The Savior (Part 2)

Submitted for Contest #58 in response to: Write about someone who purposefully causes a power outage.... view prompt

56 comments

Sep 07, 2020

Adventure Drama

Author's Note: I wasn’t originally going to make a sequel to this story but then I realized the prompts were flexible! So it all just kinda worked! Thanks for reading!

I couldn’t take all the guilt. I had lied to the whole world. People thought I was a hero when I was only a watcher. I needed to come clean to the public. I had become famous throughout the country for something I didn’t do. I was having trouble falling asleep at night and I was having terrible anxiety that someone would figure out who I really was. I was Nate Harrington after all, I didn’t lie.

***

I was going down to the studio where they were going to interview me. I have been on television almost every night now. I had moved out of my crappy house and into almost a mansion. People found out that I was living in a crumbling house in a terrible neighborhood and they decided to donate money to me. Soon it started piling up, and I became rich.

My plan was to give it all back once I came clean. I wasn’t going to keep a big secret like this forever. I wore my fanciest shirt with some sleek black pants. I put on my navy tie and hopped in my car.

I pulled out of my driveway and headed for the studio. Once I got there I got pulled in abruptly. “You're late!” My manager yelled at me. 

“I’m here though,” I said impatiently. I walked into the building and did as the people instructed me to. The makeup people came over and applied a light coat of blush over my cheeks. They fixed my curly hair out of my eyes and I sat up straighter. 

We were on the air in no time and the host started. “Hi, America! I’m Tim Nickelson and you're watching “We Are The Talkshow’. Or just call us W.A.T.T. Today I’m here with a special guest, Nate Harrington. Now Nate told my crew that he has something special to discuss with us. Now spill your guts,” He let out a chuckle. 

“Yes, Tim! That’s correct. I have some very deep secret that is killing me. I have to tell the public.” I paused for effect. Tim let out a loud ooo. I nodded deeply and then continued. 

“You see, I did something I shouldn’t have.” I paused once again when my throat went dry.

“It’s alright Nate! We’re all family here! No one will judge you!” Tim said through a fake smile.

I opened my mouth but before anything came out I darted off stage. I was too afraid of what people would think of me. They would call me a liar or a terrible person, and I knew it was true. 

I ran to the elevator but realized the crew was chasing after me. I ran into a small closet with a bunch of switches. I switched all of them off in the hope they wouldn’t find me in the dark. Underneath one of the switches, it said ‘all power’. I turned the switch off and all the lights went out. I heard some people scream and run.

I had caused a distraction, now I just had to escape. I opened the door slowly but that was clearly a mistake. The door squeaked very loudly and footsteps came closer to me. I tried to move but I couldn’t see anything. Suddenly I felt a hand on my back. Then a soft voice that spoke. “I know your secret.” The voice was gone as soon as it appeared. 

I put my hands out in the hope to find a wall. I found the door to the closet once again and turned the power switch back on. I made a run for it. The cameraman instantly saw me and ran after me.

Unfortunately I wasn’t fast. The cameraman had long legs and was very tall. He came sprinting at me and I knew I had lost. I came to a sudden stop and put my hands up. 

“What’s going on Nate?” Tim said as he came running down the hallway.

“Okay, I’m just gonna say it. I can’t live with the lie!” When no one responded I kept going. “I never saved a little girl. I lied. An old man jumped in front of her and was killed. I didn’t know what to tell you so I just said that I saved her.”

Everyone surrounding me looked at me in disbelief. Then Tim started laughing as if I had made the funniest joke ever. When I didn’t start laughing he stopped and looked at me more seriously. His smile turned to a frown and then he called security. I was lifted off my feet and placed outside the building. I could feel the wrinkles forming in my clothes.

So much for telling the truth. I got back in my car and drove home. I sat on my couch and turned on the television. Tim was talking about how I had lied and how I was such a terrible person. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it.

