Zombie Fever

Submitted for Contest #60 in response to: Write a post-apocalyptic story that features zombies.... view prompt

51 comments

Sep 20, 2020

Thriller



I aimed my rifle and pulled the trigger. Bang! The bullet hit right between the eyes.

“Yeah!” I exclaimed.

He went down with a thunk and a dash of splat. Another one down. How many more to go? Who knows? All I can say is at one time I hated these killings (or can you even call it a killing) and now I kind of enjoy it. Would you say I’m going out of my mind? I’m not the one to ask at this present time but the way this world has gone I’ll be surprised if I ever meet a normal person to ask such a question.

Well, before I begin telling you this gruesome tale it would be good manners to give you my name. It’s Peter. Peter Limerick. Nothing special about the name. Just a guy trying to live a normal life at one time.  

Now lets go back in time with the tale that if you are of faint of heart you should probably stop reading, and find yourself another pleasant tale of times long gone. It started five long years ago. One beautiful day that turned into the worst day I ever experienced due to humanity's greed and stupidity. It was the day the walking dead came back to feast on our flesh. It was hard to believe there were zombies roaming around. You see movies or read books about the undead but to become a reality. This was unbelievable in my thoughts. The news reported almost immediately upon the rotting corpses rising from their graves or leaving the funeral homes. It didn’t take long at all for people to start getting munched on. The scary thing is once they were munched or even nibbled by a zombie they become one. Soon there were hundreds to thousands of zombies roaming around. But the people soon found out if you paid them no attention they ignored you. Quite strange of a concept, but better than being chased after at all times. You can walk right by them, and all is good. They just stumble on their merry way stinking up the neighborhood. Let me say this again. As long as you ignore them you can walk the streets without being munched. But, there is one big problem with such a concept. Have you ever tried to walk down a sidewalk with people walking by with their head half torn off or a leg or arm ripped off? I highly doubt it. Some people were able to do such a thing for so long, but the larger majority couldn’t do such a thing. 

One day as I walked home I looked across the street and saw a couple walking. A zombie was approaching them. It was limping due to the left leg about to come off. By looking at the couple I could tell they were trying to ignore the zombie as it got closer and closer. They were almost hit by the zombie when the leg fell off and landed in front of the couple. The woman screamed. Even though the zombie was useless for the most part when it comes to grabbing live humans you knew the couple were dead meat when it comes to the rest of them. Out of the corner of my eye I saw other zombies come into view. It didn’t take long for the couple to be surrounded.

“Run!” yelled the guy.

The couple started running but didn’t get far when the woman tripped and went down. She screamed for her significant other but it was too late. The zombies were on her. The guy looked back for a moment then ran off. To me it almost seemed like the zombies set the entire thing up. But, that is hard to believe since zombies supposedly have no intelligence. Who knows? I walked on knowing one day this was going to happen to me. I just didn’t know it would be so soon.  

A week later it did happen. I carried around a Uzi just in case I had to waste some zombies. Nowadays, any kind of weapon is practically given away for free to take care of those pesky zombies. It was stressed to everyone still alive that once you show any of them recognition all of them are after you. Even, if you blow away all of them in sight you are now a target for everyone undead roaming this miserable planet. Your brains are now on the wanted poster. 

Anyway, one day as I walked down the street I saw something that made me want to throw up. Two zombies about twenty feet in front of me were chomping on a little child. Now, I know since these zombies have been around they have munched on quite a few kids but to actually see it happen made me want to puke. It made me mad. I had enough of this crap, and couldn’t take it anymore. These zombies needed to be stopped before they completely take over. I took out my Uzi and pointed it at the zombies.

“Hey!” I yelled at them. “You ugly bastards!”

Both of them looked up at me. One an old man the other a girl in her twenties. The old man you could tell was one of the originals. Most of the skin on his face was gone. The girl was new and she had quite a few bite marks on her body. A big chunk was missing from her skull. They both growled at me and slowly rose having a hard time of doing so with missing or partial parts. Nothing is functioning the way they should inside those rotting bodies. Not only is the skin rotting but also everything inside.

They both started limping toward me. Arms with bony fingers reaching out for me. Both were making unintelligent noises. I suppose the brains rotted away too. Well, now I have what you would say stuck my nose into a life changing event. Now I’ll have to run until they either get me or every zombie is taken out. I knew these two zombies weren’t going to be the ones to take me down.

“Good-bye meat.”

I fired at their faces, taking both of them down. But, as I predicted more came. I started firing away as I ran down the street. I’m glad I brought a couple of extra clips since there were quite a few of them. I kept on shooting and shooting. Soon all lay there with splattered brains. I quickly ran out of there.

Fast forward five years later and I still stand here looking at another zombie I have taken down. Another zombie out of hundreds or is it in the thousands. What a life. Will, time to stop chatting and move on before the zombies discover me. It will end one day, but I might be the only one left. Heaven help us.



The End


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51 comments

17:49 Sep 21, 2020

Great job! I like this story.

