730 comments

Sep 19, 2020

Fantasy Mystery

That day, my friend was sucked into the ground. I didn’t know when I would go in. The scientists and police officers came to the site.

They took samples of the ground to check what had caused it. I knew the reason but they didn’t know the seriousness of the issue that was going to happen. I was sad as well as happy.

The ground was barren. No trees and no water. It had been years since it had rained. The pale looking scientist with his glasses slowly rubbed on the floor and said, “This is not normal.” The commissioner looked at the large hole through which my friend disappeared.

“Yeah,” he said with concern.

It was all because of a man who had brown hair and curly black hair. He was an ox of a man. He worked so hard to save the trees.

*****

Meanwhile, the weather commission was called for. There wasn’t any weather change anyways.

They scanned the underground with their underground scanners. But, what they saw was unbelievable. A man, raging with fire, was sitting on a throne made up of twigs. I wondered how the twigs were not burned, because he was covered in fire.

“What is this, commissioner?” the scientist asked.

“I wanted to ask you that,” the commissioner replied, rubbing his head in confusion.

“Let’s go and check out,” another blond police officer whispered to the commissioner.

The miners were called and in minutes a large hole was dug. The police officers put on their headlights and went in. They had never been to a place like that.

Then too it was unlikely that anyone would go underground. The next second I was sucked in. I thought I was destined to see those events. I didn’t know who was going to come next.

*****

The man spent all the time talking with me about the effects of deforestation and asked all humans to stop cutting trees. But, nobody listened to him. Now, they are going to suffer under him.

*****

I was happy to see all my friends standing in a row. However, the fact I was stuck in the mud dimmed any joy I felt initially at the sight of my friends. The police slowly glided through the mud and followed the compass. Finally, they saw him, face to face. Most of the police officers ran away and some trembled with fear.

“Why did you come here?” He shouted.

“Who are you? And why are you causing trouble in our world?”the commissioner shouted. The fire headed man threw a fireball at the commissioner, which he dodged.

“I am the only one who can shout here. So, if you raise your voice, I will make you like a roasted chicken,” he said, standing up from his seat.

“Okay, sir.” Even the commissioner was afraid of him.

The fire headed man, named Flak, was a guy from Dragon planet.

*****

The man was unbreakable. He wanted to save my race. We were close to extinction. He planted trees everywhere. But, every time he planted, they cut it.

Now, he is dead, only for our sake.

*****

Dragon planet was already in pieces and thank god that this guy was here. We trees didn’t want to fight with humans, but, Flak was the one who said that all trees will come underground and be underground.

“How many trees did you plant yesterday?” Flak asked. The commissioner didn’t answer.

“Answer,” Flak hollered.

“Zero,” the commissioner replied, hanging his head down.

“How many did you cut yesterday?”

“Five.”

“Okay, I will do the same thing with you. I will kill five humans daily. Is that okay for you?”

“No,” the commissioner said and took out his gun.

“Sir, your weapons don‘t do anything to me.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, I am gonna shoot the trees,” he said, pointing the gun towards me. I cannot move, I couldn’t talk. So, it was up to Flak.

“No, stop. Don’t do that,” Flak said. I bet that he was not afraid.

“Then listen to me. Pack up all your trees and come to the above world,” the commissioner said.

Then, Flak started laughing. “Then you will use them for your sake.”

*****

The man never wished anything for himself. His only wish was that our race should not get extinct. I really loved him. Though I couldn’t talk, he was my best friend. I gave him shade and he gave me water and food. I was stupefied when I knew he was killed.

*****

“What’s the matter about that? They are born for our use,” the commissioner said which angered Flak very much. What he did was really wonderful.

He gave life to every tree over there and I was able to talk.

“How could you use us?” a tree asked.

“We are already on the verge of extinction,” another tree said.

I didn’t know what to say. So, I remained quiet. Then I realised. I could move. I moved towards the commissioner, who still had the gun in his hands and whispered, “Flak has completely no mercy. Go up and start planting your trees.”

“Will you guys come up?” he whispered to me.

“We work under his orders,” I replied.

But, this time Flak heard it.

“Hey, Greens. Come here,” he said. I moved my roots in the direction he was standing.

“Yes, master,” I said.

“I think from now on, you should lead this pack,” Flak said. I was rejoiced. He never lies.

“But, why? We love you so much,” I said.

“The dragon warrior has called me. He is expecting something big to come,” Flak said.

The dragon warrior, he is another guy from dragon planet. He has a key chain which can change into anything. I thought he was forming a team. After some time, everybody grew quiet.

