Potatoes

Submitted for Contest #60 in response to: Write a funny post-apocalyptic story.... view prompt

10 comments

Sep 22, 2020

Fantasy Kids Funny

The doctor was staring at the meatball sitting in front of him. His flesh was loose, the belly was perfectly round and squishy, but it definitely had a little elasticity to give an extra level of pleasure to the person who would tap on it. The doctor didn't touch him, but his long experience told him all that. He knew his patient was an overweight guy who didn't even seem to care about it. He came here for acute knee pain. Who would say to him that his obesity is the root of his problems? But the fluffy man was not at all ashamed of his bad habits of eating a whole ocean at a time.

"Do you know it's not at all good to be that fat?"

"Hey, it's not my fault. I have become like that, because of this world."

"Eh! Stop lying. Look, I'm a doctor and I know you eat too much and don't exercise. So..."

"You don't believe me!"

"Try to understand, you have to reduce your BMI if you want to live healthily"

" I didn't think I'll share this information with anyone. But, guess I don't have any choice now. Do you want to know Why I'm fat? Well, let me tell you a story first."

"Don't waste my time."

" I'll only tell the necessary parts. This is a story of three people. Not very long ago the world wasn't like this----------


"Not very long ago people used to live a happy normal life. But suddenly everything changed. Science fiction writers have predicted and described many kinds of apocalypse in their fiction. Starting from omnipotent A.I. taking over the world to the self-destruction of the sun. Nuclear holocaust and zombies had been used as morning walk!

But these nonsense bunch of fictional stories are useless and nothing compared to the problem what people are facing now.

This kind of apocalypse was never ever imagined. As a result of this destructive apocalypse, people are now unable to use lifts. They can't walk properly, eat properly, sit properly.

This ultimate phenomenon destroyed our lifestyle. And the main problem we're facing is....."

"Cut it out, Steve. We all know what this is. In fact, look at me!" Steve looked at the poor potato lying on the couch, scratching his head. No, wait! It wasn't a potato! It was his friend Paul!

His body is completely round. His head was completely sunk inside his tremendous belly. Hands and legs were kinda like big sized cucumbers and his fingers were comparable with big round and juicy grapes. He had been transformed into a huge potato.

"Umm, sorry about that Paul.", he said softly.

It all started almost a year ago. The government of 'Ekta' ordered and forced all the farmers to cultivate a special genotype of potato. It should have been an over-productive type, in fact, it was. But, after people started to eat those potatoes, soon they also started to turn into potato-like species themselves!

A group of young scientists started working in order to find out a way to cope with it.

"Steve, what should we do know? All of our co-workers have been turned into potatoes. Even me! Soon I even won't be able to ta....."

"Oh no, Paul!"

"We're doomed, now it's only you and me.", Stated Nick, pro gamer, the fattest person in that room. Of course, his belly was nothing big in front of Paul's. But once Paul used to be the thinnest member of their group.

TAN. TAN. TAN. TAN.!

They were startled by the sudden sound. It was their Auto Surveillance System's Alarm. That meant it had found something. They rushed to the control room.

"Marvelous! We finally found one of the parliament members"

"Let's go and talk. It's highly likely the government was involved in this crisis"

They at once rushed to the detected spot. Even Paul was going rolling his body.

But they didn't get what they expected. The parliament member was also turned out to be a potato himself!

"So, the government wasn't involved?"

"How can we know that Steve?"

They searched the empty house only to waste time.

"Hey Nick, look what I found!", He had a file in his hand.

"It reads: the government received the formula of hybrid potato from a legendary creature called 'the Jamba'. "

"What do you mean by 'the Jamba'!? So, wasn't it scientific warfare?"

"I don't know, but, if we want to stop it, we have to touch all the bases."

"So, where can we find that so called Jamba?"

"No data. But I'm sure we can find more information in the library."

They headed to the library. In the meantime, Paul totally lost his sanity and started to try to slam Nick and Steve.

It is also needed to be mentioned that, the strange syndrome not only turned people in potatoes but also affected the thinking process. The person who's effected used to get an instinct of killing people by slamming them.

"Whoa, Paul!"

"Hey, Nick, let's hide in that house, with that fat body, there's no way he will be able to enter."