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Corey Melin
18:47 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you!

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19:07 Sep 21, 2020

Of course!

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Wow, the imagery is great and the onomatopoeia in the second sentence is spot-on! Nice! I love how the MC cheers when she hits the zombie between the eyes, it's pretty funny. Amazing job! ;)

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Corey Melin
13:57 Oct 02, 2020

Thank you for the comments!

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Could you check out my new story and comment what you think? :P

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Corey Melin
02:05 Oct 03, 2020

Done!

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Kaitlyn James
12:48 Oct 14, 2020

Great job! I like how detailed it was. I also like the first paragraph, it kind of caught me off guard. You know, cause I didn’t read the title and I thought you were killing people and now you liked it. That was funny. Anyway, great job on this story I like the plot.

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Corey Melin
04:57 Oct 15, 2020

Thank you for the comments!

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Gip Roberts
20:54 Oct 08, 2020

"Your brains are now on the wanted poster." I loved the comic relief in that choice of words. I'm always delighted to see unique ways of putting things in a story.

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Cynthia Scott
00:23 Oct 07, 2020

Your story was unique and interesting!! I enjoyed it so much. 🙂I was wondering if you would mind taking a look at my story Twenty-seven" and if you like it perhaps give it a thumbs up and maybe a short comment?

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Corey Melin
01:10 Oct 07, 2020

Thank you for the comments and will check out yours

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17:49 Oct 06, 2020

I'm not a fan of zombie stories but I really enjoyed this one. The plot was very unique - who on earth would have thought zombies only go after people who DON't ignore them? I feel horrible for the main character. It must be hard knowing you are most likely going to be the last human remaining. Losing your friends, your family - ugh, what a life. Great work! ~Ria P.S. When is your bday? I'm trying to have all my Reedsy friends' bdays down...

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Corey Melin
20:23 Oct 06, 2020

Thank you for the comments, and I'm not much into horror like my younger days. This is actually a story I wrote years ago. I have probably around two hundred short stories I have written. Birthday is 7/17

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21:12 Oct 06, 2020

Oh, I see. LOL, same! Thank you! Happy super belated bday! :)

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Corey Melin
23:03 Oct 06, 2020

Thank you!

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22:38 Oct 04, 2020

I'm not much of a scary story guy but this is interesting. I'd read more if you have it. Robert

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Corey Melin
23:46 Oct 04, 2020

I just used the pro writing on this one and my oh my. Quite a few corrections to make. This is an older story I wrote years ago. Not too big on writing horror myself.

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23:58 Oct 04, 2020

Man I’m really hope you like it. Good luck! I found I have to reread my story once I’m done to make sure it still flows the way I want it too. Enjoy! Robert

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00:40 Oct 05, 2020

If you're interested in purchasing the program, I have a link for 20% off. https://prowritingaid.com/en/App/Purchase?afid=9573&vc=AIUGPJIBBF Robert

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Rayhan Hidayat
19:18 Sep 29, 2020

I’m bored so here I am checking out your profile 🙂 I love the lone-wolf vibe of the narrator, we can tell he’s a badass because of how long he’s survived but the fact that he’s kinda growing tired of killing gives him a tender spot. And the twist on zombies only attacking if you notice them is really fun—I thought you could incorporate some kind of analogy for racism or something in there, but I get that most zombie stories keep things simple. Awesome job as always. Stay awesome! 😙

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Corey Melin
22:36 Sep 29, 2020

Thank you for the comments. This one I wrote quite awhile ago on a boring day so I didn't put much thought into it. Being a zombie story I figure it's a topic with little use of the brains. :)

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John Del rio
14:56 Sep 29, 2020

Well written. I always enjoy a good zombie tale. I didn’t catch any errors on a quick read through, but will read again to see if I notice anything amiss. The story itself was a nice take on the Z genre. Interesting twist that if you ignore them, they ignore you. I also like that the protagonist questions his liking of the extermination of the Zs. I will continue to enjoy your work if you continue to write. I will also have to go through and check out your other offerings.

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Corey Melin
16:00 Sep 29, 2020

I will also say we are similar when it comes to a veteran and into D & D back in the day. RPG's really expands the mind of imagination.

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John Del rio
19:52 Sep 29, 2020

I had many a good time with a variety of RPGs, though my intro to RPGs was D&D back in the late 70’s

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Corey Melin
20:27 Sep 29, 2020

It was the eighties for me with numerous RPG's. D & D the most popular, but dabbled with Star Frontiers, Marvel, and some other lesser known ones.

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John Del rio
00:54 Sep 30, 2020

i played a bit of Star Frontiers as well. do you recall Traveler or Call of Cthullhu, and there was horror based RPG called Chill that was neat.

