, her eyes like small pearls shining in this fog. Right now she's standing down with a basket in her hands gesturing me to pluck the apples, but I can't move I think I have fallen in love with her. AGAIN


JIYA

Since the time I have remembered that all I wanted from my childhood is to play outside till my heart wanted. I wanted to make friends, I wanted to attend my schools every single day, I wanted the teenage crushes. But all I got was silence among ceasefires. What did a 16 year old girl want?

A normal and a hormonal teenage life...

I left reading books cause in books you find places, food, adventure and people. Which were not the part of my life, it were the craving of my life. And now instead of giving me hope, these books were now giving me the reality of life that I would never get them in this life time.


February 13th

Snapchat was my magic portal. it was better than books cause it had animal filters . It would really transform me, would see amazing feed, stories, hacks and of course cute cat videos.

Its been a month I like have 10 friends who are super close to me now. They belong to different countries, backgrounds which enhance all our friendship. Sometimes we all would zoom call, collab and all. Everything was fine until his request came.

"it was ARYAMAN"


ARYAMAN

"Soul treasure" a not so unique name. Not so punky name, but it stuck a chord with me, cause there was only one girl in our community who talked about "soul" JIYA it was her phrase " the biggest treasure I have is my soul". And this username was clearly depicting that. And top of that the bitmoji.

Blue streaks, neon eyeshadow, high boots it was resonating her. I had synced my contact for friend suggestion and I found her.

I immediately sent her the request, and I don't have any regrets for it.


JIYA

OMG ....

Why did Aryaman send me a friend request? Should I accept him or block him?

Aryaman was my classmate but more than that he was my crush. He was the boy who I used to imagine about in romantic songs, whose name I used to write on the last page of my binder.

We used to never talk with each other but that didn't mean that there wouldn't be secret staring. But why the friend request without thinking much I accepted it. And WTF he's already typing

I read the message...

"HI"

"I KNOW ITS YOU JIYA"


ARYAMAN

I didn't expected that she would immediately accept my request. She has seen my message but was not replying.

Then my phone buzzes, she's texting ....

"Do I know you? who are you talking about"?

I reply with my sweaty hands

"I thought you must have guessed by right now seeing my username, and I'm talking about you Jiya".

she replies" I think you have mistaken me "?

"NO, I haven't Jiya but I think you have mistaken my intensions, in this valley of beauty lies loneliness that has gripped us. And I know that you are the most affected by it. I just want to share heart to heart soul talk that's it, and right now I have these beautiful golden tickets with me of apple festival. And I want you to come with me that's all I want, if you disagree simply block me".


JIYA

I haven't ever received such a beautiful invitation and I loved the way he expressed his intentions to me and above all I couldn't resist the ticket. It was the only way that I could breath fresh air

I typed

"As usual you passed the test Mr. topper, how come you knew that it was me"

"You are the only person who has treasured my soul with yours"

I couldn't stop blushing.

We were chatting all day busy calling each other, the fun fact was that we used not have these cheesy talks but we used to discuss about the world, countries, food, music and sometimes even politics. But the best part was when we used to share and listen each other dreams. I got to see such better part of aryaman that I never even thought of.


ARYAMAN

"The next round is apple custard, you have been allotted 45 minutes. Your time starts now" blared the instructor of the competition.

Jiya immediately wrapped her hair in a bun but even I was rebellious I pulled down her hair immediately.

"What are you doing aryaman our competition has already started"

I said "It must be the competition for you, but I am here to watch you"

She smiled as, if I was a child and I swear we both were blushing

So our custard got hard, we didn't win any games or competition. But what we enjoyed the most was each others presence. I have like captured in my eyes her every move, her hair flic, her walk, her giggle and her maddening laughter. Like I have recorded her each and every move, cause in a environment like this the memories only give you hope.


JIYA

So, like I'm a control freak person, I go crazy even if I come second. But we lost every competition badly but still I was giggling.

Want to know why?

cause I have won the game of love I have won aryaman. Right now walking with him in this chilly weather, all I can think is the day we spent.

At last I think this valley has seen love...

In this apple festival I found the ticket of golden heart. Which I will cherish all my life.








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60 comments

Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Radhika Diksha
14:10 Mar 31, 2021

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Rayhan Hidayat
02:36 Oct 18, 2020

Good stuff, Radhika! I love how it's set in a competition, and the way you layered that on top of the romance; the ending reminds me of a cartoon with that little end message/moral at the end about who the real winners are. I also thought you captured the simplicity of teenage romance quite well. Keep it up! ;)

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Radhika Diksha
03:47 Oct 18, 2020

thanks

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Yolanda Wu
05:10 Oct 16, 2020

What a cute story! You managed the two perspectives really well, the little snippets that cut between each other were just perfect, sometimes that could lead to clunkiness, but you did it amazingly, and it flowed extremely well. I love how you captured the awkwardness of teenage romance. It is a fantastic story. Amazing work, Radhika!

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Radhika Diksha
06:46 Oct 16, 2020

Thankyou so much for your comment. You too are a amazing writer, and your stories are amazing. Hope that I can reach in touch with you.

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Yolanda Wu
07:32 Oct 16, 2020

Of course, I'm available on Reedsy any time if you want to chat. :)

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Radhika Diksha
07:51 Oct 16, 2020

yeah like talking about stories and stuff, I new here and I want to have conversations from my fellow writers. I'm 19 by the way..

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Yolanda Wu
08:10 Oct 16, 2020

I love talking about stories! I only came in July, so I'm pretty new myself. I'm a little younger than you - a week away from my 16th birthday, haha.

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Radhika Diksha
08:26 Oct 16, 2020

so happy birthday in advance. And enjoy your 16th birthday and this teenage life, I never enjoyed my teenage life the way I wanted you just don't do the same mistake like I have done. Your 16th year wont come back so live it to fullest.

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Echo Sundar
17:37 Nov 24, 2020

Aww, this story is so sweet. I loved the story but I also loved the name it was really creative the prompt was about apple picking and your story was a romance so it's called " Apple Of My Eye" I just thought that was really creative :)

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Radhika Diksha
17:43 Nov 24, 2020

Thank you so much, Rachel. Love you for observing my story so deeply.

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Echo Sundar
17:53 Nov 24, 2020

Any time :) And please tell me when you push out a new story because I would want to read it :)

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22:54 Oct 22, 2020

Good job! This story is very well done it. It hooks you and pulls you in and the flow is amazing. Keep up the good work :)

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15:17 Oct 18, 2020

Cool story. I found the switching back and forth difficult to follow, but the overall plot line flowed well. The theme was good, and the romance simple--which I like--providing a simple feel-good vibe throughout the whole thing. I can confirm the accuracy of the awkwardness displayed here. :P The only thing I would point out is that the story--while still enjoyable--lacks enough conflict to drive it further. There is some minor conflict (between Aryaman and Jiya in the beginning) but perhaps not quite enough. As an a great author once ...

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Radhika Diksha
18:14 Oct 18, 2020

thankyou

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