They entered an abandoned house breaking the front door with a heavy kick.

But they were wrong.

Paul was fat but also quite elastic. He managed to enter and kept following them.

"He is coming, Steve! He is coming! "

Steve had eyes. He also saw that creature coming.

''Head to the stairs!"

They ran upstairs at a furious speed. This time it was successful. Paul could not climb the stairs because of his excessive weight.

"That was close.", sighed Nick.

"We're safe, but we need to get out of here."

Steve started to look around the house. "I think, there is a private library here."

"That's good luck, but it's highly unlikely that we'll find out anything about the Jamba here."

"Found it!"

"Impossible!",

Nick didn't believe what he just heard.

"It's possible that the house owner was a fan of legends."

"You mean apex legends?"

"It's not a funny idiot! The world is at stake and you're talking about games!"

"My bad."

Reading the book they found, they found out the place where the Jamba used to live.

"Steve, listen to me, we need to run faster than super Mario and even sonic if we want to reach the mount Takara today."

"Stop talking about games. Lemme think a bit."

During the first few months of the apocalypse, all the vehicles had been destroyed. So that was out of the question. But remaining out of the base wasn't at all safe. They already knew higher places were least likely to be attacked.

"I have an idea, Steve."

"If it's about games then no thanks."

"Trust me, you'll like it."

Soon the pair were heading towards mount Takara.

How?

Well, they were running on Paul's round body causing him to roll. They were running backward in order to progress forward. The idea was perfect.

They soon reached mount, Takara.

The mountain had a big dark cave. Nothing could be seen inside.

"Jamba! We're here to talk with you. We have a little business to settle."

A bright light started to come out of the cave.

They could see a humongous shadow on the farthest wall of the cave. It was almost 20 meters long. It looked like a fat dragon with relatively small wings. The shadow looked creepy. They were trembling with fear. And, when the monster came out, they were shocked to discover, the great Jamba, was, actually,

a chicken!


It was indeed a regular-sized chicken, but the shadow was tremendous because of the angle from which they were watching it.

"Greetings my friends. What do you want from me?"

"You turned all the people into potatoes. We request you to make everything normal again, or.."

"We'll fry and eat you!"

"Shut up Nick! .... I'm begging, do forgive my fellow friend for his rudeness."

"Nah don't worry, I'm not at all angry. Actually, the government of Ekta asked me to solve the malnutrition problem. And that's why I decided to solve the problem once and for all by making them overweight"

"I see. But, our government didn't mean anything like this. I beg you please make everything normal again."

"That's not possible."

"If you don't do what we say, we're sure having a grilled chicken with soya sauce today..."

Steve shoots a killing look at Nick's eyes making him quiet once again.

"Isn't there any way?"

" I'm afraid there's a way but you can't do that."

"Just tell us."

"If I have to undo the formula, I'll need to do the chicken dance. But I can't do that unless someone defeats me in the Competition."

"What kind of competition?"

"You'll gonna have to defeat me in eating competition."

Both friends burst into laughter. Steve sure was a master class scientist. But he also was well known for his massive eating habits. And as the competitor was just a 1 feet tall chicken, it wasn't even a competition!

"You don't need to be worried. Let's do this."

"Okay, don't say I didn't warn ya!"

Soon two 1000 litter boxes filled with noodles were visible before them.

"I don't think we'll need that much."

"Oh!, I don't think so!", The small chicken started to evolve and turned into a big fat elephant with a relatively small nose!

"H-hey!, That's cheating!"

"I warned you before!"

Nick was afraid and didn't know what to do. But he saw a grin on Steve's face. "Noodles are my favorite! I always wanted to eat as much as I want. But never could because of a shortage of money. I finally got my chance!", He said to himself, "if I don't win I'll still be able to enjoy the noodles!"

"Hey! Why are you laughing!?"

"Don't worry, Nick. I've got this!"

Soon the competition began.

Both the contestants were eating like they hadn't eaten for years. 2 bowls, 3 bowls...21 bowls, 22 bowls....67 bowls...none of them showed any sign of withdrawal. 346 bowl, Steve was getting fatter and fluffier with every bowl he devoured. 543 bowl, Steve started to get difficulties. But he continued nevertheless.657 bowl, the elephant was already 6 bowls ahead. But the competition was far from over.