It was my old neighbor. The one who called me famous. She looked hurt and sad. Seeing her face made me feel mad at myself. “You lied!” She said. She didn’t sound mad, just sad. Those two words were enough to hurt me very much. She left, I guess she said what she needed to say. 

***

A week later, I was still at home. I hadn’t left once since the incident. I was miserable. I never should have told the lie in the first place. I went back to my couch and lied down. Once again I turned on the television. It was me, again. This time it was good news. A tall blond woman with glasses was talking. “Did Mr. Harrington tell a lie? Well, yes! But we all tell lies sometimes. If we didn’t forgive a small lie, where would we be? And yes, this was a big lie, but that doesn’t mean Nate is any less of a man. I think we should be honoring Mr. Harrington! He told us the truth after all. It takes some guts to do that.” She paused to lift up her glasses. “Now does America agree? That’s a tough call, it’s up to you.”

She smiled and left the scene. Tim appeared once again. I had grown to not like that man very much. He always wore a fake smile and tacky ties.

“In that case, I say I forgive him. In a way he is more of a savior now than he was before,” He laughed, “No, I’m just kidding!” Though I didn’t find it funny.

I heard another knock at the door. I was afraid to answer it but I did so anyway. It was my old neighbor again. I opened my mouth to try to apologize but before I could say anything she reached out and gave me a hug. I hugged her back, knowing my pain had vanished.

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56 comments

Amany Sayed
20:55 Sep 07, 2020

Just read both parts of this. Very interesting! Also well written. You do a lot of telling rather than showing though. For example: "Tim was talking about how I had lied and how I was such a terrible person. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it." Here, make the actual talking of the TV. You make it all go a little fast. That's my only critique! Keep writing! Also, love the ending.

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:00 Sep 07, 2020

Thanks so much for the advice! Also thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed.

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Amany Sayed
21:03 Sep 07, 2020

Any time! :D

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:07 Sep 07, 2020

😄

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19:33 Sep 07, 2020

Hi, Evelyn! Awwww, the ending made me smile. The way that Nate was able to confess to the entire country that it was really the old man that saved the little girl was beautiful. Also, Nate's old neighbor seems like an amazing woman. You did a fantastical job! Keep writing and stay healthy, Your Reedsy Friend & Fan - Brooke D.

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Evelyn ⭐️
19:46 Sep 07, 2020

Thanks again Brooke! I tried to make the neighbor likable and I'm glad you like her. Thanks so much for reading BOTH stories!

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19:51 Sep 07, 2020

No problem, Evelyn!

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B. W.
15:36 Sep 18, 2020

Hey i just made a new story ^^ could you go check out "Crossover: the plan" and tell me what ya think?

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:05 Sep 18, 2020

Sure!

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B. W.
13:00 Sep 17, 2020

wait your being down-voted now as well?? i can try to up-vote you if you want?

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:00 Sep 17, 2020

Yep, it's really annoying!! You don't have to it's ok, but if you want to I really don't care.

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B. W.
21:01 Sep 17, 2020

Maybe we'll be able to stop the down-voting soon

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:02 Sep 17, 2020

Hopefully, I really hate it!

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Nunya Business
19:55 Sep 11, 2020

That was a well written story great job I just posted a new story Please read

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Keerththan 😀
06:22 Sep 08, 2020

Hey Evelyn Wow!!!! I completely understood Nate's feelings. And you have conveyed it wonderfully. It was so realistic and I was very much satisfied with the ending. Cool story. Nice write up, Evelyn. I had just read the part 1 and now read the part 2. Keep writing. The only thing I noticed is that: Nate can't just run out of the studio. That's very indecent of him. You may make something up like he lies that he wanted to use the restroom or something. But, this suggestion is only about me. It's totally up to you. Wonderful story an...

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Evelyn ⭐️
12:35 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you so much again!

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Keerththan 😀
12:57 Sep 08, 2020

Welcome.

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:20 Sep 08, 2020

😆

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Keerththan 😀
01:42 Sep 09, 2020

😁😁😁

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Keerththan 😀
03:15 Sep 09, 2020

Wow!!!! You have mentioned me in your bio. Cool!!!! Thanks.

