Sep 12, 2020

Kids Mystery

Authors Note: This is one of the presents I am giving to my almost 5-year-old brother. His birthday is on September 14th. Just a heads up, this story is not true in case you didn’t already know. So happy birthday Joe!!!!


“Yes, I understand he is talented but can he attend this school?”

“Ms. Roberts I can assure you that my son is a very talented young boy. He has never received a grade lower than an ‘A’ in his life! He is also a talented athlete and musician. He does it all!” Mrs. Tate said convincingly.

Joseph Tate is a talented young boy. He was thirteen years old and already a better basketball player than LeBron James. His mother was trying to get him into the best school in the world. But as you could imagine it was really hard to get into.

Joe had applied last year but they denied his application. He had worked harder and harder each month trying to get in. He could play the piano like Mozart, and he knew every country, state, and provinces in the world. But yet there were students attending Bridgewater school considered as more intelligent.

The principal of the school (Ms. Roberts) had put Joe on the waiting list until further notice. She told us a lot of people couldn’t take the pressure of the school and dropped out. That was good news for Joe because he was first on the waiting list. 

Today they were visiting the school to make sure it was the right fit. They had always assumed it would be perfect and never went to visit. 

“So this is our science room. I was told Joe was very good at this subject.” She turned her head to look at Joe.

“Um...Yeah. I love all subjects.” He looked down at his shoes and kept walking.

“What he means is, he’s good at all the subjects.” Mrs. Tate said with a laugh. Joe was a smart kid but he never intended to go to a kind of school like this. He wanted to be a normal kid.


***


“Joe!!!! Guess what, guess what, guess what?!” Mrs. Tate yelled from upstairs.

“What?” Joe asked softly.

“Some kid got kicked off the school list because he lied on his application. I guess his mom just really wanted him to go there. I just don’t get what kind of parents would do that!”

“Yeah, I wonder.” He muttered.

“Aren’t you excited? Oh, we need to get some proper school clothes for you. You need to look like a nerd!!” She said excitedly. 

Joe nodded and walked upstairs.

***


It was the first day of school and Mrs. Tate had picked out the perfect outfit for Joe to wear. Joe put on his outfit fast, even though he didn’t want to go he never liked to be late.

They got in the car and started to drive there. Joe’s bag had to be enormous. The school sent out an email saying all the supplies you would be needing. It was much more than his former school had asked for.

Once they got there Joe got out slowly and said goodbye to his mom. The school was located in Ulm, Germany. But since Joe and his family lived in California they attended the same school but in a different place. They decided to make more of the Bridgewater schools because they realized not everyone could fly to Germany every day.  

Joe assumed the school would be much easier than everyone made it seem, even if it was the best school in the world. 

Once he walked into the school he saw what he least expected. It looked like people were flying. But when he looked closer he saw they were standing on drones. A girl jumped off her drone and walked over to him.

“Hey, are you new here?”

Joe replied with a simple yes and continued to look around. “You're going to love it here. Did you know one of the founding fathers of our school was Albert Einstein? I guess that’s one of the reasons we have a reputation for being super smart.” She paused to look at Joe. Joe didn’t answer, he was too amazed by the drone technology.

“Oh, the drones! Do you like them? I designed the blueprints for them. Sally over there put them together. I’m Rachel by the way,” She said, sticking out her hand. Joe shook it and looked up at Rachel.

“I’m Joe,” He said simply.

“Your Joe? I’ve heard lots about you! You are supposed to be smart, huh? What’s 10 × 4 - 2 × (16 ÷ 4) ÷ 2 ÷ 1/2 + 9? Don’t think, just answer.”

“I don’t know, 22.5?” Joe said unsure of himself.

“You don't know? It’s worse to answer and say you're unsure than to not answer and really know the correct answer.”

“What?” Joe asked.

“I’m saying...You know what never mind. Here I’ll show you to your first class.” She walked in front of Joe while he followed. While they were walking through the hallways Joe saw many different inventions students had made. This school was nothing like he had ever seen before. 

He could have sworn he saw a saber-toothed tiger in the science lab. He almost asked about it, but he didn’t want to look dumb in front of Rachel.

“I saw your mouth open,” Rachel said, staring him down. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” He said looking away from her.

“You know it doesn’t make you dumb to ask a question.” She said turning away. Joe thought about that for a moment. He had heard that from numerous teachers before but there was something about Rachel that made it sound more true. 

“Are you in my first class?” Joe asked, trying to change the subject.