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Corey Melin
01:06 Sep 30, 2020

I remember Traveller but never played. Played Call of Cthulhu a few times. A rememberable death. A fellow player bit me to death

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John Del rio
19:54 Sep 29, 2020

The problem with head shots is that they are head shots. Smaller target and what not. I was always taught to shoot center of mass...but of course that’s not effective against the walking dead

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Corey Melin
15:58 Sep 29, 2020

Greatly enjoy your feedback. I'm pondering on writing a story this week on the prompts listed. Sometimes even when it comes to writing I need to take a break, but not often.

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Barbara Eustace
15:04 Sep 28, 2020

Makes Covid-19 look like a cute puppy, doesn't it? Good story. And I hope your hero finds a few more people somewhere.

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Corey Melin
18:14 Sep 28, 2020

Thank you for the comments! The way this world is going someone will bring up some kind of virus to turn people into mindless robots. Oh wait. I believe that is going on now. :)

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Kristin Neubauer
16:56 Sep 26, 2020

Great story, Corey! Your language, description was so vivid and so authentic through this. I loved: "He went down with a thunk and a dash of splat. " and also at the end "Good-bye, meat." Well done!

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Corey Melin
17:06 Sep 26, 2020

Greatly appreciate the comments. I will be honest and say I didn’t put a lot of thought into this one when I wrote it many years ago. Figure it will be a typical zombie story. Just like the corny zombie flicks. Thank you!

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Millie Spence
01:52 Sep 26, 2020

This was really good. I liked that it was short and snappy. this was a very enjoyable read :)

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Charles Stucker
02:05 Sep 25, 2020

"The scary thing is once they were munched or even nibbled by a zombie they become one." What is the base sentence? "They became one." One substitutes for "a zombie." This will help you punctuate. The sentence breaks into phrases, "The scary thing is", "Once they were munched by a zombie", "or even nibbled". Having identified all those subordinate clauses, you need to put commas around them. Then you end up with, "The scary thing is, once they were munched, or even nibbled, by a zombie, they become one." Now you can decide if this is just t...

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Corey Melin
02:47 Sep 25, 2020

I can see the difference from one of my older stories (this one) compared to new ones I just wrote. I thank you for the comments for it tells me how much I have improved. Not perfect, but better. Thanks!

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20:33 Sep 22, 2020

Interesting twist, the attention thing. I think you could expand on that as a metaphor for real world circumstances in lots of interesting ways, which is what zombie stories are best for.

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Corey Melin
21:57 Sep 22, 2020

With time constraints and word constraints sometimes it's difficult to expand on a story. On many of these stories I know it could be so much longer. In fact, I did such a thing for Argonaut, but that is even tough since you need to right prompts to move on.

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Aqsa Malik
16:46 Sep 21, 2020

Hey Corey :D I really liked the unique concept you've introduced with such an overdone concept. The zombies only coming after you if you didn't ignore them was so original, and I think that would be something so refreshing as a novel instead of the usual! I really liked the line "people to start getting munched on..." I thought that your use of the word 'munched' in such a nonchalant manner was hilarious haha. There were a few grammatical and structural errors that I'll point out: -'Down with a thunk with a splash...' the repeate...

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Corey Melin
18:47 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you for the comments. I went in and made some changes. Then tenses should run as present, past, present. I made some minor changes to hopefully help the readers.

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11:41 Sep 21, 2020

“down with a think down with a splash” this sentence tripped my brain a little. Maybe it’s just me though. Maybe try rewording “Will, before I begin...” I think you mean well? “If you are faint of heart you should stop reading” I would get rid of the first part of the sentence “Once they munched or nibbled ...” I think you need to say once they munched or nibbled on a person... or something like that “These zombies need to be stopped” I think needed would work better That’s just my opinion, it may not even be correct lol. ...

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Corey Melin
18:12 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you for the comments. It doesn't matter how much I revise, I don't catch all of the errors. Glad I have Reedsy. The first one you have "think" when it states "thunk" so i can see why it seems trippy. I did make changes on most of the other recommendations so appreciate it.

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06:19 Sep 21, 2020

Hey, Corey would be kind to watch the first video it's on Harry potter. https://youtu.be/KxfnREWgN14 Sorry for asking your time, I would ready your story

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Scout Tahoe
03:48 Sep 21, 2020

Hey Corey, I really liked this story. It was thrilling and entertaining and kept me wanting to read more. Honestly, I didn't think there was much of a plot, but it was still very fun to read. There were no grammatical errors or spacing errors, so very nice job. And regardless of whatever negative things I wrote, I think it has potential with the brilliant setting.

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Corey Melin
04:00 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you for the comments. I tried to make the plot non-existent or minimal since most zombie flicks have simple plots.

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Scout Tahoe
04:15 Sep 21, 2020

Yes, I understand. It worked! Great job.

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Andrew Krey
23:08 Oct 20, 2020

I liked your story, and liked your 'all or nothing' take in zombie attacks. It feels like a great start for a story about saving the world!

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Hriday Saboo
10:56 Oct 08, 2020

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey coreeeeyyyyy. When’s a new story coming out and would you mind chking out me new story

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