*****

The man was shot dead right in front of me. They were rogues. But, I was sure that they were sent by someone. And all these things are happening for him. My friend never wanted didn’t revenge.a

*****

The commissioner immediately called the media. He gave a talk to them.

“From today onwards, everyone should plant a tree every day,” the commissioner said in between the camera flashes.

“But, why, sir?” a guy asked.

“We have cut trees and they are on the verge of extinction. We are having no rainy season because we don’t have trees. Global warming is also increasing,” the commissioner said and got into his car. He waved me a goodbye and I waved too, and the press couldn’t believe what they saw. So, I acted in front of them. Then I was sucked underground again.

It was the first death anniversary of my friend and the hardworking man.

So, they chose that day for my coronation. The crown was made of twigs. It was the best honour I could get.

*****

Now, if he was present, he would have been the happiest man in the world and hugged me tightly. Oh, how I loved his company! But, this was my time to save the trees and make up for his sacrifice. Flak was the man’s friend and he offered to help.

*****

I prayed that my head wouldn’t catch fire and it didn’t. Flak gave me a slight smile and that was the first time I have seen him smile. Suddenly, he fainted and some other guys with police uniforms came.

I couldn’t bear it and wanted to fight them.

“Uh uh,” the police officer said, taunting me. He was a handsome guy. But, it didn’t matter.

They caged Flak and lifted him. They approached their car and threw the cage on the front seat. I wanted to see him smile again. We were standing helpless.

They had arrested him for completely no reason.









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730 comments

Amazing story. Loved your ending :)

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The Cold Ice
05:53 Nov 21, 2020

Thanks

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06:21 Dec 03, 2020

I’m here

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The Cold Ice
06:24 Dec 03, 2020

Hi

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Devaki 🎉
06:42 Jan 24, 2021

Awesome story, I loved how you started and ended your story. Also, can you please take a look at my story? I am looking for some feedback so I can grow as a writer.

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The Cold Ice
02:53 Jan 25, 2021

Ok. I have exams. Thanks . So I will read it later.

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Devaki 🎉
12:47 Jan 25, 2021

Okay! Good luck with your exams!

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The Cold Ice
17:47 Jan 25, 2021

Yes. Ok thanks.

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Devaki 🎉
18:15 Jan 25, 2021

You're welcome!

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Devaki 🎉
12:47 Jan 25, 2021

Okay! Good luck with your exams!

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The Cold Ice
17:47 Jan 25, 2021

Thank you

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Great story!! I love your style of writing! :)

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The Cold Ice
02:42 Oct 18, 2020

Thanks.I am glad you like my writing style.

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Hriday Saboo
13:45 Sep 20, 2020

Cool story and the tree was awesome. Would you mind checking out my new story the zombies

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The Cold Ice
14:42 Sep 20, 2020

Thanks.I will check out your story.I am little busy now.

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Hriday Saboo
14:43 Sep 20, 2020

No problem

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The Cold Ice
14:44 Sep 20, 2020

Ok.

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06:11 Sep 19, 2020

Wow! Cool story! The twist if the main character being a tree was so unexpected! Great job!

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The Cold Ice
06:54 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks.

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Clara D Berry
22:15 Sep 22, 2020

Hi Sahitthian! I really enjoyed this story. I like the style you chose here, with the little flashbacks in italics. I also really like how your main character is a tree, but that isn't revealed right away. The title is really clever as well. Some parts were a little confusing to me. Who died, and who killed him? It was a man, I know, from Dragon planet, but at first I thought it was Flak and then later you say "Flak was the man’s friend and he offered to help," so it can't be Flak who died. Is something bad going to happen because Flak was ...

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The Cold Ice
03:31 Sep 23, 2020

Glad you enjoyed my story. The title was given by Charles Stucker. Thank you. That is left alone like that. It isn’t important. But, I already said that he was killed by rogues from the government. Yeah, something is going to happen on Earth. And that question is a spoiler. I have a twist in that. Okay, thank you for understanding. Thank you for the high praise.

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Clara D Berry
03:53 Sep 23, 2020

You're welcome. Ah. Yes, Charles has helped me as well. I completely changed my first story after he commented on it. No spoilers, please. I'm glad to hear that my questions will be answered in a future story. I'll wait for it...maybe not so patiently, but I don't like spoilers. Thank you for asking about that rather than answering my question.

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The Cold Ice
04:10 Sep 23, 2020

Hey Clara Yeah, he is the critique king. Okay, I am not giving out any spoilers. Thank you for reading. You have helped me a lot. Awaiting your help in future. But, I don’t think I will write till 64. Okay, bye. Keerththan Charles has helped me as well. He is wonderful. I am surprised that he corrected you. But, the first story was wonderful too. His next story will answer yours. He is going to write in 64th contest. Welcome. I think about twice answering a spoiler. And I won’t give out any spoilers.