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:04 Sep 09, 2020

Sure! No problem! You have helped me so much! I had to mention you!

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C.j 🤍
21:14 Sep 22, 2020

Awesome awesome awesome!!!!!!! Awesome job!!!!

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Corey Melin
23:13 Sep 12, 2020

I figured the guilt would end up getting to him. The question is how he would deal with it. What he does, many people throughout the world would not do. It happens all the time, and will continue. A very good read, enjoying it all the way. I can say my mind has not wandered as I read your stories. Reading and enjoying all the way.

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:36 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you so much for reading a lot of my stories! I really appreciate the feedback you have been leaving! I agree, and thank you!

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Jade Young
22:58 Sep 12, 2020

This was a really great read😊 I enjoyed every sentence, and how at the end someone comforted Nate instead of criticising him like everyone else. It was so cathartic, and I loved reading all about how he was able to lift this burden off of his chest.

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:34 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you so much Jade for your sweet comment!

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Gip Roberts
19:53 Sep 10, 2020

I like both of these stories, but especially this one because of the seamless way you made the prompt fit the story.

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:01 Sep 10, 2020

Thank you so much for reading!

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Yolanda Wu
11:20 Sep 10, 2020

I was definitely very intrigued to see how Nate was going to take the sudden fame for something he didn't do. I love the way you described how he moved out of his crappy house because people donated money to him and all that stuff, because that totally raises the stakes with what he could possibly lose if he comes clean. I always love the kind of stories that delve deep into the human psychology and what we're willing to live with. I'm droning on again. In short, part two didn't disappoint and I absolutely love your writing. If you have the...

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:58 Sep 10, 2020

Thank you so much for reading both parts to the story! Your not droning on, I love to here what you have to say! I can't wait to check out your stories!

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13:23 Sep 08, 2020

Hi, Evelyn! Awesome story! Also, I read in your bio you’re starting school...me too! In 3 minutes, actually. Have a good day!

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Evelyn ⭐️
15:58 Sep 08, 2020

Thanks! You too!

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Batool Hussain
13:12 Sep 08, 2020

Glad that you continued the story. Good job!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
15:23 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you so much Batool!

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Avery G.
03:12 Sep 08, 2020

Wow, this was amazing. It really did match with the prompt! I loved it! Great job!

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Evelyn ⭐️
12:33 Sep 08, 2020

Thanks you so much Avery!

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Avery G.
18:47 Sep 08, 2020

You're welcome! Also, I think your new profile picture is cool!!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:18 Sep 08, 2020

Really?That's me, I thought I looked really weird in it but I wanted people to know what I looked like.

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Avery G.
20:29 Sep 08, 2020

You don't look weird!

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:30 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you! It was my school picture so I had to dress really nice!

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B. W.
08:29 Dec 12, 2020

hey

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B. W.
00:46 Nov 02, 2020

hey

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Andrew Krey
02:51 Sep 08, 2020

Hi Evelyn, that was a sweet ending to your two part saga, I liked the idea it ended with a moral and a little self reflection for the reader. As far as suggestions, I think the balance of your stories leads more to the action than the scene/description. Sometimes the plot moves very fast and feels like a list of actions, rather than a flowing story. I think the story would benefit from more description of environments/characters to help the reader visualise the story too. Pace is important for tension, so for example with this story you ...

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Evelyn ⭐️
12:33 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you so much for reading both parts. Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you liked the stories!

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Andrew Krey
14:50 Sep 08, 2020

You're welcome. I liked the idea of using the different prompts to create a series of connected stories...so much so I may steal the idea! :) Cheers

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Evelyn ⭐️
15:27 Sep 08, 2020

Wow thanks. You should totally use it!

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Lauren K
21:35 Sep 07, 2020

I know this is nothing related to the story but have fun at school!

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:57 Sep 07, 2020

Ha, it's fine! And thank you so much! I'm so excited/nervous.

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