The Almost Breakup, Reese's Pieces, and a Baseball Cap (Part 2)

Submitted for Contest #61 in response to: Write about a character who smells something familiar and is instantly taken back to the first moment they smelled it.... view prompt

Sep 26, 2020

Romance Funny

Author’s Note: All of the sections inside of the italicized parts are the memories. This is a flashback from one of their dates! Hope you enjoy it!


I sniff the candy Henry presented me with. I gasp and I am suddenly brought back to a memory I vaguely remember - the first time Henry brought me this chocolate.Β 


I was sixteen at the time, and I thought that our sixth date was going to be awesome. I was deeply disappointed. We were at a theater, and we had purchased tickets to a romantic comedy titled, "That's My Wife!" We entered the theater, and Henry was being a gallant gentleman. He bought me popcorn, and my favorite candy, Reeses Pieces. I recall giggling as Henry tossed popcorn into the air and caught it in his mouth. We entered the dark theater and took the seats in the back row. I took a seat next to him and rested my head on his chest, not paying attention to the movie, but just listening to his steady breathing. I clasped my hand around his and looked up at him. He was grinning down at me. I smiled back and stared at the screen. The movie didn’t seem very interesting, I started to get a headache from it. The lids of my eyes started to shut and I succumbed to my body’s desire to rest.Β 


I snap back to reality, shaking my head abruptly. β€œThank you, Henry.” I present him with a genuine smile, before opening the package, and popping one in my mouth. Oh no, it’s happening again! I wince as the wave of nostalgia hits again.


My head slid down abruptly, and it collided with the hard armchair. I jumped, startled at the hard awakening. Henry wasn’t there. I looked around the theater, and just as I was about to give up, I saw the tattered edge of a Yankees hat. Henry had a hat identical to it. I rose from my seat and shimmied past all of the people to the side of me, cringing as I realized how I was blocking their view. I sneak around the side of the theater, and I’m shocked at what I see.Β 


β€œKara! Are you okay?” Henry asks, a concerned expression pasted on his face. β€œI was asking you what you thought of this cap?” He asked. He was wearing the Yankees cap. That stupid cap. Then I felt the feeling overcome me again, the feeling of reminiscence. Here we go again.Β 


Henry was talking to this beautiful worker about my age, and it looked like he was flirting with her! I was shocked! The girl had long, shiny blonde hair, twinkling blue eyes, and a perfect complexion. It was no comparison to my short mousy brown hair pinned up in a messy bun, my brown eyes that were the same shade as mud, and my skin covered in freckles. The girl was twirling her hair around her finger and laughing at everything that Henry said.Β 

My anger was boiling up inside me, before I couldn’t take it anymore. I jumped out from behind the wall, and nearly screamed at him. β€œWho is this?!” I shrieked as quietly as I could muster.Β 

β€œKara, this is B-” he started, but then I cut him off.Β 

β€œI don’t want to hear it!” I pushed past both of them, and wiped at the tears forming in my eyes, and jogged out of the theater. β€œJust leave me alone!” I sprinted past the confused workers at the front, and walked out into the pouring rain. β€œGreat, I totally forgot it was raining.” I grumbled as my hair grew wetter and wetter by the second. I sprinted towards where I thought my car was placed, and I grew angry at what I saw. It wasn’t my car, it was Henry’s grey Jeep!Β 

I sat on the hood of the car, grimacing as the seat of my pants became soaked. I folded my arms and took out my phone. Dead. β€œWonderful.” I muttered. β€œDoes everything bad happen to me?” I was sitting there listening to the rain for a while, before I saw Henry rushing out of the theater. I could see the look of relief on his face when he spotted me resting on his car.Β 


β€œKara! What do you think?” He asks me. β€œOh, the hat? It looks great!” I reply. He smiles sheepishly, and then clutches his keys. β€œOkay, well I’m going to go hang out with Josh.” Josh was Henry’s best friend. β€œOkay, bye!” β€œBye!” He heads out to the garage and I hear the roar of his engine stir to life. That sound - it was the same one the Jeep made at the movie theater.