“Oh, no. I was told you needed to be taught about our school. You see we have made many different science inventions, unlocked many doors in the math program, and our sports teams have been playing phenomenally lately. Ms. Robert’s told me that you needed to be loosened up. That you need to be informed about nature.”

Joe didn’t know how to respond but he nodded. When Rachel stopped he almost bumped into her. “Here we are, just through those doors. Well, nice meeting you!” She walked back down the hallway and Joe opened the door. 

He couldn’t believe what he saw in the classroom and he was never able to describe it to anyone.





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252 comments

C.j 🤍
18:08 Sep 18, 2020

I just got downvoted by 40 points!!!! How do you downvote people?

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21:47 Dec 25, 2020

There are two arrows by a comment, more like triangles. One-step points up and the other points down. Clicking the down will downvote someone and clicking up will upvote someone. Boo downvoters! I'll upvote you to help out.

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C.j 🤍
22:30 Dec 26, 2020

Aww thanks

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22:31 Dec 26, 2020

You can un-downvote if you downvote someone, which I'm glad I leaned after accidentally downvoting someone who's stuff I liked. Just double-click the down arrow.

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Avery G.
22:40 Sep 16, 2020

OMG! You've been downvoted too?!?! Same here! I lost 100+ points today in a matter of hours!!!! It also happened to Vayd, Aerin, and countless others!!! I'll upvote you more

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:55 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you so much Avery!! I'll upvote you too. It's so annoying!! I hate when people do it.

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Avery G.
21:05 Sep 17, 2020

You're welcome!!!! I know right?!?! Thanks!!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:05 Sep 17, 2020

Sure, no problem!! I was literally at 1,900 and now I am way lower!!

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Avery G.
21:07 Sep 17, 2020

Whoa!!!!! CHILL, DOWNVOTER!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:07 Sep 17, 2020

Haha!! Seriously!!!!!! It's fine though, it's not about the points.

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Nunya Business
18:18 Sep 18, 2020

I also got down voted

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21:48 Dec 25, 2020

AAAAAH downvoting is the worst.

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21:48 Dec 25, 2020

But yeah, Reedy is about stories, not just points. But still, chill downvoter.

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00:46 Sep 16, 2020

Happy birthday to your brother! And great story!

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Evelyn ⭐️
11:16 Sep 16, 2020

Thank you so much!!

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C.j 🤍
18:07 Sep 18, 2020

I just got downvoted by 40 points!!!! How do you downvote people?

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I. F.
01:32 Sep 16, 2020

I really enjoyed this one, it was simple in the best way! The ending really makes me wonder what Joe saw. Way to go!

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Evelyn ⭐️
11:17 Sep 16, 2020

Thanks so much!

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Erick Morin
01:35 Sep 15, 2020

I liked the simplicity of the story. There is nothing bogging down the plot. You don't go too extra into the extraordinary things going on at the school. I felt you kept the story flowing well. The ending made me wonder what he saw, which is the point. I would like to know more about the school. It almost reminded me of Hogwarts, but instead of magic, it was science and technology.

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:08 Sep 15, 2020

Exactly!! I sorta got the idea form Hogwarts, I watched the movie last night!! Anyway thanks for reading.

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Erick Morin
01:12 Sep 16, 2020

Haha! Well, your welcome. I'll read some of your others when I get the chance.

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Charles Stucker
15:28 Sep 13, 2020

Good luck on your brother's birthday. I see a few punctuation errors, but nothing major. For something intended to brighten the day of a young boy, this seems like it should be either entertaining (if they see themselves in the shoes of Joe) or intimidating (if they see Joe as the standard they must meet) It seems about the right length, and the vocabulary is neither too extensive, nor insultingly babified. Is someone going to read this to him? Almost five means he should be starting kindergarten this year? Is he advanced and already in a...

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:05 Sep 13, 2020

Ha, thank you so much Charles. I think I will read it to him, he can read but probably not all of this. Mostly just small words. But he will be starting kindergarten in a week and hopefully learn some more reading!!

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C.j 🤍
18:35 Sep 18, 2020

Ok do you downvote people? So i know that I am not accidentally doing it

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Avery G.
19:01 Sep 16, 2020

😱😱😱 Your sister is having a zoom call with RICK RIORDAN???????? OMG!!!!!!! You live in massachusetts, right? I just realized he does too. I am just soooo jealous!!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:12 Sep 16, 2020

Yep, I live in Massachusetts!!! I am also super excited! My sister and I are prepping questions to ask him.

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Avery G.
22:15 Sep 16, 2020

Whoa, that's soooo cool!