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Clara D Berry
04:24 Sep 23, 2020

Sahitthian - okay, I'll wait :( Keerththan - Charles didn't correct my grammar. He told me that my story could use more show and less tell. The original story was basically all infodump, without dialogue or scenes. That's just the way it came out the first time. It was okay then, but I like it much better the way it is now. Every writer can use critique somewhere, and Charles is good at finding that somewhere and giving helpful critique. For me it is easier to critique grammar, so I look for authors who can use help in that area, but he fin...

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The Cold Ice
04:34 Sep 23, 2020

Sahitthian- Don’t feel sad. I currently have no ideas for the story. Keerththan-I didn’t say he corrected your grammar. He has corrected you in some way.(Okay, I confused myself, 😂) I am like that even now. I don’t understand how to show. Maybe I need a class. 😂 But, I certainly love dialogues. All of them say it is stiff. But, I didn’t understand what they mean. Now only do I know what that meant. Yeah, he found out what I had and what I should improve. Yeah, you both are equally helpful. Wonderful website this is. Wonder why I found...

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Keerththan 😀
03:27 Sep 23, 2020

Keerththan - Even my brother doesn't know who killed that man🤣🤣 Would you want a spoiler for that story???🤣🤣🤣 You have asked a question that is totally correct.

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Yuk Yuk
20:44 Dec 08, 2020

Hey. Can you please cast an eye over my work please. I'd really appreciate it.

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Clara D Berry
05:43 Dec 10, 2020

I just "cast an eye" over your work as you requested. I'm sorry, but I do not have time for in depth critique right now and can't promise to have time within the next year. I joined Reedsy in the summer when I had time for it and then my life got really busy so I'm not so active anymore. I really like your profile picture and I totally get doing things while sleeping and then waking up to find lots of errors. I do most things while sleeping these days.

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Yuk Yuk
13:02 Dec 10, 2020

Oh it's ok. Thank you very much. I appreciate the effort. I'm suprised you were able to read the profile picture.

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15:32 Sep 19, 2020

The story was written with good imagination . Waiting foe more...

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The Cold Ice
15:33 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!

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Ryan Lieb
14:50 Sep 20, 2020

Nice job! I like that it's from the perspective of a tree, and that it isn't revealed right away. Also happy to see a young person such as yourself writing about the environment. Nice tie in to your dragon warrior universe. A couple lines you could clean up: "A man, raging with fire, was sitting on a throne made up of twigs. I wondered how the twigs were not burned, because he was covered in fire." This sentence is redundant, you can take out "because he was covered in fire." "My friend never wanted didn’t revenge.a" Not sure what's g...

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The Cold Ice
04:17 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you. I don’t have time to edit😬😬😪 Yeah, that’s a mistake. Thank you for reading.

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Charles Stucker
06:36 Sep 19, 2020

"A man, raging with fire, was sitting on a throne made up of twigs. I wondered how the twigs were not burned in his fiery head." Did you mean crown instead of throne, or did you want to mention a crown in the second sentence? It's odd how his head would burn up his chair (throne). "I betted that he was not afraid." bet- bet is a irregular English verb which is unchanged for past tense. whispered,” Flak has -change to- whispered, "Flak has You are getting really good at telling a story in scenes. A for the little English language i...

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The Cold Ice
06:53 Sep 19, 2020

I have changed everything. Thank you. Do you have any title suggestions?

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Charles Stucker
07:19 Sep 19, 2020

"Leaf Me Alone" comes to mind. Or, "All Bark and No Bite" because trees have bark, but they have no teeth. Or maybe the best would be "Root and Branch" which indicates all of some group and serves as a signal that the trees are both central to teh tale and in peril of being eliminated in vast swaths of the world. It's a serious tale and the last is more serious than the others.

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The Cold Ice
07:26 Sep 19, 2020

Leaf me alone is good so I changed it.Veeeeeeeeeeeeery very thanks for telling.

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Yuk Yuk
20:34 Dec 08, 2020

Can you please check out some of my stories too. I would really appreciate the feedback.

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06:10 Sep 19, 2020

-That day, my friend was just sucked into the ground. ~ I would leave out the 'just.' To create more of an impact, use stronger words. -I knew the reason but, they didn’t know the seriousness of the issue that was going to happen. ~ There should not be a comma after the 'but.' -The pale looking scientist with his glasses slowly rubbed on the floor and said,” This is not normal.” The commissioner looked at the large hole in which my friend was sucked in. ~ The quotation marks are misplaced. I would also change the wording of the second sent...