Henry made it to where I was positioned and without hesitation, he ploppedΒ onto the car and stared at me.Β 

β€œWhat?” I ask glumly.Β 

β€œWhat happened back there?” he asked.Β 

β€œYou were flirting with another girl, Henry! You were cheating on me! I think we’re gonna have to break up!” 

Henry looked surprised, but then he burst into laughter. I stared at him in shocked silence. β€œWhat's so funny?” I asked, majorly confused.

β€œKara, that was my cousin, Blair.” he assured me, still chuckling. My jaw dropped.Β 

His cousin? I guess I could see the resemblance, I mean, their eyes were the same color, and they both had blonde hair. But the thought had never crossed my mind. β€œYour cousin?” I repeated in utter shock.Β 

β€œYes!” Henry exclaimed. β€œShe’s two years older than me!”

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. They were probably the color of a tomato by now. I took a deep breath and blurted, β€œI’m sorry, I was jealous, and I really like you and I didn’t want you to fall for someone else.” 

Henry laughed and said, β€œReally?” When I nodded, he took my hand and said, β€œI really like you, too.”

My cheeks went from the color of a tomato to a light pink. I just grinned widely, before Henry cleared his throat and asked, β€œYou want to watch a movie at my place instead?” 

β€œYeah, let’s do that.” I said, as I pulled as Reese’s out of my pocket and offered it to him. He accepted it without hesitation, and we popped them into our mouths at the same time.Β 

β€œCheers!” he said.

β€œCheers.”


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187 comments

Eeeh, cringe! 1. I hope you enjoyed! 2. Let me know if you want a Part 3, I'm all for the idea! 3. I'm totally willing to take feedback!

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4. Blair Lemon, you are mentioned in this!

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1. I really enjoyed this~ 2. Yes, please!!! Omg 3. I love every aspect of this story <3

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1. Thank you! 2. Hmm, maybe I will then... 3. Thank you so so much!! :)

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PLEASE PLEASEE Make a part three I would absolutely love to read it!!

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I will! I've decided! Probably not this week, though, but another time!

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Cal Carson
19:49 Oct 03, 2020

Cute read! Was gonna drop some feedback, but feel free to ignore it if you want, I'm far from professional! "Henry was talking to this beautiful worker about my age, and it looked like he was flirting with her! I was shocked!" I feel like the 'I was shocked' was a little redundant, considering you said it already, and pretty recently. Not really necessary in my opinion. Also, when Kara storms past Henry, it feels a little bit like an overreaction. Could be just me. But maybe add a bit more to build up that tension? Again, your stor...

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Thank you so much, Cal! I loved the feedback, and I will definitely change it! :)

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Cal Carson
20:11 Oct 03, 2020

Yeah, np!

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Sia Sharma
05:24 Sep 26, 2020

Awww This was so sweet !!!!! No critique ! Except maybe the story could have been a li, longer , but still good job !!

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Aww, thank you! I'm going to upvote ya, for no reason in particular, I just feel like it! lol :)

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Sia Sharma
05:32 Sep 26, 2020

Thanks!! This down voter is so ruthless. I lost 2000 points in my SLEEP !!

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You're in 28th place!! I got you up 5 places!! YAY!!!

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So happy for you! And I know, they are so mean!

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Sia Sharma
06:13 Sep 26, 2020

ya but again, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

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Sia Sharma
06:27 Sep 26, 2020

Ur 96 ! Enjoy! BUT IM GONNA GET YA TO 92!!!!!!

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Sia Sharma
06:13 Sep 26, 2020

WHAT?!? My points!!!! Omggggggggghhh THANK YOU SO MUCH KYLIE!!!!!!! MAN, WHERE R U ON THE LEARDERBOARD? CUZ IM GONNA GET U 10 PLACES UP !!!!!!!!! THANSKSSSSSS

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEH THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! YOU ARE THE BEST EVER THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU EEEEEEEEH!!!!!