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Keerththan 😀
22:51 Sep 18, 2020

Wow!!!!!

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21:49 Dec 25, 2020

WOOOOW!

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Clara d Berry
06:22 Sep 15, 2020

It's 47. In case anyone wanted to know. Nobody else commented on that, but that's the first place my brain went.

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:09 Sep 15, 2020

What's 47?

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Clara d Berry
02:54 Sep 16, 2020

10 × 4 - 2 × (16 ÷ 4) ÷ 2 ÷ 1/2 + 9

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Evelyn ⭐️
11:17 Sep 16, 2020

OO!! Great job solving it!

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Clara d Berry
17:02 Sep 16, 2020

Thanks

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C.j 🤍
02:11 Sep 15, 2020

Please read my new story:-)

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:08 Sep 15, 2020

Sure, no problem!

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Greg Gillis
21:34 Sep 14, 2020

Great story and I see you left it as a cliffhanger. I look forward to reading about Joe's further ventures.

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:56 Sep 14, 2020

Thanks for reading!!

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Nunya Business
20:52 Sep 14, 2020

Hi Evelyn great job happy birthday joe!!!!!! Will there be a part 2? I hope there will anyway like I said great job!!!!!!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:56 Sep 14, 2020

Thanks so much for reading!!

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Nunya Business
23:06 Sep 14, 2020

I just posted a new story would you mind reading it

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:07 Sep 15, 2020

Sure!!!!

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Keerththan 😀
17:54 Sep 13, 2020

Hey Evelyn Okay, first of all, happy birthday to Joe. This was wonderful. The technology is great. Really loved this one. Keep writing. And I need a part 2. I am curious about what he saw. (I found this story in the activity feed and touched it as fast as I can :) ) 1) “Oh, the drones! Do you like them? I designed the blueprints for them. Sally over there put them together. I’m Rachel by the way.” She said sticking out her hand. Inside the quotations it should be a comma. Because if the sentence is ending with said, asked, etc you shou...

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:08 Sep 13, 2020

Thanks for the feedback. Also thanks for the correction I'll go fix that, I totally forgot about that rule!!!

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Rhondalise Mitza
20:47 Sep 14, 2020

I write stories for friends and family's birthdays too! One of my favorite things in the world. :) Thank you so much for always reading my stories, it makes me smile that you enjoy reading them. And speaking of smiling, this story made me grin and laugh throughout it. You wrote a joyful story for a joyful occasion. :D Happy birthday to your brother, he's lucky to have such a sweet sister. I wrote a story called The Great Birthday Reunion for my brother's birthday if you want to swing by later. It's a personal favorite of mine just because it...

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:54 Sep 14, 2020

Aw thank you so much!! I would love to read that, I'll be right there!!

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21:50 Dec 25, 2020

I gave a story for a Christmas gift. :)

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Princemark Okibe
09:38 Sep 14, 2020

This is so nice. I like the motivation for your writing. The story is nice and evenly spaced throughout. Even though there was no conflict I noticed in the story (except a slight reluctance in Joe to go to his new school), it still managed to grip and hold my attention to the very end. I do have some questions and suggestions. 1. I feel that paragraph 17 was not properly expressed and did not get the idea across very well. This is [They got in the car and started to drive there. Joe’s bag had to be enormous. The school sent out an ema...

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Evelyn ⭐️
13:49 Sep 14, 2020

Thank you so much for your feedback! When I get the chance I will fix those errors!!

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00:43 Sep 14, 2020

Cool Story! It's so sweet how you made this for your brother! Also, I saw that in your bio you said your profile picture is of you at school? I'm 99% sure that's Kristina Pimenova. Cause I've seen her before. You shouldn't really say that's you if it isn't.

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Evelyn ⭐️
13:48 Sep 14, 2020

Thank you! Actually that is me! 😂People do tell me I look like her a lot.

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04:00 Sep 15, 2020

REALLY! So your saying you ARE Kristina Pimenova? WOAH

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B. W.
00:44 Sep 23, 2020

Hey, so you have seen "It has Begun" right? i may need help with the new characters

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21:46 Sep 22, 2020

Hey, upvote spree for upvote spree? Although, I mean, upvote my main account—Aerin. Lol, do you wanna?

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:48 Sep 22, 2020

Sure!! Id love to!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:48 Sep 22, 2020

And wait... your Aerin?

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21:50 Dec 25, 2020

I'll upvote too!

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Nunya Business
18:18 Sep 18, 2020

I got down voted by 30 points now I only have 18

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