"You can do it, Steve, the fate of humanity depends on you!"

768 bowl, the elephant also having trouble now; though he is already 21 bowls ahead. Steve had become a giant football by then. With every bowl, it was getting harder and harder.

"Do it, Steve!"

The competition turned insane. Both of them were running out of energy. They were having trouble continuing. Steve had eliminated the difference between them.

Both of them were eating 974 number bowl. But suddenly the elephant burst, scattering millions of ultra-fat chickens everywhere. That watermelon like chickens had ridiculously small wings and almost no neck. Looking like fluffy watermelons.

"I can't believe I'm lost!", Stated Jamba. "Oh well, I'll keep my promise."

The Jamba or Jambas started to do the chicken dance in order to reverse everything.



---------------------- Jamba kept his promise. Thus once again, everything became normal. He also altered the memory of the people so that no one remembers the facts.."

"And what's the connection of it with your obesity?"

"I'm Steve."

" Stop joking. You think I'm going to buy this ridiculous story?"

" I'm serious!"

" What do you think, I'm a clown?! This story has to be a lie. It has so many plot holes.

it's impossible for a person to eat that much. And people turning into potatoes; what it has to do with vehicles?! You don't even know how to lie properly."

" I'm not lying. It's true. Believe me!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was wrong. Obesity isn't the biggest problem you have. Don't worry. I'm recommending you a good psychologist. "

"Okay. You won't trust me. I think I don't have any choice left. Here you go. Eat it.", He picked up a boiled potato from a tiffin box he was carrying. The doctor received it and started to devour it without hesitation.

"Don't think I believe you. I'm just hungry that is why I accepted the treat. In fact, your ridiculous story made me hungry!."

As soon as he swallowed the potato. He turned into a huge fluffy potato himself!


Moral: Never eat potatoes from strangers!


***. ***. ***


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10 comments

Lynn Penny
14:00 Sep 23, 2020

Hey this isn't my fault. I have become like this because of this world." This sentence here has too many “this” I know sometimes it can be hard but limiting repetitions of words will help your writing. “ I didn't thought I'll share this information with anyone I believe “thought I’ll” should be replaced with “think I’d” What do you mean?, the Jamba! So, it wasn't a scientific warfare?" Your grammar is a bit off in some parts of your story, but everyone falls victim to grammar. Try writing in grammarly, it’s what I use and it’s amazing. ...

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
15:49 Sep 23, 2020

Thanks for your valuable advice! I'll never be able to thank you enough. Really you are spending so much time and effort reading out the story and pointing out the important flaws. When I asked you for the first time, I never imagined you would be so kind! You don't even know yourself how much you are helping me. I really appreciate it! You know, I'm not so comfortable writing English. But your tips on using the Grammarly is sure gonna help me. Thanks a million. I really can't thank you enough.

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Lynn Penny
16:48 Sep 23, 2020

It’s my pleasure to help other writers out. Thank you for your kind email.

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
09:04 Sep 22, 2020

I choose this ridiculous plot for kids, as I thought complex plots will make them confused. I'm looking forward for any kind of suggestions and criticisms.🙌

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Blane Britt
13:08 Sep 23, 2020

I'm quite impressed with your story. Keep writing.

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
03:37 Sep 25, 2020

Thanks !

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Charles Stucker
09:46 Oct 03, 2020

Lynn pretty well nailed the issue of using a good grammar checker. The framing device, an obese man trying to explain why his weight is not his fault, is done humorously. The story maintains a sense of the absurd throughout. If it was still edit time, I would suggest changing the title to "Small Potatoes?"

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
16:05 Oct 03, 2020

Yeah, Lynn, and you are really helping me with valuable advice. Small potatoes 😂 add a new level of humor! I wish I still had time for an edit. Thanks for the advice. Keep well.

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Leslie Phare
01:28 Sep 29, 2020

I enjoyed this, it was a fun romp of a story! I'm going to share this with my nine-year-old, he's going to love it!

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
02:07 Sep 29, 2020

Thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked it. I'll work more for kids in the future.

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