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The Cold Ice
06:50 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks for telling mistakes.Please read my story “The dragon warrior part 2.”(would you mind liking my story)

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Danny ~
00:19 Feb 13, 2021

hey, new thread? :))

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The Cold Ice
02:17 Feb 14, 2021

Ok that’s nice I was also thinking it,

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Danny ~
02:23 Feb 14, 2021

How are you? :))

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The Cold Ice
02:39 Feb 14, 2021

I am fine how see you

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Danny ~
02:42 Feb 14, 2021

I'm great :))

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The Cold Ice
02:53 Feb 14, 2021

Nice. What are you doing

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Danny ~
02:34 Feb 19, 2021

:DD l'm replying here cause the thread's too long XDD

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The Cold Ice
02:51 Feb 19, 2021

Ok. Nice idea,but I didn’t think.

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Danny ~
05:40 Feb 19, 2021

lol XDD

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The Cold Ice
16:29 Feb 19, 2021

😂 haha how are you.

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Hi! I read in your bio that you got downvoted +3000 points. Uhg! spam this comment a bunch so i can upvote you!

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The Cold Ice
04:35 Jan 07, 2021

Yes. Ok

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comment a bunch here! if you come straight from notifications, you just press 'reply' a bunch and it will post a bunch 😀

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The Cold Ice
02:54 Jan 08, 2021

Ok

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The Cold Ice
02:54 Jan 08, 2021

Ok

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The Cold Ice
02:54 Jan 08, 2021

Ok

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16:36 Dec 13, 2020

The premise is good. The writing feels sort of flat and plain - I think because the characters don't seem to have much of an emotional reaction to events.

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The Cold Ice
18:27 Dec 13, 2020

Thank you so much.(please like my story)

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Cassandra Dennis
19:26 Dec 12, 2020

I enjoyed the build up in your story and how you expressed each characters point of view.

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The Cold Ice
03:50 Dec 13, 2020

Thank you (please like my story)

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14:43 Dec 12, 2020

WOW! This is beautiful. It truly tells the story of global warming. Plus, Flak the tree man lets humans cut down five trees, who are his people, but the humans won't let him kill five of them. Truth...

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The Cold Ice
15:27 Dec 12, 2020

Thanks

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Gip Roberts
21:17 Dec 09, 2020

This is an interesting style. Good personification (I think that's the word for giving human attributes to non-human things), and good message about the environment as well.

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The Cold Ice
01:25 Dec 10, 2020

Wow thanks.( please like my story)

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Gip Roberts
22:30 Dec 10, 2020

I did. I double-checked to make sure and it shows thumbs-up highlighted in blue. I'd like it twice if I could.

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The Cold Ice
03:05 Dec 11, 2020

Ok thanks

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18:12 Dec 09, 2020

THE ENDING. That was so good! Loved reading it! Also, the title was clever :D

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The Cold Ice
18:16 Dec 09, 2020

Umm we Can became friends

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18:33 Dec 09, 2020

Ok sure!

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The Cold Ice
04:54 Jan 26, 2021

Hello

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15:41 Jan 26, 2021

hello!

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The Cold Ice
17:22 Jan 26, 2021

Wyd

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The Cold Ice
18:16 Dec 09, 2020

Thank you so much

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15:46 Dec 10, 2020

Oh that's ok! How are you doing?

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The Cold Ice
04:54 Jan 26, 2021

Doing nice

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15:40 Jan 26, 2021

Great!

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The Cold Ice
17:22 Jan 26, 2021

Yes. How are you.

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Priyanka Choubey
16:30 Dec 09, 2020

I like the way you present the story!! nice story line. would you mind to read and comment my stories?

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The Cold Ice
16:42 Dec 09, 2020

Thank you.sure

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Amy Darst
23:32 Dec 08, 2020

First off I would like to say, I really like the title to your story! I got a little lost at first but I found my way back. I like that you have some flashbacks in the story as well. Overall GREAT JOB!

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The Cold Ice
04:22 Dec 09, 2020

Thank you so much .Please like my story.

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Yuk Yuk
20:46 Dec 08, 2020

It's a unique story, really creative. I so was not expecting that the narrator would be a tree. Beautiful concept. #savethetrees #stopglobalwarming. There are a few grammatical mistakes but I understand. And yes I was confused as to how he died and all. But you explained it in the comments. Because when I was reading, I was like "oh wait, he's dying. When? How?" I had to re-read because I thought I skipped something. I personally feel it needed more showing. I personally don't like long descriptions but I felt this needed a little ...

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The Cold Ice
04:21 Dec 09, 2020

Thank you. I will work on it . Thank you.ok. Keep writing.take care(please like my story.

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