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B. W.
02:33 Sep 26, 2020

Kylie it isn't cringe! none of your stories are, all of your stories are really great along with this one ^^ probably better than some of my stories though tbh. Hm, i think that there SHOULD be something like a part 3 for it, i think that it would be interesting and fun. I also really love the way how you did the flash-back stuff all through-out the story and really just about everything in the story, i'm not sure if i ever saw anything wrong with it. ya know what im gonna go ahead and give this? 10/10 :)

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Awww, you are so nice! Thank you so much!!

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B. W.
02:55 Sep 26, 2020

No problem ^^ i'm excited for your other stories that you'll make later

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Aww, thank you so so much!!

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B. W.
03:48 Sep 26, 2020

No prob ^^ maybe i could do something like a nod to you in one of my stories or novels?

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Aww, thank you! That would be awesome! Do you have a name that you would like to be called because I am writing a short story right now and I want you to be the main character! What do you want to be named??

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1. I did! 2. Yes! Part 3 please! 3. Nothing, really!

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I loved the descriptions and the way you switched from memory to present tense! You even changed the tenses for each thing! Great job!

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This was short, but so sweet and heartwarming. Amazing job, Kylie :) You always do well on your stories

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No problem! This was so cute I melted :((

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Charles Stucker
09:55 Sep 26, 2020

Cute little romance. VERY glad you had no grammar errors because I'm running short on time this week. Truthfully, I think you did exactly what you wanted with this. The flow is great and the italics let the flashback scene stand out. The quick back and forth along with the frustration of the protagonist at being drawn into memories kept it moving quickly without becoming predictable. Very good overall.

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Thank you, this made my day!

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Hey! I couldn't find my comment so I'll just start a new one! First thank youuu so much for telling Avani upvote me that was so sweett! And thank you forrr mentioning me in your BIO ah your too niceee! Thankk youu!

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You are so welcome!! :)

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Rachel Sundar
18:37 Oct 03, 2020

This is a really great story! I like how it keeps going from the present to the past and then back again.

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Thank you Rachel! Do you want to do an upvote spree for upvote spree?

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Alexandra Dyess
15:40 Oct 03, 2020

I loved this!! I’m still kind of need to Reedsy so I don’t know how all of this works lol. Yes please for a part three! It’d be really cool if you could read my short story from this prompt! You’re amazing!

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Haha, yes! Let's get you some karma points!

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. . .
15:51 Oct 02, 2020

This was a great story! I loved all of the flashbacks - amazing work!

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Hey! Do you wanna join 'Operation Christmas Spirit?' Abby and I made it. We just do random upvotes of 100 and make people happy :D

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Cute cute cute! Thats all I have to say. On to part 3!

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Raymond Kelly
17:18 Oct 21, 2020

This is sweet. I really love the way you told the story of the old date by using random bits of the present to bring it to her memory. I also loved her reluctance to remember it. I was drawn into the past's date, even though the events were unremarkable (which is OK) by the character's response to the past. I liked the final twist, where it was his cousin and they confess their love for each other. That was adorable. All around, I feel you did a bang-up job with this one!

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Thank you so much! This is probably my second favorite of my stories, after Rags to Riches! Thank you for all of the kind words!!

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B. W.
00:45 Oct 13, 2020

Oh my gosh- i just saw the thing where some people were in your bio and i saw what you said for me and that ya even added me. It's all so cute honestly ^^ Those were for Reedsy friends right? "Queen of killing boredom" Awww, you really think i do that?

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Of course!! Thank you!

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B. W.
00:46 Oct 13, 2020

:)

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Ray Dyer
20:58 Oct 06, 2020

This is such a sweet slice-of-life story. We've all been there and can so easily relate. The mannerisms and actions of the 16-year-old are totally on point, and the relationship between them is what we all hope for at, well, just about any age. Someone who can laugh at our mistakes and accept us for who we are.

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Thank you so much, Ray!

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B. W.
16:11 Oct 02, 2020

check out 'a savior' and leave some feedback ^^

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B. W.
21:26 Oct 23, 2020

heyyyy

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